Dont Bathe With Uncle Joe

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Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781659189254
Total Pages : 26 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (892 download)

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Book Synopsis Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-01-11 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Uncle Joe got fired at work He said because his boss is a jerk Uncle Joe has allegations Mom and dad have reservations Uncle Joe is staying here Uncle Joe might offer you beer Careful not to take a sip Roofies are what he might slip Uncle Joe likes having baths Uncle Joe might touch your ass Keep your distance from his hands Even when he makes demands When in doubt you can just say no And never bathe with Uncle Joe

Conjoined Twins

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 26 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (227 download)

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Book Synopsis Conjoined Twins by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Conjoined Twins written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-03-08 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If one commits a crime do they both go to jail? What if one is dates a male and the other dates a female? How many seats do they buy on a plane? Can they read the thoughts in one another's brain? With eight limbs are they an octopus by definition? At the movies do they pay 2 admissions? If they share a butt who decides when to Poo? If one of them dies does the other die too? If one gets pregnant are they both the kid's mom? Will they ever find two dates for the prom? What If one gets into college and the other does not? What happens if just one wants to tie the knot? Do they need one passport or two? If one wants to have sex what does the other one do? Do they both get paralyzed if they share the same spine? Do they both get drunk if just one drinks wine?

Humpty Dumpty

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 26 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (739 download)

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Book Synopsis Humpty Dumpty by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Humpty Dumpty written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-29 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humpty Dumpty started a new job. Humpty Dumpty shows co- workers his knob. He makes jokes about sexual orientation. And emailed a co-worker with the subject: "Oral Fixation". He doesn't understand inappropriate touch. His secret Santa gifts are way too much. He's always suggesting awkward things. And gives people nicknames that really sting. He forwards emails that always offend. Always demanding Hugs that never seem to end. He makes offensive stereotypes when it comes to gender. When he gets in trouble he says he "didn't mean to offend her". His workplace activities are sexually inspired. And That's why Humpty Dumpty always gets fired.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

Author : Shirley Jackson
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 188 pages
Book Rating : 4.:/5 (3 download)

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Book Synopsis We Have Always Lived in the Castle by : Shirley Jackson

Download or read book We Have Always Lived in the Castle written by Shirley Jackson and published by . This book was released on 1962 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We Have Always Lived in the Castle is a deliciously unsettling novel about a perverse, isolated, and possibly murderous family and the struggle that ensues when a cousin arrives at their estate.

Uncle Joe's Muse

Author : Micah Thorp
Publisher : Open Books Publishing (UK)
ISBN 13 : 9781948598545
Total Pages : 216 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (985 download)

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Book Synopsis Uncle Joe's Muse by : Micah Thorp

Download or read book Uncle Joe's Muse written by Micah Thorp and published by Open Books Publishing (UK). This book was released on 2020-02-10 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A book of big heart, broad comedy, a clever wild ride and a damn good read."-Kim Taylor Blakemore, author of After Alice Fell and The Companion "Micah Thorp seamlessly weaves the past into present to explore the meaning of fatherhood and, just maybe, the meaning of life itself."-Jacqueline Vick, author of The Harlow Brothers Mysteries A down-and-out band, a girl searching for her father, and Jerry's guitar. The members of Uncle Joe's Band have spent years playing any venue that will pay for their unintelligible metal band performances while their rock and roll lifestyle has left them with bad livers, multiple divorces, and living in a squalid house in Vallejo, California. Then one morning everything changes when an assertive twelve-year-old girl named Allison appears on their front porch and announces that she has been sent to stay with her father for the summer. Meanwhile, years ago, the band's namesake and inspiration, Uncle Joe, takes a long strange trip as a vagabond hippie through the '60s, '70s, and '80s that includes brushes with Ken Kesey's bus, Watergate, the Pet Rock, Iran Contra, and Jerry Garcia. Inspired by their experience with Allison and their budding paternal instincts, recollections of Uncle Joe, and a well-played Stratocaster with the initials "JG", the members of Uncle Joe's Band begin to play a new tune in a major key.

