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Fearful Avoidant In Love
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Book Synopsis Fearful- Avoidant in Love by : Johanna Sparrow
Download or read book Fearful- Avoidant in Love written by Johanna Sparrow and published by . This book was released on 2018-02-28 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You've been playing games in your relationship far too long and it's about to cost you what you really want, love. If you don't pull it together and get a grip, you know you will be alone soon. Fearing rejection and abandonment, a person with the fearful avoidant attachment style is passive-aggressive and has a hard time seeing their own worth. They question love and their actions are confusing to their partner. This book discusses all four attachment styles, but highlights the fearful avoidant partner.
Download or read book Attached written by Amir Levine and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-12-30 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
Download or read book Avoidant written by Jeb Kinnison and published by . This book was released on 2014-10-02 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types (Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is ) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: - Seem not to care how you feel? - Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? - Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? - Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? - Act coldly toward your children and the needy? - Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? - Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.
Download or read book Wired for Dating written by Stan Tatkin and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2016-01-02 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.
Download or read book Attachment Theory written by Thais Gibson and published by Rockridge Press. This book was released on 2020-03-24 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Build powerful current and future relationships by understanding your past In order to improve closeness and intimacy in all relationships, it is important to first understand the clear parallels between adult behavior and childhood experiences. Attachment Theory combines traditional teachings with knowledge of subconscious patterns to provide powerful tools for powerful change. Through interactive quizzes, wrap-up summaries, and real strategies you can implement in your daily life, you'll learn the tools needed to reprogram the outdated beliefs causing chaos in your life and relationships--romantic, platonic, or familial. Inside Attachment Theory, you'll find: What's your style?--Begin with the 4 basic attachment theory styles--Dismissive-Avoidant, Fearful-Avoidant, Anxious Attachment, and Secure Attachment. The best methods--Using the 3 primary forms of therapy--Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and RAIN (Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation, Non-Identification)--you'll begin to reprogram your subconscious mind. Old meets new--Learn through a mix of traditional psychological methodologies and new, cutting edge techniques of attachment theory. With a firm understanding of attachment theory, you'll be on your way to healthier relationships.
Book Synopsis The Amaranth Chronicles by : Alexander Barnes
Download or read book The Amaranth Chronicles written by Alexander Barnes and published by Inkshares. This book was released on 2017-11-14 with total page 406 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Helix was meant to be a revolution, but even the most pure of intentions can spawn terrible evil, and the revolution of information and innovation they hoped for may not be the one they get.
Download or read book Bad Boyfriends written by Jeb Kinnison and published by . This book was released on 2014-03-08 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is a practical guide to using the science of attachment and relationships to find the right life partner. If you were brought up in the Western world, you've been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We'll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you're young and just starting to look for a partner, good news-the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you've identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don't make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you're older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They're married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, "why is this one still available?"-there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it's far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too. If you've had lots of relationships and they all seem to go wrong, the common factor is you! Your task is to make yourself into a better partner - a goal that even the most evolved of us can always work toward.
Book Synopsis The Attachment Theory Workbook by : Annie Chen
Download or read book The Attachment Theory Workbook written by Annie Chen and published by Althea Press. This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Put attachment theory into practice--the definitive workbook. What do you want from your closest relationships, and are you getting it? What concrete steps do you need to take to develop happier and healthier attachments? These are the central questions attachment theory seeks to answer, and this definitive workbook shows you how to apply these insights to your life and relationships. Armed with effective tools and strategies, you'll discover your personal attachment style and the role it plays in your closest relationships--with your partner, parents, siblings, or close friends. With guidance to confront challenges and explore possibilities for real change, The Attachment Theory Workbook offers an active approach to build close, healthy, long-lasting relationships. With The Attachment Theory Workbook you'll learn: Attachment Theory 101--Learn the founding principles of attachment theory and what they mean to you. Your Attachment Style--Understand how your thoughts and feelings about relationships impact anxious, avoidant, and even secure attachment behaviors. How to Heal--Use exercises and questionnaires to foster understanding, intimacy, and stability in your relationships. All the tools you need to lay the foundation for strong and lasting relationships--The Attachment Theory Workbook.
