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I Didnt Fart My Butt Blew You A Kiss
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Download or read book Scales of War written by Lainie Anderson and published by The Phantom Pen. This book was released on with total page 780 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Full-on mama bear mode doesn’t even begin to describe it. When my unfairly sexy enemy tells me that the supernatural is real and my missing sons are alive, I must find them. I don’t even care that I’m supposed to be some magical creature too. All I care about is my family. The hunt is on, but I’m not the only one doing the hunting. There's an evil I never dreamed of that wants me to enact their plan to wipe out the world. Who’d have thought I’d be a 40-year-old chosen one? Teaming up with two temptingly hot vampires and a sexy shifter to find a family I haven’t seen in five years hardly seems like the best idea, but beggars can’t be choosers, and I’m determined. Who ever dreamed that I’d find new love and family on the way to rescue the old? Grab this steamy why choose series and explore a world of archaic rules, intrigue, and romance. Follow Riley’s adventures, and then even more fun with the interconnected duet of Jen’s story. If you love found family, enemies to lovers, and dominant men, you’ll love this reverse harem complete series.
Download or read book Bloom In Blood written by L.A. Boruff and published by The Phantom Pen. This book was released on with total page 139 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At thirty-seven, the worst possible thing happened. Now, at forty-two, Riley has nearly given up. Five years ago, my world was turned upside down when my husband and sons disappeared without a trace. I mourned, I searched, and when I got no answers, I began to prepare. Nobody will catch me vulnerable again. I was wrong to think my life couldn’t get any crazier. Now there are two vampires at my door telling me my missing family wasn’t human...and neither am I. I have a chance to regain everything I’ve lost. But first, I have to find the truth about my heritage, all while fighting the overwhelming attraction I have for my missing husband’s best friends. No matter what, my mourning is done. My life is in my control again. And I will burn the world to the ground to get my family back.
Download or read book Dance In Night written by L.A. Boruff and published by The Phantom Pen. This book was released on with total page 382 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Several months after the heartbreaking events in the ruins of the Isla Del Sol, all Riley wants is to resolve her complicated past and move on with life. Pregnant, married, and safe, she never expects to be kidnapped while on vacation with her husbands. Her kidnappers open her eyes to a dangerous threat to her baby’s entire existence. Her children’s safety is her top priority, and Riley will stop at nothing to achieve it. Is she strong enough to save her family?
Book Synopsis Uncle John's Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness Bathroom Reader by : Bathroom Readers' Institute
Download or read book Uncle John's Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness Bathroom Reader written by Bathroom Readers' Institute and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-09-03 with total page 760 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It’s all about the facts—and Uncle John is back with a ton of them! For the 32nd year, Uncle John and his loyal researchers have teamed up to bring you the latest tidbits from the world of pop culture, history, sports, and strange news stories. If you want to read about celebrity misdeeds, odd coincidences, and disastrous blunders, Uncle John’s Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness has what you need. With short articles for a quick trip to the throne room and longer page-turners for an extended visit, this all-new edition of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader is a satisfying read.
Book Synopsis Happiness Is Listening to Your Dog Snore by : Sandra Murphy
Download or read book Happiness Is Listening to Your Dog Snore written by Sandra Murphy and published by Untreed Reads. This book was released on 2021-11-18 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Afghans and Akitas to Yakutians and Yorkies, and everything in between, there’s a very special connection between dogs and their owners. Our four-legged friends put smiles on our faces, comfort us when we’re down and make us laugh with their antics. They aren’t just “man’s best friend” but a terrific companion to women, children and anyone in need of the perfect companion. Bestselling author and editor Sandra Murphy (Peace, Love, and Crime: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of the 60s, From Hay to Eternity) has compiled a collection of quotes celebrating canines; our furry friends who bring so much joy to our lives. Some quotes will be familiar, many will be new, but all remind us how wonderful it is to have dogs in our lives.
