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Everygnomes Guide To Paratechnology
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Book Synopsis Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2013-06-11 with total page 91 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David Gatewood, Post-Technological Metamagician Are you a Gnome? Do you want to be one? Do you know what one is? Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1) Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement? Do you like root vegetables? If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology! Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3) With enlightening topics including Two Wrongs Often Make a Right, What Doesn't Kill You Can Also Maim, Destroy, and Disfigure, Moving Beyond Clockwork Devices, and How to Avoid Mustache Entanglement, Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4) If, on the absolutely slim chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive, nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist. Notes to self (and others): 1. Real or imagined. 2. Or any other. 3. Who would? 4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place. 5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are. From the AuthorThe EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not).
Book Synopsis Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2014-03-20 with total page 383 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere series provides a range of proven (1) advice for professions that don't exist. (2) This complete edition includes all four novellas in the Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere tetralogy. Included are: Mulogo's Treatise on Wizardry: Mulogo's Treatise provides a concise summary in plain (well, mostly plain) language for wizards who wish to have a manual for surviving in a harsh world where people (and much nastier) want to kill you and take your stuff (usually in that order). (4) Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology: Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist (5), a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology! Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys: Nemesis provides a wealth of information you do not wish to know on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil. (6) Confessions of an Angry Dwarf: If you have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (8), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited. Adventurer's Notes: 1. Until disproven. 2. No matter how much you may want for them to be real. (3) 3. Which should in no way limit your enjoyment of them. 4. Thankfully, the guide applies equally well when your enemies could care less about taking your stuff. 5. Who would? 6. If you have ever been frustrated by the decision-making of villains in literature or film, then this is the guide for you. (7) 7. Unless, of course, it isn't. 8. Brave soul that you are. From the AuthorThe EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist. Also, they have footnotes. Lots of footnotes. 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Bailey, Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology, Nemesis, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf
Book Synopsis Confessions of an Angry Dwarf by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Confessions of an Angry Dwarf written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2013-11-18 with total page 72 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David "Blazing Beard" Gatewood, Thane of the Stonescribe clan Just because you're short, crotchety, seldom bathe, like to drink, and have a beard doesn't make you a Dwarf. (1) To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you're a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise. Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom. If you're a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited. With enlightening chapters such as All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate 'Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o' Belchin', Grabbin' tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin' ta Growl, One Good Thumpin' Deserves Another and On Never Conformin' ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one's potential as a Dwarf. If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, thenConfessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7) Observations from a talking axe: 1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves. 2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen"Flamebeard" Doomhammer. 3. More likely further. 4. Or many. 5. Such as it is. 6. Brave soul that you are. 7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading! From the Author The EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not). Tags/Related Terms: fantasy, humor, humour, humour, satire, comedy, magic, wizards, sff, science fiction, science fiction, sci-fi, parody, sf, comic fantasy, english, funny, funny, fantasy fiction, fantasy fiction, speculative fiction, comics, tourism, adventure, dragons, american literature, humorous, mmpb, british humor, adult, american authors, death, english literature, gods, humorous fantasy, alternate reality, ya, american fiction, comedic fantasy, fantasy series, humorous fiction, other worlds, pastiche, young adult, alternate universe, contemporary, fantastical, fantasy humor, heroes, magie, mage, parodie, parody, science fantasy, silly, supernatural, sword and sorcery, trolls, trolls, witches, alternate worlds, contemporary fiction, contemporary literature, epic, fate, high fantasy, hilarious, modern fantasy, modern fiction, monsters, mythology, other world, puns, sf/f/h, spoof, stories, 21st century literature, 21st century literature, absurdity, adventures, archetypes, barbarians, brain candy, challenges, children's literature, clever, clowns, collectible, comedic, comic fiction, commentary, companion, computers, cosmology, crazy, creative, d&d, data, debut, demons, daemon, daemons, dwarves, elves, evolution, fairy tales, farce, friendship, genre, genre