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Don T Make Me Use My Mortician Voice Funny Funeral Director
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Book Synopsis Don T Make Me Use My Mortician Voice Funny Funeral Director by : Lawrence LINDSEY
Download or read book Don T Make Me Use My Mortician Voice Funny Funeral Director written by Lawrence LINDSEY and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-09 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Don t Make Me Use My Mortician Voice Funny Funeral Director/h3>
Book Synopsis Don't Make Me Use My Mortician Voice by : Creative Juices Publishing
Download or read book Don't Make Me Use My Mortician Voice written by Creative Juices Publishing and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-02-06 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lined 6x9 journal with 108 blank pages. This is the perfect and inexpensive birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's day, or any occasion gift for morticians to doodle, sketch, put stickers, write memories, or take notes in.
Book Synopsis Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by : Caitlin Doughty
Download or read book Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory written by Caitlin Doughty and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2014-09-15 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Morbid and illuminating" (Entertainment Weekly)—a young mortician goes behind the scenes of her curious profession. Armed with a degree in medieval history and a flair for the macabre, Caitlin Doughty took a job at a crematory and turned morbid curiosity into her life’s work. She cared for bodies of every color, shape, and affliction, and became an intrepid explorer in the world of the dead. In this best-selling memoir, brimming with gallows humor and vivid characters, she marvels at the gruesome history of undertaking and relates her unique coming-of-age story with bold curiosity and mordant wit. By turns hilarious, dark, and uplifting, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes reveals how the fear of dying warps our society and "will make you reconsider how our culture treats the dead" (San Francisco Chronicle).
Book Synopsis Confessions of a Funeral Director by : Caleb Wilde
Download or read book Confessions of a Funeral Director written by Caleb Wilde and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-09-26 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The blogger behind Confessions of a Funeral Director—what Time magazine called a "must read"—reflects on mortality and the powerful lessons death holds for every one of us in this compassionate and thoughtful spiritual memoir that combines the humor and insight of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes with the poignancy and brevity of When Breath Becomes Air. We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed: The family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial The act of embalming a little girl that offered a gift back to her grieving family The nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away The funeral that united a conflicted community Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde offers an intimate look into the business and a new perspective on living and dying
Book Synopsis Mortuary Confidential by : Kenneth McKenzie
Download or read book Mortuary Confidential written by Kenneth McKenzie and published by Kensington Books. This book was released on 2010 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From rookie mistakes and runaway corpses to screaming dead men and unusual requests, a collection of stories by funeral directors.
Book Synopsis The Flicker of Old Dreams by : Susan Henderson
Download or read book The Flicker of Old Dreams written by Susan Henderson and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2018-03-13 with total page 264 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The dead come to me vulnerable, sharing their stories and secrets. . . . Mary Crampton has spent all of her thirty years in Petroleum, a small western town once supported by its grain industry. Living at home, she works as the embalmer in her father’s mortuary: an unlikely job that has long marked her as an outsider. Yet, to Mary, there is a satisfying art to positioning and styling each body to capture the essence of a subject’s life. Though some townsfolk pretend that the community is thriving, the truth is that Petroleum is crumbling away—a process that began twenty years ago when an accident in the grain elevator killed a beloved high school athlete. The granary closed for good, the train no longer stopped in town, and Robert Golden, the victim’s younger brother, was widely blamed for the tragedy and shipped off to live elsewhere. Now, out of the blue, Robert has returned to care for his terminally ill mother. After Mary—reserved, introspective, and deeply lonely—strikes up an unlikely friendship with him, shocking the locals, she finally begins to consider what might happen if she dared to leave Petroleum. Set in America’s Great Plains, The Flicker of Old Dreams explores themes of resilience, redemption, and loyalty in prose as lyrical as it is powerful.
Book Synopsis Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? by : Caitlin Doughty
Download or read book Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? written by Caitlin Doughty and published by Thorndike Press Large Print. This book was released on 2019 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author and mortician Doughty answers real questions from kids about death, dead bodies, and decomposition.
