Dave Barry Hits Below The Beltway

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Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 030780805X
Total Pages : 210 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (78 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2011-12-15 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just in time, Dave Barry supplies the wholly original, much needed history and guide to the new American politics and its three capitals, Washington, D.C., Austin, and South Florida. No surprise: it's hilarious. Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for President several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art) Barry has instead outdone himself. Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly rewritten Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself...) and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently.). Dave also cracks the income tax code, explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington, D.C., should end school class trips forever.

Dave Barry in Cyberspace

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0307758680
Total Pages : 226 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry in Cyberspace by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry in Cyberspace written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2010-09-29 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES." --People A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts? Inside you'll find juicy bytes on How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia And much, much more! "VERY FUNNY . . . After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of the book as a kind of screen saver for your brain." --New York Times Book Review

Dave Barry Talks Back

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Crown Archetype
ISBN 13 : 0307758729
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry Talks Back by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry Talks Back written by Dave Barry and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2010-12-29 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Yet another collection of Barry wit and wisdom by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and the author of Dave Barry Turns 40.

Insane City

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101609192
Total Pages : 357 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis Insane City by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Insane City written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-01-29 with total page 357 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him—and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable, from his very powerful, very disapproving soon-to-be father-in-law to the federal government to a love-struck orangutan. Seth’s hope for smooth sailing is turning into a trip on the Titanic. And the water is getting deeper by the minute…

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0345444108
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (454 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2001-10-30 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he’s been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things–like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like • The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires • The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects • Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe • The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling “Hey! I want some crack,” you can’t even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty “–chino” coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed.

Babies and Other Hazards of Sex

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Rodale
ISBN 13 : 9780878575107
Total Pages : 100 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (751 download)

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Book Synopsis Babies and Other Hazards of Sex by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Babies and Other Hazards of Sex written by Dave Barry and published by Rodale. This book was released on 1984 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A syndicated humorist discusses natural breathing and techniques to endure the ordeal of baby showers

Lunatics

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101565772
Total Pages : 348 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (15 download)

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Book Synopsis Lunatics by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Lunatics written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-01-10 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Philip Horkman is a happy man, the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for a local kids’ soccer league. Jeffrey Peckerman is the proud and loving father of a star athlete in the girls’ ten-and-under soccer league, and he’s not exactly happy with the ref. The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, subversives, bears, revolutionaries, pirates, and a black ops team that does not exist. Where all that takes them you can’t even begin to guess, but the literary journey there is a masterpiece of inspiration, chaos, and unadulterated, well, lunacy. And they might even learn a lesson or two along the way.

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0307758745
Total Pages : 270 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2010-07-28 with total page 270 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Dave Barry is one funny human." --San Francisco Examiner For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow. But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as: Scratching The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children The Noogie Gene Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate And much, much more "Whether you're a guy--or attempting to share a bathroom with one--Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you." --USA Today

Dave Barry Slept Here

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0307758710
Total Pages : 192 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry Slept Here by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry Slept Here written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2010-07-28 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “What caused the American Revolution? This is indeed a rhetorical question that for many years historians have begun chapters with. As well they should. For the American Revolution is without a doubt the single most important historical event to occur in this nation except of course for Super Bowl III (Jets 16. Colts 7. This historian won $35).” So goes the skewed sensibility, the muddied mind, the bent pen of one of America's funniest writers, Dave Barry. This time his subject is U.S. history, the way it's never been told before. Every single momentous event and crucial moment is covered, including . . . • The Birthing Contractions of a Nation • Kicking Some British Butt • Barging Westward • The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy • Deep Economic Doo-doo • The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death . . . and right up through the scintillating Reagan-Bush years, during which, Mr. Barry notes, America is steadfastly Napping Toward Glory. If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that “the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have a right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty,” Dave Barry Slept Here is the book you've been waiting for since 1776. Or at least since Super Bowl III. Praise for Dave Barry Slept Here “A dazzling performance . . . Barry is brilliant.”—The Washington Post Book World “[Dave] Barry turns his formidable wit to the subject of American history, with a result reminiscent of the Reduced Shakespeare Company: The better you know the original, the funnier it gets.”—Los Angeles Times “I fear that Mr. Barry's dream of making millions of dollars through mass sales of his book to a captive audience of innocent schoolchildren will not be realized, and he will have to be content with making readers laugh a lot, as this one did.”—The New York Times Book Review

Boogers Are My Beat

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Crown Archetype
ISBN 13 : 1400051215
Total Pages : 210 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis Boogers Are My Beat by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Boogers Are My Beat written by Dave Barry and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2003-09-23 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide. In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on: • The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”) • RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot • Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts • Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida without ‘duh’”) • The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating • The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui • The choice between death and taxes And much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11. Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh. Also available as an eBook

Dave Barry's Money Secrets

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Crown
ISBN 13 : 0307351009
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (73 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Money Secrets by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry's Money Secrets written by Dave Barry and published by Crown. This book was released on 2006-12-26 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.