fiction, gnomes, god, gold, gothic, highly recommended, humorous stories, irony, journey, language, light, mages, magicians, magick, myth, orc, orcs, paranormal, priest, print, saga, sarcasm, satirical, series fiction, ships, short stories, smart, snark, social commentary, social satire, speculative, sword, teen, undead, weird, wired, wizardry, young adult fiction, zombies, ea’ae, chronicles of the fists, Paratechnology, metaphysical, knight, clockwork, steampunk, technowozard, technowizardry, novella, paladin, light, holy, holy sword, Light, Indural, Yeren, Dracodaeran, Dracodin, K’un Lun, Priest, Priests, Priest of K’un Lun, Maeth Onai, fang shi, Bor’Banna, Darkness, Tides of Darkness, Return of the Cabal, Ascension of the Four, Ea’ae, seal, seals, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, beard, mustache, tome, treatise, Fists, Flaming Fists, Four, the Four, the Fists, faerviage, airship, gate, portal, Tellanon, Illdrassil, yuan qi, yuan-chi, yuan chi, celestial, celestial qi, chi, life, energy of life, one light, ka, dalaren ka, geek, self-help, treatise, tome, guide, superhero, super hero, tropes, rpg, roleplaying, supervillain, supervillains, villain, villains, fun, laughs, tinker, tinkering, science, clockwork, technology, technological, metaphysical, metaphysics, metaphysicist, monk, monks, arcane, divine, abyss, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, Mulogo, Saedeus, Urdaen, treasure, Cabal, Shadow's Rise, Shadow's Descent, Lords of Light, Joe Bailey, Joseph Bailey, Joseph J. Bailey, Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology, Nemesis, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf
Book Synopsis Chronicles of the Fists by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Chronicles of the Fists written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2014-12-25 with total page 1164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Yip Chi Chuan, a young martial and spiritual ascetic, must flee as the only home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K'un Lun, is destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone, Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea'ae and into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming Darkness rooted in his once vaunted order's distant past. Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary, succeed where his mighty brethren failed in ages past? Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear... Without the guidance and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his quest may fail before it ever begins. Unfazed by his limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered. To win forward, he will need help...but first he must survive. A blend of Western fantasy and Eastern martial arts and mysticism, the Chronicles of the Fists is an epic trilogy recounting Yip's adventures against all odds. Edited by Ashley Davis, Priestess of K'un Lun Tags/Related Terms: Coming of age, young adult, ya, trade, fantasy, sff, sf, sf, asian, japan, china, science fiction, magic, martial arts, meditation, religion, war, adventure, alternate history, ancient text, chinese, doctrine, doctrine, gardens, government, hierarchy, hierarchy, high fantasy, invasion, love, martial, mmpb, modern fantasy, morality, mysticism, oriental, philosophical, political, power, religious orders, speculative, speculative fiction, strategy, temple, Shadow's Rise, Shadow's Descent, Lords of Light, Chronicles of the Fists, Joseph J. Bailey, chi, qi, magic, qigong, chi kung, chi gung, fantasy, sorcery, action, adventure, epic, book, books, epic fantasy, high fantasy, sword and sorcery, martial arts, wuxia, internal alchemy, meditation, haiku, ebook, ebooks, writing, writer, author, authors, novel, novels, trilogy, series, magical, humor, satire, nerd, nerds, rpg, rpg's, wizard, wizards, warrior, warriors, evil, geek, self-help, sorcery, mage, mages, fantasy, tropes, memes, roleplaying, sword, swords, comedy, magic, magical, jest, joke, elf, elves, elfs, elven, elfin, fey, mmo, mmorpg, d&d, dragons, dragon, Dwarf, Dwarfs, Dwarves, Dwarven, hero heroes, heros, villain, villains, fun, Gnome, Gnomes, Gnomish, guide, guides, manual, manuals, technowizard, technowizardry, Paratechnology, tinker, tinkering, steampunk, science, clockwork, technology, technological, metaphysical, metaphysics, metaphysicist, monk, monks, kung fu, wu shu, karate, poetry, knight, knights, arcane, divine, abyss, Cabal, tao, Taoism, zen, Buddhism, shaolin, asia, Asian, spell, quest, adventure, mystic, master, alchemy, neigong, nei kung, neigung, nae gong, demon, daemon, shadow, shadows, void, peace, enlighten, enlightenment, realization, kensho, satori, insight, shikanataza, koan, haiku, fiction, literature, novel, novella, paladin, light, holy, holy sword, Light, Indural, Yeren, Dracodaeran, Dracodin, K'un Lun, Priest, Priests, Priest of K'un Lun, Maeth Onai, fang shi, Bor'Banna, Darkness, Tides of Darkness, Return of the Cabal, Ascension of the Four, Ea'ae, seal, seals, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, beard, mustache, tome, treatise, Fists, Flaming Fists, Four, the Four, the Fists, faerviage, airship, gate, portal, Tellanon, Illdrassil, yuan qi, yuan-chi, yuan chi, celestial, celestial qi, life, energy of life, one light, ka, dalaren ka, Joe Bailey, Joseph Bailey, Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Infernal Fire written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph J. Bailey. This book was released on 2019-01-20 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No one should ever come between a man's family and his guns. Not if they want to live. Not even a demon. Or a demonic horde. Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger. The demons who killed his father had a death wish, for Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes. His guns spoke and demons fell. Infernal Fire is a weird western, a Wild West-inspired fantasy adventure novel of roughly 50,000 words. Reading order: Infernal Fire is book 1 of the Spellslinger Chronicles. Guns' Ghosts is book 2 of the Spellslinger Chronicles. Spellslinger is book 3 of the Spellslinger Chronicles.
