I Heart My Little A-Holes

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Author :
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062341618
Total Pages : 249 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (623 download)

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Book Synopsis I Heart My Little A-Holes by : Karen Alpert

Download or read book I Heart My Little A-Holes written by Karen Alpert and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-04-08 with total page 249 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

I Heart My Little A-Holes

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Author :
Publisher : William Morrow
ISBN 13 : 9780062341624
Total Pages : 304 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (416 download)

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Book Synopsis I Heart My Little A-Holes by : Karen Alpert

Download or read book I Heart My Little A-Holes written by Karen Alpert and published by William Morrow. This book was released on 2014-04-08 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting—I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be A-Holes

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Author :
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0358346266
Total Pages : 276 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (583 download)

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Book Synopsis Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be A-Holes by : Karen Alpert

Download or read book Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be A-Holes written by Karen Alpert and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-04-27 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you ever feel like you’re failing miserably at parenting? Do your kids keep acting like douchenuggets no matter what you do? Then this book is for you. From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you. Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like: You Are Not Your Kiddo's Servant​ Picasso's Mom Didn't Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right Place Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in Therapy If They Say "I Hate You," Then You're Probably Doing It Right Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes will make you laugh, cry, laugh until you cry, and feel like you’re having coffee (and a little sumpin' in it) with a best friend who has some of the answers to THE hardest job on earth: parenting. And maybe, just maybe, it might help you get the a-hole out of your kids* *not a guarantee

I Heart My Little A-holes

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 287 pages
Book Rating : 4.:/5 (114 download)

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Book Synopsis I Heart My Little A-holes by : Karen Alpert (Blogger)

Download or read book I Heart My Little A-holes written by Karen Alpert (Blogger) and published by . This book was released on 2014 with total page 287 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Karen Alpert, writer of the blog Baby Sideburns, shares funny stories and pictures from her experiences raising her young son and daughter.

I Want My Epidural Back

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Author :
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062427091
Total Pages : 219 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (624 download)

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Book Synopsis I Want My Epidural Back by : Karen Alpert

Download or read book I Want My Epidural Back written by Karen Alpert and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-04-05 with total page 219 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.

The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting

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Author :
Publisher : Abrams
ISBN 13 : 1613123280
Total Pages : 662 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (131 download)

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Book Synopsis The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting by : Ilana Wiles

Download or read book The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting written by Ilana Wiles and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2016-09-27 with total page 662 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular blog Mommy Shorts comes a “hilarious and comforting” look at real-world motherhood (New York Times bestselling author, Jill Smokler). Ilana Wiles is not a particularly good mother. She’s not a particularly bad mother either. Like most of us, she’s somewhere in between. And she has some surprisingly good advice about navigating life as an imperfect parent. In this witty and loving homage to the every-parent, Wiles suggests that they having the best child-rearing experience of all. Using Wiles’s signature infographics and photographs to illustrate her personal and hilarious essays on motherhood, The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting is an honest book that celebrates the fun of being a mom.

Moms Who Drink and Swear

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Author :
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 110165094X
Total Pages : 337 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis Moms Who Drink and Swear by : Nicole Knepper

Download or read book Moms Who Drink and Swear written by Nicole Knepper and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Stay-at-Work Mom

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Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1982106972
Total Pages : 280 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (821 download)

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Book Synopsis Stay-at-Work Mom by : Liz Astrof

