You Can Have A Dog When Im Dead

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While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog

Author : Ric Browde
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780006513742
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (137 download)

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Book Synopsis While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog by : Ric Browde

Download or read book While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog written by Ric Browde and published by . This book was released on 2000 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine if J.D. Salinger had a sense of humour ... this intelligent, off-beat novel is fast-paced, wicked, dark and extremely funny. My publishers are trying to convince me that books are like albums and sell better when they are released posthumously. Seeing the point, I ask if I can at least fake my own death, but it seems that is fundamentally dishonest and they flatly refuse to be involved in any such fraud. So just in case I've croaked by the time you read this (and everyone but me is filthy rich), here is my story: one day I'm trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, Nina Pennington, and the next day I'm in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But we hit a bump or two -- a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nyphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscupulous laywers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives -- and now for some unknown reason a lot of people don't want to talk to me anymore. When sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault's story opens with his mother's attempted suicide note: While I'm dead... feed the dog and h

In Dog Years I'm Dead

Author : Carol Lynn Pearson
Publisher : Gibbs Smith
ISBN 13 : 1423615069
Total Pages : 130 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (236 download)

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Book Synopsis In Dog Years I'm Dead by : Carol Lynn Pearson

Download or read book In Dog Years I'm Dead written by Carol Lynn Pearson and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2010-08-01 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Quips and quotes about aging to keep you laughing into your golden years. If there’s one thing most of us have learned by midlife, it’s that sharing laughter is what makes for the best memories—and one of the best ways to live until you die. You know you’re getting older when… •you do the hokey pokey and put your left hip out—and it stays out •you’re cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police •you’re sitting in a rocker and can’t get it started This treasury of humorous observations can lift the spirits of that large portion of the population who are settling into a new phase of life—and want to add laughter to all the other medicines they’re taking.

You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead

Author : Paul Benedetti
Publisher : Dundurn
ISBN 13 : 1459738136
Total Pages : 214 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (597 download)

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Book Synopsis You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead by : Paul Benedetti

Download or read book You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead written by Paul Benedetti and published by Dundurn. This book was released on 2017-02-18 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hamilton Spectator columnist Paul Benedetti’s essays paint a wonderfully funny portrait of family life today. Paul Benedetti has a good job, a great family, and successful neighbours — but that doesn’t stop him from using it all as grist for a series of funny, real, and touching essays about a world he can’t quite navigate. Benedetti misses his son, who is travelling in Europe, misplaces his groceries, and forgets to pick up his daughter at school. He endures a colonoscopy and vainly attempts to lower his Body Mass Index — all with mixed results. He loves his long-suffering wife, worries about his aging parents and his three children, who seem to spend a lot of time battling online trolls, having crushes on vampires, and littering their rooms with enough junk to start a landfill.

The Other End of the Leash

Author : Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0307489183
Total Pages : 289 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (74 download)

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Book Synopsis The Other End of the Leash by : Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.

Download or read book The Other End of the Leash written by Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2009-02-19 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

A Dog's Purpose

Author : W. Bruce Cameron
Publisher : Forge Books
ISBN 13 : 1429960272
Total Pages : 320 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (299 download)

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Book Synopsis A Dog's Purpose by : W. Bruce Cameron

