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The Morbidly Obese Ninja
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Book Synopsis The Morbidly Obese Ninja by : Carlton Mellick III
Download or read book The Morbidly Obese Ninja written by Carlton Mellick III and published by . This book was released on 2011-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Neo Tokyo, California is a city built so high that none of its residents have ever seen the ground. It is a place where citizens cosmetically alter their bodies to look like Japanese anime characters. It is a place where ninja battles determine the fate of corporate business ventures. It is the home of Basu-- a 700 pound killing machine who uses his grotesque excess weight as a deadly weapon.
Book Synopsis Key Concepts in Contemporary Popular Fiction by : Bernice M. Murphy
Download or read book Key Concepts in Contemporary Popular Fiction written by Bernice M. Murphy and published by Edinburgh University Press. This book was released on 2017-03-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Key Concepts in Contemporary Popular Fiction represents an invaluable starting point for students wishing to familiarise themselves with this exciting and rapidly evolving area of literary studies. It provides an accessible, concise and reliable overview of core critical terminology, key theoretical approaches, and the major genres and sub-genres within popular fiction. Because popular fiction is significantly shaped by commercial forces, the book also provides critical and historical contexts for terminology related to e-books, e-publishing, and self-publishing platforms. By using focusing in particular on post-2000 trends in popular fiction, the book provides a truly up-to-date snapshot of the subject area and its critical contexts.
Book Synopsis Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook by : Douglas Sarine
Download or read book Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook written by Douglas Sarine and published by Crown. This book was released on 2008-09-09 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: DEADLY NINJA WISDOM FOR THE NON-NINJA Carefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path. After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja. Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been. For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as: •How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan •The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin •Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet •Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab •How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy •Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks •How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage •What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode •Death Aide certification •And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page! Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.
Download or read book War Slut written by Carlton Mellick and published by . This book was released on 2006-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Five exhausted soldiers are sitting in the middle of a frozen Arctic wasteland, waiting for something to happen. They don't know why they are there or what they are supposed to be doing. Their superior officers have stopped giving them orders, their food supply is running low, and they are unsure whether or not their enemy actually exists at all. Once they lose their war slut (a transmorphing sex cyborg), the soldiers leave the safety of their camp in order to get it back. Only what they find out in the dark icy landscape is something far beyond what they ever could have imagined"--Page 4 of cover.
Book Synopsis Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition) by : Carlton Mellick III
Download or read book Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition) written by Carlton Mellick III and published by Eraserhead Press. This book was released on 2016-07-01 with total page 296 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
Book Synopsis The Voice of the Butterfly by : John Nichols
Download or read book The Voice of the Butterfly written by John Nichols and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2003-02 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A dazzling, darkly comic novel by the author of "The Sterile Cuckoo, The Voice of the Butterfly" looks at chaotic relationships fraught with conservation efforts. Funny and touching, Nichols's novel is a wild ride through the lunacies of the postmodern age.
Download or read book Apeshit written by Carlton Mellick Iii and published by . This book was released on 2013-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.
Download or read book Ninja written by Eric Van Lustbader and published by . This book was released on 2000 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Shatnerquake written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 83 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.
Book Synopsis The Haunted Vagina by : Carlton Mellick
Download or read book The Haunted Vagina written by Carlton Mellick and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.
Download or read book Christian Bale written by Harrison Cheung and published by BenBella Books. This book was released on 2012-05-29 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The darkest Batman is unmasked. During the London press junket for The Dark Knight in the summer of 2008, Christian Bale was infamously accused of assaulting his mother and sister at the five-star Dorchester Hotel. Six months later, a recording of Bale's rant on the set of Terminator Salvation was leaked, and the star's anger began to define him. But beyond his notorious temper, Bale, an Academy Award-winning actor for his role in The Fighter, is known for his ability to physically transform himself for roles in American Psycho, The Machinist, and as one of Hollywood's most revered and bankable characters—Batman. In Christian Bale: The Inside Story of the Darkest Batman, Best Biography winner in the 2013 Indie Excellence Awards and finalist in the 2013 Indie Book Awards, a 2013 Indie Book Awards Finalist for Best Biography, Bale's former publicist and assistant Harrison Cheung—his real-life Alfred—shares an inside look into the little-known personal life of the intensely private and reclusive actor. In the first biography of the Batman star, Cheung, who lived and worked with Christian and his father for 10 years, shares firsthand accounts of the Bales' familial dysfunction, Christian's morbid fascinations and dark humor, and his extreme dedication to his craft. Aware that Bale hated his traditional publicity duties, Cheung launched an extensive Internet marketing campaign for the actor, built the first official actor website for him, and cultivated the Baleheads, an online fan community that was used to garner editorial coverage and ultimately help Bale secure the role of the Caped Crusader. Written with veteran Hollywood and entertainment reporter Nicola Pittam, Christian Bale: The Inside Story of the Darkest Batman uncovers Bale's transformation from shy, English child actor to Internet sensation to Hollywood bad boy. *FOR DISTRIBUTION IN THE U.S. AND CANADA ONLY*
Book Synopsis Tumor Fruit by : Carlton III Mellick
Download or read book Tumor Fruit written by Carlton III Mellick and published by . This book was released on 2012-08 with total page 310 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Eight desperate castaways find themselves stranded on a mysterious deserted island. They are surrounded by poisonous blue plants and an ocean made of acid. Ravenous creatures lurk in the toxic jungle. The ghostly sound of crying babies can be heard on the wind. Once they realize the rescue ships aren't coming, the eight castaways must band together in order to survive in this inhospitable environment. But survival might not be possible. The air they breathe is lethal, there is no shelter from the elements, and the only food they have to consume is the colorful squid-shaped tumors that grow from a mentally disturbed woman's body."--Page 4 of cover.
