Brain Droppings

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Brain Droppings

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette Books
ISBN 13 : 0306835541
Total Pages : 280 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (68 download)

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Book Synopsis Brain Droppings by : George Carlin

Download or read book Brain Droppings written by George Carlin and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2023-10-10 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sometimes, a little brain damage can help. A book of original humor pieces by beloved comic George Carlin. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny. Also included are two timeless monologues, "A Place for Your Stuff" and "Baseball-Football." Readers will get an inside look into Carlin's mind, and they won't be disappointed by what they find: I buy stamps by mail. It works OK until I run out of stamps. What year did Jesus Christ think it was? A tree: first you chop it down, then you chop it up. Have you ever noticed the lawyer is always smiling more than the client? I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed. If you ever have chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other? Carlin demolishes everyday values and yet leaves you laughing out loud.

Napalm & Silly Putty

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette UK
ISBN 13 : 0786871598
Total Pages : 272 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (868 download)

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Book Synopsis Napalm & Silly Putty by : George Carlin

Download or read book Napalm & Silly Putty written by George Carlin and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2001-07-01 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings. Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask: How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite? Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff? In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"? And he makes some startling observations, including: Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore. Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including: KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.

The Best of Brain Droppings

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Peter Pauper Press, Inc.
ISBN 13 : 9781593598747
Total Pages : 92 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (987 download)

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Book Synopsis The Best of Brain Droppings by : George Carlin

Download or read book The Best of Brain Droppings written by George Carlin and published by Peter Pauper Press, Inc.. This book was released on 2007-06 with total page 92 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With his signature dark and daring humor drawn from everyday life, the world at large, and the vagaries of the English language, George Carlin offers his creative finest in The Best of Braindroppings. From the random braindropping ("When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") to favorite oxymorons ("holy war," for one), and from questions to ponder ("Why are there no B batteries?" for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

3 x Carlin

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette Books
ISBN 13 : 0316390194
Total Pages : 896 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (163 download)

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Book Synopsis 3 x Carlin by : George Carlin

Download or read book 3 x Carlin written by George Carlin and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2015-09-01 with total page 896 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three comedic classics in one, by the legendary George Carlin. Includes Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? For four decades, George Carlin has been one of America's favorite comics, known as much for his willingness to take on taboo subjects as for his absurdist wordplay. As an author, he has proved equally popular: With combined sales of more than two million copies, Carlin's three books of razor-sharp and hilarious observations have topped bestseller lists nationwide. Now, for the first time as an ebook, Hachette Books proudly collects all three volumes--When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Napalm and Silly Putty, and Brain Droppings--into one hilarious omnibus.

Brain Drops

Author : Jeannie Tyrrell
Publisher : Fulton Books, Inc.
ISBN 13 : 164654403X
Total Pages : 108 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (465 download)

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Book Synopsis Brain Drops by : Jeannie Tyrrell

Download or read book Brain Drops written by Jeannie Tyrrell and published by Fulton Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2020-09-10 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brain Drops is an out-of-the-ordinary story of self-discovery. The journey follows a young woman as she fights her way back to reality. After a physical blow to the head, she was propelled into the warm and comfortable land of fantasy. Every time she taps back into the world that continues to spin around her, she wonders if it is worth the battle. Brain Drops is a raw, revelatory, and incredibly entertaining memoir that also provides a glimpse of what’s been going on inside the braincase of society.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette Books
ISBN 13 : 1401381715
Total Pages : 309 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (13 download)

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Book Synopsis When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by : George Carlin

Download or read book When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? written by George Carlin and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2004-10-01 with total page 309 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help

Author : George Carlin
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780894712715
Total Pages : 33 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (127 download)

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Book Synopsis Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help by : George Carlin

Download or read book Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help written by George Carlin and published by . This book was released on 1984 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

3 x Carlin

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette Books
ISBN 13 : 9781401302436
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (24 download)

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Book Synopsis 3 x Carlin by : George Carlin

Download or read book 3 x Carlin written by George Carlin and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2006-10-31 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three comedic classics in one, by the legendary George Carlin. Includes Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? For four decades, George Carlin has been one of America's favorite comics, known as much for his willingness to take on taboo subjects as for his absurdist wordplay. As an author, he has proved equally popular: With combined sales of more than two million copies, Carlin's three books of razor-sharp and hilarious observations have topped bestseller lists nationwide. Now, for the first time as an ebook, Hachette Books proudly collects all three volumes--When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Napalm and Silly Putty, and Brain Droppings--into one hilarious omnibus.

Who Gives a Poop?

Author : Heather L. Montgomery
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN 13 : 1547603488
Total Pages : 193 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (476 download)

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Book Synopsis Who Gives a Poop? by : Heather L. Montgomery

Download or read book Who Gives a Poop? written by Heather L. Montgomery and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2020-10-13 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Follow scientist Heather L. Montgomery into science labs, forests, hospitals, and landfills, as she asks: Who uses poo? Poop is disgusting, but it's also packed with potential. One scientist spent months training a dog to track dung to better understand elephant birthing patterns. Another discovered that mastodon poop years ago is the reason we enjoy pumpkin pie today. And every week, some folks deliver their own poop to medical facilities, where it is swirled, separated, and shipped off to a hospital to be transplanted into another human. There's even a train full of human poop sludge that's stuck without a home in Alabama! This irreverent and engaging narrative nonfiction book shows that poop isn't just waste-and that dealing with it responsibly is our duty.

