My Gay Geek Love Affair Bundle

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Author :
Publisher : Tabatha Christi
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 164 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis My Gay Geek Love Affair Bundle by : Tabatha Christi

Download or read book My Gay Geek Love Affair Bundle written by Tabatha Christi and published by Tabatha Christi. This book was released on 2016-09-04 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

My Gay Geek Crush (Jock and Nerd Romance)

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Author :
Publisher : Tabatha Christi
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 61 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis My Gay Geek Crush (Jock and Nerd Romance) by : Tabatha Christi

Download or read book My Gay Geek Crush (Jock and Nerd Romance) written by Tabatha Christi and published by Tabatha Christi. This book was released on 2015-07-18 with total page 61 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Genre: Jock and Nerd / First Time Gay Experiences Campus geek Clark has a mad crush on star baseball player Trent. It’s hopeless, because Trent is straight... but Clark still takes every chance he can to spend time with his friend. When Trent wants to improve his hitting, Clark invents an algorithm and robot coaching arm to help him out. But then someone steals Clark’s laptop and outs his crush to the whole campus. Will it spell the end of their friendship, or will Trent surprise everyone -- including himself? This 10,000 word straight to gay storycontains detailed explicit descriptions of robotics workshop sex between a lab geek and baseball jock. Includes oral and anal situations with a newly gay baseball star dominating his lean and hard math nerd friend. It's intended for the enjoyment of those who love first time gay stories with sweetness and romance. Note: Title changed from The Geek and Newly Gay Jock.

Damien the Towel Boy - A Sexy Gay M/M Jock Short Story from Steam Books

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Author :
Publisher : Steam Books
ISBN 13 : 1634573595
Total Pages : 41 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (345 download)

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Book Synopsis Damien the Towel Boy - A Sexy Gay M/M Jock Short Story from Steam Books by : Corey Stark

Download or read book Damien the Towel Boy - A Sexy Gay M/M Jock Short Story from Steam Books written by Corey Stark and published by Steam Books. This book was released on with total page 41 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There isn't much glory in being the towel boy and all-around assistant for the school's swim team, but Damien doesn't mind. One of the guys, Alex, treats Damien with increasing affection, which is all the motivation Damien needs to continue being at the team's beck and call. One night, Damien gets a call from Alex, asking him to give another member of the team a ride home: the drunk, obnoxious, and meaty Matthew. Damien obliges, but he doesn't realize his night is just beginning. WARNING: This 6,194-word (about 31 pages) short story is a steamy read that features explicit content including gay sex and romance, oral sex, masturbation, rimming, anal sex, and may be too much for timid readers! -- JOCK HIGH SCHOOL -- Most every high school has jocks, but only through Corey Stark's JOCK HIGH SCHOOL anthology series can you experience first-hand the kind of sexually-charged passion possible only between athletic young seniors bursting into adulthood for the first time.

Out of Character

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Author :
Publisher : Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN 13 : 172822604X
Total Pages : 276 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (282 download)

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Book Synopsis Out of Character by : Annabeth Albert

Download or read book Out of Character written by Annabeth Albert and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2021-07-06 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers in this LGBTQIA+ Romance for fans of Red, White & Royal Blue and The Pros of Cons who enjoy: Ex-best-friends falling in love Gaming, conventions, fandom & cosplay Nerd culture at its finest Learning how to be true to yourself Jasper Quigley is tired of being everyone's favorite sidekick. He wants to become the hero of his own life, but that's not going to happen if he agrees to help out his former best friend turned king of the jocks, Milo Lionetti. High school was miserable enough, thanks, and Jasper has no interest in dredging up painful memories of his old secret crush. But Milo's got nowhere else to go. His life is spiraling out of control and he's looking to turn things back around. Step one? Replace the rare Odyssey cards he lost in an idiotic bet. Step two? Tell his ex-best-friend exactly how he feels—how he's always felt. Jasper may be reluctant to reopen old wounds, but he never could resist Milo. There's a catch, though: if Milo wants his help, he's going to have to pitch in to make the upcoming children's hospital charity ball the best ever. But as the two don cosplay for the kids and hunt for rare cards, nostalgia for their lost friendship may turn into something even more lasting... Praise for Conventionally Yours: "Fast, funny, and fantastic."—Eoin Colfer, New York Times bestselling author "Uniquely quirky."—Carrie Ryan, New York Times and USA Today bestelling author "You will ship this couple."—Sarina Bowen, USA Today bestselling author

Cinderella Boy

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Author :
Publisher : Riptide Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1626497982
Total Pages : 347 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (264 download)