Book Synopsis The Funeral Director's Son by : Coleen Murtagh Paratore
Download or read book The Funeral Director's Son written by Coleen Murtagh Paratore and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-08-05 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This family business is for life... In the small town of Clover, when you die, you are put to rest by Campbell and Sons Funeral Home. Unfortunately twelve-year-old Kip Campbell happens to be the only "son" in that title. And that's a problem for him since the funeral home business is the last thing he wants to inherit, even if he has a "gift" for it. See, it just so happens that Kip can talk to the dead. Well, they talk to him, really. They tell him what they need in order to move on to the great beyond. Kip wants to move too. Straight out of Clover. He's about to give notice -- he's done helping the dead -- when he's offered a surprising deal: Find out the secret that is holding back old Billy Blye, and Kip will receive his weight in gold. That would be enough to take him far away from Clover, and Campbell and Sons Funeral Home.
Book Synopsis Notes on Grief by : Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Download or read book Notes on Grief written by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and published by Knopf. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the globally acclaimed, best-selling novelist and author of We Should All Be Feminists, a timely and deeply personal account of the loss of her father: “With raw eloquence, Notes on Grief … captures the bewildering messiness of loss in a society that requires serenity, when you’d rather just scream. Grief is impolite ... Adichie’s words put welcome, authentic voice to this most universal of emotions, which is also one of the most universally avoided” (The Washington Post). Notes on Grief is an exquisite work of meditation, remembrance, and hope, written in the wake of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's beloved father’s death in the summer of 2020. As the COVID-19 pandemic raged around the world, and kept Adichie and her family members separated from one another, her father succumbed unexpectedly to complications of kidney failure. Expanding on her original New Yorker piece, Adichie shares how this loss shook her to her core. She writes about being one of the millions of people grieving this year; about the familial and cultural dimensions of grief and also about the loneliness and anger that are unavoidable in it. With signature precision of language, and glittering, devastating detail on the page—and never without touches of rich, honest humor—Adichie weaves together her own experience of her father’s death with threads of his life story, from his remarkable survival during the Biafran war, through a long career as a statistics professor, into the days of the pandemic in which he’d stay connected with his children and grandchildren over video chat from the family home in Abba, Nigeria. In the compact format of We Should All Be Feminists and Dear Ijeawele, Adichie delivers a gem of a book—a book that fundamentally connects us to one another as it probes one of the most universal human experiences. Notes on Grief is a book for this moment—a work readers will treasure and share now more than ever—and yet will prove durable and timeless, an indispensable addition to Adichie's canon.
Book Synopsis From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by : Caitlin Doughty
Download or read book From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death written by Caitlin Doughty and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2017-10-03 with total page 215 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times and Los Angeles Times Bestseller “Doughty chronicles [death] practices with tenderheartedness, a technician’s fascination, and an unsentimental respect for grief.” —Jill Lepore, The New Yorker Fascinated by our pervasive fear of dead bodies, mortician Caitlin Doughty embarks on a global expedition to discover how other cultures care for the dead. From Zoroastrian sky burials to wish-granting Bolivian skulls, she investigates the world’s funerary customs and expands our sense of what it means to treat the dead with dignity. Her account questions the rituals of the American funeral industry—especially chemical embalming—and suggests that the most effective traditions are those that allow mourners to personally attend to the body of the deceased. Exquisitely illustrated by artist Landis Blair, From Here to Eternity is an adventure into the morbid unknown, a fascinating tour through the unique ways people everywhere confront mortality.
Book Synopsis Driving with Dead People by : Monica Holloway
Download or read book Driving with Dead People written by Monica Holloway and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-12-09 with total page 476 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At nine years old, Monica Holloway develops a fascination with the local funeral home. Small wonder, with a father who drives his Ford pick up with a Kodak movie camera sitting shotgun just in case he sees an accident, and whose home movies feature more footage of disasters than of his children. In between her father's bouts of violence and abuse, Monica becomes fast friends with Julie Kilner, whose father is the town mortician. She and Julie preferred the casket showroom to the parks and grassy backyards in her hometown of Elk Grove, Ohio, where they would take turns lying in their favourite coffins. In time, Monica and Julie get a job driving the company hearse to pick up bodies from the airport, yet even Monica's growing independence can't protect her from her parents' irresponsibility, and from the feeling that she simply does not deserve to be safe. Little does she know, as she finally strikes out on her own, that her parents' biggest betrayal has yet to be revealed...