Download or read book Demon Hunter written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph J. Bailey. This book was released on 2020-09-13 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Chet has a problem. A few of them in fact. He’s been kicked out of his order of holy knights. He’s depressed, he’s let himself go, and he has something of an inferiority complex. Mostly because he wields holy socks to fight demons while his friends use flaming swords, shimmering spears, and holy hand grenades. Now Sigil, the order of holy knights that threw him out, wants him back because its members are dying and no one can figure out why. Can Chet pick himself up off the couch long enough to do what other demon hunters can’t? Only time, and lots of pizza, will tell. Demon Hunter is a quirky noblebright urban sword and sorcery adventure fantasy of roughly 45,000 words.
Download or read book Grak - Orc PI written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph J. Bailey. This book was released on 2018-02-18 with total page 973 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Grak written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2017-10-24 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Legacy of the Blade by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Legacy of the Blade written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2016-10-23 with total page 536 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Heaven has fallen. The legions of Chaos have overrun the world. Uërth is in ruins. With the Heavenly Host's fall, Angel Swords rained from the heavens, littering the world in what was. Only the most honorable and purest of heart are able to take up the Angel Swords and wield them against the throngs of Chaos. These mighty Empyrean Knights are all that stands between Uërth and annihilation. Soul Stealer Saedeus is neither pure of heart nor honorable. Nor does he wish to wield an Angel Sword. He just wants to be left alone with his mushrooms. And his pet rock. But he might not have a choice. When he inadvertently takes the soul of a dying Empyrean Knight into himself, his world, and his obligations, grow forever larger. With the help of his pet rock, the spirit of a heavenly knight, and the sword of a fallen angel, he might be able to make all the difference. If he doesn't die first. Wild Mage Maeraeth is neither a hero nor a great warrior. Nor does he wish to become an Empyrean Knight. He just wants to be left alone with his studies. And not be killed by demons. But, with the destruction of the Chaos Gate, Uërth may have a chance at redemption. If the hordes of Chaos can be contained and if no more portals to the Abyss are created. Maeraeth's teacher, Master Nomba, has other plans for him. Plans that involve both containing demons and preventing their arrival. So much for his studies. And not being killed by demons. Stone Singer Born in a secret enclave safe from demonic depredations, Ilya has Chosen. She has Chosen to leave her life of security for one on Uërth, despite all its risks. Armed only with her Voice, a runic staff, and her training as a Singer, she must venture out into the desolation after the Fall. Now she just has to survive long enough to make that Choice worthwhile. And make a difference wherever she is able. In spite of finding herself in a world overrun by demons.
Book Synopsis Shadow's Descent by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Shadow's Descent written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 993 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Their world assaulted by an extradimensional invasion of life-devouring Shadow, Yip and his companions must find a way to halt the incursion before the Cabal and their loathsome allies drain the living energies of their planet, destroying all life and potential on Ea’ae. Aided by Aroganji the Fang Shi, master of the elements of change, Wrindanneth Priest of Maeth Onai, wielder of divine and arcane magics, and Slate the Dwarven axe-wielding Bor’Banna, imbued by the powers of the All-Father’s first forge, Yip ventures to Taerris’thule, the City of the Fallen Gods, in an effort to restore the seal of Eldre’gheu, one of the fourteen seals protecting Ea’ae from extraplanar intrusion. Shadow’s Descent is the second book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic fantasy trilogy recounting Yip and his friends’ adventures against the forces of Darkness.
Book Synopsis Master of the Flying Broom by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Master of the Flying Broom written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2020-09-13 with total page 447 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kensaro Hatanu’s soul was born the day his master handed him his first sword. Except Kensaro’s master did not hand him a sword to walk the path of the otana hanji, the sword saints of legend. His teacher handed Kensaro a broom. A broom to clean the monastery. While the other martial ascetics of Guai Lu practiced their physical and spiritual disciplines, Kensaro swept, mopped, and dusted, imagining he was slaying monsters, saving villagers, and meting out justice. Until the demons came and his broom was called to action. Master of the Flying Broom is a wuxia and xianxia-inspired noblebright martial arts fantasy of roughly 90,000 words.
