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Horny Santa
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Book Synopsis 12 Horny Days of Xmas by : C. J. Edwards
Download or read book 12 Horny Days of Xmas written by C. J. Edwards and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-10-13 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A pretty, innocent young wife left on her own over the Xmas period. What is she to do? Then the presents start arriving; one for each of the twelve days running up to Christmas and each one more and more arousing. Harriet is aroused and corrupted; each gift leading her further down a path she's unlikely to return from... a path that leads to some sort of climax on Christmas Day! An erotic short story. A quick burst of festive fun!
Book Synopsis How Santa Lost His Jollies by : Deborah Reis
Download or read book How Santa Lost His Jollies written by Deborah Reis and published by Deborah Reis. This book was released on 2011-05-05 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brimming with laugh-out-loud Santa stories, How Santa Lost His Jollies is a humorous take on Santa "events" from around the globe, from Santa gropers, to flying Santas (Elvis impersonators), to patented Santa traps, and of course, the usual kids (naughty) with their Santa-defying tricks. Drawn from genuine, and documented, news articles, How Santa Lost His Jollies reveals the trial and tribulations- even dangerous situations -endured by today's Santa. Well, not the real Santa, but those jolly old elves who work the trade for dollars. Admittedly, it was one dark and dismal Christmas Eve when in a desperate attempt to ignite my own holiday spirit, I resorted to dredging up Santa-in-the-news events off the internet. It wasn't long before I found myself laughing out loud. Therein lies the beginning of How Santa Lost His Jollies -- as well as the crummy feeling one gets upon discovering that the guy who delivered your first bicycle is right now busy getting his nose bloodied and a couple of eyes seriously discolored in a back alley, one quite possibly located near you. Santa stories, like all holiday stories, are meant to be shared. Accordingly, each Santa news event has been reconfigured to include a short multiple-choice quiz designed to keep both grinches and guests engaged and amused. You already know the scene: Christmas day; cooks in the kitchen; kids squabbling over noisy, blinking toys; teenagers tying up the TV with noisier, electronic games; guys swapping fish stories; and the self-appointed in-law joke-teller laughing at his own dirty jokes. Time to open How Santa Lost His Jollies, assign the family grinch to read the stories out loud and let the cooks, kids, and by now slightly inebriated men-folk guess the punch lines. Only right answers count.
Book Synopsis Santa Got Run Over by a Vampire by : Carrie Pulkinen
Download or read book Santa Got Run Over by a Vampire written by Carrie Pulkinen and published by Carrie Pulkinen. This book was released on 2020-12-07 with total page 103 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Father Christmas has just been damned to darkness. Jane Devereux is adjusting to her new life as a nocturne fabulously. She runs the most popular nightclub in the French Quarter and is married to the hottest vampire in New Orleans. When she accidentally runs over Santa Claus and has to turn him into a vampire to save him, her perfect undead life begins to crumble like a week-old sugar cookie. Whoops. Jane has three days to teach Santa the ways of the vampire and send him back to the North Pole in time for Christmas Eve. Oh, and if that’s not stressful enough, her dad is coming for Christmas. And he doesn’t know she’s a vampire. Or that she's married. Double whoops. Grab a mug of miracle cure and join the vamps of New Orleans Nocturnes in this fast, fun holiday read.
Book Synopsis Where the Heart Is by : Jenny Gardiner
Download or read book Where the Heart Is written by Jenny Gardiner and published by Jenny Gardiner Books. This book was released on 2011-07-10 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reese Larkin had given up on ever going home again, until she realizes that home is the only place she'll ever be able to reclaim what's most important to her. After a call from a long-lost friend, she decides to embark on a road trip to revisit her past and along the way comes to realize that home really is where the heart is... (originally was titled House of Cards) What people are saying about Jenny Gardiner's books: "A fun, sassy read! A cross between Erma Bombeck and Candace Bushnell, reading Jenny Gardiner is like sinking your teeth into a chocolate cupcake…you just want more." --Meg Cabot, NY Times bestselling author of Princess Diaries, Queen of Babble and more, on Sleeping with Ward Cleaver "As Sweet as a song and sharp as a beak, Bite Me really soars as a memoir about family--children and husbands, feathers and fur--and our capacity to keep loving though life may occasionally bite." --Wade Rouse, bestselling author of At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream "With a strong yet delightfully vulnerable voice, food critic Abbie Jennings embarks on a soulful journey where her love for banana cream pie and disdain for ill-fitting Spanx clash in hilarious and heartbreaking ways. As her body balloons and her personal life crumbles, Abbie must face the pain and secret fears she's held inside for far too long. I cheered for her the entire way." --Beth Hoffman, NY Times bestselling author of Saving CeeCee Honeycutt on Slim to None "Jenny Gardiner has done it again--this fun, fast-paced book is a great summer read." --Sarah Pekkanen, NY Times bestselling author of The Opposite of Me, on Slim to None Keywords: women’s fiction, romantic comedy, humor, contemporary romance, modern fairy tale, new adult, second chances, romance, love, chick lit, chicklit, wedding, marriage, self-discovery, family issues
Download or read book The Hypnotist written by Lars Kepler and published by Vintage Crime/Black Lizard. This book was released on 2018-07-31 with total page 568 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER • The first of the Killer Instinct series featuring Detective Joona Linna: a triple murder, the one surviving witness—a boy with no memory of what happened—and the hypnotist hired to help uncover the truth. “Full of surprises and more than enough twists to keep those pages turning well into the night.” —NPR The police are desperate for information on the triple homicide. Detective Joona Linna enlists the help of hypnotist Erik Maria Bark. But when Bark unlocks the secrets in the boy’s memory, he triggers a terrifying chain of events that will put all their lives in jeopardy.