Inside Out & Back Again

Author : Thanhha Lai
Publisher : Univ. of Queensland Press
ISBN 13 : 0702251178
Total Pages : 227 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (22 download)

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Book Synopsis Inside Out & Back Again by : Thanhha Lai

Download or read book Inside Out & Back Again written by Thanhha Lai and published by Univ. of Queensland Press. This book was released on 2013-03-01 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Moving to America turns H&à's life inside out. For all the 10 years of her life, H&à has only known Saigon: the thrills of its markets, the joy of its traditions, the warmth of her friends close by, and the beauty of her very own papaya tree. But now the Vietnam War has reached her home. H&à and her family are forced to flee as Saigon falls, and they board a ship headed toward hope. In America, H&à discovers the foreign world of Alabama: the coldness of its strangers, the dullness of its food, the strange shape of its landscape, and the strength of her very own family. This is the moving story of one girl's year of change, dreams, grief, and healing as she journeys from one country to another, one life to the next.

Flipped

Author : Wendelin Van Draanen
Publisher : Ember
ISBN 13 : 0375825444
Total Pages : 259 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (758 download)

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Book Synopsis Flipped by : Wendelin Van Draanen

Download or read book Flipped written by Wendelin Van Draanen and published by Ember. This book was released on 2003-05-13 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

Code Talker

Author : Joseph Bruchac
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101664800
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis Code Talker by : Joseph Bruchac

Download or read book Code Talker written by Joseph Bruchac and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-07-06 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Readers who choose the book for the attraction of Navajo code talking and the heat of battle will come away with more than they ever expected to find."—Booklist, starred review Throughout World War II, in the conflict fought against Japan, Navajo code talkers were a crucial part of the U.S. effort, sending messages back and forth in an unbreakable code that used their native language. They braved some of the heaviest fighting of the war, and with their code, they saved countless American lives. Yet their story remained classified for more than twenty years. But now Joseph Bruchac brings their stories to life for young adults through the riveting fictional tale of Ned Begay, a sixteen-year-old Navajo boy who becomes a code talker. His grueling journey is eye-opening and inspiring. This deeply affecting novel honors all of those young men, like Ned, who dared to serve, and it honors the culture and language of the Navajo Indians. An ALA Best Book for Young Adults "Nonsensational and accurate, Bruchac's tale is quietly inspiring..."—School Library Journal

Donkeybear

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 26 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (12 download)

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Book Synopsis Donkeybear by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Donkeybear written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-02-06 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sometimes your mom is something more. She may be your cousin which means therefore. You're inbred because your parents related. A brother and sister who shouldn't have mated. Billy-Bob was born from siblings who fucked. Cindy-Lou's parents, cousins of bad conduct. Skeeter's mom was also his granny. Mary Grace was birthed from her dad's sisters fanny. You're gonna be okay because you were mixed. A donkey and bear, it started with a kiss. Inbreeding began with kings and with queens. Trying to protect the purity of their genes

Daddy Drinks

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781077291454
Total Pages : 106 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (914 download)

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Book Synopsis Daddy Drinks by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Daddy Drinks written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2019-07 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For mature audiences only. Not for the easily offended! A hilarious look at children's books. I've designed book covers for 100 kids books that should never be published. With great titles like: Mom Can't Afford Car Payments, Dad Lost the House, Daddy's Moving Away, Daddy Committed Wire Fraud, Jesus Needs Mommy in Heaven, Mommy Killed Herself, How Daddy Got an STD, Why Daddy Hits Mommy, Mommy Turns Tricks, Don't Trust the Clown on 5th, My Dad the Junkie, Your Art Sucks, No Dinner Tonight, I'm Not Your Father, Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe, Don't Start Fires, Billy Starts a Pile-Up, Sleep Time for Mr. Mittens, Three Little Pigs Become Bacon, Don't Interrupt Group, Capital Punishment, Mom Joined an MLM, Kid Detective, Mom, Dad, Sarah and Don, Mom's Essential Oil's, My Parents and Siblings, Your Life Is a Lie and many more. The covers illustrated in in this book are a light hearted look at a difficult childhood. Try not to find yourself triggered by the one or two things that you decide are offensive. I can't be funny if I have to worry about you.

