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Yiddish With Dick And Jane
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Book Synopsis Yiddish with Dick and Jane by : Ellis Weiner
Download or read book Yiddish with Dick and Jane written by Ellis Weiner and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2007-07-31 with total page 42 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jane is in real estate. Today is Saturday. Jane has an open house. She must schlep the Open House signs to the car. See Jane schlep. Schlep, Jane. Schlep. Schlep, schlep, schlep. In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane -- hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read -- manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude -- part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.
Book Synopsis Yiddish with George and Laura by : Barbara Davilman
Download or read book Yiddish with George and Laura written by Barbara Davilman and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2008-11-15 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e., reality). That's the premise of this hilarious new primer-style book in which George, Laura, and the entire Bush family communicate with uncharacteristic expressiveness, conveying shades of of feeling and nuances of meaning that plain old English can't deliver -- by peppering their conversatuon with Yiddishisms. See George's mother. Her name is Bar. She wears a lot of pearls and is a farbisseneh. "You are late, George," Bar says. "Of course I am late," George says. "I am the President of the United States. I am a big macher." Like all good primers, Yiddish with George and Laura tells a simple story -- and, in the end, important life lessons are imparted.
Book Synopsis How to Raise a Jewish Dog by : Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary
Download or read book How to Raise a Jewish Dog written by Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2007-09-05 with total page 121 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.
Book Synopsis My First Yiddish Word Book by : Joni Sussman
Download or read book My First Yiddish Word Book written by Joni Sussman and published by Kar-Ben. This book was released on 2009-01-01 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you know that Yiddish is written in Hebrew letters but pronounced more like German' Introduce your kids to their mama loshen (mother tongue) and open the door to their cultural heritage! The basic Yiddish vocabulary includes more than 150 words for family members, objects in the home and school, colors and numbers. Each concept is presented with a bright picture, the Yiddish word, and the translation and transliteration. The once-thriving language, spoken by millions, is undergoing a revival, and kids will enjoy learning to speak the colorful tongue.
Download or read book Yiddish Wisdom written by Chronicle Books and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2013-02-19 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Decade after decade, Yiddish proverbs continue to capture the humor, warmth, and traditions of Jewish life. Now, the beloved Yiddish Wisdom (more than 100,000 copies sold) has been expanded with even more proverbs and fresh illustrations to be cherished by a new generation. With more than 150 folk sayings translated in Yiddish and English—from the whimsical and witty (Dress up a broom and it will also look nice/Az men batziert a bezem iz er oich shain) to the poignant (When one must, one can/Az me muz, ken men) and practical (When you look to the heights, hold on to your hat/Az du kukst oif hoicheh zachen, halt tsu dos hitl)—this treasured volume is the perfect gift for any celebration.
Book Synopsis The Big Jewish Book for Jews by : Ellis Weiner
Download or read book The Big Jewish Book for Jews written by Ellis Weiner and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-07-27 with total page 277 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious compendium of traditional wisdom, recipes, and lore from the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane. Modern Jews have forgotten cherished traditions and become, sadly, all- too assimilated. It's enough to make you meshugeneh. Today's Jews need to relearn the old ways so that cultural identity means something other than laughing knowingly at Curb Your Enthusiasm- and The Big Jewish Book for Jews is here to help. This wise and wise-cracking fully-illustrated book offers invaluable instruction on everything from how to sacrifice a lamb unto the lord to the rules of Mahjong. Jews of all ages and backgrounds will welcome the opportunity to be the Jewiest Jew of all, and reconnect to ancestors going all the way back to Moses and a time when God was the only GPS a Jew needed.
Download or read book Yiddish for Dogs written by Janet Perr and published by Hyperion. This book was released on 2007-09-18 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is your dog a shmendrick A putz Oroy veya goniff There is only one way to find out, so nu, dive in to Yiddish for Dogs. This alphabetical handbook of Yiddish words features adorable and hilarious pictures of irresistible pooches. These dogs embody the meaning of well-known words such as kibbitz, tsuris, feh!, shlep, chutzpah, and many more. But thats not all. Consider yourself warned. Once the Yiddish comes out, these dogs have much to say. These dogs kvell. They go through the dreck. They recognize a mensch. They appreciate a nosh. And, believe it or not, they know youre mishuggeh. So the next time your canine friend does a flying leap into your lap, instead of exclaiming, What a klutz!, ask yourself Does my dog want to kibbitz Written and illustrated by award-winning art director and graphic designer Janet Perr, Yiddish for Dogs will have you howling with laughter.
