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Earth Air Fire And Custard
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Book Synopsis Earth, Air, Fire and Custard by : Tom Holt
Download or read book Earth, Air, Fire and Custard written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 325 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A novel set in the magical offices of The Portable Door, now a majorly fantastical film starring Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is, in fact, a deeply sinister organization with a mighty peculiar management team. Paul thought he was getting the hang of it – particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague, Sophie – but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Our love-struck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings. The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
Download or read book In Your Dreams written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 480 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long-serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook? It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like J.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into. And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to "pest" control.
Download or read book The Portable Door written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE PORTABLE DOOR is the first novel set in the magical offices of J. W. Wells. Now a majorly fantastical movie starring Sam Neill, Christoph Waltz, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author Starting a new job is always stressful (especially when you don't want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J. W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. He is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is a front for a deeply sinister organization. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins. The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
Download or read book Paint Your Dragon written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sculptress Bianca Wilson is a living legend. St. George is also a legend, but not living. However, when Bianca's sculpture of the patron saint and his scaly chum gets a bit too lifelike, it opens up a new can of wyrms. The dragon knows that in the battle between Good and Evil, Evil got a raw deal and is looking to set the record straight. And George (who cheated) thinks the record's just fine as it is.
Download or read book Little People written by Tom Holt and published by Hachette+ORM. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 329 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I was eight years old when I saw my first elf." And for unlikely hero Michael it was his last. Cruella, Michael's unfortunately named girlfriend, doesn't approve of his obsession with the little people. But the problem is that they won't leave him alone. And who can blame them when it's Michael's own stepfather who's responsible for causing them so much misery? Oh yes. Daddy George knows that elves can do so much more than gardening.
Book Synopsis May Contain Traces of Magic by : Tom Holt
Download or read book May Contain Traces of Magic written by Tom Holt and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage moldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of it. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not-not the ones that contain traces of magic. Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never talked back to him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defense, that was her job. But when "Take the next right" turned into "Excuse me," that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a GPS isn't a GPS-sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.
Download or read book The Better Mousetrap written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 429 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A novel set in the magical offices of The Portable Door, now a majorly fantastical film starring Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author It touches all our lives – our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire, and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together. Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly. It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap. The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
Book Synopsis The Two of Swords: Part Ten by : K. J. Parker
Download or read book The Two of Swords: Part Ten written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2015-11-10 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Why are we fighting this war? Because evil must be resisted, and sooner or later there comes a time when men of principle have to make a stand. Because war is good for business and it's better to die on our feet than live on our knees. Because they started it. But at this stage in the proceedings," he added, with a slightly lop-sided grin, "mostly from force of habit." A soldier with a gift for archery. A woman who kills without care. Two brothers, both unbeatable generals, now fighting for opposing armies. No one in the vast and once glorious United Empire remains untouched by the rift between East and West, and the war has been fought for as long as anyone can remember. Some still survive who know how it was started, but no one knows how it will end. This serial novel from the World Fantasy Award winning K. J. Parker is the story of a war on a grand scale, told through the eyes of its soldiers, politicians, victims and heroes. The first three parts of The Two of Swords will arrive in April 2015, with further installments to be released monthly. This is the tenth installment in the Two of Swords serialization.
Book Synopsis Saevus Corax Gets Away With Murder by : K. J. Parker
Download or read book Saevus Corax Gets Away With Murder written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2023-12-05 with total page 297 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From one of the most original voices in fantasy comes a twisted tale of murder, betrayal, and battlefield salvage. For more from K. J. Parker, check out: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled CityHow to Rule an Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World The Two of SwordsThe Two of Swords: Volume OneThe Two of Swords Volume TwoThe Two of Swords: Volume Three The Fencer TrilogyColours in the SteelThe Belly of the BowThe Proof House The Scavenger TrilogyShadowPatternMemory Engineer TrilogyDevices and DesiresEvil for EvilThe Escapement The CompanyThe Folding KnifeThe HammerSharps
Book Synopsis The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse by : Tom Holt
Download or read book The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2023-10-10 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tom Holt’s brilliantly funny new novel set in the world of The Portable Door (now a delightful movie starring Patrick Gibson, Sophie Wilde, and Christoph Waltz). The team of commercial sorcerers at Dawson, Ahriman & Dawson can help with any metaphysical engineering project, large or small (though by definition they all tend to be pretty large). They can also create massive great puddles of chaos that might one day swallow up the entire universe. Take, for example, the decision to recruit a certain bearded fellow whose previous work experience mainly involves reindeer and jingle bells. It might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but is he really the best person to save the world from Tiamat the Destroyer, who has literally gone ballistic? For more from Tom Holt, check out: An Orc on the Wild Side The Management Style of the Supreme Beings The Good, The Bad, and the Smug The Outsorcerer's Apprentice When It's a Jar Doughnut Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages Blonde Bombshell
Book Synopsis A Practical Guide to Conquering the World by : K. J. Parker
Download or read book A Practical Guide to Conquering the World written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2022-01-11 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Practical Guide to Conquering the World can be read by itself, but for those who like endings it can also be considered the refreshingly pragmatic conclusion to World Fantasy Award-winning author K.J. Parker’s acclaimed sequence of novels that began with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City and continue with How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It. "Full of invention and ingenuity . . . Great fun." —SFX This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequences of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose, and the good stuff that happened in spite of him. It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wars, and the man responsible. For more from K. J. Parker, check out: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled CityHow to Rule an Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World The Two of SwordsThe Two of Swords: Volume OneThe Two of Swords Volume TwoThe Two of Swords: Volume Three The Fencer TrilogyColours in the SteelThe Belly of the BowThe Proof House The Scavenger TrilogyShadowPatternMemory Engineer TrilogyDevices and DesiresEvil for EvilThe Escapement The CompanyThe Folding KnifeThe HammerSharps
Book Synopsis Encyclopedia of Fantasy and Horror Fiction by : Don D'Ammassa
Download or read book Encyclopedia of Fantasy and Horror Fiction written by Don D'Ammassa and published by Infobase Learning. This book was released on 2015-04-22 with total page 2061 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Presents articles on the horror and fantasy genres of fiction, including authors, themes, significant works, and awards.
