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Are You There Vodka Its Me Chelsea
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Book Synopsis Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by : Chelsea Handler
Download or read book Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea written by Chelsea Handler and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-12-29 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."
Book Synopsis Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by : Chelsea Handler
Download or read book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang written by Chelsea Handler and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2010-04-01 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
Book Synopsis My Horizontal Life by : Chelsea Handler
Download or read book My Horizontal Life written by Chelsea Handler and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2013-04-30 with total page 141 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
Author :Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims Publisher :Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book ISBN 13 :1455504653 Total Pages :304 pages Book Rating :4.4/5 (555 download)
Book Synopsis Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by : Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Download or read book Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me written by Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims and published by Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
Book Synopsis Uganda Be Kidding Me by : Chelsea Handler
Download or read book Uganda Be Kidding Me written by Chelsea Handler and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2014-03-04 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.
Book Synopsis Life Will Be the Death of Me by : Chelsea Handler
Download or read book Life Will Be the Death of Me written by Chelsea Handler and published by Dial Press. This book was released on 2019-04-09 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler’s year of self-discovery—featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles A SKIMM READS PICK • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time.”—Amy Schumer In a haze of vape smoke on a rare windy night in L.A. in the fall of 2016, Chelsea Handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. And then Donald Trump happens. In a torpor of despair, she decides that she’s had enough of the privileged bubble she’s lived in—a bubble within a bubble—and that it’s time to make some changes, both in her personal life and in the world at large. At home, she embarks on a year of self-sufficiency—learning how to work the remote, how to pick up dog shit, where to find the toaster. She meets her match in an earnest, brainy psychiatrist and enters into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to look within and make sense of a childhood marked by love and loss and to figure out why people are afraid of her. She becomes politically active—finding her voice as an advocate for change, having difficult conversations, and energizing her base. In the process, she develops a healthy fixation on Special Counsel Robert Mueller and, through unflinching self-reflection and psychological excavation, unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest, insightful, and deeply, darkly funny, Chelsea Handler’s memoir keeps readers laughing, even as it inspires us to look within and ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives. Praise for Life Will Be the Death of Me “You thought you knew Chelsea Handler—and she thought she knew herself—but in her new book, she discovers that true progress lies in the direction we haven’t been.”—Gloria Steinem “I always wondered what it would be like to watch Chelsea Handler in session with her therapist. Now I know.”—Ellen DeGeneres “I love this book not just because it made me laugh or because I learned that I feel the same way about certain people in politics as Chelsea does. I love this book because I feel like I finally really got to know Chelsea Handler after all these years. Thank you for sharing, Chelsea!”—Tiffany Haddish
Book Synopsis Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. by : Judy Blume
Download or read book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. written by Judy Blume and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-04-29 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Faced with the difficulties of growing up and choosing a religion, a 12-year-old girl talks over her problems with her own private God. Reissued with a fresh new look and cover art. Simultaneous.
Book Synopsis Science Comics: Coral Reefs by : Maris Wicks
Download or read book Science Comics: Coral Reefs written by Maris Wicks and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2016-03-29 with total page 129 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tegneserie. This book look at ocean science and covers the biology of coral reefs as well as their ecological importance
Book Synopsis X-Rated Cocktails by : Kirsten Amann
Download or read book X-Rated Cocktails written by Kirsten Amann and published by RP Minis. This book was released on 2015-03-24 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sex and cocktails have always mixed well together, which explains the need for this vital go-to drink guide. Whether you’re looking to spice up a soirée or find a sexy solution to your boring, retrograde cocktails, the drinks that follow are sure to inspire a bit of lighthearted fun—or perhaps something more—at your next cocktail party or bar crawl. Included within you will find dozens of X-rated drinks with downright dirty names we couldn’t possibly print them here!
Download or read book Pawnee written by Leslie Knope and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2011-11-22 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to Pawnee: More Exciting than New York, More Glamorous than Hollywood, Roughly the Same Size as Bismarck, North Dakota In Pawnee, Leslie Knope (as played by Amy Poehler on NBC's hit show Parks and Recreation) takes readers on a hilarious tour through her hometown, the Midwestern haven known as Pawnee, Indiana. The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history -- like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America.
Download or read book Man Up! written by Ross Mathews and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this hilarious and inspirational memoir, Ross Mathews -- best known as "Ross the Intern" from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno -- chronicles his life growing up as an atypical kid in a small Northwestern farm town to living as an atypical adult in Los Angeles, to eventually being his loud, proud, apologetically genuine self on national television. As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what? It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, Man Up! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!
Book Synopsis Then Again, Maybe I Won't by : Judy Blume
Download or read book Then Again, Maybe I Won't written by Judy Blume and published by Yearling. This book was released on 2012-03-21 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ever since his dad got rich from an invention and his family moved to a wealthy neighborhood on Long Island, Tony Miglione’s life has been turned upside down. For starters, there’s his new friend, Joel, who shoplifts. Then there’s Joel’s sixteen-year-old sister, Lisa, who gets undressed every night without pulling down her shades. And there’s Grandma, who won’t come down from her bedroom. On top of all that, Tony has a whole bunch of new questions about growing up. . . . Why couldn’t things have stayed the same?