Download or read book Stay-at-Work Mom written by Liz Astrof and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-07-30 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The parenting genre is never going to be the same” (Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids) after this candid and hilarious collection of essays on motherhood from the award-winning television comedy writer and producer of 2 Broke Girls and The King of Queens, who swears she loves her kids—when she’s not hiding from them. Some women feel that motherhood is a calling and their purpose on earth. They somehow manage to make pregnancy look effortless, bring out the beauty in a screaming child, and keep the back seat of their cars as spotless as their kitchens. And then there are women like Liz Astrof—who originally had children because “everyone else was.” In this blunt and side-splittingly funny book of essays (previously published as Don’t Wait Up), Liz Astrof embraces the realities of motherhood (and womanhood) that no one ever talks about: like needing to hide from your kids in your closet, your car, or a yoga class on the other side of town, letting them eat candy for dinner because you just can’t deal, to the sheer terror of failing them or at the very least losing them in a mall. And sometimes, many times, wondering if the whole parenting thing wasn’t for you. Perfect for fans of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and I Heart My Little A-Holes, Stay-At-Work Mom is a soul-baring and honest look at parenting and relationships for moms who realize that motherhood doesn’t have to be your entire life—just an amazing part of it.

Toddlers Are A**holes

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Author :
Publisher : Workman Publishing
ISBN 13 : 076118564X
Total Pages : 177 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (611 download)

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Book Synopsis Toddlers Are A**holes by : Bunmi Laditan

Download or read book Toddlers Are A**holes written by Bunmi Laditan and published by Workman Publishing. This book was released on 2015-04-07 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

I Heart My Little A-Holes

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780615873381
Total Pages : 272 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (733 download)

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Book Synopsis I Heart My Little A-Holes by : Karen Alpert

Download or read book I Heart My Little A-Holes written by Karen Alpert and published by . This book was released on 2013-10 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Karen Alpert, writer of the blog Baby Sideburns, shares funny stories and pictures from her experiences raising her young son and daughter.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

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Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451673779
Total Pages : 178 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

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Book Synopsis Confessions of a Scary Mommy by : Jill Smokler

Download or read book Confessions of a Scary Mommy written by Jill Smokler and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-04-03 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on the hugely popular Web site, ScaryMommy.com, this book takes an irreverent look at the unglamorous side of parenting and tackles the issues many mothers are too afraid to expose.

My Heart and Other Black Holes

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Author :
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062324691
Total Pages : 320 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (623 download)

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Book Synopsis My Heart and Other Black Holes by : Jasmine Warga

Download or read book My Heart and Other Black Holes written by Jasmine Warga and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2015-02-10 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A stunning novel about the transformative power of love, perfect for fans of 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness. There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution—Roman, a teenage boy who’s haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner. Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together.

The Underneath

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Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416998586
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (169 download)

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Book Synopsis The Underneath by : Kathi Appelt

Download or read book The Underneath written by Kathi Appelt and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-07-24 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There is nothing lonelier than a cat who has been loved, at least for a while, and then abandoned on the side of the road. A calico cat, about to have kittens, hears the lonely howl of a chained-up hound deep in the backwaters of the bayou. She dares to find him in the forest, and the hound dares to befriend this cat, this feline, this creature he is supposed to hate. They are an unlikely pair, about to become an unlikely family. Ranger urges the cat to hide underneath the porch, to raise her kittens there because Gar-Face, the man living inside the house, will surely use them as alligator bait should he find them. But they are safe in the Underneath...as long as they stay in the Underneath. Kittens, however, are notoriously curious creatures. And one kitten’s one moment of curiosity sets off a chain of events that is astonishing, remarkable, and enormous in its meaning. For everyone who loves Sounder, Shiloh, and The Yearling, for everyone who loves the haunting beauty of writers such as Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, Flannery O’Connor, and Carson McCullers, Kathi Appelt spins a harrowing yet keenly sweet tale about the power of love—and its opposite, hate—the fragility of happiness and the importance of making good on your promises.

Small Steps

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Publisher : A&C Black
ISBN 13 : 1408818051
Total Pages : 269 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (88 download)

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Book Synopsis Small Steps by : Louis Sachar

Download or read book Small Steps written by Louis Sachar and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2010-12-06 with total page 269 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Armpit and X-Ray are living in Austin, Texas. It is three years since they left the confines of Camp Green Lake Detention Centre and Armpit is taking small steps to turn his life around. He is working for a landscape gardener because he is good at digging holes, he is going to school and he is enjoying his first proper romance, but is he going to be able to stay out of trouble when there is so much building up against him? In this exciting novel, Armpit is joined by many vibrant new characters, and is learning what it takes to stay on course, and that doing the right thing is never the wrong choice.

