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Airport Aviation Humor
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Book Synopsis Airport & Aviation Humor by : Barney Smith
Download or read book Airport & Aviation Humor written by Barney Smith and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2010-07-27 with total page 125 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to share the lighter side of airport and aviation employees. The vast majority of people I encountered at the airport [from all classes and careers], enjoyed humor. Additionally, I found that the average person can recognize the difference between fact and fiction, truth and lies and more importantly, humor versus sarcasm. As I mentioned earlier, humor has been determined to be a stress reducer, and often, a means of increasing morale. Remember, I referred to actual passengers and employees in trying to encourage the innocent while protecting the guilty.
Download or read book How Lost Is Lost? written by Core Keller and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2004 with total page 134 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here's aviation humor with a twist of fun! Sift through a flight attendant's logbook. Discover what really goes on in the cockpit of a major airline. Learn the real differences between male and female pilots. Enjoy an aviation fashion show featuring funny black and white photos. There's even jokes about CFI's and student pilots and ATC! Keller brings a refreshing style of humor to the world of aviation. First officer: "Captain, do you think we can break the sound barrier with all of this luggage?"
Download or read book Aviation Humor written by Core F. Keller and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2002 with total page 124 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you're into aviation, this book is a must. Learn about the distinctions between helicopter and airplane pilots in a joking way. This book is a great way to break the ice, especially at a party. Considering learning to fly? Read this book before making up your mind about what you want to fly. You might be surprised at what you might learn.
Download or read book Aviation Humor written by Core F. Keller and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2002-10-24 with total page 125 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you're into aviation, this book is a must. Learn about the distinctions between helicopter and airplane pilots in a joking way. This book is a great way to break the ice, especially at a party.
Book Synopsis Frequent Flyer Humor and One-Upmanship by : George W. Stewart
Download or read book Frequent Flyer Humor and One-Upmanship written by George W. Stewart and published by Dog Ear Publishing. This book was released on 2011-04 with total page 238 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On a nice little De Havilland twin prop, Toronto to Baltimore: "Okay, so we have fifteen of you today. Anyone not flown before? Good. No virgins. Then I'll do the short version. Exits over the wings, life jackets beneath the seats, oxygen masks drop out of the ceiling, put them on in the usual fashion. Seats up. Belts on. Read the cards. Enjoy your flight. Questions?" You're traveling too much when you see the same flight attendant twice in the same day. Tower: "Cleared to land; winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR (runway visual range) 2,000 feet." Pilot: "Roger. Cleared to land; and Oh, let us know if it gets any worse." Tower: "Worse?" Jet Lag: "Wallet in refrigerator. Where's the milk?" "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight." "We're ready to begin boarding Flight 1234 with service from Miami to Atlanta. Due to a weight problem with the aircraft, we are going to limit you to one piece of carry-on luggage. Any additional items will have to be checked." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant came on with: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash has brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." Two airline mechanics were working on a 747 when lunchtime came. Rather than leave what they were doing, they just took their lunch break while sitting in the cockpit. As they were eating lunch, one mechanic bet the other that the landing gear wouldn't retract if he pulled the gear lever up. He lost. Near the conclusion of an extremely turbulent American Airlines flight, a cabin attendant finished his "stowed-tray-table-and-upright-seat" speech with a cheerful, "We'd like to thank you for flying American Airlines. But if you were displeased with the flight, thank you for flying United."
