Youre A Vampire That Sucks

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You're a Vampire - That Sucks!

Author : Domenick Dicce
Publisher : National Geographic Books
ISBN 13 : 0399175881
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (991 download)

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Book Synopsis You're a Vampire - That Sucks! by : Domenick Dicce

Download or read book You're a Vampire - That Sucks! written by Domenick Dicce and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker—tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go. As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, “Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101—such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers—to Vampire Graduate Studies—such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire. This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout.

You're a Vampire - That Sucks!

Author : Domenick Dicce
Publisher : TarcherPerigee
ISBN 13 : 0399175881
Total Pages : 162 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (991 download)

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Book Synopsis You're a Vampire - That Sucks! by : Domenick Dicce

Download or read book You're a Vampire - That Sucks! written by Domenick Dicce and published by TarcherPerigee. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn't the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls. "Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin"--

Vampire Management

Author : Joseph Phillips
Publisher : Instructingcom, LLC
ISBN 13 : 9780983970101
Total Pages : 126 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (71 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampire Management by : Joseph Phillips

Download or read book Vampire Management written by Joseph Phillips and published by Instructingcom, LLC. This book was released on 2011-10 with total page 126 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I'm a vampire and I'm your manager. I'd rather drink your blood than coffee. Your job sucks because you work for me. For years I've owned you, controlled you, and made your life miserable, but not anymore. I'm retiring and I'm sharing some secrets that just might get me killed. I don't care - I'm dead already. Vampires rule over corporate fiefdoms and control workers by the minute. You know you're working for a vampire when your manager doesn't care about your goals, your family life, and the misery you endure just to do your job. If you hate your job because of your manager, your coworkers, or because you can't afford to quit, you're probably working for a vampire. You might dream of breaking free from the corporate graveyard to pursue your life's passion. People warn you not to get your hopes up. To hell with them. Get your hopes up. Try hard and harder. Create goals. If you want to achieve you have to get your hopes up or there's nothing for you to look forward to. If you aren't willing to take a chance, come by my office, bare your neck, and I'll put you out of our misery. Vampire Management: Why Your Job Sucks is a biting look at today's corporate environment and its control of the workforce. Management consultant and author Joseph Phillips explores the dynamics of office life from the viewpoint of a bitter and aging vampire. It's an honest look at why so many workers are unhappy in their careers, feel stuck in a job they hate, and how people can escape from vampire managers. This is a read you can sink your teeth into.

Suck It Up

Author : Brian Meehl
Publisher : Delacorte Press
ISBN 13 : 0375848940
Total Pages : 338 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (758 download)

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Book Synopsis Suck It Up by : Brian Meehl

Download or read book Suck It Up written by Brian Meehl and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2008-05-13 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ARE YOU UP to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories? Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords? Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He’s a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me—this is like no other vampire book you’ll ever feed on. So, as my buddy Morning says, “Pop the lid, and suck it up.”

You Suck LP

Author : Christopher Moore
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0061233153
Total Pages : 385 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (612 download)

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Book Synopsis You Suck LP by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book You Suck LP written by Christopher Moore and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2007-04-24 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Waking up after a fantastic night only to discover that his girlfriend is a vampire and has transformed him into one, C. Thomas Flood adapts to his new powers while dealing with a dangerous faction of bloodsuckers trying to kill off all other vampires.

True Vampires

Author : Sondra London
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 384 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis True Vampires by : Sondra London

Download or read book True Vampires written by Sondra London and published by . This book was released on 2003-10 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ripped from today's headlines and mined from historical records, "Vampires of True Crime" invades the minds of real bloodsucking killers from Romania, Russia France, Wales, Brazil, South Africa, the Kentucky hills, and the streets of Los Angeles.

Sucks to Be Me

Author : Kimberly Pauley
Publisher : Wizards of the Coast
ISBN 13 : 0786955775
Total Pages : 210 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (869 download)

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Book Synopsis Sucks to Be Me by : Kimberly Pauley

Download or read book Sucks to Be Me written by Kimberly Pauley and published by Wizards of the Coast. This book was released on 2010-01-26 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mina Hamilton's parents want her dead. (Or undead to be precise.) They're vampires, and like it or not, Mina must decide whether to become a vampire herself. But Mina's more interested in hanging out with best friend Serena and trying to catch the eye of the too-hot-for-high-school Nathan Able than in the vampire training classes she's being forced to take. How's a girl supposed to find the perfect prom date and pass third-year French when her mom and dad are breathing down her neck--literally?

How to Be A Vampire

Author : Amy Gray
Publisher : Templar Books
ISBN 13 : 9781848771840
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (718 download)

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Book Synopsis How to Be A Vampire by : Amy Gray

Download or read book How to Be A Vampire written by Amy Gray and published by Templar Books. This book was released on 2009-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For those who join the decadent realm of the vampire, eternal life holds juicy perks--charm and strength, shape-shifting and flying, telepathy and super-powered senses. "How to Be a Vampire" is a comprehensive guide to the vampire lifestyle that quenches newcomers' thirst for lore--and tasteful tips. Illustrations.