Camel Tony

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 32 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (326 download)

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Book Synopsis Camel Tony by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Camel Tony written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2021-04-03 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Camel Tony loves sandwiches with roast beef. Camel Tony Doesn't mind if you queef. He sits at the back of your yoga class. When you're in downward dog, he looks at your ass. Camel Tony likes to visit the beach. And he loves everything flavoured with peach. He'll pick up tampons when he shops. Wherever he goes, he brings a bucket and a mop. Camel Tony loves to eat lima beans. And he doesn't care if your vagina's clean. Camel Tony has a cute little Beagle. Camel Tony can teach you how to kegel. Camel Tony loves eating pie. And he never leaves a good woman dry. Camel Tony hangs out in coffee shops. Camel Tony loves to munch box. Camel Tony enjoys taking flowers. Camel Tony doesn't care if you shower. Camel Tony will always pet your kitty. But he won't pay any attention to your titties.

Race Wars

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Independently Published
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 28 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (428 download)

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Book Synopsis Race Wars by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Race Wars written by Brad Gosse and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2021-04-23 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Today is the day of the very big race. White car, black car and yellow car too. Who will win the race wars? If you only knew.

Candy Man Van

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 26 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (841 download)

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Book Synopsis Candy Man Van by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book Candy Man Van written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-09-08 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When we think of strangers we picture a van. Sometimes we picture a dirty old man. Sometimes there's candy. Sometimes there's a clown. Sometimes your mom's sick. In a hospital downtown. Strangers don't always appear to be strange. They don"t always look like the peeps on this page. The scariest strangers still offer you candy. But they don't look at all like sex offender randy. Pimps are strangers that aren't very funny. Leprechauns lure you with gold and with money. Creepy is the bee keeper who offers you honey. But whatever happens. Don't trust the easter bunny.

OK Boomer

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 32 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (136 download)

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Book Synopsis OK Boomer by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book OK Boomer written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-02-13 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Boomer always complains at the store. When yesterday's special isn't available anymore. Boomer gives unsolicited advice. Boomer always struggles with his device. Boomer demands your supervisor. And never orders the appetizer. Boomer travels all the time. And still maintains a landline. Boomer denies climate change. And always goes to the driving range. Boomer maintains a perfect lawn. To help forget the children have gone. Boomer unknowingly makes racial slurs. And doesn't believe in entrepreneurs. Boomer wants to tell you she's broke. And recognizes the signs of a stroke. Boomer still reads the morning paper. And protests against new skyscrapers. Boomer always trims his hedges. Against black people, she always alleges

14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 248 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (825 download)

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Book Synopsis 14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books by : Brad Gosse

Download or read book 14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-09-04 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 14 terrible books in one. Baa Baa Black Sheep. Conjoined Twins. Coronavirus and Friends. Creepy Creatures. Daddy Daughter Date Night. Dead Babies. Donkeybear. Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe. Meet The Hipsters. How Daddy Got an STD. Insomniac and Friends. Meet The Karens. My Racist Gran.

The Horseman

Author : J. P. S. Brown
Publisher : iUniverse
ISBN 13 : 0595341624
Total Pages : 305 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (953 download)

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Book Synopsis The Horseman by : J. P. S. Brown

Download or read book The Horseman written by J. P. S. Brown and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2005 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cattleman Ben Cowden accused of cattle theft and murder, and pursued by lawmen on the payroll of his enemies, makes an epic ride across two Arizona counties to clear his name.

Arlynn and John

Author : John Curtis Knight
Publisher : iUniverse
ISBN 13 : 9781469784595
Total Pages : 420 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (845 download)

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Book Synopsis Arlynn and John by : John Curtis Knight

Download or read book Arlynn and John written by John Curtis Knight and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2012-03-16 with total page 420 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In her eighty-four years, Arlynn Swope endured many of lifes greatest challenges. She knew illness, poverty, a near-death pregnancy, mental illness in her immediate family, and the suicide of her husband. She lived through the Great Depression and dropped out of school in the ninth grade to help her family survive the 1930s. But through it all, she faced each of the many rocks in her road with love and grit. Hers is an uncommon tale from a most common Hoosier woman, the little woman who was never little but was always there for those she loved. A veteran of the US Navy with an eleventh-grade education, John Curtis Knight didnt know what he was in for when he fell crazy in love with Arlynn. A welder and factory worker by trade, he built a reputation as a top amateur golfer who became a real player on his native Indiana courses. His life was built around Arlynn and their family, and they shared a rich adventure togetheruntil despair and paranoia led to his suicide when he was seventy-eight. Theirs is a true love story, one in which these two common Hoosiers share a life of uncommon love. Together they walked, pushed, pulled, and loved their way through it all.