Download or read book A Dog's Purpose written by W. Bruce Cameron and published by Forge Books. This book was released on 2010-07-06 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Dog’s Purpose—the #1 New York Times bestseller and major motion picture—is a perfect gift to introduce dog lovers to this wonderful series. Based on the beloved bestselling novel by W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog’s Purpose, from director Lasse Hallström (The Cider House Rules, Dear John, The 100-Foot Journey), shares the soulful and surprising story of one devoted dog (voiced by Josh Gad) who finds the meaning of his own existence through the lives of the humans he teaches to laugh and love. The family film told from the dog’s perspective also stars Britt Robertson, KJ Apa, John Ortiz, Peggy Lipton, Juliet Rylance, Luke Kirby, Pooch Hall and Dennis Quaid. A Dog’s Purpose is produced by Gavin Polone (Zombieland, TV’s Gilmore Girls). The film from Amblin Entertainment and Walden Media will be distributed by Universal Pictures. Screenplay by W. Bruce Cameron & Cathryn Michon and Audrey Wells and Maya Forbes & Wally Wolodarsky. Heartwarming, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud funny, A Dog's Purpose is not only the emotional and hilarious story of a dog's many lives, but also a dog's-eye commentary on human relationships and the unbreakable bonds between man and man's best friend. This moving and beautifully crafted story teaches us that love never dies, that our true friends are always with us, and that every creature on earth is born with a purpose. Bailey's story continues in A Dog's Journey, the charming New York Times and USA Today bestselling direct sequel to A Dog's Purpose. A Dog's Purpose Series #1 A Dog’s Purpose #2 A Dog’s Journey #3 A Dog's Promise Books for Young Readers Ellie's Story: A Dog’s Purpose Puppy Tale Bailey’s Story: A Dog’s Purpose Puppy Tale Molly's Story: A Dog's Purpose Puppy Tale Max's Story: A Dog’s Purpose Puppy Tale Toby's Story: A Dog's Purpose Puppy Tale Shelby's Story: A Dog's Way Home Novel The Rudy McCann Series The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man Repo Madness Other Novels A Dog's Way Home The Dog Master The Dogs of Christmas Emory’s Gift At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

I Had a Black Dog

Author : Matthew Johnstone
Publisher : Hachette UK
ISBN 13 : 1780339038
Total Pages : 48 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (83 download)

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Book Synopsis I Had a Black Dog by : Matthew Johnstone

Download or read book I Had a Black Dog written by Matthew Johnstone and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'I Had a Black Dog says with wit, insight, economy and complete understanding what other books take 300 pages to say. Brilliant and indispensable.' - Stephen Fry 'Finally, a book about depression that isn't a prescriptive self-help manual. Johnston's deftly expresses how lonely and isolating depression can be for sufferers. Poignant and humorous in equal measure.' Sunday Times There are many different breeds of Black Dog affecting millions of people from all walks of life. The Black Dog is an equal opportunity mongrel. It was Winston Churchill who popularized the phrase Black Dog to describe the bouts of depression he experienced for much of his life. Matthew Johnstone, a sufferer himself, has written and illustrated this moving and uplifting insight into what it is like to have a Black Dog as a companion and how he learned to tame it and bring it to heel.

Zak George's Dog Training Revolution

Author : Zak George
Publisher : National Geographic Books
ISBN 13 : 1607748916
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Zak George's Dog Training Revolution by : Zak George

Download or read book Zak George's Dog Training Revolution written by Zak George and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2016-06-07 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A revolutionary way to raise and train your dog, with “a wealth of practical tips, tricks, and fun games that will enrich the lives of many dogs and their human companions” (Dr. Ian Dunbar, veterinarian and animal behaviorist). Zak George is a new type of dog trainer. A dynamic YouTube star and Animal Planet personality with a fresh approach, Zak helps you tailor dog training to your pet’s unique traits and energy level—leading to quicker results and a much happier pup. For the first time, Zak has distilled the information from his hundreds of videos and experience with thousands of dogs into this comprehensive dog and puppy training guide that includes: • Choosing the right pup for you • Housetraining and basic training • Handling biting, leash pulling, jumping up, barking, aggression, chewing, and other behavioral issues • Health care essentials like finding a vet and selecting the right food • Cool tricks, traveling tips, and activities to enjoy with your dog • Topics with corresponding videos on Zak’s YouTube channel so you can see his advice in action Packed with everything you need to know to raise and care for your dog, this book will help you communicate and bond with one another in a way that makes training easier, more rewarding, and—most of all—fun!

