Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Author : Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims
Publisher : Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
ISBN 13 : 1455504653
Total Pages : 174 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (555 download)

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Book Synopsis Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by : Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims

Download or read book Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me written by Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims and published by Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 174 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious #1 bestselling collection of essays from those nearest and dearest to comedian Chelsea Handler--the people she's lied to. "My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate." -- Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1455599727
Total Pages : 245 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (555 download)

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Book Synopsis Uganda Be Kidding Me by : Chelsea Handler

Download or read book Uganda Be Kidding Me written by Chelsea Handler and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2014-03-04 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this uproarious collection of travel essays, Chelsea Handler sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, Uganda Be Kidding Me has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

My Horizontal Life

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1455577529
Total Pages : 141 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (555 download)

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Book Synopsis My Horizontal Life by : Chelsea Handler

Download or read book My Horizontal Life written by Chelsea Handler and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2013-04-30 with total page 141 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416596364
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

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Book Synopsis Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by : Chelsea Handler

Download or read book Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea written by Chelsea Handler and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-12-29 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 13 : 0446563536
Total Pages : 139 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (465 download)

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Book Synopsis Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by : Chelsea Handler

Download or read book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang written by Chelsea Handler and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2010-04-01 with total page 139 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

Man Up!

Author : Ross Mathews
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1455501794
Total Pages : 175 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (555 download)

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Book Synopsis Man Up! by : Ross Mathews

Download or read book Man Up! written by Ross Mathews and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 175 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this hilarious and inspirational memoir, Ross Mathews -- best known as "Ross the Intern" from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno -- chronicles his life growing up as an atypical kid in a small Northwestern farm town to living as an atypical adult in Los Angeles, to eventually being his loud, proud, apologetically genuine self on national television. As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what? It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, Man Up! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!

Life Will Be the Death of Me

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Dial Press
ISBN 13 : 0525511784
Total Pages : 290 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (255 download)

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Book Synopsis Life Will Be the Death of Me by : Chelsea Handler

Download or read book Life Will Be the Death of Me written by Chelsea Handler and published by Dial Press. This book was released on 2019-04-09 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time. Through her intensely vulnerable, honest, and hilarious reflections, Chelsea shows us more than just her insides. She shows us ourselves.”—Amy Schumer Don’t miss Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix stand-up special, Revolution, now streaming! In the wake of President Donald Trump’s election, feeling that her country—her life—has become unrecognizable, Chelsea Handler has an awakening. Fed up with the privileged bubble she’s lived in, she decides it’s time to make some changes. She embarks on a year of self-sufficiency and goes into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to make sense of a childhood that ended abruptly with the death of her brother. She meets her match in an earnest, nerdy shrink who dissects her anger and gets her to confront her fear of intimacy. Out in the world, she channels her outrage into social action and finds her voice as an advocate for change. With the love and support of an eccentric cast of friends, assistants, family members (alive and dead), and a pair of emotionally withholding rescue dogs, Chelsea digs deep into the trauma that shaped her inimitable worldview and unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest and insightful, Chelsea Handler’s darkly comic memoir is also a clever and sly work of inspiration that gets us to ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives.

Ham: Slices of a Life

Author : Sam Harris
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1476733457
Total Pages : 304 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (767 download)

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Book Synopsis Ham: Slices of a Life by : Sam Harris

Download or read book Ham: Slices of a Life written by Sam Harris and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-01-14 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a collection of personal essays that are “both rip-roaringly funny and sentimental, drawing natural (and justified) comparisons to David Sedaris and David Rakoff” (Esquire), longtime recording artist and actor Sam Harris recounts stories of friendship, love, celebrity, and growing up and getting sober. In sixteen brilliantly observed true stories, Sam Harris emerges as a natural humorist in league with David Sedaris, Chelsea Handler, Carrie Fisher, and Steve Martin, but with a voice uniquely his own. Praised by the Chicago Sun-Times for his “manic, witty commentary,” and with a storytelling talent The New York Times calls “New Yorker– worthy,” he puts a comedic spin on full-disclosure episodes from his own colorful life. In “I Feel, You Feel” he opens for Aretha Franklin during a blizzard. “Promises” is a front-row account of Liza Minnelli’s infamous wedding to “the man whose name shall go unmentioned.” In “The Zoo Story” Harris desperately searches for a common bond with his rough-and-tumble four-year-old son. What better place to find painfully funny material than in growing up gay, gifted, and ambitious in the heart of the Bible belt? And that’s just the first cut: From partying to parenting, from Sunday school to getting sober, these slices of Ham will have you laughing and wiping away salty tears in equal measure with their universal and down-to-earth appeal. After all, there’s a little ham in all of us.

Simple Dreams

Author : Linda Ronstadt
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451668732
Total Pages : 256 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

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Book Synopsis Simple Dreams by : Linda Ronstadt

Download or read book Simple Dreams written by Linda Ronstadt and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-09-02 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Includes discography (page 203-225) and index.

Chocolate, Please

Author : Lisa Lampanelli
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0061733156
Total Pages : 308 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (617 download)

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Book Synopsis Chocolate, Please by : Lisa Lampanelli

Download or read book Chocolate, Please written by Lisa Lampanelli and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-09-15 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedy's Grammy-nominated Queen of Mean reveals all in her jaw-droppingly hilarious, politically incorrect memoir.