Book Synopsis Airplane Reading by : Christopher Schaberg
Download or read book Airplane Reading written by Christopher Schaberg and published by John Hunt Publishing. This book was released on 2016-07-29 with total page 207 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Airplane Reading, Christopher Schaberg and Mark Yakich bring together a range of essays about air travel. Discerning and full of wonder, this prismatic collection features perspectives from a variety of writers, airline workers, and everyday travelers. At turns irreverent, philosophical, and earnest, each essay is a veritable journey in and of itself. And together, they illuminate the at once strange and ordinary world of flight. Contributors: Lisa Kay Adam • Sarah Allison • Jane Armstrong • Thomas Beller • Ian Bogost • Alicia Catt • Laura Cayouette • Kim Chinquee • Lucy Corin • Douglas R. Dechow • Nicoletta-Laura Dobrescu • Tony D’Souza • Jeani Elbaum • Pia Z. Ehrhardt • Roxane Gay • Thomas Gibbs • Aaron Gilbreath • Anne Gisleson • Anya Groner • Julian Hanna • Rebecca Renee Hess • Susan Hodara • Pam Houston • Harold Jaffe • Chelsey Johnson • Nina Katchadourian • Alethea Kehas • Greg Keeler • Alison Kinney • Anna Leahy • Allyson Goldin Loomis • Jason Harrington • Kevin Haworth • Randy Malamud • Dustin Michael • Ander Monson • Timothy Morton • Peter Olson • Christiana Z. Peppard • Amanda Pleva • Arthur Plotnik • Neal Pollack • Connie Porter • Stephen Rea • Hugo Reinert • Jack Saux • Roger Sedarat • Nicole Sheets • Stewart Sinclair • Hal Sirowitz • Jess Stoner • Anca L. Szilágyi • Priscila Uppal • Matthew Vollmer • Joanna Walsh • Tarn Wilson
Download or read book Aviation Humor written by Martin Leeuwis and published by . This book was released on 2012 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Contact Flying written by Jim Dulin and published by Contact Flying. This book was released on 2008-05 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Unlike conventional aviation authors and instructors I do not teach primary flying, crop dusting, pipeline patrol flying, bush flying, helicopter medical evacuation flying, and air to ground gunnery using instruments inside the aircraft as the primary situational awareness tool. Rather I teach Dutch rolls, slow flight and stalls over the runway, the energy management turns, use of ground effect on all takeoffs, the brisk walk apparent rate of closure approach, hover taxi in fixed wing aircraft, and low level low power mountain flying using sights, sounds, smells, and kinetics. Sight is used 99.9% of the time looking at the ground. Airspeed, nor any other instrument is used in takeoff or landing. This text teaches the art of flying in the old style at low level using ground references. Its author has over sixteen thousand hours of flying Army helicopters, crop dusters, and pipeline patrol airplanes at three feet to five hundred feet above ground level.
Book Synopsis Does That Mean I Fail? by : Brooks Black
Download or read book Does That Mean I Fail? written by Brooks Black and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on 2014-03-25 with total page 142 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Does That Mean I Fail?: A Humorous Look at Pilot Checkrides by Brooks Black As collection of humorous first-hand accounts of pilot check-rides, Does That Mean I Fail? is geared towards both pilots and non-pilots. After years of Designated Pilot Examiners (DPEs) thinking and saying, "Nobody would believe this," and, "Somebody should write a book," Brooks Black finally has. Does That Mean I Fail? is the result of nearly 100 check-rides and the author's own personal experiences. Combined, they allow for new and unique insight into the exciting world behind flight. Brook Black's writing reads with a good dose of humor and information. It is at once highly detailed and exciting. Does That Mean I Fail? is sure to both entertain and enlighten. About the Author Born and raised in Toledo, Ohio in 1943, Brooks Black went on to earn a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of Toledo. He began flying in 1967 and is a pilot, flight and ground instructor, aircraft mechanic and Designated Pilot Examiner. He also received certification as an Aircraft Accident Investigator from the University of Southern California. The stories from Does That Mean I Fail? result from his DPE career. He is also a USCG captain, certified to operate up to a 100-ton vessel and has roughly 17,000 flight hours. He is married with one daughter. He and his wife, Lena, enjoy cruise ship travel, and they own a SeaRay 34 Express. Brooks Black also enjoys model railroads and once served as president of the Palm Beach Model Railroad Club. His family also includes the love of four Maltese, two of which were bred and raised in their home.
Download or read book You Said What??? written by V.J. STARR. and published by Author House. This book was released on 2009-08-28 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Author Valerie Ralph's book, "You Said What???" takes the reader on a hilarious trip to the other side of Customer Service. She reveals the comical, uncommon and sometimes sad things people say when speaking with customer service representatives. The book shines a humorous light on the often complicated machinations and requests from callers seeking travel arrangements to various destinations from Portland, Oregon to Peking, China. The public's visions of the world and others around them, offer the reader a healthy dose of irony and reality. Along with each new situation an airline call center agent encounters, comes the realization that many callers can be counted on to present a variety of issues, some unpredictable, some insane. As you journey through the following pages you will find yourself laughing, scratching your head and vowing to revise your approach to making reservations. "You Said What???" affirms the belief that laughter is the best medicine. This insider's view of travel that broadens our understanding of the world around us, reveals that it can also keep us filled with peace, compassion and hopefully goodness. Blessings to all and remember to keep smiling!!!
