Cool Calm Contentious

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Cool, Calm & Contentious

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Villard
ISBN 13 : 0345518926
Total Pages : 305 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (455 download)

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Book Synopsis Cool, Calm & Contentious by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book Cool, Calm & Contentious written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2012-08-07 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This is so well written. [When a book like this] comes along, it’s, like, ‘Thank you!’ What a great way to spend an afternoon, an evening, reading these essays. . . . Absolutely great.”—Jon Stewart “[Merrill] Markoe is easily as funny as David Sedaris. She’s capable of manic riffs and acerbic skewering. Still, her good nature shines through.”—The Washington Post In this hilarious collection of candid essays, including two pieces new to this edition, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals much about her personal life—as well as the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and—voilà—you’re funny! Cool, Calm & Contentious is honest, unapologetic, sometimes heartbreaking, but always shot through with Merrill Markoe’s biting, bracing wit. “This has been a great year for funny women. . . . Let’s call Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling exhibits A and B. Both owe a debt to those who came before, including Merrill Markoe.”—The Boston Globe “Markoe’s goal is to find the absurdity in everyday life. That, coupled with her sharp wit, makes her writing sublime.”—BookPage “Laugh-out-loud humor.”—Tampa Bay Times “Not only crazy-funny, but crazy-heartbreaking.”—The New York Times

Cool, Calm and Contentious

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Villard Books
ISBN 13 : 9780345518910
Total Pages : 269 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (189 download)

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Book Synopsis Cool, Calm and Contentious by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book Cool, Calm and Contentious written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard Books. This book was released on 2011 with total page 269 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The best-selling author of Nose Down, Eyes Up presents an original collection of personal essays that celebrates the ridiculousness of topics ranging from losing one's virginity and managing a crazy mother to navigating narcissistic egos and humoring selfish canine companions.

We Saw Scenery

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Algonquin Books
ISBN 13 : 1616209038
Total Pages : 289 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (162 download)

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Book Synopsis We Saw Scenery by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book We Saw Scenery written by Merrill Markoe and published by Algonquin Books. This book was released on 2020-10-13 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Merrill Markoe got all the talent. In addition to being an Emmy-award winning comedy writer, she's also a top-notch artist. We Saw Scenery is revealing, sad, funny, and, above all, relatable. Merrill captures the experience of a young woman finding—and holding onto—her own voice. And we’re all lucky she did.” —Nell Scovell, author of Just the Funny Parts In her first-ever graphic memoir, four-time Emmy-winning comedy writer Merrill Markoe unearths her treasured diaries, long kept under lock and key, to illustrate the hilarious story of her preteen and teen years and how she came to realize that her secret power was her humor. Wielding her layered and comically absurd style, Markoe takes readers back through her time as a Girl Scout, where she learned that “scouting” was really more about learning housewifery skills, to her earliest crushes on uniquely awful boys and her growing obsession with television. Much has changed in our world since Markoe wrote in her diaries, or has it? Climate change wasn’t yet a rallying call, but the growing hole in the ozone preoccupied Markoe’s young mind. No one was flocking to the desert for Burning Man, but Markoe readily partook in the Ken Kesey Acid Test. As she charts the divide between her adolescence and adulthood, Markoe questions and berates her younger self, revealing how much is opaque to us in those young years. Perfect for fans of Roz Chast, Allie Brosh, and Lynda Barry, We Saw Scenery is a laugh-out-loud story of a girl growing up, told from the perspective of the woman she became, and it will speak to all who wanted to understand themselves in the midst of their own maturing.

Late Night with David Letterman

Author : David Letterman
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 292 pages
Book Rating : 4.:/5 (321 download)

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Book Synopsis Late Night with David Letterman by : David Letterman

Download or read book Late Night with David Letterman written by David Letterman and published by . This book was released on 1985 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of skits, cartoons, and photos involving David Letterman's late-night television show.

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Villard
ISBN 13 : 1588365654
Total Pages : 285 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (883 download)

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Book Synopsis Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book Walking in Circles Before Lying Down written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2006-08-01 with total page 285 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dawn Tarnauer’s life isn’t exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living “off the grid,” her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations, her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life’s work: The Every Holiday Tree, and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night. Dawn’s only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he’s leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. “I should have said something sooner,” Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. “Couldn’t you smell her on his pants?” Dawn is stunned. It’s one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back? It’s not just Chuck, either; she can hear all dogs–and man’s best friend has a lot to say. The ever-enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried-and-true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere, auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette, and the curative powers of tossing a ball. Doubtful of her own sanity, Dawn considers that, in the ways of life and love, it might be better to trust Chuck’s doggie instincts instead of her own. Filled with sharp wit, biting humor, and canine conversation that would make Doctor Dolittle’s jaw drop, Merrill Markoe’s engaging, cleverly written novel is about the confusing search for love and the divine acts of dog.