Book Synopsis The Cult of Smart by : Fredrik deBoer
Download or read book The Cult of Smart written by Fredrik deBoer and published by All Points Books. This book was released on 2020-08-04 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Named one of Vulture’s Top 10 Best Books of 2020! Leftist firebrand Fredrik deBoer exposes the lie at the heart of our educational system and demands top-to-bottom reform. Everyone agrees that education is the key to creating a more just and equal world, and that our schools are broken and failing. Proposed reforms variously target incompetent teachers, corrupt union practices, or outdated curricula, but no one acknowledges a scientifically-proven fact that we all understand intuitively: Academic potential varies between individuals, and cannot be dramatically improved. In The Cult of Smart, educator and outspoken leftist Fredrik deBoer exposes this omission as the central flaw of our entire society, which has created and perpetuated an unjust class structure based on intellectual ability. Since cognitive talent varies from person to person, our education system can never create equal opportunity for all. Instead, it teaches our children that hierarchy and competition are natural, and that human value should be based on intelligence. These ideas are counter to everything that the left believes, but until they acknowledge the existence of individual cognitive differences, progressives remain complicit in keeping the status quo in place. This passionate, voice-driven manifesto demands that we embrace a new goal for education: equality of outcomes. We must create a world that has a place for everyone, not just the academically talented. But we’ll never achieve this dream until the Cult of Smart is destroyed.
Book Synopsis Christmas on Crack by : Carlton Mellick Iii
Download or read book Christmas on Crack written by Carlton Mellick Iii and published by . This book was released on 2010-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's the dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass!
Download or read book Noxious written by Cori Nevruz and published by 5310 Publishing. This book was released on 2024-08-06 with total page 231 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finally free of her mother’s controlling ways, Natalia, a quirky misfit, heads to New York City after learning her family’s darkest secret—Daniel, a stepbrother previously unknown to her. With her desire to be loved and accepted by someone for the first time, Natalia pretends to be the person her half-brother expects. However, behind his back, Natalia is someone completely different. Natalia works for Stuart, a powerful and eccentric corporate executive, eliminating costly retired pension recipients one by one. Not completely without emotion or a moral compass, Natalia tries to find annoying habits or irritating personality traits to justify her doings. Getting better at what she does, with good reason and even better pay in hand, she makes each hit look like natural causes. But after spending more time with Stuart, his wife, and a new love interest, the innocent facade she presents to Daniel begins to crack and her true colors start to slip through. With Daniel’s suspicion growing, Natalia finds herself at a crossroads: either conform to Daniel's expectations or embrace her true identity.
Download or read book CMJ New Music Report written by and published by . This book was released on 2003-09-01 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: CMJ New Music Report is the primary source for exclusive charts of non-commercial and college radio airplay and independent and trend-forward retail sales. CMJ's trade publication, compiles playlists for college and non-commercial stations; often a prelude to larger success.
Download or read book Ninjas for Beginners written by Mike Fury and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-02-10 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover All The Secrets of A Ninja in Just 10 Days BONUS - Get Your Free 10,000 Word Report on 55 Power Habits Ninjas are the epitamy of cool awesomeness. Most of us have wanted to be a ninja all of our lives! In all actuallity, we all have been training to be ninjas since we were kids. Whether you were silently stealing cookies from the kitchen, or sneaking out of your bedroom to meet friends, you were unknowingly training to be a super awesome ninja! If you have a problem you can learn how to take care of it by actually becoming a real life ninja. Take those skills you honed from childhood and apply them toward becoming a ninja. Is your brother-in-law a bullying meathead? Is your supervisor a deluxe bullying meathead filled to the brim with protein powder? Would you like to slip away from your desk undetected for a longer lunch break? You can do all of these things right now. Cease the day and learn to be a ninja! You think you are too old? Pish-posh, your never too old! With this book you can learn all of the secrets of the ninja. After you read this book you will be a certified ninja with all of the skills and training you will need to apply sneezing powder to you meathead supervisors keyboard undetected. You can then sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. With this book you too can learn too can learn to be a super bad ass, awesome sauce ninja in just 5 easy to understand chapters: 1. Learn all about ninja history. Yes, it's improtant! 2. Learn how to dress like a real life ninja. 3. Learn to think like a ninja and live the lifestyle of the ninja. Become one with the ninja way. 4. Learn ninjutsu, the art of being a ninja. Learn techniques like how to look like a rock to making smokebombs to help with your stealthy escape. 5. Weapons, lots and lots of ninja weapons. Want to Know More? Download the Book Today Just Scroll to the top of the page and select the Buy Button. ----- TAGS: ninjas for beginners, ninja, ninja guide, ninja history, ninjutsu, kung fu, karate
