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Who Will Help Jack Off The Horse
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Book Synopsis Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse? by : Bimisi Tayanita
Download or read book Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse? written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic
Book Synopsis Gray Horse at Oak Lane Stable by : Kerri Lukasavitz
Download or read book Gray Horse at Oak Lane Stable written by Kerri Lukasavitz and published by Oak Lane Stable Novel Series. This book was released on 2023-05-19 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What will 13-year-old Cassie do when she unexpectedly finds a threatening note buried in her show trunk from an unknown informant, warning her that she'd better watch out or face serious consequences if she and her new hunter mare, Snowdrops, continue to win blue ribbons? Will she cave in or set her heart on achieving her goals to qualify for the fall Children's Equitation Championship despite the odds against her? Who left the note? Would somebody really hurt her or her horse? It couldn't be her best friend from 3rd grade, could it?On top of the horse-show drama, Cassie experiences her first dance and crush, along with the challenges she and her friends face as they move through eighth grade. She will also face the hardest decision of her young life - a decision she puts off as long as she can.
Book Synopsis The Illustrated Guide to Holistic Care for Horses by : Denise Bean-Raymond
Download or read book The Illustrated Guide to Holistic Care for Horses written by Denise Bean-Raymond and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book A Good Horse written by Jane Smiley and published by Knopf Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2010-10-26 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When eighth grader Abby Lovitt looks out at those pure-gold rolling hills, she knows there’s no place she’d rather be than her family’s ranch—even with all the hard work of tending to nine horses. But some chores are no work at all, like grooming young Jack. At eight months, his rough foal coat has shed out, leaving a smooth, rich silk, like chocolate. As for Black George, such a good horse, it turns out he’s a natural jumper. When he and Abby clear four feet easy as pie, heads start to turn at the ring—buyers’ heads—and Abby knows Daddy won’t turn down a good offer. Then a letter arrives from a private investigator, and suddenly Abby stands to lose not one horse but two. The letter states that Jack’s mare may have been sold to the Lovitts as stolen goods. A mystery unfolds, more surprising than Abby could ever expect. Will she lose her beloved Jack to his rightful owners? Pulitzer Prize winner Jane Smiley raises horses of her own, and her affection and expertise shine through in this inviting horse novel for young readers, set in 1960s California horse country and featuring characters from The Georges and the Jewels.
Download or read book Shadow Horse written by Alison Hart and published by Laurel Leaf. This book was released on 2010-05-25 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thirteen-year-old foster kid Jasmine Schuler is immediately drawn to the scrawny, broken-looking brown gelding huddled in the corner of an auction house stall. Feeling a kinship with the lonely animal, Jas convinces her new foster mom, who rescues and rehabilitates abused horses on her Virginia farm, to buy him. Slowly, the horse Jas names Shadow begins to blossom and even to thrive. But when Jas uncovers a startling clue to Shadow's true identity, she becomes entangled in a mystery which could have serious consequences for the two of them. Both the heartwarming story of a young girl's love for her horse and an intriguing mystery, this inspiring middle-grade novel will appeal to horse lovers and mystery fans alike.
Download or read book My Uncle Jack's Off written by Bo Nehr and published by . This book was released on 2017-07-19 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they're pretty attention grabbing, right?!? Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack's Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You'll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms! Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack's Off "I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger." - Rosie Palmer "I've heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once." - D.T. Sanchez "My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement" - Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous "Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to" - Gary the Unicyclist "[Shakes book...] How do I get the sound out?" - Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print "I find this book VERY hard to put down!" - Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book "It's the perfect length. What they say is true... size matters." - A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what'd you think? This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it's time you saw Uncle Jack's Off for yourself. Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack's Off by clicking "Add to Cart" above. You'll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man's epic climax to fun.
Download or read book Horse Sense written by Al Ries and published by New York ; McGraw-Hill. This book was released on 1991 with total page 378 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Horse Sense, the authors convert their marketing principles into personal principles and pitch their book at a wide range of general readers who want to succeed - whether in their careers or in their personal lives.
Book Synopsis Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! by : Bimisi Tayanita
Download or read book Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Curious but not concerned as to where they would sleep that night, Bimisi and Sumguyen aimlessly meandered down the cobblestone calles of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. As the sun set over the Pacific they found themselves sequestered by a weathered native peddler who mimed towards his cart and through his guttural broken english encouraged them to "Put Tony's nuts in your mouth..."60 pesos later, as a cold cerveza washed down the first of Tony's nuts,pen was put to parchment and book four of season one came to be.Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth is the fourth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.