Britney Spears' Heart to Heart

Author : Britney Spears
Publisher : Three Rivers Press (CA)
ISBN 13 : 9780609807019
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (7 download)

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Book Synopsis Britney Spears' Heart to Heart by : Britney Spears

Download or read book Britney Spears' Heart to Heart written by Britney Spears and published by Three Rivers Press (CA). This book was released on 2000 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Published to coincide with the release of Britney's new album, this inspiring, heavily illustrated book gives the singer's personal account of how she became the superstar performer she is today. Two 8-page color inserts. Photos.

Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 392 pages
Book Rating : 4.:/5 (729 download)

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Book Synopsis Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me by : Chelsea Handler

Download or read book Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me written by Chelsea Handler and published by . This book was released on 2011 with total page 392 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The friends, family, and co-workers of the late-night talk show host on the E! network describe how they have all been tricked by her into believing tales of utter nonsense and behaving like total fools.

Female Force: Chelsea Handler

Author : Melissa Seymour
Publisher : StormFront Entertainment
ISBN 13 : 1632942208
Total Pages : 24 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (329 download)

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Book Synopsis Female Force: Chelsea Handler by : Melissa Seymour

Download or read book Female Force: Chelsea Handler written by Melissa Seymour and published by StormFront Entertainment. This book was released on 2014-09-10 with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Chelsea Handler, the only female late-night TV host, is a trailblazer for women in comedy. Whether she’s joking with stars on Chelsea Lately, writing hilarious memoirs, or supporting LGBTQ issues, Handler always has our attention. Check out this comic to learn more about Handler’s successes, mistakes, and of course, some ridiculous quotes.

Just Kidding

Author : Louis R. Franzini
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1442213361
Total Pages : 207 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (422 download)

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Book Synopsis Just Kidding by : Louis R. Franzini

Download or read book Just Kidding written by Louis R. Franzini and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2012 with total page 207 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just Kidding is for anyone who wants to learn how to use humor more effectively in their daily lives. It includes opinions, advice, and examples from comics, celebrities, and politicians. Topics include basic principles of comedy, political correctness, strategies to avoid potential pitfalls, and exercises to build humor skills.

Craniama

Author : Bryan Sisson
Publisher : Xlibris Corporation
ISBN 13 : 1503513866
Total Pages : 243 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (35 download)

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Book Synopsis Craniama by : Bryan Sisson

Download or read book Craniama written by Bryan Sisson and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2015-05-08 with total page 243 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this highly intelligible age of technology and bewildering medical advances, researches are amassing large amounts of quantitative information regarding the causes and symptoms of the varied styles of brain injuries that cause troubles for so many. This book is an ethnographically valid expos through which I hope others can better understand the internal thought processes of those having experienced severe, closed-head injuries. By sharing countless, candid examples from my personal ethnography of fifteen years coping with closed-head injury, I wish to provide hopefulness in survivors and their families. The message of Craniama is not only about sorrowful inquiry, but one of celebration! After all, it is only through the natural integrity of survival that objective awareness can be realized. Recovery won't be easy, but when you can, dont be afraid to reawaken! I'm confident the medical community will help you during this time, but Id like to provide a road-map to those who wish to know more, at this very moment.

How to Write a Book That Sells You

Author : Robin Colucci
Publisher : Archway Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1480802050
Total Pages : 253 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (88 download)

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Book Synopsis How to Write a Book That Sells You by : Robin Colucci

Download or read book How to Write a Book That Sells You written by Robin Colucci and published by Archway Publishing. This book was released on 2013 with total page 253 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More than eighty percent of Americans believe they should write and publish a book, but less than one percent actually does so. In How to Write a Book That Sells You, author Robin Colucci guides coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs in writing and publishing a book that can become a power tool in their businesses. The steps presented in this guide seek to help you avoid or handle most of the blocks, distractions, and misunderstandings that prevent people from becoming authors. It teaches you how to excavate your most radical, leading-edge ideas and write a book that excites your audience and expands your impact. "If you are serious about creating a book that doesn't limp across the finish line, you need Robin Colucci's How to Write a Book That Sells You. It is the perfect launching pad to craft and create a book that generates superb credibility, connects you with your target audience, and seeds your financial empire. This is a title that delivers what it says. Judith Briles, Author YOU: Creating and Building Your Author and Book Platforms "Robin Colucci's How to Write a Book That Sells You shows readers the steps to write a book that builds credibility, influence, and drives readers to buy. A must read for anyone who wants to profit beyond book sales." Jill Lublin, 3x best selling author. Visit publicitycrashcourse.com/freegift "Whether you're just a beginner or a seasoned author, How to Write A Book that Sells You is required reading for success in today's electronically evolving market. Michael R. Drew, Promote A Book, 79 Consecutive Wall Street Journal, USA Today & New York Times best-sellers

Orbit: Air Wars: Behind the Mike: Howard Stern, David Letterman, Chelsea Handler, Conan O'Brien and Jon Stewart

Author : Melissa Seymour
Publisher : StormFront Entertainment
ISBN 13 : 1632944332
Total Pages : 125 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (329 download)

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Book Synopsis Orbit: Air Wars: Behind the Mike: Howard Stern, David Letterman, Chelsea Handler, Conan O'Brien and Jon Stewart by : Melissa Seymour

Download or read book Orbit: Air Wars: Behind the Mike: Howard Stern, David Letterman, Chelsea Handler, Conan O'Brien and Jon Stewart written by Melissa Seymour and published by StormFront Entertainment. This book was released on 2015-01-01 with total page 125 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Howard Stern. David Letterman. Chelsea Handler. Conan O’Brien. Jon Stewart: The mouthpieces of a generation and the source for info-tainment, these performers continue to parody hot-button social issues, skewer politicians and movie stars, and entertain us.