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Book Synopsis Cinderella Boy by : Kristina Meister

Download or read book Cinderella Boy written by Kristina Meister and published by Riptide Publishing. This book was released on 2018-07-02 with total page 347 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being perfect isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sixteen-year-old Declan is the perfect son . . . except for one tiny issue. When his sister Delia comes home to find him trying on her clothes, he fears her judgment, but she only fears his fashion choices. One quick makeover later, Declan is transformed into Delia's mysterious cousin Layla and dragged to the party of the year, hosted by Carter, the most popular boy in school. When Carter meets Layla, he fumbles to charm her. He adores her sense of humor and her poise. But when she vanishes in the middle of the night, he's left confused and determined to solve the mystery of who she is. As their school year begins, their high school embraces a policy of intolerance, and both Declan and Carter know they must stand up. Carter is tired of being a coward and wants to prove he can be a knight in shining armor. Declan is sick of being bullied and wants desperately to be himself. If they team up, it could be a fairy-tale ending, or a very unhappy ever after.

Top Secret

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Author :
Publisher : Elle Kennedy Inc.
ISBN 13 : 1942444796
Total Pages : 317 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (424 download)

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Book Synopsis Top Secret by : Elle Kennedy

Download or read book Top Secret written by Elle Kennedy and published by Elle Kennedy Inc. . This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 317 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling authors Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy return with their first Male / Male romance in 3 years. LobsterShorts, 21 Jock. Secretly a science geek. Hot AF. LobsterShorts: So. Here goes. For her birthday, my girlfriend wants…a threesome. SinnerThree: Then you’ve come to the right hookup app. LobsterShorts: Have you done this sort of thing before? With another guy? SinnerThree: All the time. I’m an equal opportunity player. You? LobsterShorts: [crickets!] SinnerThree, 21 Finance major. Secretly a male dancer. Hot AF. SinnerThree: Well, I’m down if you are. My life is kind of a mess right now. School, work, family stress. Oh, and I live next door to the most annoying dude in the world. I need the distraction. Are you sure you want this? LobsterShorts: I might want it a little more than I’m willing to admit. SinnerThree: Hey, nothing wrong with pushing your boundaries... LobsterShorts: Tell that to my control-freak father. Anyway. What if this threesome is awkward? SinnerThree: Then it’s awkward. It’s not like we’ll ever have to see each other again. Right? Just promise you won’t fall in love with me. LobsterShorts: Now wouldn’t that be life-changing... Q&A about Top Secret: Q: Have we met these characters before in another book? A: No! These guys are brand new, and we can’t wait for you to meet them. Q: Is this story MM? Or is it a MMF / MFM / menage? A: This book is MM. Q: Is this a love triangle story? A: Not really. You’ll see. “Bowen and Kennedy serve up a dish of dirty, delicious frat boy goodness, with so much depth and talent that there’s no putting this book down.” USA Today Bestselling Author Sierra Simone "Addictive. Wildly sexy. Completely heartfelt. In short, Top Secret is everything you could want from a Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy romance." #1 New York Times bestselling author Lauren Blakely "Sarina and Elle do not disappoint with this page turner! The enemies to lovers romance sizzles with just the right amount of sweet thrown in." Jeff Adams, Big Gay Fiction Podcast “No matter how bad a book funk I’m in, I can count on Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen to pull me out with a fun, witty, sexy read. I devoured this one in one night!” USA Today bestselling author K.A. Tucker When Elle and Sarina write together, they create nothing short of magic! 5 lobster shorts stars! USA Today bestselling author Tillie Cole For fans of: Annabeth Albert, Casey McQuiston, Ella Frank, Kiera Andrews, Karen Stivali, Amy Jo Cousins, Kindle Alexander, Layla Reyne, Damon Suede, Amy Lane, Vi Keeland, Lauren Blakely, Sierra Simone, Jana Aston, Kendall Ryan, Alexa Riley, Jay Bell, Trina Solet, Reya Karl, Dawn Wilder, Eden Cole, SE Loveless, Van Barrett, JM Synder, Max Rose, Quinn Michaels, Elle Keaton, H G Ellis, Jane Asherwood, Keywords: gay romance, mm romance, m/m romance, bisexual romance, college romance, football romance, hate to love, enemies to lovers, fraternity brothers, male male, sports romance, billionaire, gay, secret lovers, forbidden romance.