The George Carlin Letters

Author : Sally Wade
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451611404
Total Pages : 308 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

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Book Synopsis The George Carlin Letters by : Sally Wade

Download or read book The George Carlin Letters written by Sally Wade and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-11-01 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A unique illustrated memoir by Sally Wade, the love of George Carlin’s life for ten years, THE GEORGE CARLIN LETTERS: THE PERMANENT COURTSHIP OF SALLY WADE is a collection of never-before-seen writings and artwork by the late great comedian (representing at least 1/3 of the text in the book), woven into Wade’s beautifully told chronicle of the last ten years of their life together. The book provides a rare glimpse into the man behind the legend. George Carlin wrote to Sally daily—notes, postcard, letters…he even started fights on paper; the title is taken from his very last note, which Sally found propped up on her computer upon returning from the hospital the day he died. One of the greatest love stories ever told…hilariously, until the release of this book, no one but Sally has ever seen this side of George Carlin. And everyone is guaranteed to fall in love with both of them.

A Modern Man

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette UK
ISBN 13 : 0306827107
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (68 download)

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Book Synopsis A Modern Man by : George Carlin

Download or read book A Modern Man written by George Carlin and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A new collection of greatest hits from one of the greatest comedians of our time, George Carlin, now the subject of the HBO documentary George Carlin’s American Dream, directed by Judd Apatow and Michael Bonfiglio George Carlin was: “a true, true artist” (Chris Rock)…”the master” (Jon Stewart)…“one of the Mount Rushmore guys in our profession” (Jerry Seinfeld)…“the comedian’s comedian” (Jay Leno)…“an icon for comedy” (Margaret Cho)…”a deep thinker and a very, very funny man” (Lily Tomlin)…“one of my heroes” (Stephen Colbert)…“brilliant” (Joan Rivers)… You can’t talk about comedy legends without talking George Carlin. Named the greatest standup of all time by XM Radio’s “All Time Comedy Greats” (and #2 by both Comedy Central and Rolling Stone), Carlin garnered multiple gold records, 4 Grammys, 6 Emmy nominations, and the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He was the first host of SNL, appeared on the Tonight Show some 130 times, and acted in beloved films like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Dogma. Dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians,” there was no one like George Carlin. Featuring a foreword by Lewis Black and an introduction by Carlin's longtime best friend and manager, A Modern Man is a perfect introduction for new fans and a must-have for longtime fans, showcasing the longevity, range, and—above all—hilarity of the master. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other delicious verbal ordeals, it is drop-dead funny tour through Carlin’s singular mind. More than ten years after his death, Carlin’s characteristically ironic takes on life's annoying universal truths remain thoughtful, fearless, and somehow more relevant than ever.

A Fraction of the Whole

Author : Steve Toltz
Publisher : Anchor Canada
ISBN 13 : 0307373746
Total Pages : 577 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (73 download)

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Book Synopsis A Fraction of the Whole by : Steve Toltz

Download or read book A Fraction of the Whole written by Steve Toltz and published by Anchor Canada. This book was released on 2010-04-30 with total page 577 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With rights sold around the world, this irreverent comic adventure spanning three continents is poised to be one of the most talked about fiction débuts of the year. A Fraction of the Whole marks the arrival of an ambitious new writer who deftly mixes humour, surprise, and astute observations of the human condition to create a novel that entertains, scandalizes, and enlightens. Martin Dean spent his entire life analyzing absolutely everything – from the benefits of suicide to the virtues of strip clubs versus brothels. Now that he’s dead, his son Jasper can fully reflect on the man who raised him in intellectual captivity. As he recollects the extraordinary events that led to his father’s demise, Jasper recounts a boyhood of outrageous schemes and shocking discoveries – about his infamous and long dead criminal uncle, his tortured and mysteriously absent European mother, and Martin’s constant losing battle to make a lasting impression on the world. It’s a story that takes them from the Australian bush to the cafés of bohemian Paris, from the Thai jungle to labyrinths, mental hospitals, and criminal lairs, from the highs of first love to the lows of rejection and failed ambition. The result is an uproarious indictment of the ridiculousness of the modern world and its mores, and the moving, memorable story of a father and son whose spiritual symmetry transcends all their many shortcomings. I spent the next day staring into empty space. I get a lot of joy out of air, and if sunlight hits the floating specs of dust so you see the whirling dance of atoms, so much the better. During the day, Dad breezed in and out of my room and clicked his tongue, which in our family meant: ‘You’re an idiot.’ In the afternoon, he came back in with a loaded grin. He had a brilliant idea, and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. It had suddenly occurred to him to throw me out of the house, and what did I think of his brainwave? I told him I was concerned about him eating all his meals alone because the clinking of cutlery on a plate echoing through an empty house is one of the top five depressing noises of all time. --from A Fraction of the Whole

