Early American Comedy Classic Reprint

Author : Stanley McKenna
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781331141525
Total Pages : 46 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (415 download)

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Download or read book Our Oddities written by Stanley McKenna and published by . This book was released on 2015-07-11 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Excerpt from Our Oddities: An American Comedy, in Five Acts (Sofa L., head up stage - Desk with drop light - Books - Medical instruments and papers, with chair R. - Doors R and L. Book Cases against Flats - Varnish discovered lying on sofa - Sad entering to him. Sad. The doctor's not here? Var. No, I am waiting for him. Sad. Dear me! That's unfortunate - just my luck though. Var. Why - What's the matter? Sad. I wanted to see him on a little personal business. It will do when he comes in. Var. Trouble with he Mudler? Sad. No; but with the editor of that organ. Var. You? It can't be possible! Sad. Yes, it is; quite possible, and quite serious, too. Var. Why, you haven't been attacking anybody, have you? Sad. No. But somebody's been attacking me! Var. A woman, as usual. Sad. Yes! A woman, as usual. You see when Pilbox and I went into practice together, patients were scarce and difficult to recruit. To make a little noise we started the Mudler, a weekly medical, literary and religious gazette, devoted to the cultivation of patients and the discussion of current topics. As the Mudler grew, the practice swelled, and. after a time, Pilbox devoted himself entirely to the patients and left the paper to me. Var. Generous of him. Sad. It was, wasn't it? To be sure, he called me in when he had a difficult case on hand, or one that required unusual skill, but when they got well he took the fees and I got notes for an article. He never gave me a chance - nor any one else. - I never bad a chance! Var. Here's one for you now. There's a lady, you say. Sad. You call that a chance! I don't! Var. Why what's the matter with her? Sad. Boils! Var. Boils? Sad. Yes, boils, constantly and always. First in one place, then in another. Sometimes in several places at once - and occasionally all over. Var. Dear me! Are they very bad? Sad. Bad - awful! Var. Stave her off then. Sad. I can't. That's the weak spot in my nature; the blemish in my character. My confounded obliging disposition wont allow me to say no. I never could say no; particularly to a woman. You have no idea the trouble it has brought upon me. Var. Tell her you have a wife. You wouldn't mind that, I suppose? Sad. No; but do you think that would stop her? Nothing of the kind. Once a woman makes up her mind to a thing, no such obstacle as another woman will stand in her way. I know them. She will tell you she is not going to have her happiness destroyed because there are other women in the world. I had a similar case not long ago. Var. Indeed! What was the matter with her? Sad, Measles. She labored under the impression she was going to have the measles, and kept on till she gave 'em to me. Var. Were they bad? Sad. Bad - awful. About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.