Book Synopsis How We Love, Expanded Edition by : Milan Yerkovich
Download or read book How We Love, Expanded Edition written by Milan Yerkovich and published by WaterBrook. This book was released on 2009-01-20 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you know the last fight you had with your spouse began long before you even met? Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you: * identify your personal love style * understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse * break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck * find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms * create the close, nourishing relationship you dream about Revised throughout with all-new material and additional visual diagrams, this expanded edition of How We Love will bring vibrant life to your marriage. Are you ready for a new journey of love? Note: The revised and expanded How We Love Workbook is available separately.
Book Synopsis Avoidant Attachment by : David Lawson PhD
Download or read book Avoidant Attachment written by David Lawson PhD and published by David Lawson PhD. This book was released on with total page 113 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Does your partner experience their relationship with you through a certain detachment? Do you feel coldness and distance within the relationship that is difficult to explain? Do you strive to grow your relationship, but have been stuck in the same spot for months or even years? A partner with an avoidant attachment style of emotion can build walls and create distances in any couple relationship, can show strict communication limits and undermine a romantic relationship. The detached attitude of the avoidant attachment personality can be frustrating for a partner, who will find him or herself experiencing feelings of uselessness and/or neglect, even to the point of feeling completely abandoned. Those who in a relationship with an avoidant partner can, justifiably, take a few steps back and question the entire relationship. Similarly, in adult life, people with avoidant attachments fear losing their self-reliance. They come to think that forming a partnership with another person will lead them to lose something of themselves. They approach the relationship in a conflictual way. On the one hand, they seek it because they desire intimacy and closeness, but on the other, living the relationship as a couple forces them to confront the painful memory of primary relationships that were emotionally deficient or sources of suffering. You may already have started a family with an avoidant person and made huge efforts to try to make it all work, out of love for your partner, family and children (as well as for your own happiness!). The mechanisms of distancing the avoidant partner have very deep roots. Only knowledge of these ‘protection systems’ can overcome the distances with the person you love. There is no other way. I recommend that you read this book if your partner: - Has a shy, detached, elusive personality or seems impervious to love and emotions. - Struggles to think as a couple and to build a sense of ‘US’. - Obstructs, or deviates from any attempt to communicate your hurt feelings. - Cannot – or will not - accept help from others. - Shows boundless love for a pet but can be cool and aloof with you. - Regards any request for intimacy from you as pressurising. - Shows difficulties in living the sexual life of a couple in a natural way, sometimes even avoiding intimacy in their relationships. - Is not aware of these dynamics, so can come to question love, to the point of thinking that they are a difficult person. Not everyone wants or has time to physically sit down with a couple counsellor. They are often not prepared for this type of specific attachment. Instead, you might feel: - Empty and confused when you are close to your partner. - Like an invader of their privacy and put aside. - That there is something wrong and you feel that somehow, it's your fault. - As if you are playing a constant game of ‘hide and seek’ in the relationship. - That sometimes, you are insecure and unworthy of love. If you do not intervene soon, those in a couple relationship with an avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship that consists of distances, until the relationship eventually fragments. Everything you have built together will have been in vain. Understanding the wounds of attachment is the best gift you can give to your relationship, and grow and nurture intimacy.
Book Synopsis Anxiously Attached by : Jessica Baum
Download or read book Anxiously Attached written by Jessica Baum and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2022-06-14 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A road map for building strong and secure relationships for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections. An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In Anxiously Attached, seasoned psychotherapist and couples counselor Jessica Baum guides readers through understanding their attachment style at its core and building the inner strength and self-love that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships. Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum’s signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how to: Create boundaries to safeguard their sense of self-sovereignty in relationships Communicate to their partners what they need to feel safe and secure in the relationship Develop a secure sense of self-worth and emotional stability Learn the true meaning of a healthy/interdependent relationship and how to establish one with their partner or future partner. Discover a compassionate path towards healing through experiences like mediation practices where they can start to develop more insight into their internal landscape. Attain a deep understanding of the anxious-avoidant dance that is extremely common in intimacy struggles. Anxiously Attached offers a practical and holistic approach for overcoming anxious attachment issues to discover happier, more fulfilling relationships.