Book Synopsis The Acid Watcher Diet by : Jonathan Aviv, MD, FACS
Download or read book The Acid Watcher Diet written by Jonathan Aviv, MD, FACS and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2017-01-24 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dr. Aviv guides readers through healthy dietary choices with targeted recipes, helping them balance their bodies and minds for optimal health and break acid-generating habits for good. Do you suffer from abdominal bloating; a chronic, nagging cough or sore throat; postnasal drip; a feeling of a lump in the back of your throat; allergies; or shortness of breath? If so, odds are that you are experiencing acid reflux without recognizing its silent symptoms, which can lead to serious long-term health problems, including esophageal cancer. In The Acid Watcher Diet, Dr. Jonathan Aviv, a leading authority on the diagnosis and treatment of acid reflux disease, helps readers identify those often misunderstood symptoms while providing a proven solution for reducing whole-body acid damage quickly and easily. His 28-day program is part of a two-phase eating plan, with a healthy balance of both macronutrients (proteins, carbs, and fats) and micronutrients (vitamins, minerals, antioxidants), that works to immediately neutralize acid and relieve the inflammation at the root of acid reflux.
Book Synopsis Sit Down to Rise Up by : Shelly Tygielski
Download or read book Sit Down to Rise Up written by Shelly Tygielski and published by New World Library. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An empowering book on propelling profound social change by going inward, from a mindfulness teacher and activist who has turned personal practice into movements The practice of self-care is most often touted for its profound mind, body, and spirit benefits. Shelly Tygielski shows that self-care can also be a powerful tool for spurring transformative collective action. In a winning combination of memoir, manifesto, and how-to, Shelly shares her evolution from a Jerusalem-born child of traditional Sephardic Jewish parents to a middle-class American suburban youth who questioned her faith to a young executive in corporate America. As she used radical self-care practices to manage a serious chronic health issue, she had an epiphany: finding true health and peace is not a solo endeavor but one that lives in connection with others. Tygielski considers herself an unlikely meditator, activist, and teacher. But as such, she is uniquely qualified to speak to all today who wonder, “What can I do?” or, “Will my actions even make a difference?” Tygielski’s work began as “me” work and transformed into “we” work. In Sit Down to Rise Up, she shows that this is possible for all of us.
Book Synopsis So Here's the Thing . . . by : Alyssa Mastromonaco
Download or read book So Here's the Thing . . . written by Alyssa Mastromonaco and published by Twelve. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times bestselling author of Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? comes a fun, frank book of reflections, essays, and interviews on topics important to young women, ranging from politics and career to motherhood, sisterhood, and making and sustaining relationships of all kinds in the age of social media. Alyssa Mastromonaco is back with a bold, no-nonsense, and no-holds-barred twenty-first-century girl's guide to life, tackling the highs and lows of bodies, politics, relationships, moms, education, life on the internet, and pop culture. Whether discussing Barbra Streisand or The Bachelor, working in the West Wing or working on finding a wing woman, Alyssa leaves no stone unturned...and no awkward situation unexamined. Like her bestseller Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?, SO HERE'S THE THING... brings a sharp eye and outsize sense of humor to the myriad issues facing women the world over, both in and out of the workplace. Along with Alyssa's personal experiences and hard-won life lessons, interviews with women like Monica Lewinsky, Susan Rice, and Chelsea Handler round out this modern woman's guide to, well, just about everything you can think of.
Book Synopsis Musician's Notebook Deluxe Ed. by : Matthew Teacher
Download or read book Musician's Notebook Deluxe Ed. written by Matthew Teacher and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 2012-11-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A deluxe interactive workbook for songwriters, featuring approximately 70 spreads on which to compose 70 songs. The book is a sturdy hardcover (no jacket) with a lay-flat binding for use on music stands and flat surfaces. Also includes printed chord stickers to make the songwriting process easier and more legible, plus a removable poster that shows approximately 48 of the most popular chords for reference.
Download or read book Name Drop written by Ross Mathews and published by Atria Books. This book was released on 2021-02-09 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Ross Mathews, the nationally bestselling author of Man Up!, judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and alum of Chelsea Lately, comes “a delightful mix of sweet and sour celebrity experiences” (Shelf Awareness) in this hilarious and irreverent collection of essays. Pretend it’s happy hour and you and I are sitting at the bar. I look amazing and, I agree with you, much thinner in person. You look good, too. Maybe it’s the candlelight, maybe it’s the booze. Either way, let’s just go with it. Keep this all between you and me, and do me a favor? Don’t judge me if I name drop just a little. Television personality Ross Mathews likes telling stories. He was always outrageous and hilariously honest, even when the biggest celebrity he knew was his favorite lunch lady in the school cafeteria. Now that he has Hollywood experience—from interning behind the scenes at The Tonight Show with Jay Leno to judging RuPaul’s Drag Race—he has a lot to talk about. In Name Drop, Ross dishes about being an unlikely insider in the alternate reality that is showbiz, like that time he was invited by Barbara Walters to host The View—only to learn his hero did not suffer fools; his Christmas with the Kardashians, which should be its own holiday special; and his news-making talk with Omarosa on Celebrity Big Brother, which, as it turns out, was just the tip of the iceberg. Holding nothing back, Ross shares the most treasured and surprising moments in his celebrity-filled career, and proves that while exposure may have made him a little bit famous, he is still as much a fanboy as ever. Filled with “charmingly told” (Booklist) tales ranging from the horrifying to the hilarious—and with just the right “Rossipes” and cocktails to go along with them—Name Drop is every pop culture lover’s dream come true.
