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5000 Sidesplitting Jokes And One Liners
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Book Synopsis 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by :
Download or read book 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Book Synopsis 5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners by :
Download or read book 5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Skyhorse. This book was released on 2021-10-19 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thousands of jokes and zingers to expand your repertoire and become a master of comedy! Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Book Synopsis 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by :
Download or read book 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.. This book was released on 2013-11-06 with total page 313 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A treasury of the world's top-selected one-liners and jokes, published for today's generation of social media comics, includes such puns, zingers and witty remarks as "A dyslexic man walks into a bra." By the creator of The Margaret Thatcher Book of Quotations. Original. 10,000 first printing.
Book Synopsis The Big Book of Dad Jokes by : Joe Kerz
Download or read book The Big Book of Dad Jokes written by Joe Kerz and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-19 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered “yes” to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.
Download or read book Jokes 101 written by Alex Gall and published by Balboa Press. This book was released on 2016-02-23 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jokes 101 is a new and different view of the best jokes and interesting observations on 107 separate topics from accountants to zombies. If you are looking for funny, clean jokes on a specific topic, just select the jokes that best suit your purpose. If you are required to say a few words or give a speech, a well-chosen joke or observation will put your audience in a more receptive mood and make your appearance unforgettable and unique. If you’re talking to a group of barbers, try, “I received an expensive comb as a gift. I thanked my girlfriend and said, ‘I’ll never part with it.’” When speaking to a group of doctors, what can you say? Knowing the current zombie craze, try, “When he told the ladies that he was Doctor Jekyll, they all wanted to Hyde.” When speaking about family, try, “Here’s a statement that breaks a mother’s heart: ‘Mommy, I missed the school bus.’” If singing is a topic, try, “My daughter sang a duet with our dog; it was a howling success.” That’s enough punishment for now. Will you be a hit, the proverbial life of the party, based on your singularly entertaining and informative discussions or speeches using the jokes or observations stolen from this, in all modesty, semibombastic, fantastic material in Jokes 101? PS: I don’t know anyone who can do me a bit of good, so no important person has endorsed this book; you’ll just have to think positive.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Book Synopsis 3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners by : Dave Phillips
Download or read book 3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners written by Dave Phillips and published by Gramercy. This book was released on 2005 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."
Download or read book No Joke written by Ruth R. Wisse and published by Princeton University Press. This book was released on 2015-03 with total page 296 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Humor is the most celebrated of all Jewish responses to modernity. In this book, Ruth Wisse evokes and applauds the genius of spontaneous Jewish joking--as well as the brilliance of comic masterworks by writers like Heinrich Heine, Sholem Aleichem, Isaac Babel, S. Y. Agnon, Isaac Bashevis Singer, and Philip Roth. At the same time, Wisse draws attention to the precarious conditions that call Jewish humor into being--and the price it may exact from its practitioners and audience"--
Download or read book I Want to Laugh written by Derrick Ellis and published by Author House. This book was released on 2010-03-25 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The recommended daily dose of laughter is 15 minutes a day. I WANT TO LAUGH gives you the health benefits of laughter. For example, laughter lowers Blood Pressure, promotes better sleep, increases natural killer cells (to attack cancers and tumors), improves respiration, and much much more. In addition, there are hundreds and hundreds of jokes, quips, and quotations for almost every occasion. That's right this book will provide the quotes and jokes you need to get your day or night going with excitement. After reading only a few pages, readers will find themselves emailing these side-splitting jokes to friends, family members, and co-workers.
Book Synopsis Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids) by : Rob Elliott
Download or read book Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids) written by Rob Elliott and published by Baker Books. This book was released on 2010-08-01 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2 million sold! USA TODAY bestseller! Wall Street Journal bestseller! What happens to race car drivers when they eat too much? They get indy-gestion. Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages 7-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! This mega-bestselling book will have children rolling on the floor with laughter and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child.
Book Synopsis The Best Joke Book (Period) by : William Donohue
Download or read book The Best Joke Book (Period) written by William Donohue and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-11 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!
Book Synopsis The Funny Side of Working from Home by : Robert Frosdick
Download or read book The Funny Side of Working from Home written by Robert Frosdick and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-10 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You'll soon see the Funny Side of Working From Home with this crazy collection of over 200 hilarious jokes, quips, gags and one-liners about all aspect of work; whether it be dealing with the boss, mastering video meetings or working in your pyjamas. From the downright childish to the frankly rude, this side-splitting collection is sure to having to roaring with laughter... long enough to even temporarily forget about that pile of paperwork you were supposed to have finished.We all know that working from home can be a stressful, demanding, thankless, underpaid, frustrating, monotonous and demoralising task - but enough about the positives. Sometimes you deserve to just sit back, put your feet up, relax and have a jolly good laugh and giggle....pretty much like every other day.
Book Synopsis Reader's Digest Laughter is the Best Medicine: All Time Favorites by : Reader's Digest
Download or read book Reader's Digest Laughter is the Best Medicine: All Time Favorites written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-05 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.
Book Synopsis The Ultimate Dad Joke Book by : Hugh Murmie
Download or read book The Ultimate Dad Joke Book written by Hugh Murmie and published by . This book was released on 2020-05-10 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
Book Synopsis The World's Funniest Lawyer Jokes by : Steven D. Price
Download or read book The World's Funniest Lawyer Jokes written by Steven D. Price and published by Skyhorse Publishing Inc.. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most clever, sidesplitting collection of lawyer jokes . . . bar none.
Download or read book Teacher Jokes written by Chester Croker and published by . This book was released on 2019-11-28 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have lots of fun and laughter with this hilarious teachers joke book. teachers of all levels will definitely enjoy this collection of funny jokes for teachers. You will simply be rolling on the floor with laughter with some of the gags.This mixture of teachers jokes will prove that dentists have a good sense of humor.This book is brand new in November 2019, and it is guaranteed to get you laughing.Inside you will find many quality jokes, many cheesy jokes and many stories to make you laugh out loud.Buy it now!
Download or read book I Lost My Laugh written by Curtis Brown and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2014-07-31 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Come take a Journey with Camden as his laugh leads him on a chase through the city. Along the way, running into obstacles and meeting a friend to help him capture the only thing that gives him the sound of joy. Will Camden ever get his laugh back?