Download or read book The Clumsy Santa written by Sue Brown and published by One Hat Press. This book was released on with total page 69 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Charlie discovers love amongst the tinsel. He falls for Santa, whilst Santa falls head over heels onto the floor. Falling in love with Santa is the last thing Charlie Johnson expects when he takes a holiday job as an elf in Santa’s Grotto. Nick is the shyest and clumsiest man Charlie has ever met, but that’s just part of his charm. Charlie falls for Santa, whilst Santa falls head over heels onto the floor. At least they can laugh together about it! But after several weeks, Charlie starts to despair he will ever be more than Santa’s helper. His holiday job is nearly over, yet Nick hasn’t declared anything more than friendship. Will Charlie ever get his real Christmas wish?
Download or read book Santa's Kiss written by Isabel James and published by Linzi Basset. This book was released on 2020-11-05 with total page 97 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hunky Santa. One little elf. An incredibly sexy one-night stand . . . or was it? Avery Blain is a partner in a successful catering company who is thought of by the people around her as being smart, steady, and responsible—a person who makes good decisions. What few people know is that Avery has a wild passionate side which she rarely allows out of its cage to play. Overbooking by her partners forces Avery to work a corporate party on Christmas eve for a large company run by the type of men she tries to avoid—rich, handsome, and powerful men who are accustomed to getting what they want. Editor’s Notes: “If this holiday season story doesn’t make you emotional . . . you need to check to see if you still have a pulse.” “This is one Santa story you will definitely have to keep hidden from the kids.”
Download or read book Santa's Baby written by Cassie Donoghue and published by Wolfsparrow Publishing. This book was released on 2021-12-10 with total page 139 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Remy wasn’t looking for the hottest hookup of her life when she volunteered as a Christmas elf—especially not from her ex-girlfriend’s dad. But now, all she wants is to sit on Santa’s lap and let him make her filthiest fantasies come true. CW: features brief mention of spousal death (he’s a widower), age gap (34 & 55), light daddy kink, and consensual reverse somnophilia roleplay
Download or read book Horny Santa written by Ethan Radcliff and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-15 with total page 54 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Every year Dave Johnson dresses up as Santa Claus to please his girlfriend. Dave's a horny guy and enjoys being a horny Santa. This year Dave skips out on his girlfriend and takes up an invite to a party. However, it's a requirement that he wear his Santa suit. What's that old saying, be careful what you wish for. Sometimes what you see, isn't what you get.
Download or read book Hell's Flowers written by David White and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2006-08 with total page 383 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Santa's Secret Sex Journal by : Seth Kinstle
Download or read book Santa's Secret Sex Journal written by Seth Kinstle and published by Seth Kinstle. This book was released on 2022-12-21 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect Christmas gag gift for that special someone. If you struggle trying to find the perfect present for a person you know with a sense of humor, look no further. This journal has all the steamy details you need to make your holiday complete. Armed with a arsenal of crude rants and over the top sexy segments. You'll be sure to prank your way into the new year with this holiday favorite. What better way to set the mood than to gift something as ridiculous as this? So much for the typical boring presents you endlessly scroll through online. Throw a log on the fire as you snuggle up to your Christmas tree for the spoof of a lifetime. You'll get exclusive access to all the sexy things Santa has been up to. As well as his captivating complicated relationship issues with Mrs. Claus. What are you waiting for? Let's unwrap this bad boy and call it a new year.