Frat Boy and Toppy

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781937551308
Total Pages : 188 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (513 download)

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Book Synopsis Frat Boy and Toppy by : Anne Tenino

Download or read book Frat Boy and Toppy written by Anne Tenino and published by . This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sebastian does more than notice Brad; he takes him to bed. Brad's been with plenty of girls, but with Sebastian, the sex is something else entirelyNhot, mind-blowing, affirming, and a little domineering in a way that drives him wild. But when great sex turns into something more, Brad must face the crushing realization that Sebastian doesn't feel the same. Unless, of course, he does. After all, even grad students can be idiots about matters of the heart.

Co-WRECKER

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Author :
Publisher : Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN 13 : 9781544743059
Total Pages : 368 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (43 download)

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Book Synopsis Co-WRECKER by : Meghan Quinn

Download or read book Co-WRECKER written by Meghan Quinn and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-03-17 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do ice cream and Sadie Montgomery have in common? They're both ice cold, but one taste is never enough.I wanted to be friends - I would have even settled for her seeing me as anything but a nerd - but there was no getting through. So just like any hard-headed, red-blooded man out there, I made up my mind.I'd make my coworker fall for me.I'd like to say it was simple, but like every other epic love story, all it took was one drunken night and a lot of naked courage to get the girl. For a moment, at least.Love with a coworker is never simple, especially since Sadie's trying to keep us on the low. Not to mention her persistent ex-boyfriend who won't leave her alone. But I've never been good at giving up, and I don't plan to start now.The whole thing is a recipe for a rocky road, but I plan to eat the whole gallon, no matter how bad the brain freeze.

Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 122 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (314 download)

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Book Synopsis Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts by : Charlie Cochet

Download or read book Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts written by Charlie Cochet and published by . This book was released on 2020-04-07 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Julian "Quinn" Quintero, a gruff, tough Miami SWAT officer, has been injured on the job, and all he's looking for is a little peace and quiet to recover-difficult to achieve with his large Cuban family. An adventure in picking up his prescriptions puts him in the path of his geeky, brownie-baking neighbor, Spencer Morgan. Spencer sweeps into Quinn's life like a tropical storm of sunshine and rainbows. Not surprisingly, it's chaos at first sight. Quinn's in need of a little tender loving care, and Spencer decides he's just the man for the job. Their very different lives might clash, but they might also find some common ground-and maybe more.

Practice Makes Perfect

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Author :
Publisher : Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN 13 : 9781534770461
Total Pages : 226 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (74 download)

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Book Synopsis Practice Makes Perfect by : Jay Northcote

Download or read book Practice Makes Perfect written by Jay Northcote and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-06-25 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Getting experience with the guy next door seems like a great idea-until the lines blur. Dev, a geeky first year physics student, has zero sexual experience and he's determined to change that ASAP. After a bad time in halls of residence, he's starting the summer term with different housemates and a new plan of action. Ewan lives in the house next door to Dev. He's young, free and single, and isn't looking to change that anytime soon. When awkward circumstances throw them together, Ewan offers to help Dev out in the bedroom in return for maths tutoring, and Dev jumps at the chance. They work their way through Dev's sex-to-do list, but what starts as a perfect no-strings arrangement gets more complicated as their feelings for each other begin to grow. If they're going to turn their lessons in lovemaking into something more permanent, they need to work out how they feel about each other-before they get to the end of Dev's list.

I Only Have Eyes for You: The Sullivans, Book 4

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Author :
Publisher : Oak Press, LLC
ISBN 13 : 193812717X
Total Pages : 143 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (381 download)

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Book Synopsis I Only Have Eyes for You: The Sullivans, Book 4 by : Bella Andre

Download or read book I Only Have Eyes for You: The Sullivans, Book 4 written by Bella Andre and published by Oak Press, LLC. This book was released on 2014-01-01 with total page 143 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Get ready for another Sullivan to fall in love in Bella Andre's bestselling contemporary romance series! Sophie Sullivan, a librarian in San Francisco, was five years old when she fell head over heels in love with Jake McCann. Twenty years later, she's convinced the notorious bad boy still sees her as the ""nice"" Sullivan twin. That is, when he bothers to look at her at all. But when they both get caught up in the magic of the first Sullivan wedding, she knows it's long past time to do whatever it takes to make him see her for who she truly is...the woman who will love him forever. Jake has always been a magnet for women, especially since his Irish pubs made him extremely wealthy. But the only woman he really wants is the one he can never have. Not only is Sophie his best friend's off-limits younger sister...he can't risk letting her get close enough to discover his deeply hidden secret. Only, when Sophie appears on his doorstep as Jake's every fantasy come to life-smart, beautiful, and shockingly sexy-he doesn't have a prayer of taking his eyes, or his hands, off her. And he can't stop craving more of her sweet smiles and sinful kisses. Because even though Jake knows loving Sophie isn't the right thing to do...how can he possibly resist?