What the Dogs Have Taught Me

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Villard
ISBN 13 : 0307498697
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (74 download)

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Book Synopsis What the Dogs Have Taught Me by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book What the Dogs Have Taught Me written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2011-08-24 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Award-winning comedy writer Merrill Markoe, the slightly warped mind behind Stupid Pet Tricks, is an old hand with dogs. She knows who’s boss (they are) and the myriad ways a loving pet can make you feel guilty twenty-four hours a day. This new edition of Merrill Markoe’s classic collection of humorous essays gives readers the choicest selections along with brand-new material. In these razor-sharp essays, Markoe recounts her dogs’ phone chats with animal communicators, her search for past lives, and her brief stint as a stun gun saleswoman. She describes the workshop that taught her how to launch an Internet porn business and another that gave proper instruction in the esoteric art of becoming a dominatrix. She shares insight into what it is like to structure your day using only dog rules, how to spot a really horrible restaurant, and what it’s like to have a romantic dinner with Fabio. There’s even a bright side to preparing for the apocalypse: “At last, it is time to forget about fat grams and low cholesterol.” This enchantingly rambunctious and boundlessly enjoyable book gives you Merrill Markoe at her best. You’ll devour it in one sitting (and so may your pet).

The Psycho Ex Game

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Villard
ISBN 13 : 0307417328
Total Pages : 434 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (74 download)

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Book Synopsis The Psycho Ex Game by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book The Psycho Ex Game written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lisa Roberty is a successful screenwriter with an impoverished social life who’s enduring a demoralizing job at the mind-numbing sitcom You Go, Girl. Grant Repka is an obscure indie rock musician who, in his forties, finds his career surprisingly resurrected with the success of his comic operetta about the doomed romance of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson. When Grant and Lisa meet after one of his shows, sparks don’t immediately fly—but e-mail addresses are exchanged. A my-book-for-your-CD trade and a couple of e-mails later, Lisa tells Grant that she enjoys his song “My Psycho Ex,” but warns him that where psycho-exes are concerned, she’s pretty sure she “could drink him under the table.” Little does she know that this will become the opening salvo in an epic e-mail battle dubbed the Psycho Ex Game, a storytelling competition in which horrific tales of dysfunctional love and living with lunatics are volleyed with glee. The rules are simple; the point system, unique: the experiences that would normally leave someone running for the therapist’s office (humiliation, degradation, and complicity in psychotic behavior) just might win match point in the Psycho Ex Game. Now it’s Grant vs. Lisa as the wretched tales of his ex, the Junkie Queen of Darkness, vie with the woe inflicted by her ex, a tantrum-throwing actor/director widely known as Mr. Summer Box Office Record-Holder. As the correspondence evolves, it surprises Lisa by offering her the kind of intimacy she has never shared with a man in the same room. Before long, what started as a friendly competition becomes a road map to an unlikely couple’s growing involvement, leaving both Grant and Lisa secretly wondering, “If we were to get involved, which one of us is potentially the next Psycho Ex?” Written in alternating he said/she said chapters, The Psycho Ex Game is shot through with the acerbic humor of Merrill Markoe and the mordant observations that have made Andy Prieboy a literate voice in rock. The Psycho Ex Game is a hilarious dissection of injuries sustained on the front lines of romance—and the careful nursing that gets us battleready once again.

It's My F---ing Birthday

Author : Merrill Markoe
Publisher : Villard
ISBN 13 : 0307415724
Total Pages : 226 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (74 download)

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Book Synopsis It's My F---ing Birthday by : Merrill Markoe

Download or read book It's My F---ing Birthday written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “In the coming year,” she said, hoisting her blindingly clean and gleaming glass into the air, “may half of all your dreams come true.” “Mom,” I said to her, “isn’t that kind of pathetic?” “Well, it’s realistic.” It’s her thirty-sixth birthday, and she really thought things would be different this year—that she’d have figured out men and how to get along with her narcissistic parents enough to survive a birthday celebration. But nothing’s changed. Her disappointing day is capped off by the delivery of a huge bouquet of flowers from Carl, with whom she has recently, and bitterly, split. A gesture of reconciliation? Of passive aggression? She’s too unhinged to tell. It’s My F---ing Birthday unfolds in seven state-of-my-life addresses this hapless high school art teacher writes to herself on consecutive birthdays, as she is determined to break the patterns of behavior that are keeping her down. Her objective: to avoid making the same mistakes over and over and start making some new ones. Through seven outrageously funny years of needling parents, self-absorbed boyfriends, riots, O.J., and Monica—and bigger and bigger bouquets from Carl—she navigates a circuitous (and ultimately successful) route to happiness in a world where everything seems to conspire to the contrary. What I Learned This Year That I Need to Remember 1. No more taking the bait from Mom. Even if the fight becomes about not taking the bait. 2. No more dwelling in the past. 3. Try much harder to continue being a vegetarian. This will limit the restaurants the folks can take me to. 4. No more trying to decode the flowers from Carl. If he sends them again, just think of them as a fun, free thing, like a little sample box of cereal or detergent that suddenly appears in the mailbox. 5. Don’t make a big deal out of the fact that there were no guys this year. Perhaps that’s a better thing than continuing to get involved with guys who exhibit behavior from the beginning that indicates the whole thing is completely hopeless. So try to remember the above as a coping strategy when I am so crazed with horniness that I want to throw myself off a building. 6. No more mumbo jumbo. This means no more calling 900 astrology numbers listed at the end of horoscopes in women’s magazines to find out my love forecast. And no more going to psychics, no matter how dicey things get.

Eat the Document

Author : Dana Spiotta
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 0743272986
Total Pages : 305 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (432 download)

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Book Synopsis Eat the Document by : Dana Spiotta

Download or read book Eat the Document written by Dana Spiotta and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2006 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Publisher Description

A Life Less Throwaway

Author : Tara Button
Publisher : Ten Speed Press
ISBN 13 : 0399582517
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (995 download)

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Book Synopsis A Life Less Throwaway by : Tara Button

Download or read book A Life Less Throwaway written by Tara Button and published by Ten Speed Press. This book was released on 2018-06-19 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A revolutionary guide to the art of mindful buying that will teach you how to resist cheaply made goods and make smart, fulfilling purchases that last a lifetime. With the whole world trying to convince us to spend our way to happiness, we’ve been left cluttered, stressed, and unfulfilled. Tara Button, founder of BuyMeOnce, is at the forefront of the global movement to change the way we shop and live forever. Tara advocates a life of mindful buying that celebrates what lasts, giving you exercises that help you curb impulses, ignore trends, and discover your true style. Once a shopaholic herself, her groundbreaking mindful curation method reveals the amazing benefits of buying for life and will help you: • Spot the tricks that make you overspend • De-clutter your home • Find the products that serve you best • Rediscover the art of keeping and caring for things • Find happiness, success, and self-worth, beyond buying

Good King Richard?

Author : Jeremy Potter
Publisher : A&C Black
ISBN 13 : 1448214122
Total Pages : 232 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (482 download)

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Book Synopsis Good King Richard? by : Jeremy Potter

Download or read book Good King Richard? written by Jeremy Potter and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2014-04-20 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Richard III, the so-called 'last English King of England' and the wicked uncle of tradition, is the most controversial and enigmatic of monarchs. Could he really have been as sinister as he was painted by Tudor chroniclers and, if he wasn't, why do some historians go on saying that he was? Why is his enlightened legislation so little noticed? Is there any real evidence that he murdered his nephews, the princes in the Tower? Did he really have a hunchback or was it invented for him after his death as 'proof of villainy'? Is Shakespeare's Richard III a portrayal of the real Richard or no more than a character in a work of fiction? Was St Thomas More really a witness of truth? Good King Richard? Is an account of Richard III's life and times, character, appearance and reign, but above all, of the Great Debate which has raged since his death between traditionalists and revisionists. First published in 1983, to mark the 500th anniversary of his accession to the throne, Jeremy Potter's Good King Richard? is a history of his reputation from 1483 to 1983. Jeremy Potter was Chairman of the Richard III Society from 1971 until 1989. The 2014 Bloomsbury Reader edition of Good King Richard? is introduced by Peter and Carolyn Hammond from Richard III Society who discuss Jeremy Potter's account in the light of the recent archaeological discoveries of Richard's skeleton, and the location of the battlefield on which Bosworth was fought. "This book, Good King Richard?, is not a biography but is a discussion of the ebb and flow of Richard III's reputation, both in the academic world and in popular estimation. Since Jeremy wrote it there have been two major events, all archaeological, which impinge on the life of Richard III and which Jeremy would have wanted to at least mention although they do not realign Richard's reputation in any major way.†?

HIS EXPECTANT EX

Author : Catherine Mann
Publisher : Harlequin / SB Creative
ISBN 13 : 4596262551
Total Pages : 128 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (962 download)

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Book Synopsis HIS EXPECTANT EX by : Catherine Mann

Download or read book HIS EXPECTANT EX written by Catherine Mann and published by Harlequin / SB Creative. This book was released on 2018-03-08 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Marianna had at last finalized her divorce with her former husband, Sebastian. They still loved each other, but they couldn’t overcome the hardship of losing two children. Then, the day before the divorce was finalized, Marianna found out she was pregnant. She was conflicted about whether they should still divorce, but she remained silent and allowed it to go forward. As they left the courthouse, she told her now ex-husband, Sebastian, about her pregnancy. He was shocked, but there was nothing he could do…was there?

Little Labors

Author : Rivka Galchen
Publisher : New Directions Publishing
ISBN 13 : 0811222977
Total Pages : 96 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (112 download)

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Book Synopsis Little Labors by : Rivka Galchen

Download or read book Little Labors written by Rivka Galchen and published by New Directions Publishing. This book was released on 2019-03-26 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In paperback at last: Rivka Galchen’s beloved baby bible—slyly hilarious, surprising, and absolutely essential reading for anyone who has ever had, held, or been a baby In this enchanting miscellany, Galchen notes that literature has more dogs than babies (and also more abortions), that the tally of children for many great women writers—Jane Bowles, Elizabeth Bishop, Virginia Woolf, Janet Frame, Willa Cather, Patricia Highsmith, Iris Murdoch, Djuna Barnes, Mavis Gallant—is zero, that orange is the new baby pink, that The Tale of Genji has no plot but plenty of drama about paternity, that babies exude an intoxicating black magic, and that a baby is a goldmine.

Daddy, Stop Talking!

Author : Adam Carolla
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062394274
Total Pages : 229 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (623 download)

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Book Synopsis Daddy, Stop Talking! by : Adam Carolla

Download or read book Daddy, Stop Talking! written by Adam Carolla and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2015-05-26 with total page 229 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

Ernie

Author : Tony Mendoza
Publisher : Chronicle Books
ISBN 13 : 9780811829632
Total Pages : 218 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (296 download)

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Book Synopsis Ernie by : Tony Mendoza

Download or read book Ernie written by Tony Mendoza and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2001-02 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With 55 black-and-white photos, this is a an intimate look at the absurd shenanigans and perverse expressions of the author's cat Ernie, and is now back in print for the first time in years.

Political Waters

Author : Eric Jay Dolin
Publisher : Univ of Massachusetts Press
ISBN 13 : 9781558496415
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (964 download)

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Book Synopsis Political Waters by : Eric Jay Dolin

Download or read book Political Waters written by Eric Jay Dolin and published by Univ of Massachusetts Press. This book was released on 2008-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Boston Harbor served as a colonial gateway to the world, witnessed the Boston Tea Party, and helped the community transform itself from an outpost of a few hardy settlers into a bustling metropolis and self-proclaimed hub of the universe. Yet for hundreds of years Boston Harbor was also a cesspool. Long before Bostonians dumped tea into the harbor to protest English taxes, they dumped sewage there. As the Boston area grew and prospered, its sewage problems worsened, as did the harbor's health, to the point where in the 1980s it was considered the most polluted harbor in the country and ridiculed as the harbor of shame. Then, in one of the most impressive environmental comebacks in American history, Boston Harbor was dramatically cleaned up. All it took was two lawsuits, two courts, dozens of lawyers, the creation of a powerful sewage authority, thousands of workers, millions of labor hours, and billions of dollars. Sewage management is rarely as compelling and exciting as higher profile environmental issues such as global climate change, preserving endangered species, or protecting tropical rainforests. But it can be, as Eric Jay Dolin shows in this engaging narrative account. Boston's struggle to deal with its sewage is an epic story of failure and success, replete with colorful characters, political, bureaucratic, and legal twists and turns, engineering feats, and massive amounts of money. In the end, success hinged on the often overlooked yet monumentally important act of responsibly disposing of the waste people produce every day.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother

Author : Julia Sweeney
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451674058
Total Pages : 256 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

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Book Synopsis If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother by : Julia Sweeney

Download or read book If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother written by Julia Sweeney and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-04-08 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Shares the author's parenting misadventures, from her decision to adopt as a single woman and her transition to a stay-at-home mom after marriage to her efforts to explain the birds and the bees to her precocious eight-year-old.