Book Synopsis Santa Steps Out by : Robert Devereaux
Download or read book Santa Steps Out written by Robert Devereaux and published by Deadite Press. This book was released on 2011-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sex, Death, and Santa Claus ... His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten? ... She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north? ... He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another? ... Deadite Press is proud to bring back the ultimate erotic Christmas story from Robert Devereaux
Book Synopsis Picture Imperfect: A Fake Relationship Romantic Comedy with a Twist by : Mary Frame
Download or read book Picture Imperfect: A Fake Relationship Romantic Comedy with a Twist written by Mary Frame and published by Mary Frame. This book was released on 2018-05-27 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Boy meets girl. They make a quick deal. Fake relationship, And they...don't fall in love. Wait! What? The new tight end for the New York Sharks, Brent Crawford, is one of the sexiest men alive. But he needs an image makeover. With allegations of assault, his sponsors are threatening to drop him. He needs a miracle. He needs Gwen McDougall. Former fashion model and national heroic sweetheart, Gwen immerses herself into photography, wanting to be on the other side of the lens for a change. She wants more from her photography jobs than premeditated shots of B-list celebutantes, and now is her chance. Gwen just has to agree to help Brent shine up his tarnished reputation. Easy Peasy. After all, he's Brent Crawford. It's picture perfect. But, Brent's not the Crawford brother she wants. Suddenly picture perfect is rather imperfect. Not your typical fake relationship romance! Can be read as a stand alone novel and has a guaranteed HEA!
Download or read book Just Say Noel written by David Comfort and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 1995-11 with total page 264 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fresh for the holidays, this hilarious and warm-hearted review of the top holiday stories of the last two millennia (with a special focus on Christmas Present) sparkles with dozens of shiny, new Christmas tales and tidbits, including vital stats on eating, shopping and other manifestations of the Christmas spirit, the Santa controversy, and much more.
Book Synopsis New Orleans Nocturnes Collection 2 by : Carrie Pulkinen
Download or read book New Orleans Nocturnes Collection 2 written by Carrie Pulkinen and published by Carrie Pulkinen. This book was released on 2023-04-05 with total page 666 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reapers, demons, and…Santa? Oh my! Jane's story isn't over yet, and she's picking up a few friends along the way. The shenanigans continue in New Orleans Nocturnes Collection Two: Father Christmas is damned to darkness. All hell breaks loose when the Grim Reaper takes a vacation. A succubus might fall in love, and Gaston may very well get his shift together and find happiness. Includes the next four books of the series: Santa Got Run Over by a Vampire Finders Reapers Swipe Right to Bite Batshift Crazy
Book Synopsis A CAUSE and MANNER by : Peter Tinits MD
Download or read book A CAUSE and MANNER written by Peter Tinits MD and published by Dying Medium Press. This book was released on 2020-06-22 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Cause and Manner is a noir thriller featuring suspense, dark humour and physicians behaving badly. Matthew Kork is an anesthesiologist at a Canadian community hospital. There is tension in the operating room between Matt and an elitist surgeon, Angelo Amodeo. There is also tension between Matt and his wife, whom he suspects of having an affair. Her boyfriend dies in what looks like a staged suicide. Angelo disappears next. Matt is either responsible for these events or wished for them hard enough. Matt is also the local coroner and is assigned to investigate the boyfriend's death. Despite the obvious conflict of interest, he accepts the case and brings in a verdict of suicide. The decedent's family launches a wrongful death lawsuit. At the hearing, their lawyer is on the verge of discovering the love affair that would have given Matt a motive for murder. He admits to all the allegations against him to bring the proceedings to a close. This by no means confirms his guilt. Peter Tinits is a physician in Ontario, Canada. A Cause and Manner is his debut novel. The book title is taken from coroners’ parlance for findings made at the conclusion of an investigation. The storyline features authentic details and gallows humour that only an insider would know. The question of whether murder can be justified, if it is well earned, remains unanswered. Advance Praise for A CAUSE and MANNER Bloody good —Sebringville Star Effing great —Mennonite Gazette You have to read this one. Very effing great —Mitchell Times I had my heart in my mouth —13th Dalai Lama So-so, if you’ve seen everything on Netflix —Cal Malinkowski Strong writing, if you like that kind of thing —Charles Hamilton, Hamilton House Pretty darn good —Nijole Tinits Passable first effort —Lila Cook, Nijole’s sister Not that bad —Peterborough Anarchists Motorcycle Club I liked the hockey chapter —Father O’Brien, Coach, Coventry Minor Bantam Hockey No blood or blood products —The Watchtower I would rather have a root canal —Mark Straus DDS I’m a better writer —Hawthorne Didier It’s no Duddy Kravitz —Yale Erenberg MD Smut and filth —Smiths Falls Literary Review
Download or read book Santa's Treat written by Mia Kingsley and published by Black Umbrella Publishing. This book was released on 2024-09-08 with total page 75 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everything goes downhill the second Santa starts eating my cake... Being as broke as I am, I can barely afford the ingredients for my signature Christmas cake, but I scrape together every last penny I own to make it happen. The man who hired me is an illustrious playboy with many rich friends—some of them will probably want to buy my baked goods after tasting my cake at his expensive Christmas fundraiser. Everything goes according to plan until I find Santa in the kitchen, his mouth full of my cake. And that's not the worst thing Santa does that night... This is a dark romance novella with a sweet happy ending. Expect a bossy hero taking what he wants from the woman of his dreams, and a fierce baker standing her ground. Please note that "Santa's Treat" was previously published under the title "Santa's Pretty Secret" in the USA Today Bestselling Anthology "Secret Santa."