This Is a Book

Author : Demetri Martin
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 13 : 160941876X
Total Pages : 261 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (94 download)

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Book Synopsis This Is a Book by : Demetri Martin

Download or read book This Is a Book written by Demetri Martin and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2011-04-25 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the renowned comedian, creator, star and executive producer/multiple title-holder of Comedy Central's Important Things with Demetri Martin comes a bold, original, and rectangular kind of humor book. Demetri's first literary foray features longer-form essays and conceptual pieces (such as Protagonists' Hospital, a melodrama about the clinic doctors who treat only the flesh wounds and minor head scratches of Hollywood action heroes), as well as his trademark charts, doodles, drawings, one-liners, and lists (i.e., the world views of optimists, pessimists and contortionists), Martin's material is varied, but his unique voice and brilliant mind will keep readers in stitches from beginning to end.

The Brain Eaters

Author : Gary Brandner
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1440558450
Total Pages : 100 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (45 download)

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Book Synopsis The Brain Eaters by : Gary Brandner

Download or read book The Brain Eaters written by Gary Brandner and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-09-01 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Milwaukee, a regular at Vic’s Tavern suddenly smashes a beer bottle and carves up the other customers. In Manhattan, an easygoing cabdriver goes berserk and hurls his cab into a crowd of pedestrians. In Seattle, a young bride slashes her husband in a busy restaurant, then flings herself through a plate-glass window. At first, these shocking incidents appear unrelated. Then a disturbing pattern emerges - the agonizing headaches, the violent tantrums, the faces erupting with sickening lesions, then the final, fatal outburst. The epidemic spreads. The nation panics. The Brain Eaters devour America. Their hunger can never be satisfied.

Brain Tips

Author : Dr. Linda Karges-Bone
Publisher : Lorenz Educational Press
ISBN 13 : 0787710784
Total Pages : 88 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (877 download)

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Book Synopsis Brain Tips by : Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

Download or read book Brain Tips written by Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and published by Lorenz Educational Press. This book was released on 2014-09-01 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dr. Bone's Brain Tips is a simple yet sophisticated resource that can help even the busiest teacher incorporate brain-friendly teaching methods into his or her curriculum. These quick and easy research-based tips are divided into eight categories: teacher stress, girl-friendly brain tips, boy-friendly brain tips, the sensory brain, accommodations for differentiation, neuro-architecture, creativity and critical thinking, and parenting with the brain in mind.

It's Not Me It's My Brain

Author : Maria Brayne
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781092229548
Total Pages : 205 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (295 download)

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Book Synopsis It's Not Me It's My Brain by : Maria Brayne

Download or read book It's Not Me It's My Brain written by Maria Brayne and published by . This book was released on 2019-04-03 with total page 205 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We all do silly things in life, some of which we regret. Sometimes we do things and then we wonder what came over us. One minute we are a calm rational adult, then someone looks at us the wrong way, someone tells us off and we are acting out our worst behaviour. Why do we do this? Well usually It is because of our triggers. Those little memories that have been buried so deep that we have forgotten they even exist, until...someone or something triggers us!This book is all about how to heal those triggers, so you can have a peaceful existence and a happy life! Free of drama and conflict. This book will be a life changer. Just read it and see.

Tales from Both Sides of the Brain (Enhanced Edition)

Author : Michael S. Gazzaniga
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062390368
Total Pages : 448 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (623 download)

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Book Synopsis Tales from Both Sides of the Brain (Enhanced Edition) by : Michael S. Gazzaniga

Download or read book Tales from Both Sides of the Brain (Enhanced Edition) written by Michael S. Gazzaniga and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2015-02-24 with total page 448 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With extensive video footage of his trailblazing cognitive experiments, Michael Gazzaniga—the “father of cognitive neuroscience”—illuminates the discoveries behind his groundbreaking work in this enhanced digital edition of Tales from Both Sides of the Brain. Michael S. Gazzaniga, one of the most important neuroscientists of the twentieth century, gives us an exciting behind-the-scenes look at his seminal work on that unlikely couple, the right and left brain. Foreword by Steven Pinker. In the mid-twentieth century, Michael S. Gazzaniga, “the father of cognitive neuroscience,” was part of a team of pioneering neuroscientists who developed the now foundational split-brain brain theory: the notion that the right and left hemispheres of the brain can act independently from one another and have different strengths. In Tales from Both Sides of the Brain, Gazzaniga tells the impassioned story of his life in science and his decades-long journey to understand how the separate spheres of our brains communicate and miscommunicate with their separate agendas. By turns humorous and moving, Tales from Both Sides of the Brain interweaves Gazzaniga’s scientific achievements with his reflections on the challenges and thrills of working as a scientist. In his engaging and accessible style, he paints a vivid portrait not only of his discovery of split-brain theory, but also of his comrades in arms—the many patients, friends, and family who have accompanied him on this wild ride of intellectual discovery.