Download or read book Girl Rebuilt written by Tracy Shields and published by Bookbaby. This book was released on 2020-08-08 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You're miserable, in pain, frustrated. He says he loves you, but he's never available. Wtf? No matter what you do, no matter how successful you are, you can't seem to break the pattern of dating unavailable, avoidant guys, and you're sick of it. "Girl Rebuilt" is designed for women who are seeking to avoid dating those partners. It requires asking yourself a tough question: could you be a love addict? Tracy Shields is the bestie you need to talk it out with. She offers up fresh, intense insight on how to reconfigure your defense mechanisms, ditch your fears of abandonment, and become the person you need to be to experience healthy love.
Book Synopsis Stop Running from Love by : Dusty Miller
Download or read book Stop Running from Love written by Dusty Miller and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2008-03-01 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you afraid of or unable to create intimacy or closeness with your intimate partner? Do you find that sometimes you create emotional, communicative, or even physical distance from that special someone in your life, even when, deep down, you really don't want to? If so, you share the relationship style psychologists refer to as the distancer. Distancers are often afraid of being engulfed or controlled by their partners. They fear rejection, vulnerability, and dependence. Sadly, they also tend to have short and unhappy relationships. If you want to stop running from love in your life, this book offers a simple, step-by-step approach you can use to move beyond your fear of intimacy and start building strong and lasting relationships. The exercises and self-evaluations in the book will help you become aware of how you operate in romantic relationships. You'll review and reassess your relationship patterns, deciding what changes you want to make in future relationships. Then you'll commit to actions that can make it happen.
Download or read book Adult Attachment written by Omri Gillath and published by Academic Press. This book was released on 2016-03-29 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Adult Attachment: A Concise Introduction to Theory and Research is an easy-to-read and highly accessible reference on attachment that deals with many of the key concepts and topics studied within attachment theory. This book is comprised of a series of chapters framed by common questions that are typically asked by novices entering the field of attachment. The content of each chapter focuses on answering this overarching question. Topics on the development of attachment are covered from different levels of analysis, including species, individual, and relationship levels, working models of attachment, attachment functions and hierarchies, attachment stability and change over time and across situations, relationship contexts, the cognitive underpinnings of attachment and its activation of enhancement via priming, the interplay between the attachment behavioral system and other behavioral systems, the effects of context on attachment, the contribution of physiology/neurology and genetics to attachment, the associations/differences between attachment and temperament, the conceptualization and measurement of attachment, and the association between attachment and psychopathology/therapy. Uses a question-and-answer format to address the most important topics within attachment theory Presents information in a simple, easy-to-understand way to ensure accessibility for novices in the field of attachment Covers the main concepts and issues that relate to attachment theory, thus ensuring readers develop a strong foundation in attachment theory that they can then apply to the study of relationships Addresses future directions in the field of attachment theory Concisely covers material, ensuring scholars and professionals can quickly get up-to-speed with the most recent research
Download or read book Wired for Love written by Stan Tatkin and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2024-06-01 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.
Download or read book Polysecure written by Jessica Fern and published by Thorntree Press LLC. This book was released on 2020-10-23 with total page 157 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.
Book Synopsis Facing Love Addiction - reissue by : Pia Mellody
Download or read book Facing Love Addiction - reissue written by Pia Mellody and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-11-22 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction. In this fresh new look at codependence, Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships. Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes. Designed to be used with her new workbook for codependents, Breaking Free, this is a powerful tool for understanding the nature of codependence.