Hole in My Life

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Author :
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780374430894
Total Pages : 212 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (38 download)

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Book Synopsis Hole in My Life by : Jack Gantos

Download or read book Hole in My Life written by Jack Gantos and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2002 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this Michael L. Printz Honor Book, the Newbery Honor-winning creator of the Joey Pigza books shares the true story of how he became a writer the hard way by learning a valuable lesson while he was in college.

Night Sky with Exit Wounds

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Author :
Publisher : Copper Canyon Press
ISBN 13 : 1619321564
Total Pages : 104 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (193 download)

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Book Synopsis Night Sky with Exit Wounds by : Ocean Vuong

Download or read book Night Sky with Exit Wounds written by Ocean Vuong and published by Copper Canyon Press. This book was released on 2016-05-23 with total page 104 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the 2016 Whiting Award One of Publishers Weekly's "Most Anticipated Books of Spring 2016" One of Lit Hub's "10 must-read poetry collections for April" “Reading Vuong is like watching a fish move: he manages the varied currents of English with muscled intuition. His poems are by turns graceful and wonderstruck. His lines are both long and short, his pose narrative and lyric, his diction formal and insouciant. From the outside, Vuong has fashioned a poetry of inclusion.”—The New Yorker "Night Sky with Exit Wounds establishes Vuong as a fierce new talent to be reckoned with...This book is a masterpiece that captures, with elegance, the raw sorrows and joys of human existence."—Buzzfeed's "Most Exciting New Books of 2016" "This original, sprightly wordsmith of tumbling pulsing phrases pushes poetry to a new level...A stunning introduction to a young poet who writes with both assurance and vulnerability. Visceral, tender and lyrical, fleet and agile, these poems unflinchingly face the legacies of violence and cultural displacement but they also assume a position of wonder before the world.”—2016 Whiting Award citation "Night Sky with Exit Wounds is the kind of book that soon becomes worn with love. You will want to crease every page to come back to it, to underline every other line because each word resonates with power."—LitHub "Vuong’s powerful voice explores passion, violence, history, identity—all with a tremendous humanity."—Slate “In his impressive debut collection, Vuong, a 2014 Ruth Lilly fellow, writes beauty into—and culls from—individual, familial, and historical traumas. Vuong exists as both observer and observed throughout the book as he explores deeply personal themes such as poverty, depression, queer sexuality, domestic abuse, and the various forms of violence inflicted on his family during the Vietnam War. Poems float and strike in equal measure as the poet strives to transform pain into clarity. Managing this balance becomes the crux of the collection, as when he writes, ‘Your father is only your father/ until one of you forgets. Like how the spine/ won’t remember its wings/ no matter how many times our knees/ kiss the pavement.’”—Publishers Weekly "What a treasure [Ocean Vuong] is to us. What a perfume he's crushed and rendered of his heart and soul. What a gift this book is."—Li-Young Lee Torso of Air Suppose you do change your life. & the body is more than a portion of night—sealed with bruises. Suppose you woke & found your shadow replaced by a black wolf. The boy, beautiful & gone. So you take the knife to the wall instead. You carve & carve until a coin of light appears & you get to look in, at last, on happiness. The eye staring back from the other side— waiting. Born in Saigon, Vietnam, Ocean Vuong attended Brooklyn College. He is the author of two chapbooks as well as a full-length collection, Night Sky with Exit Wounds. A 2014 Ruth Lilly Fellow and winner of the 2016 Whiting Award, Ocean Vuong lives in New York City, New York.

Hippo, I Heart You

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781953756015
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (56 download)

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Book Synopsis Hippo, I Heart You by : Caroline Silva

Download or read book Hippo, I Heart You written by Caroline Silva and published by . This book was released on 2021-04 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: