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Dave Barrys Book Of Bad Songs
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Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs written by Dave Barry and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-11-06 with total page 69 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The humorist asked his readers to share their least favorite tunes and chronicles the hilarious responses. When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. “I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey,” Barry wrote. Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world’s worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett. Praise for Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs “Barry is his usual puckish self, but the real surprise here is how funny many of the survey respondents are.” —Kirkus Reviews “Who can resist such a book?” —Publishers Weekly
Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs written by Dave Barry and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2000-03 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How "MacArthur Park" goes, so I sang it, giving it my best shot, and Rob laughed so hard that when I got to the part about leaving the cake out in the rain, and it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Rob was on the floor."
Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs written by Dave Barry and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 1997 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When funnyman and "Miami Herald" columnist Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response: more than 10,000 readers voted! Based on the results of this monumental survey, Barry has compiled a book filled with the lyrics of some of the worst songs ever written, including such special categories as "Teen Death Songs", "Songs That People Always Get Wrong", and, of course, "Weenie Music".
Download or read book Insane City written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-01-29 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him—and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable, from his very powerful, very disapproving soon-to-be father-in-law to the federal government to a love-struck orangutan. Seth’s hope for smooth sailing is turning into a trip on the Titanic. And the water is getting deeper by the minute…
Book Synopsis Dave Barry in Cyberspace by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry in Cyberspace written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1997-09-23 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES." --People A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts? Inside you'll find juicy bytes on How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia And much, much more! "VERY FUNNY . . . After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of the book as a kind of screen saver for your brain." --New York Times Book Review
Book Synopsis Touch Me, I'm Sick by : Tom Reynolds
Download or read book Touch Me, I'm Sick written by Tom Reynolds and published by Chicago Review Press. This book was released on 2008-05 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Love once inspired sonnets, plays, novels, and countless romantic songs. But romance can become obsession, and nowadays, love songs are creepier than ever. Even the Police's stalker anthem "Every Breath You Take" is a popular choice at weddings and funerals. In Touch Me, I'm Sick, Tom Reynolds offers hilarious riffs on 52 love songs that have gone off the rails into the realm of the tawdry, the overwhelming, the obsessive, the self-absorbed, and the completely weird. Including songs by artists as diverse as Melissa Etheridge, Michael Jackson, Paul Anka, Sinéad O'Connor, and Slipknot, he also pillories a handful of the 1,700 different songs called "Butterfly." Praise for Tom Reynolds' I Hate Myself and Want to Die: "A tremendous idea . . . Reynolds ameliorates the pain of having put his ear up close to some of the most inconsiderate despair anthems of our time by having enormous fun deconstructing them." --The Sunday Times "Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity-pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery." --NME "An entertaining and well-researched set of cautionary tales music fans will enjoy. Consider the list a batch of enthralling liner notes for a box set that comes with razor blades." --Playboy "Bridget Jones would love it." --The Scotsman
Book Synopsis Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2010-07-07 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • You can't make this stuff up. Dave Barry wouldn't lie—and here are the real life, laugh-out-loud stories from across America to prove it. Get up-close with Dave as he examines UFO thrillseekers and Elvis-worshippers, plays lead guitar with a horrifying rock band that includes Stephen King, and swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in stories like these: • a U.S. Supreme Court justice shares his remedy for preventing gas ("I had not realized that this was a matter of concern in the highest levels of government") • a newspaper headline in Ohio announces the combustibility of strawberry Pop-Tarts ("A story that can really help you gain a better understanding of how you can be killed by breakfast snack food") • a frightening fact that snakes have mastered the pipelines leading directly to your toilet—and they're not shy ("Many women might view this as a fair punishment for all the billions of times that guys have left the seat up"). "Barry is at his best." —The Baltimore Sun "He zaps the funny bone." —The Cincinnati Post
Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Money Secrets by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry's Money Secrets written by Dave Barry and published by Crown. This book was released on 2006-12-26 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.
Book Synopsis "My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old" by : Dave Barry
Download or read book "My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old" written by Dave Barry and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-02-05 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The popular humorist shares his hilarious observations and parenting and fatherhood. Dave Barry isn't just funny. His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that's often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life’s absurdities. In “My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old” and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. “Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying.”
Download or read book Lessons From Lucy written by Dave Barry and published by Simon & Schuster. This book was released on 2020-11-03 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this “little gem” (Washington Independent Review of Books), Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist and New York Times bestselling author Dave Barry learns how to age happily from his old but joyful dog, Lucy. As Dave Barry turns seventy—not happily—he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones—which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world’s oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it’s okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons From Lucy shows readers a new side to Dave Barry that’s “touching and sentimental, but there’s still a laugh on every page” (The Sacramento Bee). The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age.
Book Synopsis The Taming of the Screw by : Dave Barry
Download or read book The Taming of the Screw written by Dave Barry and published by Rodale Books. This book was released on 2000-05-05 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Barry concentrates on the popular topic of home repair.
Download or read book Best. State. Ever. written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2017-09-05 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times bestseller—a brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, “What the hell is wrong with Florida?” Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Join him as he goes in hunt of the legendary Skunk Ape; hobnobs with the mermaids of Weeki Wachee Springs; and visits Cassadaga, the psychic capital of the world, to have his dog's aura read (apparently, she's "very spiritual"). Hitch a ride for the non-stop thrills of alligator-wrestling ("the gators display the same fighting spirit as a Barcalounger"), the hair-raising spectacle of a clothing-optional bar in Key West, and the manly manliness of the Machine Gun Experience in Miami. It's the most hilarious book yet from “the funniest damn writer in the whole country” (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you'll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida—you can never say it's boring.
Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2010-07-28 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: TAKE YOUR TRAVEL TIPS FROM DAVE BARRY, A GUY WHO IS REALLY GONE! Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (France's National Underwear Changing Day is March 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including: - Air Travel (Or: Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed) - Traveling as a Family (Or: No, We Are NOT There Yet) - Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me! Where is the Big Mona Lisa?") - Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry
Book Synopsis Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster) by : Dave Barry
Download or read book Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster) written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-09-06 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now in paperback from the Pulitzer Prize winner, the hilarious New York Times–bestselling exploration of what generations can teach one another—or not. During the course of his life, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom, and he is eager to pass it on. Among other brilliant, brand-new pieces, Dave shares home truths with his new grandson and his daughter Sophie; explores the hometown of his youth, where all the parents seemed to be having un-Mad Men–like fun; and dives into firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin’s Russia.
Book Synopsis A Field Guide to the Jewish People by : Dave Barry
Download or read book A Field Guide to the Jewish People written by Dave Barry and published by Flatiron Books. This book was released on 2019-09-24 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From three award-winning and bestselling humor writers comes a hilarious guide to everything you need to know about Jewish history, holidays, and traditions. Why do random Jewish holidays keep springing up unexpectedly? Why are yarmulkes round? Who was the first Jewish comedian? What's "Christian humor" and have you ever even heard of that phrase? Who is "the Golem" and whom do you want it to beat up? These baffling questions and many more are answered by comedy legends Dave Barry, Adam Mansbach, and Alan Zweibel, two-thirds of whom are Jewish. In A Field Guide to the Jewish People the authors dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries. Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to laugh as you finally begin to understand the inner-workings of Judaism.
Download or read book Age and Guile written by P. J. O'Rourke and published by Open Road + Grove/Atlantic. This book was released on 2007-12-01 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The political humorist shares his transformation from dirty hippie to conservative middle-aged grouch: “An incorrigible comic gift” (The New York Times Book Review). The #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Give War a Chance was at one time a raving pinko, with scars on his formerly bleeding heart to prove it. In Age and Guile: Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut, P. J. O’Rourke chronicles the remarkable trajectory that took him from the lighthearted fun of the revolutionary barricades to the serious business of the nineteenth hole. How did the O’Rourke of 1970, who summarized the world of “grown-ups” as “materialism, sexual hang-ups, the Republican party, uncomfortable clothes, engagement rings, car accidents, Pat Boone, competition, patriotism, cheating, lying, ranch houses, and TV” come to be in favor of all of those things? What caused his metamorphosis from a beatnik-hippie type comfortable sleeping on dirty mattresses in pot-addled communes during his days as a writer for assorted “underground” papers? Here, O’Rourke shows how his socialist idealism and avant-garde aesthetic tendencies were cured, and how he acquired a healthy and commendable interest in national defense, balanced budgets, Porsches, and Cohiba cigars. From a former editor-in-chief of National Lampoon and frequent NPR guest, this hilarious essay collection shows that there’s hope for all those suffering from acute bohemianism.
Download or read book Dirty Girls written by Gillian Telling and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2010-09-01 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Naked Truth Isn't Always Pretty. A no-holds-barred look at the hilarious underbelly of what it means to be female, Dirty Girls lays bare the secrets of the fairer sex. Women don't come from a different planet than men. In fact, both sexes want the exact same things: success, friendships, semifunctional families, semifunctioning relationships, good bodies, and lots and lots of great sex. But there's more. Even though we pluck, we wax, and we put on war paint to mask our blemishes, we also regularly watch porn. We wear our bikini bottoms when we run out of clean underwear. When we're alone, we eat Cheetos and peanut butter on a spoon for dinner. Women are fascinating, beautiful, and, yes, disgusting creatures, and we shouldn't be ashamed of it. Dirty Girls exposes the filthy, lazy, fabulous truth that everything boys can do, girls can do better.