Book Synopsis Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber by : Bimisi Tayanita
Download or read book Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sumguyen has always had a thick mane of hair, in the summer of 2016 he decided to grow a beard. Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs.It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale as Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another. They took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, "That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn't talk."A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi's nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of season one. Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber is the fifth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.
Book Synopsis Brenda's Beaver Plays a Round by : Bimisi Tayanita
Download or read book Brenda's Beaver Plays a Round written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "It takes a lot of balls to play golf like I do."--Pibber PayneSports like football, basketball, hockey and women's beach volleyball are intended to be watched, not actually played. Other sports are almost painful to watch, but participation is worth the price of admission EVERY time. Bimisi and Sumguyen have a long-standing policy of not participating in any sport unless it is acceptable, even expected that they will be drinking the entire duration. Sports on their short list include bowling, fishing, billiards and tubing down the Salt River under the Arizona summer sun.While the aforementioned do involve excessive amounts of skill, dedication and beer; there is only one sport that includes a motorized cart, all the booze you can handle and the iconic ball washing machine. This is the logic they applied when the decision was made to take Brenda and her beaver out for a lovely round of golf. Enjoy.
Book Synopsis Do You Want to Play with My Balls? by : Christopher Cifaldi
Download or read book Do You Want to Play with My Balls? written by Christopher Cifaldi and published by . This book was released on 2012-11-12 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand by : Bimisi Tayanita
Download or read book Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Spank the Monkey will never expose the thoughts that you fold and unfold and refold over and over in your mind...He will only whisper his sweet song of deliverance.Inspired by several hundred true stories...and counting. Bimisi Tayanita says it all, without saying much of anything. If you are not choking on laughter midway through this book, don't bother with books 4 and 5...maybe this isn't for you. We can part ways now and still be friends.Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand is a fun and light hearted story that everybody can relate to, except for you of course...you have no idea what everybody is laughing about (wink, wink).Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand is the third of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.
Download or read book My Camino written by Patrick Warner and published by Biblioasis. This book was released on 2019-06-18 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reeling from the Night of Nights, an unexpected blockbuster art show, Floss, a transgender New York gallery owner, invites subversive installation artist Budsy and their best friend the Apostle John to cycle the Camino de Santiago. When Floss tells her friends about her shocking experience at the hands of the King of the New York art scene, the journey becomes an anti-pilgrimage—from spiritual discovery to revenge fantasy. Moving from New York to Spain to Dublin, My Camino is a book about misfits, identity, art and spirituality narrated by the audacious Apostle John whose telling sometimes rhymes, is often hilarious and is always a blistering account of the contemporary art world.
Book Synopsis Peter Pitched a Tent by : Bimisi Tayanita
Download or read book Peter Pitched a Tent written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Never make eye contact with a boy while eating a banana."--Olivia WilliamsBimisi and Sumguyen experienced a rare and fleeting moment of sobriety during which they decided to write about something the masses can relate to. While their research did require the navigation of some very murky waters...they definitively concluded that Catholic priests, mall Santas, boy scout leaders and dudes named Caitlyn makeup a very small percentage of the global population.In contrast, 97% of the people on the planet are, have been or will be a 13 year old boy; or they know, have known or will know a 13 year old boy. Coincidently, and Independent of this statistic, 97% of the population can appreciate the truth-driven humor of Peter Pitched a Tent. The other 3% are already posting nasty-grams on the internet about the very existence of this book...Go get 'em, Karen.
Book Synopsis 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by :
Download or read book 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.. This book was released on 2013-11-06 with total page 313 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A treasury of the world's top-selected one-liners and jokes, published for today's generation of social media comics, includes such puns, zingers and witty remarks as "A dyslexic man walks into a bra." By the creator of The Margaret Thatcher Book of Quotations. Original. 10,000 first printing.
Book Synopsis If the Walls Could Speak by : Deirdre M. Silvestri
Download or read book If the Walls Could Speak written by Deirdre M. Silvestri and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2014-11-21 with total page 125 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's a beautiful, clear spring day, and soon the cherry blossoms will fall from the trees and blanket the ground like snow. This season promises to be extraordinary, but it won't be the same without Da, who passed away at Christmastime. Finn O'Brine stares out the window, taking it all in. He can't believe his father will never spend time with him again. And he can't believe there's a bat at his window-talking to him. Before his death, Mr. O'Brine told Finn many stories about colossal dragons, sorcery, and the magic of Wickum Mannor in Ireland-but they couldn't possibly be real, right? Wrong! Magic runs in the O'Brine family; it's part of their heritage. Now thirteen, Finn will begin to show signs of his magical inheritance any day now. It's time for Finn; his twin sister, Neave; his younger brother, Jack; and his mother, Ailish, to leave the comfort of their home in America and journey to Wickum Manor themselves. They expect a summerlong adventure, but the O'Brine children may not be as ready as they think. With all the fantastic things to experience and discover on the four-hundred-acre estate, will Finn want to enroll at the magical Wickum Academy, or will he choose to return to his friends and classes in America at summer's end?