Download or read book Potty Humor written by Brian Boone and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-09-01 with total page 310 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Get ready for the hundreds of gross-out groaners to be found on the pages of Potty Humor! From the folks who brought you Dad Jokes and Dad Jokes Too, here’s an entire book devoted to pee jokes, poop jokes, barf jokes, and more. This volume of icky humor will have your friends and family cringing and moaning all year long!
Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together
Download or read book The Ugly Truth written by Jeff Kinney and published by Penguin Books Limited. This book was released on 2012 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth is the massively funny fifth title in the highly-illustrated, bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney. Perfect for both boys and girls of 8+, reluctant readers and all the millions of devoted Wimpy Kid fans out there. You can also discover Greg on the big screen in any one of the three Wimpy Kid Movie box office smashes.The massively funny fifth book in the bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.Greg Heffley has always been in a hurry to grow up. But is getting older really all it's cracked up to be?Suddenly Greg is dealing with the pressures of boy-girl parties, increased responsibilities, and even the awkward changes that come with getting older. And after a fight with his best friend Rowley, it looks like Greg is going to have to face the "ugly truth" all by himself . . .Praise for Jeff Kinney and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series:'The world has gone crazy for Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series' - Sun'Kinney is right up there with J K Rowling as one of the bestselling children's authors on the planet' - Independent'Hilarious!' - Sunday Telegraph'The most hotly anticipated children's book of the year is here - Diary of a Wimpy Kid' - The Big IssueAs well as being an international bestselling author, Jeff Kinney is also an online developer and designer. He is the creator of the children's virtual world, poptropica where you can also find the Wimpy Kid boardwalk. He was named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2009. He lives with his family in Massachusetts, USA. www.wimpykidclub.co.uk
Book Synopsis Let's Pretend This Never Happened by : Jenny Lawson
Download or read book Let's Pretend This Never Happened written by Jenny Lawson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-04-17 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside
Book Synopsis I Didn't Fart... My Butt Blew You a Kiss! by : Feel Good Press
Download or read book I Didn't Fart... My Butt Blew You a Kiss! written by Feel Good Press and published by . This book was released on 2019-04-10 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Q: What Kind of Music do you Play for a Boulder and Some Toilet Paper? A: Rock'n'Roll! How can you add a bit of humor to your visitors' trip to the bathroom? By giving them a chance to write down their funniest poop jokes! This is the #1 book when you gotto do #2... Each bathroom guest can share their name, as well as their favorite funny bathroom jokes, toilet paper puns and witty one-liners. This bathroom guestbook is also great as a housewarming gift! To get your copy, click the 'Buy' button.
Book Synopsis The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse by : Rick Riordan
Download or read book The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse written by Rick Riordan and published by Disney-Hyperion. This book was released on 2007-05 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this third book of the acclaimed series, Percy and his friends are escorting two new half-bloods safely to camp when they are intercepted by a manticore and learn that the goddess Artemis has been kidnapped.
Download or read book Blindsight written by Peter Watts and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2006-10-03 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hugo and Shirley Jackson award-winning Peter Watts stands on the cutting edge of hard SF with his acclaimed novel, Blindsight Two months since the stars fell... Two months of silence, while a world held its breath. Now some half-derelict space probe, sparking fitfully past Neptune's orbit, hears a whisper from the edge of the solar system: a faint signal sweeping the cosmos like a lighthouse beam. Whatever's out there isn't talking to us. It's talking to some distant star, perhaps. Or perhaps to something closer, something en route. So who do you send to force introductions with unknown and unknowable alien intellect that doesn't wish to be met? You send a linguist with multiple personalities, her brain surgically partitioned into separate, sentient processing cores. You send a biologist so radically interfaced with machinery that he sees x-rays and tastes ultrasound. You send a pacifist warrior in the faint hope she won't be needed. You send a monster to command them all, an extinct hominid predator once called vampire, recalled from the grave with the voodoo of recombinant genetics and the blood of sociopaths. And you send a synthesist—an informational topologist with half his mind gone—as an interface between here and there. Pray they can be trusted with the fate of a world. They may be more alien than the thing they've been sent to find. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Download or read book Croak written by Gina Damico and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2012 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A delinquent sixteen-year-old girl is sent to live with her uncle for the summer, only to learn that he is a Grim Reaper who wants to teach her the family business.