Download or read book Stone Singer written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2016-09-17 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Tales of the Fallen by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Tales of the Fallen written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2016-12-26 with total page 61 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Guns' Ghosts written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph J. Bailey. This book was released on 2019-01-20 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No one should ever come between a man's family and his guns. Not if they want to live. Not even a sorcerer supreme. Or an undead horde. Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger. The wizard who opened his world to the invading demonic horde had a death wish. Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes. His guns spoke and infernals fell. Guns' Ghosts is a weird western, a Wild West-inspired fantasy adventure novel of roughly 35,000 words. Reading order: Infernal Fire is book 1 of the Spellslinger Chronicles. Guns' Ghosts is book 2 of the Spellslinger Chronicles. Spellslinger is book 3 of the Spellslinger Chronicles.
Book Synopsis The Spellslinger Chronicles by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book The Spellslinger Chronicles written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph J. Bailey. This book was released on 2019-02-01 with total page 627 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No one should ever come between a man's family and his guns. Not if they want to live. Not even a demon prince, a sorcerer supreme, or a ruthless dragon. Or a demonic horde. Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger. Koren D'uene's enemies have a death wish, for he is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes. His guns spoke and enemies fell. The Spellslinger Chronicles are weird westerns, Wild West-inspired fantasy adventure novels, featuring the exploits of Koren D'uene, cowboy wizard and gun knight. This collection includes: Infernal Fire is book 1 of the Spellslinger Chronicles. Guns' Ghosts is book 2 of the Spellslinger Chronicles. Spellslinger is book 3 of the Spellslinger Chronicles.
Download or read book Octopocalypse written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph Bailey. This book was released on 2014-12-09 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some say the world will end in fire and ash, others frost and ice, still others dust and dissolution. I say it will end in tentacles. Lots of tentacles. Tags/Related Terms: B movie, camp, sci-fi, cult classic, apocalypse, gore, blood, death, grindhouse, low-budget, beach, creature feature, humor, trash, sea monsters, horror predator, mutant, octopus, squid, kraken, fantasy, marine animals, terror, radioactive, experiment, accident, maneater, extravaganza, scream fest, bailey, joseph bailey, joseph j bailey, joseph j. bailey, parody, deep sea, ocean, suspense, funny, fun, humor, horror, thriller, suspense, animals, adventure, action, action adventure, death, american, california, sea, adult, america, modern fiction, monsters, 21st century fiction, american author, animal, english, general fiction, science fiction, sf, small town, summer, storm, cephalostorm, octocopter, jet squid, rocktopus, camoctopus, action/adventure, action adventure, adventure fiction, american fiction, american literature, animal fiction, fantasy, horror fiction, hunting, marine animals, maritime, mystery, nature, pulp, quest, scary, sea monsters, social criticism, social commentary, environment, environmental, military, summer holidays, tentacles, terror, underwater, water, shoreline, young adult, young adult fiction, social development, pollution, mutation, destruction, katana, katanas, sushi, cephalopod, cephalopods, deadly, killer, invasion, sff, sf, gory, fantasy fiction, machete, police, national guard, emergency, satire, biology, Armageddon, combat, conflict, speculative fiction, juvenile fiction, fantastic fiction, scary, dystopia, dystopian, short story, novella
Book Synopsis Unlikely Heroes by : Joseph J. Bailey
Download or read book Unlikely Heroes written by Joseph J. Bailey and published by Joseph J. Bailey. This book was released on 2021-10-27 with total page 1018 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some heroes are born, others are made, but the greatest heroes are unlikely...and they know it. Unlikely Heroes gathers a few of these heroes' tales in one impossible volume: Master of the Flying Broom While the other martial ascetics of Guai Lu practiced their physical and spiritual disciplines, Kensaro swept, mopped, and dusted, imagining he was slaying monsters, saving villagers, and meting out justice. Until the demons came and his broom was called to action. Demon Hunter Chet has a problem. A few of them in fact. He’s been kicked out of his order of holy knights. He’s depressed, he’s let himself go, and he has something of an inferiority complex. Can Chet pick himself up off the couch long enough to do what other demon hunters can’t and save his order? Only time, and lots of pizza, will tell. Gnomegeddon After graduating with his after-post-archmagus degree, Arcwhistle Goldpulley has everything a gnome technowizard could want and more...except some excitement. That is until he discovers a new opportunity...the life of a secret agent gnome. True heroes make the seemingly impossible possible. No matter how unlikely.