Nubs: The True Story of a Mutt, a Marine & a Miracle

Author : Major Brian Dennis
Publisher : Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
ISBN 13 : 031618408X
Total Pages : 48 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (161 download)

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Book Synopsis Nubs: The True Story of a Mutt, a Marine & a Miracle by : Major Brian Dennis

Download or read book Nubs: The True Story of a Mutt, a Marine & a Miracle written by Major Brian Dennis and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2010-11-01 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 100,000 copies sold! A true story of a marine and the miraculously loyal dog he befriends in Iraq. Nubs, an Iraqi dog of war, never had a home or a person of his own. He was the leader of a pack of wild dogs living off the land and barely surviving. But Nubs's life changed when he met Marine Major Brian Dennis. The two formed a fast friendship, made stronger by Dennis's willingness to share his meals, offer a warm place to sleep, and give Nubs the kind of care and attention he had never received before. Nubs became part of Dennis's human "pack" until duty required the Marines to relocate a full 70 miles away--without him. Nubs had no way of knowing that Marines were not allowed to have pets. So began an incredible journey that would take Nubs through a freezing desert, filled with danger tofind his friend and would lead Dennis on a mission that would touch the hearts of people all over the world. Nubs and Dennis will remind readers that friendship has the power to cross deserts, continents, and even species.

Animals in Spirit

Author : Penelope Smith
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416584420
Total Pages : 196 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

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Book Synopsis Animals in Spirit by : Penelope Smith

Download or read book Animals in Spirit written by Penelope Smith and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-01-08 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From a pioneer in the field of interspecies communication for more than forty years, Penelope Smith’s Animals in Spirit teaches you how to release the feelings of loss and separation that follow the death of a beloved pet and instead stay connected to your pet before, during, and after they cross over the rainbow bridge. Losing an animal companion can be a painful experience, yet by examining their transition from a spiritual perspective, Animals in Spirit explores the process of dying from the viewpoints of both pets and their people. Learn how animals choose their paths in each life and the knowledge they leave behind for their human families. As animals make their way from the physical into the spiritual realm, Animals in Spirit can strengthen the union with our beloved friends by teaching us to accept and understand the full experience of the cycle of life. Our dear pets and companions may be gone from this world, but there is comfort to be had in the knowledge that we can still commune with them and that this is not really goodbye. With true stories, insights from animals and their human friends, as well as meditations to ease the mourning process or help you to communicate with animals in the spirit realm, Animals in Spirit will help heal the feelings of grief and separation by connecting you to your faithful companion in spirit.

Ask a Manager

Author : Alison Green
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0399181814
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (991 download)

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Book Synopsis Ask a Manager by : Alison Green

Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

Animals and the Afterlife

Author : Kim Sheridan
Publisher : ReadHowYouWant.com
ISBN 13 : 1459618971
Total Pages : 630 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (596 download)

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Book Synopsis Animals and the Afterlife by : Kim Sheridan

Download or read book Animals and the Afterlife written by Kim Sheridan and published by ReadHowYouWant.com. This book was released on 2011-04-25 with total page 630 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kim Sheridan grew up with animals as her constant companions. Each time she faced the death of a beloved animal, along with the pain came the same questions, to which she could find no answers. Then, mysterious things began to happen that she couldn't explain, which led her on an incredible journey to uncover the truth. Along with her own extraordinary experiences, she compiled heartwarming and meaningful true stories of everyday people around the world, and discovered compelling evidence that forever erased her own doubts about an afterlife for animals. This book provides enormous comfort and reassurance to anyone who has ever cherished an animal, and food for thought for anyone who has ever questioned the place of these beloved creatures in the larger scheme of things, both here on Earth and beyond.