Vampires Never Get Old

Author : Zoraida Córdova
Publisher : Imprint
ISBN 13 : 1250230004
Total Pages : 320 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (52 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampires Never Get Old by : Zoraida Córdova

Download or read book Vampires Never Get Old written by Zoraida Córdova and published by Imprint. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Boundary-pushing... Stories that stake a new claim on old tropes." —Publishers Weekly, starred review Eleven fresh vampire stories from young adult fiction’s leading voices in this bestselling anthology! In this delicious new collection, you’ll find stories about lurking vampires of social media, rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, eager vampires coming out—and going out for their first kill—and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night. Welcome to the evolution of the vampire—and a revolution on the page. Vampires Never Get Old includes stories by authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley. An Imprint Book "Vampire fans, sink your teeth into this satisfying collection." —Kirkus Reviews

I'm the Vampire, That's Why

Author : Michele Bardsley
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101647582
Total Pages : 299 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis I'm the Vampire, That's Why by : Michele Bardsley

Download or read book I'm the Vampire, That's Why written by Michele Bardsley and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-09-05 with total page 299 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sink your teeth into the first novel in New York Times bestselling author Michele Bardsley's Broken Heart series. Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twenty-something secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world...I’m also a vampire. One minute I was taking out the garbage; the next I awoke sucking on the thigh of superhot vampire Patrick O’Halloran, who’d generously offered his femoral artery to save me. But though my stretch marks have disappeared and my vision has improved, I can’t rest until the thing that did this to me is caught. My kids’ future is at stake—figuratively and literally. As is my sex life. Although I wouldn’t mind finding myself attached to Patrick’s juicy thigh again, I learned that once a vampire does the dirty deed, it hitches her to the object of her affection for at least one hundred years. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment...

Bloodsucking Fiends

Author : Christopher Moore
Publisher : Hachette UK
ISBN 13 : 0748114459
Total Pages : 280 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (481 download)

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Book Synopsis Bloodsucking Fiends by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book Bloodsucking Fiends written by Christopher Moore and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2009-11-05 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realises the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful, undead redhead walks through the door ... and proceeds to rock Tommy's life - and afterlife - in ways he never imagined possible.

Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever.

Author : Caissie St. Onge
Publisher : Ember
ISBN 13 : 0375899766
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (758 download)

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Book Synopsis Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. by : Caissie St. Onge

Download or read book Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. written by Caissie St. Onge and published by Ember. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do? Fans of the Vladmir Tod Chronicles, You are So Undead to Me, and Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side will feast on this deliciously readable, smart, and fantastically funny debut.

Vampire History and Lore

Author : Stuart A. Kallen
Publisher : Capstone
ISBN 13 : 1601522096
Total Pages : 80 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (15 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampire History and Lore by : Stuart A. Kallen

Download or read book Vampire History and Lore written by Stuart A. Kallen and published by Capstone. This book was released on 2011 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Throughout history vampires have been viewed as hideously repellant, strikingly attractive, dangerously evil, and piteously gloomy. This title explores vampire beliefs from the blood sucking beasts of ancient times to the immortal teen heartthrobs of the twenty-first century.

The Bone Palace

Author : Amanda Downum
Publisher : Orbit
ISBN 13 : 031608400X
Total Pages : 276 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis The Bone Palace by : Amanda Downum

Download or read book The Bone Palace written by Amanda Downum and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2010-12-01 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Death is no stranger in the city of Erisén -- but some deaths attract more attention than others. When a prostitute dies carrying a royal signet, Isyllt Iskaldur, necromancer and agent of the Crown, is called to investigate. Her search leads to desecrated tombs below the palace, and the lightless vaults of the vampiric vrykoloi deep beneath the city. But worse things than vampires are plotting in Erisén. . . As a sorcerous plague sweeps the city and demons stalk the streets, Isyllt must decide who she's prepared to betray, before the city built on bones falls into blood and fire.

How to Steal the Mona Lisa

Author : Taylor Bayouth
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0698196716
Total Pages : 224 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (981 download)

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Book Synopsis How to Steal the Mona Lisa by : Taylor Bayouth

Download or read book How to Steal the Mona Lisa written by Taylor Bayouth and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-03-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A step-by-step guide for the craft of high stakes thievery In How to Steal the Mona Lisa, author Taylor Bayouth meticulously describes seven heists of priceless art and artifacts: the Hope Diamond, the "Mona Lisa," the Archaeopteryx Lithographica, Rodin's "Thinker," King Tut's golden death mask, the Crown Jewels, and the Codex Leicester. With this trusty guide, learn to: - Camouflage a getaway car. - Hack security systems. - Navigate air ducts. - Master the art of disguise. - Pick locks, scale buildings, and more. Illustrated throughout, this book contains all the information you need to acquire equipment, recruit partners, strategize the perfect crime, and discreetly sell off your stolen national treasures.

You Suck

Author : Christopher Moore
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780005770696
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (76 download)

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Book Synopsis You Suck by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book You Suck written by Christopher Moore and published by . This book was released on 2007 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Suck It Up and Die

Author : Brian Meehl
Publisher : Ember
ISBN 13 : 0385739125
Total Pages : 418 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (857 download)

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Book Synopsis Suck It Up and Die by : Brian Meehl

Download or read book Suck It Up and Die written by Brian Meehl and published by Ember. This book was released on 2013-08-06 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On the first anniversary of the historic day in which the vampires of America began going mainstream, the tension between vampire hero Morning's wish for a simple life and his mortal girlfriend Portia's obsession with documenting history escalates when a sinister vampire rises from the grave with a powerful thirst for revenge.