Dave Barry's Gift Guide to End All Gift Guides

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Crown
ISBN 13 : 9780517799529
Total Pages : 136 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (995 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Gift Guide to End All Gift Guides by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry's Gift Guide to End All Gift Guides written by Dave Barry and published by Crown. This book was released on 1994 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The humorist presents a selection of more than fifty one-of-a-kind gifts for the discriminating individual, furnishing vendor names, prices, and addresses for such treasures as elephant-print Republican pants and a capsule of rodent bones regurgitated by an owl.

Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1449437583
Total Pages : 69 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (494 download)

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Book Synopsis Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs by : Dave Barry

Download or read book Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs written by Dave Barry and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-11-06 with total page 69 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The humorist asked his readers to share their least favorite tunes and chronicles the hilarious responses. When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. “I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey,” Barry wrote. Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world’s worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett. Praise for Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs “Barry is his usual puckish self, but the real surprise here is how funny many of the survey respondents are.” —Kirkus Reviews “Who can resist such a book?” —Publishers Weekly

Dancing with the Devil

Author : Mark Curry
Publisher : NewMark Books
ISBN 13 : 0615276504
Total Pages : 268 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (152 download)

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Book Synopsis Dancing with the Devil by : Mark Curry

Download or read book Dancing with the Devil written by Mark Curry and published by NewMark Books. This book was released on 2009 with total page 268 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He has recorded with the biggest stars in the music business. He wrote many of the hits that made Sean "Puffy" Combs one of the richest men alive. On the surface, the multi-million dollar empire that Puff built looks like the stuff of dreams. But after working with Puff for a decade, Curry discovered that Bad Boy Entertainment is not, as Puff promised, a place where dreams come true. No, rather it is a shell game comprised of contracts designed to rob artists of their time, dreams and publishing rights. [i]Dancing With the Devil[/i] reveals startling new details about key events in the fast paced, controversial (and sometimes deadly) world of Hip-Hop. In revealing the dark side of the industry, Curry hopes to provide a road map for reforms necessary to prevent artists ending up in poverty, in prison or in the grave.Mark Curry has appeared on the following albums:[i]Gangsta Shi-[/i][i]Dangerous MC's[/i][i]American Dream[/i]Mark Curry has appeared on the following singles:[i]Bad Boy for Life[/i]

Sir Lancelot, Where Are You?

Author : Kate McMullan
Publisher : ABDO
ISBN 13 : 9781599613796
Total Pages : 116 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (137 download)

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Book Synopsis Sir Lancelot, Where Are You? by : Kate McMullan

Download or read book Sir Lancelot, Where Are You? written by Kate McMullan and published by ABDO. This book was released on 2007-09 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After the witch, Morgana le Fay, puts a curse on Sir Lancelot, three knights-in-training from the Dragon Slayers' Academy set out to save him.

Wealth and Power

Author : Orville Schell
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 0679643478
Total Pages : 497 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (796 download)

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Book Synopsis Wealth and Power by : Orville Schell

Download or read book Wealth and Power written by Orville Schell and published by . This book was released on 2013 with total page 497 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Two leading experts on China evaluate its rise throughout the past one hundred fifty years, sharing portraits of key intellectual and political leaders to explain how China transformed from a country under foreign assault to a world giant.

For Love of the Game

Author : Michael Shaara
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0345408926
Total Pages : 162 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (454 download)

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Book Synopsis For Love of the Game by : Michael Shaara

Download or read book For Love of the Game written by Michael Shaara and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1997-03-11 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Moving, beautiful . . . If Hemingway had written a baseball novel, he might have written For Love of the Game.”—Los Angeles Times Billy Chapel is a baseball legend, after seventeen season a sure Hall of Famer. He is a man who has retained the endearing qualities of youth, a man who has devoted his life to the game he loves and plays so well. But, because of his unsurpassed skill and innocent faith, he has been betrayed. It's the final game of the season, and Billy's got one last chance to prove who he is and what he can do, a chance to prove what really matters in this life. A taut, compelling story of one man's coming of age, For Love of the Game is Michael Shaara's final novel, the classic finish to a brilliantly distinguished literary career. Praise for For Love of the Game “A delightful and lyrical story about a great athlete's momentous last game . . . A fairy tale for adults about love and loneliness and finally growing up.”—USA Today “An endearing, timeless novel that can be enjoyed by both serious readers and baseball lovers for generations to come.”—The Orlando Sentinel