Trading Teams

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781726603263
Total Pages : 236 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (32 download)

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Book Synopsis Trading Teams by : John Harris

Download or read book Trading Teams written by John Harris and published by . This book was released on 2018-10-19 with total page 236 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jake thought he had life all figured out. He had the perfect girlfriend, a starting position on the Varsity baseball team, and a raging social life. He was living the dream. That is, until he discovers that he's in danger of losing his scholarship. The ultimatum? Get a tutor; or get out. Jake has no choice but to buckle down and put his head in his books. No sweat, right? The only problem is that the only person available to tutor him is a quiet nerd who would rather be alone than spend any time with a headstrong jock who isn't used to applying himself to anything but sports. For Kyle, college was only a formality. He didn't need the degree, and he barely attended his classes and still passed with flying colors. Instead of sitting in class, he'd rather be chasing his true passion--designing and programming an original MMORPG game. Kyle doesn't need a social life, and he definitely doesn't need a boyfriend, especially because that would require stepping out of the closet, something he has no intention of doing any time soon. The only problem? He's been assigned to tutor a handsome jock who would much rather be out on the field than stuck in a classroom. When it comes to having life figured out, Jake and Kyle will have to realize that there's more to life than good grades and games. Neither one of them is ready for what their newfound camaraderie will mean; but the bases are loaded and it's time to step up to the plate. Trading Teams is a standalone college romance featuring a nerdy gamer and a jock with his head in the clouds. This steamy romance includes intimate scenes of graphic sex and is intended for mature readers only. Batter up!

Tapped by My Roommate

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 342 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Tapped by My Roommate by : D. J. Jamison

Download or read book Tapped by My Roommate written by D. J. Jamison and published by . This book was released on 2021-09-04 with total page 342 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ethan Greene: Shy geek, newly bi-curious, and...propositioning his gay roommate? I have a passion for a lot of things: wildlife biology, Godzilla, bowties... But when it comes to people, I'm more timid. Which is why I'm stuck with a toxic ex-girlfriend who's holding my lizard hostage. I need to face her--and save my dignity. But a little backup won't hurt, right? My roommate is the perfect wingman. Rhett is assertive and charismatic. The kind of guy people respect. And when he meets my ex, he's also the kind of guy to get protective. I take comfort in his strength, even as I envy it. But when he kisses me, things get awkward. Frustrated by the tension between us, I turn to a hookup app for answers. I don't mean to proposition my roommate. Really. It's just a weird fluke--a mortifying one. But Rhett has a proposition of his own. He wants to help me explore my curiosity. But he's a bartender who practically flirts for a living, and I'm in way over my head. It could all end in heartbreak. Unless I find the courage I've been seeking my whole life. Can I be bold enough to ask Rhett Hayes to be mine? Tapped By My Roommate is Book 3 of the Thrust into Love series featuring a flirty bartender, a timid but passionate geek, and a mistaken app hookup that encourages these two roommates to explore friendship and love. It can be read as a standalone.

Dr. Strange Beard

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Publisher : Cipher-Naught
ISBN 13 : 1942874332
Total Pages : 418 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (428 download)

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Book Synopsis Dr. Strange Beard by : Penny Reid