Book Synopsis Confessions of an Air Traffic Controller by : Danny Mortensen
Download or read book Confessions of an Air Traffic Controller written by Danny Mortensen and published by Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.. This book was released on 2019-01-30 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An autobiography of a young impertinent FAA controller in the seventies culminating in the PATCO strike of 1981, and his subsequent adventures and exploits in aviation through the years. An entrepreneur, educator, author, radio talk show host, motivational speaker, master of ceremonies, aircraft builder, risk-taker and air race pilot, world record holder, corporate pilot, and airline instructor are just some of his unique accomplishments. With his involvement with Bill Phelps’ Airline Ground Schools as an instructor and later as president, Dan lead a premier cadre of retired airline captains responsible for the worldwide training of more than 59,000 pilots and aircraft dispatchers. His innovations in aviation education and training materials are admired by many. Danny earned the moniker Mr. Lucky after walking away from a 200 mph crash at the National Championship Air Races in Reno, Nevada, in 1983. His miraculous survival is attributed to the structural integrity of his Burt Rutan-designed AMSOIL Racer and the stronger-than-steel composite materials used in its construction. In 1990, he won the Gold at Reno and retired from pylon air racing after fifteen years of competition. Two of his race planes now hang in museums. Now retired, Danny reflects on his challenges, accomplishments, and some funny stories along the way.
Download or read book "Ramp Rat" written by Bob Tatosian and published by . This book was released on 2005-01-01 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humerous Tale Of Working At A Business/General Aviation Airport a collection of Bill Harley's best loved songs with 1 new story "The Little Monster."
Book Synopsis "Tales" from the Tarmac by : Claudia Helena Oxee
Download or read book "Tales" from the Tarmac written by Claudia Helena Oxee and published by Trafford Publishing. This book was released on 2011-04-01 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tales From The Tarmac...compelling, "behind the scenes" stories of the outlandish and bizarre interactions and incidents between passengers and ground staff at one of the world's most intimidating airports, New York's JFK and beyond. These actual tales take you on an emotionlal roller coaster, ranging from humorous to crazy, from poignant to the macabre. The author, along with her many colleagues who contributed their amazing stories have years of airport ground experience, both operational and in passenger handling. The readers will undoubtedly relate to many of these tales, as the stories unfold! It's a riveting journey of laughter, tears and total disbelief!
Book Synopsis Flying to See Janet by : Laura Vickers
Download or read book Flying to See Janet written by Laura Vickers and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. This book was released on 2012 with total page 42 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Presents a story to prepare children for the unfamiliar sights and sounds of the airport experience.
Book Synopsis The Smile-High Club by : Allan Zullo
Download or read book The Smile-High Club written by Allan Zullo and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2002 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More than 18 million flights a year carry more than one billion passengers for business and for pleasure. This, of course, leads to increased opportunities for humor in the skies. Consider the pilot whose skills were questioned after a ride ended roughly: After a particularly hard landing in Tampa, the U.S. Airways pilot apologized over the public address system to the passengers. The crew stood at the door to say goodbye to the passengers as they deplaned. The pilot felt so bad about the landing, he couldn't look anyone in the eye.None of the passengers said anything derogatory until a sweet little lady walking with the help of a cane approached him. "Sonny," she said right in his face. "Did we land" or were we shot down'"Author Allan Zullo has produced some of the world's most notoriously funny books, filled with astonishing-but-true stories. With co-author Kathy Nelson, Zullo's latest entrant captures some of flying's best moments, from the Northwest captain who had pizza delivered to a plane stuck on the tarmac to the Delta flight engineer who fell out the back exit of a taxiing jet. "Hey, thanks for waiting for me!" he told the pilot who slowed to pick him up. "No problem," answered the captain. "I like you."From start to finish, Air Schtick will keep readers laughing at some of aviation's most amazing antics.
Download or read book Airport Humor written by Jonathon Maas and published by . This book was released on 1992-02-01 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis This Is Your Captain Speaking by : Captain Ed Owen
Download or read book This Is Your Captain Speaking written by Captain Ed Owen and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2004-12 with total page 361 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: While admittedly somewhat limited (about the width and height of an aircraft windscreen) and woefully short of the "big picture", the pilot's perspective offers some unique insights into the vagaries of life. Those insights are presented in This Is Your Captain Speaking as a series of tales that, while amusing and lighthearted, give reason to pause and think. Put your seatbacks into the full-upright and locked position, stow and lock your tray tables, and sit back and enjoy the ride.