Book Synopsis Jewish as a Second Language by : Molly Katz
Download or read book Jewish as a Second Language written by Molly Katz and published by Workman Publishing. This book was released on 2010-01-01 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this completely revised, updated, and expanded second edition of "Jewish as a Second Language," Katz shows how to worry, interrupt, and say the opposite of what one means.
Book Synopsis My Little Occult Book Club by : Steven Rhodes
Download or read book My Little Occult Book Club written by Steven Rhodes and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2020-08-25 with total page 82 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My Little Occult Book Club is a hilarious collection of Steven Rhodes' parody book covers for the aspiring occultist, exorcist, necromancer, and more, illustrated in his fan-favorite artistic twist on retro '70s and '80s children's books. The humorous fake titles include Sell Your Soul! (Economics for Children), Necromancy for Beginners, and Caring for Your Demon Cat, and much more. • Written in a playful voice that parodies subscription book catalogs • Features fun puzzles and activities • Funny fake mail order offers for gifts such as "Cursed Videocassette" Whether you're looking for a health guide for your changing werewolf body or a simple introduction to alien abduction, this silly and twisted read features a wide selection of books for any occult need. For fans of dark humor, nostalgic horror, and vintage books alike, don't wait—order today! • Perfect book for fans of Stranger Things, IT, and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina • You'll love this book if you love books like Yiddish with Dick and Jane by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman and My Best Friend's Exorcism: A Novel by Grady Hendrix
Book Synopsis The Templeton Twins Have an Idea by : Ellis Weiner
Download or read book The Templeton Twins Have an Idea written by Ellis Weiner and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-08-03 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This special edition of The Templeton Twins Have an Idea: Book One also includes a sneak preview of The Templeton Twins Make a Scene: Book Two and a Q&A with the author. Suppose there were 12-year-old twins, a boy and girl named John and Abigail Templeton. Let's say John was pragmatic and played the drums, and Abigail was theoretical and solved cryptic crosswords. Now suppose their father was a brilliant, if sometimes confused, inventor. And suppose that another set of twins—adults—named Dean D. Dean and Dan D. Dean, kidnapped the Templeton twins and their ridiculous dog in order to get their father to turn over one of his genius (sort of) inventions. Yes, I said kidnapped. Wouldn't it be fun to read about that? Oh please. It would so. Luckily for you, this is just the first in a series perfect for boys and girls who are smart, clever, and funny (just like the twins), and enjoy reading adventurous stories (who doesn't?!).
Book Synopsis If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish by : Lita Epstein
Download or read book If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish written by Lita Epstein and published by Citadel Press. This book was released on 2018-10-30 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You don’t have to be Jewish to get back at the shmendriks* of the world Yiddish. It’s the most colorful language in the history of mankind. What other language gives you a whole dictionary of ways to tell someone to drop dead? That schmuck who got promoted over you? Meigulgl zol er vern in a henglaykhter, by tog zol er hengen, un by nakht zol er brenen. (He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.) That soccer mom kibitzing on her cell phone and tying up traffic? Shteyner zol zi hobn, nit keyn kinder. (She should have stones and not children.) If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish is the perfect glossary of Yiddish insults and curses, from the short and sweet to the whole megillah (Khasene hobn zol er mit di malekh hamoves tokhter: He should marry the daughter of the Angel of Death.) Complete with hundreds of the most creative insults for the putzes** and kvetchers *** of the world, this is an indispensable guide for Jews and Gentiles alike. When it comes to cursing someone who sorely needs it, may you never be at a loss for words again. *Idiots **More idiots ***Complainer; a pain in the tuchas**** **** One’s rear end
Download or read book Dirty Yiddish written by Adrienne Gusoff and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 185 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Next time you’re chattin’ with your khaverim (friends) and mishpukheh (family), bust out some Yiddish expressions that’ll liven up the conversation. Nothing is censored in Dirty Yiddish. It includes phrases for any situation, so readers have enough chutzpah (balls) to tell the local deli that they’ve waited long enough for their knish, and explicit swear words crude enough to shock Bubby and everyone else at the Passover seder. There’s even vulgar sex terminology so graphic it puts the outspoken Lower East Side princesses to shame. Bust out with expressions they never teach you in school, including cool slang, funny insults, explicit sex terms, and raw swear words. Dirty Yiddish teaches the casual expressions heard every day on the streets of New York . . . What’s up? Vos makhst du? Crazy bastard! Meshuggeneh momzer! I’m hammered. Ikh bin fershikkert. Don’t fuck with me! Bareh mikh nit! I have the shits. Ikh hob a shittern mogn. Lick my pussy. Lekh meyn lokh. Was it good for you? Tsufreedn?