Book Synopsis The Messianic Credentials by : Lee Kah Wor
Download or read book The Messianic Credentials written by Lee Kah Wor and published by Lee Kah Wor. This book was released on 2020-04-07 with total page 131 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some of the contents in this series may be too graphical and not suitable for children. Parental discretion is advised. This book serves as a documentation of what a recipient of the mercy and grace of Elohim has found convincing from His written Word. God is love. I have the utmost respect for the gift of free choice from the loving Father God. This is the first of five-volume series on "The Messianic Credentials". It is not about what the right choice should be. It would be ludicrously futile to debate over such a thing as it is a matter of perception. In the process of putting this series together, I realized that God (Elohim) did not write what we like to hear. He wrote what we need to hear. This is because love corrects (Proverbs 3:12 and Hebrews 12:6). And God is love (1 John 4:8 and 1 John 4:16). He wrote the Bible out of His Spirit of love. In view of the above, I have written this series to relay that same Spirit. It is an appeal to consider reunion with God the loving Father from the perspective of the salvation wrought through Christ crucified. The love of God will bring about a change in perspective. In the words of Romans 2:4, it is the kindness of God that leads to repentance. As a caveat, this series is to be read with an open mind. It is meant to present the state of things from a Biblical perspective with no malicious and derogative intent. Any perception to the contrary is highly unfortunate and/or regrettable. Among other things, this volume examines the following notions: 1. Disasters are acts of God; 2. God helps those who help themselves; 3. Life and death is in the hands of God; and 4. Every man with a mustache is a father (有鬍鬚就係老豆; jau5 wu4 sou1 zau6 hai6 lou5 dau6). The above are just some common perception of God. The last bits is about men. God sent the flood to destroy the ancient world. He also sent the Ten Plagues on ancient Egypt. Why would God, Who is love, do that? Is there an underlying rationale behind that apparent anomaly? As an Omniscient God, why did He place the forbidden tree in the Garden when He already knew Adam would eat from it? Similarly, why did God create Lucifer knowing well that he would rebel against Him? Since God foreknew that both Adam and Lucifer would fall, how can He then blame them? In this first volume, we will take a closer look at all that. In addition, you will: 1. Know what is really meant by sin (It’s not about right doing); 2. Appreciate how knowing the true meaning of sin will deepen the gratitude for the gracious love of God (Hence the Law leads to Christ); 3. Witness how Eve demonstrated the danger of knowing God based on hearsay; 4. Look at how evil has been made God and God, evil (Romans 1:18); 5. See a graphical representation of the origin of sin and the cycle of sin; 6. Trace the current ills of the earth right back to its source; 7. Gain insight into how the Law leads to Christ from the example of the apostle Paul; 8. Understand the detailed mechanics of crucifixion and therein get a sense of what the Lord went through to redeem us; 9. Extract the pertinent points of Peter’s sermon which effectively summarized what is meant by faith comes from hearing and hearing the message concerning Christ (Romans 10:17); 10. Marvel at how our hero Jesus Christ has broken the sin cycle; 11. Tap into the wisdom of God to see the future as pre-written history; and 12. Get to receive the most precious gift of your life. God has in times past foretold what the Christ would do (Hebrews 1:1-3). Along came this man by the name of Jesus from Nazareth. He did everything that God said that the Christ would do. What does that tell us? Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ. Hence, the more we hear of how Jesus of Nazareth had done what God said the Christ would do, faith in Him as the Christ arises; faith comes. This series focuses on the evidence God has provided to prove that Jesus of Nazareth was the Promised Messiah, with emphasis on His humanity aspect. The first volume of this series plays a preparatory role just as how John the Baptist announced the arrival of the Promised Messiah. It is to prepare the heart to receive the love of Father God as demonstrated by Christ crucified. Against this backdrop, I invite you to approach this series with an open mind. You may just find the perfect match for that earnest yearning in the deepest recess of your heart. Looking forward to meeting with you in the word.