Download or read book Only Human written by Tom Holt and published by Hachette+ORM. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things? A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition-not to mention the lemming condition-is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.
Download or read book Sharps written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-07-05 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: '[Sharps] is a ripping good adventure yarn, laced with frequent barbed witticisms and ace sword fighting... Parker's settings and characterizations never miss a beat, and the intricate political interplay of intrigue is suspenseful almost to the last page.' - Publishers Weekly 'This is another splendid offering from K.J. Parker, the (pseudonymous) British fantasist who seems incapable of writing in anything but top form.' - Locus For the first time in nearly forty years, an uneasy truce has been called between two neighbouring kingdoms. The war has been long and brutal, fought over the usual things: resources, land, money . . . Now, there is a chance for peace. Diplomatic talks have begun and with them, the games of skill and chance. Two teams of fencers represent their nations at this pivotal moment. When the future of the world lies balanced on the point of a rapier, one misstep could mean ruin for all. Books by K.J. Parker: Fencer Trilogy The Colours in the Steel The Belly of the Bow The Proof House Scavenger Trilogy Shadow Pattern Memory Engineer Trilogy Devices and Desires Evil for Evil The Escapement Saloninus Blue and Gold The Devil You Know Two of Swords The Two of Swords: Part 1 The Two of Swords: Part 2 The Two of Swords: Part 3 Novels The Company The Folding Knife The Hammer Sharps Savages Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City My Beautiful Life
Book Synopsis The Two of Swords: Part Twelve by : K. J. Parker
Download or read book The Two of Swords: Part Twelve written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2016-01-12 with total page 67 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Why are we fighting this war? Because evil must be resisted, and sooner or later there comes a time when men of principle have to make a stand. Because war is good for business and it's better to die on our feet than live on our knees. Because they started it. But at this stage in the proceedings," he added, with a slightly lop-sided grin, "mostly from force of habit." A soldier with a gift for archery. A woman who kills without care. Two brothers, both unbeatable generals, now fighting for opposing armies. No one in the vast and once glorious United Empire remains untouched by the rift between East and West, and the war has been fought for as long as anyone can remember. Some still survive who know how it was started, but no one knows how it will end. This serial novel from the World Fantasy Award winning K. J. Parker is the story of a war on a grand scale, told through the eyes of its soldiers, politicians, victims and heroes. The first three parts of The Two of Swords will arrive in April 2015, with further installments to be released monthly. This is the twelfth installment in the Two of Swords serialization.
Download or read book Blonde Bombshell written by Tom Holt and published by Hachette+ORM. This book was released on 2010-05-28 with total page 351 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The year is 2017. Lucy Pavlov is the CEO of PavSoft Industries, home of a revolutionary operating system that every computer in the world runs on. Her personal wealth is immeasurable, her intelligence is unfathomable, and she's been voted World's Most Beautiful Woman for three years running. To put it simply -- she has it all. But not everything is quite right in Lucy's life. For starters, she has no memories prior to 2015. She also keeps having run-ins with a unicorn. And to make matters even worse, a bomb is hurtling through interstellar space, headed straight for Lucy -- and the planet known as Earth.
Download or read book Wish You Were Here written by Tom Holt and published by Hachette+ORM. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It was a busy day on Lake Chicopee, where an eclectic bunch of sightseers and tourists had the strange local residents rubbing their hands with delight. Among them was a young man from England, who was there because he knew about the legend of the ghost of Okeewana and what she promised.