Download or read book Sleep Deprived written by J. A. Yonkers and published by Trafford Publishing. This book was released on 2004 with total page 426 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Twins Gabe and Steve had nearly the perfect childhood, never lacking for a thing. Kyle had nothing but Jenna. She wanted nothing more than to make Kyle happy, but was torn away from him far too soon. Growing up in a small Montana town, the four children discovered the realities of life. The love of parents, the loss of friends, the betrayal of a brother, the sordid, secret life of a mother. Searching for a dream, but finding that even if it does exist, it seems unattainable. Yet they continued on, searching. Gabe longed to be a musician, up on stage before thousands of adoring fans, loving to be loved by them. Steve hoped to make his living as a cowboy, traveling with the rodeo and earning enough to survive. Kyle only wished to survive from one day to the next, his guitar and letters from Jenna forcing him to cling to one more day of life. Jenna fought her own battles, learning to walk again after her dream of becoming a dancer was shattered in a fall. Overcoming all odds, the foursome made their way into adulthood, finding a little fame and a little fortune, and each other.
Book Synopsis I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by : Maya Angelou
Download or read book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings written by Maya Angelou and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-07-21 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here is a book as joyous and painful, as mysterious and memorable, as childhood itself. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings captures the longing of lonely children, the brute insult of bigotry, and the wonder of words that can make the world right. Maya Angelou’s debut memoir is a modern American classic beloved worldwide. Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother, Bailey, endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age—and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Years later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors (“I met and fell in love with William Shakespeare”) will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned. Poetic and powerful, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings will touch hearts and change minds for as long as people read. “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings liberates the reader into life simply because Maya Angelou confronts her own life with such a moving wonder, such a luminous dignity.”—James Baldwin From the Paperback edition.
Download or read book I need a new bum written by Dawn McMillan and published by Oratia Media Ltd. This book was released on 2012-09-03T00:00:00Z with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I need a new bum! Mine's got a crack. I can see in the mirror a crack in the back. What to do when you need a new bum? Should you get one that's blue or yellow spotted? A Chevy bum, a rocket bum that's all fire and thrust, or a robo-bum? The options are endless - but wait, Dad's bum crack is showing too? Maybe this is contagious.
Download or read book The Serpent King written by Jeff Zentner and published by Ember. This book was released on 2017-06-06 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Named to ten BEST OF THE YEAR lists and selected as a William C. Morris Award Winner,The Serpent King is the critically acclaimed, much-beloved story of three teens who find themselves--and each other--while on the cusp of graduating from high school with hopes of leaving their small-town behind. Perfect for fans of John Green's Turtles All the Way Down. "Move over, John Green; Zentner is coming for you." —The New York Public Library “Will fill the infinite space that was left in your chest after you finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” —BookRiot.com Dill isn't the most popular kid at his rural Tennessee high school. After his father fell from grace in a public scandal that reverberated throughout their small town, Dill became a target. Fortunately, his two fellow misfits and best friends, Travis and Lydia, have his back. But as they begin their senior year, Dill feels the coils of his future tightening around him. His only escapes are music and his secret feelings for Lydia--neither of which he is brave enough to share. Graduation feels more like an ending to Dill than a beginning. But even before then, he must cope with another ending--one that will rock his life to the core. Debut novelist Jeff Zentner provides an unblinking and at times comic view of the hard realities of growing up in the Bible belt, and an intimate look at the struggles to find one’s true self in the wreckage of the past. “A story about friendship, family and forgiveness, it’s as funny and witty as it is utterly heartbreaking.” —PasteMagazine.com “A brutally honest portrayal of teen life . . . [and] a love letter to the South from a man who really understands it.” —Mashable.com “I adored all three of these characters and the way they talked to and loved one another.”—New York Times