Book Synopsis Monsters of the Ivy League by : Steve Radlauer
Download or read book Monsters of the Ivy League written by Steve Radlauer and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2017-04-11 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: First stop: Harvard or Yale or Princeton or... Next stop: Wall Street riches...house on the Vineyard...vineyard with a house...a Nobel Prize... Not so fast. Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League-universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education-have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate? Whether you're a high school student grinding away in the hope of gaining admission to one of these institutions, a parent propelling a child toward Ivy glory, a current Ivy League undergraduate wondering "What the hell is this place?"-or even an Ivy League alum, professor, administrator, or dropout-this book was written specifically for you. As a warning. Because there are certain things-monstrous things-that go unmentioned in the catalog, campus tour, or employment package. And if your Ivy League application was rejected, here's compelling and consoling evidence of how lucky you are.
Download or read book Born to Kvetch written by Michael Wex and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As the main spoken language of the Jews for more than a thousand years, Yiddish has had plenty to lament, plenty to conceal. Its phrases, idioms, and expressions paint a comprehensive picture of the mind-set that enabled the Jews of Europe to survive a millennium of unrelenting persecution: they never stopped kvetching---about God, gentiles, children, food, and everything (and anything) else. They even learned how to smile through their kvetching and express satisfaction in the form of complaint. In Born to Kvetch, Michael Wex looks at the ingredients that went into this buffet of disenchantment and examines how they were mixed together to produce an almost limitless supply of striking idioms and withering curses (which get a chapter all to themselves). Born to Kvetch includes a wealth of material that's never appeared in English before. You'll find information on the Yiddish relationship to food, nature, divinity, and humanity. There's even a chapter about sex. This is no bobe mayse (cock-and-bull story) from a khokhem be-layle (idiot, literally a "sage at night" when no one's looking), but a serious yet fun and funny look at a language that both shaped and was shaped by those who spoke it. From tukhes to goy,meshugener to kvetch, Yiddish words have permeated and transformed English as well. Through the idioms, phrases, metaphors, and fascinating history of this kvetch-full tongue, Michael Wex gives us a moving and inspiring portrait of a people, and a language, in exile.
Book Synopsis Old Jews Telling Jokes by : Sam Hoffman
Download or read book Old Jews Telling Jokes written by Sam Hoffman and published by Metro Publishing. This book was released on 2012-10 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, 'You know we have a drink named after you?' The grasshopper replies, 'You have a drink named Stanley?' Just one of the gags in this book, many of which explore Jewish themes.
Book Synopsis The Cambridge History of Jewish American Literature by : Hana Wirth-Nesher
Download or read book The Cambridge History of Jewish American Literature written by Hana Wirth-Nesher and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 2015-12-09 with total page 1254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This History offers an unparalleled examination of all aspects of Jewish American literature. Jewish writing has played a central role in the formation of the national literature of the United States, from the Hebraic sources of the Puritan imagination to narratives of immigration and acculturation. This body of writing has also enriched global Jewish literature in its engagement with Jewish history and Jewish multilingual culture. Written by a host of leading scholars, The Cambridge History of Jewish American Literature offers an array of approaches that contribute to current debates about ethnic writing, minority discourse, transnational literature, gender studies, and multilingualism. This History takes a fresh look at celebrated authors, introduces new voices, locates Jewish American literature on the map of American ethnicity as well as the spaces of exile and diaspora, and stretches the boundaries of American literature beyond the Americas and the West.
Download or read book Jewtopia written by Bryan Fogel and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2013-09-10 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finally, the ultimate book of Jewish humor is here, complete with Jewish nursery blueprints (which includes a panic room, fireproof wallpaper, and a guardian ninja, of course), the top-ten list of Jewish 'dont's', the complete timeline of Jewish expulsion, and much, much more. Before creating Jewtopia the play in 2003, Bryan Fogel and Sam Wolfson were unemployed actors and writers who couldn't get a break. Taking matters into their own hands, they wrote a play, maxed out their credit cards, and mounted the production themselves. Jewtopia went on to become the longest-running original theatrical comedy in Los Angeles history. The show moved to off-Broadway in October 2004 and, as of the publication of this book, still plays nightly to sold-out audiences, with productions opening all over the world. Now, for the first time in this book, Fogel and Wolfson are bringing their theatrical work to the comfort of your home.