Book Synopsis The Stranger at the Feast by : Tom Boylston
Download or read book The Stranger at the Feast written by Tom Boylston and published by Univ of California Press. This book was released on 2018-02-06 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Introduction : prohibition and a ritual regime -- A history of mediation -- Fasting, bodies, and the calendar -- Proliferations of mediators -- Blood, silver, and coffee -- Spirits in the marketplace -- Concrete, bones, and feasts -- Echoes of the host -- The media landscape -- The knowledge of the world -- Conclusion
Book Synopsis Restorative Art and Science by : Ralph L. Klicker
Download or read book Restorative Art and Science written by Ralph L. Klicker and published by . This book was released on 2002 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Over Our Dead Bodies: by : Kenneth McKenzie
Download or read book Over Our Dead Bodies: written by Kenneth McKenzie and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2014-06-01 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover a more lighthearted side of the funeral industry in this collection of real-life stories from the authors of Mortuary Confidential. Not knowing what to do, I sat on the church steps and waited. As the gravity of my failure began to well up in me, I began to cry . . . I Had Lost The Hearse! Funerals and the all the things that accompany them are traditionally somber, contemplative events in which the bereaved look to their undertaker to guide them through that most difficult of times. Of course, sometimes tradition gets thrown under the bus. From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother’s wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who must make it all go as planned—even if it doesn’t. Praise for Mortuary Confidential “Outrageous funeral stories, dipped in beauty and morbid humor.” —Caleb Wilde, author of Confessions of a Funeral Director “Curious, wildly honest stories that need to be told, but just not at the dinner table.” —Dana Kollmann, author of Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand “As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral.” —Joe R. Lansdale, author of Moon Lake “Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book.” —Jonathan Maberry, Bram Stoker Award–winning author of They Bite! And Rot & Ruin “These true mortuary tales are poignant—and suddenly, gaspi
Book Synopsis The American Way of Death Revisited by : Jessica Mitford
Download or read book The American Way of Death Revisited written by Jessica Mitford and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2011-11-23 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Only the scathing wit and searching intelligence of Jessica Mitford could turn an exposé of the American funeral industry into a book that is at once deadly serious and side-splittingly funny. When first published in 1963, this landmark of investigative journalism became a runaway bestseller and resulted in legislation to protect grieving families from the unscrupulous sales practices of those in "the dismal trade." Just before her death in 1996, Mitford thoroughly revised and updated her classic study. The American Way of Death Revisited confronts new trends, including the success of the profession's lobbyists in Washington, inflated cremation costs, the telemarketing of pay-in-advance graves, and the effects of monopolies in a death-care industry now dominated by multinational corporations. With its hard-nosed consumer activism and a satiric vision out of Evelyn Waugh's novel The Loved One, The American Way of Death Revisited will not fail to inform, delight, and disturb. "Brilliant--hilarious. . . . A must-read for anyone planning to throw a funeral in their lifetime."--New York Post "Witty and penetrating--it speaks the truth."--The Washington Post
Book Synopsis Funeral Director Definition Journal by : Six Pointer
Download or read book Funeral Director Definition Journal written by Six Pointer and published by . This book was released on 2018-08-07 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Funeral Director- The Last One To Put A Smile On Your Face" funny, novelty, word definition journal gift has a glossy, soft cover, is 6 x 9 inches and has 150 lined pages (75 sheets) each with a full page pencil sketch graphic of a wood coffin, including a "This Journal Belongs To" page. This composition exercise notebook, diary, poetry writing journal or personal daily accounting of the crazy day and life of a funeral director is a handy size to take with you so you don't miss those inspired moments. Who knows, your notes of mortuary life may be the next hit tv show, book or movie! This funeral director, coffin, mortuary, goth themed journal book is a Unique and funny birthday, Christmas (great stocking stuffer), Mortuary College graduation or retirement gift idea for any man or woman Mortician, Embalmer, Funeral Director, apprentice embalmer, trade embalmer or mortuary science college student who works at a mortuary, funeral home or cemetery and knows how important a sense of humor is in the funeral business. Also makes a cool goth composition notebook for goth school supplies.
Book Synopsis Don't Make Me Use My Undertaker Voice by : Creative Juices Publishing
Download or read book Don't Make Me Use My Undertaker Voice written by Creative Juices Publishing and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-02 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lined 6x9 journal with 108 blank pages. This is the perfect and inexpensive birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's day, or any occasion gift for undertakers to doodle, sketch, put stickers, write memories, or take notes in.