Download or read book Dr. Strange Beard written by Penny Reid and published by Cipher-Naught. This book was released on 2018-07-30 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the NEW YORK TIMES, WALL STREET JOURNAL, & USA TODAY bestselling series Hunches, horse races, and heartbreak Ten years after Simone Payton broke his heart, all Roscoe Winston wants is a doughnut. He’d also like to forget her entirely, but that’s never going to happen. Roscoe Winston remembers everything—every look, every word, every single unrequited second—and the last thing he needs is another memory of Simone. Unfortunately, after one chance encounter, Simone keeps popping up everywhere he happens to be . . . Ten years after Roscoe Winston dropped out of her life, all Simone Payton wants is to exploit him. She’d also like some answers from her former best friend about why he ghosted her, but if she never gets those answers, that’s a-okay. Simone let go of the past a long time ago. Seriously, she has. She totally, totally has. She is definitely not still thinking about Roscoe. Nope. She’s more than happy to forget he exists. But first, she needs just one teeny-tiny favor . . . Dr. Strange Beard is a full-length romantic comedy novel, can be read as a stand-alone, and is the fifth book in the USA TODAY bestselling Winston Brothers series. ***** Read the entire Winston Brothers series! Beauty and the Mustache Book #0.5 USA Today Bestseller Truth or Beard Book #1 USA Today Bestseller Grin and Beard It #2 USA Today Bestseller Beard Science #3 USA Today Bestseller Beard in Mind #4 USA Today Bestseller Dr. Strange Beard #5 New York Times Bestseller Beard with Me #5.5 (Coming September 2019) Beard Necessities #6 (Coming October 2019) ***** Topics: contemporary romance, romantic comedy, southern romance, small town, series, geek romance, nerdy girl romance, nerdy girl, geek girl, romantic comedy series, comedy, comedy series, funny romance, laugh romance, modern romance, urban romance, Tennessee, Tennessee romance, USA today, new york times bestselling author, USA today bestseller, USA Today bestseller, small town romance, friends to lovers romance, enemies to lovers romance, smart romance, something funny to read, lighthearted romance, light romance, hot romance, Penny Reid, penny reid romance, beard romance, bearded, wanderlust romance, romance novel, romance book, romantic comedy books, romance for adults, romance books, funny romance, funny romance, funny books, comedy books free, rom com, hilarious, romance series, romance books, beach reads, new adult, college, funny, female, stories, sensual, sensual romance, alpha male, hot guy, racy, sexy, heartwarming, heart-warming, family, love, love books, kissing books, emotional journey, contemporary, contemporary romance, romance series, long series, long romance series, bearded hero, sassy, captivating romance, hot, hot romance, mistaken identity romance, sparks, loyalty, swoon, interracial romance, African American heroine, childhood friends to lovers, second chance romance, virgin romance, bearded brothers, saga

The Guy on the Right

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781081701055
Total Pages : 362 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (1 download)

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Book Synopsis The Guy on the Right by : Kate Stewart

Download or read book The Guy on the Right written by Kate Stewart and published by . This book was released on 2019 with total page 362 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Strike One-My mother named me Theodore after her favorite chipmunk.Not cool, Mom.I've spent most of my life answering to Teddy, because I couldn't make Theo work.Except for here. College. The place where all bets are off, and I've managed to redeem myself.There's only one problem, my new roommate, Troy, is football royalty and looks like he stepped off the set of an Abercrombie shoot.Doesn't matter, I cook a mean breakfast for his panty parade, and we get along well.And anyway, this year I got the girl. And she's perfect.That's right. Theodore Houseman, former band geek, now marching band rock star has finally landed the girl of his dreams.Everything is perfect.That is, until Troy takes a good look at her.I'm not going down without a fight. As a matter of fact, I'm not going down at all. As glorious as these days may be for my all-star roommate, Laney is my end game. I may not know much about play strategy, but I've been the good guy my whole life. I've been listening and I know exactly what women want. Framed in a picture standing next to me, Troy may seem like Mr. Perfect, but he's underestimating the guy on the right.Spoiler alert: In this story, the underdog is going to win.

In the Ring

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781540528193
Total Pages : 266 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (281 download)

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Book Synopsis In the Ring by : Rie Warren

Download or read book In the Ring written by Rie Warren and published by . This book was released on 2016-11-19 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The biggest fight of his life isn't . . . In the Ring.The bright lights. The roaring crowd. The chance at a championship belt. The not-so-little secret Liam Shaughnessy-the Bonny Bruiser-is fighting to keep tucked far away. Liam got the pussy pounded out of him on the mean streets of Cin-city-the other Sin City. The oldest in a Catholic clan where his da never pulled any punches, he went from geek boy to the golden boy of the boxing world care of his fists. Liam's on the fast track to having it all . . . all except the one man he wants. Michael Fairweather makes pretending to be hetero goddamn difficult for Liam. The man is blond and beautiful and just so happens to be Liam's trainer. With a penchant for doing shirtless yoga, giving midnight massages to loosen Liam's muscles, and sometimes even taking it out in the ring with him. To say Liam has porn-style fantasies about Michael is an understatement. Michael's out and proud. Liam's only proud of what he can do in the ring. He can't risk his career, least of all for someone unavailable. Michael has a lover. Liam has the lies he lives every day. And when his money-grubbing manager gets involved as the title win approaches, Liam doesn't know what hit him. Fight to win. Fight with honor. It won't be easy, but that's okay. Nothing worth fighting for ever is.

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

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Author :
Publisher : Little, Brown
ISBN 13 : 031613323X
Total Pages : 259 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (161 download)

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Book Synopsis The Onion Book of Known Knowledge by : The Onion

Download or read book The Onion Book of Known Knowledge written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.