The Forever Dog

Author : Rodney Habib
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0063002620
Total Pages : 328 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (63 download)

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Book Synopsis The Forever Dog by : Rodney Habib

Download or read book The Forever Dog written by Rodney Habib and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-10-12 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller In this pathbreaking guide, two of the world’s most popular and trusted pet care advocates reveal new science to teach us how to delay aging and provide a long, happy, healthy life for our canine companions. Like their human counterparts, dogs have been getting sicker and dying prematurely over the past few decades. Why? Scientists are beginning to understand that the chronic diseases afflicting humans—cancer, obesity, diabetes, organ degeneration, and autoimmune disorders—also beset canines. As a result, our beloved companions are vexed with preventable health problems throughout much of their lives and suffer shorter life spans. Because our pets can’t make health and lifestyle decisions for themselves, it’s up to pet parents to make smart, science-backed choices for lasting vitality and health. The Forever Dog gives us the practical, proven tools to protect our loyal four-legged companions. Rodney Habib and Karen Becker, DVM, globetrotted (pre-pandemic) to galvanize the best wisdom from top geneticists, microbiologists, and longevity researchers; they also interviewed people whose dogs have lived into their 20s and even 30s. The result is this unprecedented and comprehensive guide, filled with surprising information, invaluable advice, and inspiring stories about dogs and the people who love them. The Forever Dog prescriptive plan focuses on diet and nutrition, movement, environmental exposures, and stress reduction, and can be tailored to the genetic predisposition of particular breeds or mixes. The authors discuss various types of food—including what the commercial manufacturers don’t want us to know—and offer recipes, easy solutions, and tips for making sure our dogs obtain the nutrients they need. Habib and Dr. Becker also explore how external factors we often don’t think about can greatly affect a dog’s overall health and wellbeing, from everyday insults to the body and its physiology, to the role our own lifestyles and our vets’ choices play. Indeed, the health equation works both ways and can travel “up the leash.” Medical breakthroughs have expanded our choices for canine health—if you know what they are. This definitive dog-care guide empowers us with the knowledge we need to make wise choices, and to keep our dogs healthy and happy for years to come.

Is that a Dead Dog in Your Locker?

Author : Todd Strasser
Publisher : Scholastic Inc.
ISBN 13 : 0439776945
Total Pages : 191 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (397 download)

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Book Synopsis Is that a Dead Dog in Your Locker? by : Todd Strasser

Download or read book Is that a Dead Dog in Your Locker? written by Todd Strasser and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2008-08 with total page 191 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Leyton and Wade Tardy agree to help their friend Daisy hide a dog at school, they have no idea what they're getting themselves into.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Author : Alan Alda
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 1588364925
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (883 download)

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Book Synopsis Never Have Your Dog Stuffed by : Alan Alda

Download or read book Never Have Your Dog Stuffed written by Alan Alda and published by Random House. This book was released on 2005-09-13 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He’s one of America’s most recognizable and acclaimed actors–a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his eleven years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances. “My mother didn’t try to stab my father until I was six,” begins Alda’s irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession. Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow. It is the story of turning points in Alda’s life, events that would make him what he is–if only he could survive them. From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist’s shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can’t be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them. Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.

My Life in Dog Years

Author : Gary Paulsen
Publisher : Yearling
ISBN 13 : 0307538796
Total Pages : 144 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (75 download)

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Book Synopsis My Life in Dog Years by : Gary Paulsen

Download or read book My Life in Dog Years written by Gary Paulsen and published by Yearling. This book was released on 2009-06-03 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gary Paulsen has owned dozens of unforgettable and amazing dogs, and here are his favorites--one to a chapter. Among them are Snowball, the puppy he owned as a boy in the Philippines; Ike, his mysterious hunting companion; Electric Fred and his best friend, Pig; Dirk, the grim protector; and Josh, one of the remarkable border collies working on Paulsen's ranch today. My Life in Dog Years is a book for every dog lover and every Paulsen fan--a perfect combination that shows vividly the joy and wisdom that come from growing up with man's best friend.

My Dog: The Paradox

Author : The Oatmeal
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1449437710
Total Pages : 35 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (494 download)

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Book Synopsis My Dog: The Paradox by : The Oatmeal

Download or read book My Dog: The Paradox written by The Oatmeal and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

Hyperbole and a Half

Author : Allie Brosh
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451666187
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

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Book Synopsis Hyperbole and a Half by : Allie Brosh

Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!