5000 One Liners

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5,000 Great One Liners

Author : Grant Tucker
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1849544824
Total Pages : 355 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (495 download)

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Book Synopsis 5,000 Great One Liners by : Grant Tucker

Download or read book 5,000 Great One Liners written by Grant Tucker and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2012-09-25 with total page 355 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1628734205
Total Pages : 312 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (287 download)

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Book Synopsis 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by :

Download or read book 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

5000 Great One Liners

Author : Eleanor McAvenny
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.:/5 (125 download)

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Book Synopsis 5000 Great One Liners by : Eleanor McAvenny

Download or read book 5000 Great One Liners written by Eleanor McAvenny and published by . This book was released on 2012 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

5,000 One and Two Liners for Any and Every Occasion

Author : Leopold Fechtner
Publisher : Prentice Hall Press
ISBN 13 : 9780133215472
Total Pages : 270 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (154 download)

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Book Synopsis 5,000 One and Two Liners for Any and Every Occasion by : Leopold Fechtner

Download or read book 5,000 One and Two Liners for Any and Every Occasion written by Leopold Fechtner and published by Prentice Hall Press. This book was released on 1978 with total page 270 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here is a whole battery of apt jokes for any occasion - it's like having a calling card of mirth and laughter that will make you welcome wherever you go.

GK One Liners 2020 eBook [10000+ Questions Included]

Author : SSBCrack
Publisher : SSBCrack
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 446 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis GK One Liners 2020 eBook [10000+ Questions Included] by : SSBCrack

Download or read book GK One Liners 2020 eBook [10000+ Questions Included] written by SSBCrack and published by SSBCrack. This book was released on with total page 446 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Includes: Part -I : One Liner Basic GK Questions – 5000 Questions Part -II : One Liner Basic GK Questions – 4000 Questions Part –III: One Liner Important Indian Polity GK Questions – 240 Questions Part –IV: One Liner Important Indian History GK Questions – 200 Questions Part –V: One Liner Important Indian/World Geography GK Questions – 330 Questions Part –VI: One Liner Important Indian Economy GK Questions – 320 Questions

5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners

Author :
Publisher : Skyhorse
ISBN 13 : 9781510766990
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (669 download)

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Book Synopsis 5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners by :

Download or read book 5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners written by and published by Skyhorse. This book was released on 2021-10-19 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thousands of jokes and zingers to expand your repertoire and become a master of comedy! Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

Author : Geoff Tibballs
Publisher : Robinson
ISBN 13 : 1780335369
Total Pages : 607 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (83 download)

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Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs

Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 607 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

5,000 One Liners

Author : Ray Prince
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781718155398
Total Pages : 330 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (553 download)

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Book Synopsis 5,000 One Liners by : Ray Prince

Download or read book 5,000 One Liners written by Ray Prince and published by . This book was released on 2018-08-17 with total page 330 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following the outstanding success of his first volume titled 4,000 One Liners, the author has delved into his archive and cobbled together a second volume of equally fascinating reflections of life. The new book 5,000 One Liners is a trove of humorous and thoughtful quotes which are sure to brighten the reader's day and bring a smile. It is word-smithing at its best; wit, humour, ideas, philosophy and memorable quotes are skillfully drawn together to surprise and prompt thought. Turn to any page and revel in the word play.This book is an all-rounder, suiting every occasion from an accompaniment to a quiet coffee or glass of wine to being a valuable handbook for speakers - both budding and accomplished. The generic appeal also guarantees its acceptance as a welcome gift. The topics include Business, Money, Time, Education, The Professions, Health and Doctors, Sex and Marriage, Family, Food and Drink, Holidays, Religion and Politics, among others. The author has won the coveted Australian Toastmaster's speaking competition. He also competed in the world finals in the USA. In his career as a management consultant he has been keenly sought after as a conference and dinner speaker. Reviews of first volume, 4,000 One Liners "We recommend that you have 4,000 bits of enjoyment!! And in daily increments, if that is your way! Humour is excellent medicine." Medical practitioner."Read this book and you'll realise (if you don't know already) that life is absurdly amusing and the law is about life. Most entries contain a germ of wisdom, but all of them are funny and clever." Barrister at Law."As a long haul frequent flyer, I often take 4,000 One Liners with me to keep my mojo and sense of humor on the long trips. I enjoyed the book so much I purchased 50 copies for friends and business associates!" Chairman and CEO of a Public Company.

Professors Are from Mars®, Students Are from Snickers®

Author : Ronald A. Berk
Publisher : Taylor & Francis
ISBN 13 : 1000977374
Total Pages : 120 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (9 download)

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Book Synopsis Professors Are from Mars®, Students Are from Snickers® by : Ronald A. Berk

Download or read book Professors Are from Mars®, Students Are from Snickers® written by Ronald A. Berk and published by Taylor & Francis. This book was released on 2023-07-03 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Professors and students seem to come from different planets (or candy bars). Barriers frequently exist that impede their communication, such as age, income and cholesterol level.Humor can break down these barriers so that professors can better connect with their students and other audiences. It can be used as a teaching tool to facilitate learning. Ron Berk describes and illustrates a wide variety of techniques that can be integrated systematically into instruction and professional presentations. For professors who consider themselves as "jocularly arthritic", this book moreover provides a special feature: it is close-captioned for the humor impaired.Berk's techniques are "the product of ten years of inadequate development, testing and research." But why take the author's words at their face value? Consider the testimonials of those who have actually attempted these methods in their own classes and presentations:'Before I tried Ron's methods in my philosophy class, I had an attendance problem. Now, no one comes to class.' -- H.I., Slot Machine U., Nevada'Applying humor to my engineering courses led me to understand the meaning of humiliation and rejection.' -- J.K., Toyota College, Kentucky

Making a Wedding Speech

Author : John Bowden
Publisher : How To Books Ltd
ISBN 13 : 9781857036602
Total Pages : 172 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (366 download)

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Book Synopsis Making a Wedding Speech by : John Bowden

Download or read book Making a Wedding Speech written by John Bowden and published by How To Books Ltd. This book was released on 2000 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: So you've been asked to say a few words on the day. The problem is, we don't get much practice, do we? That's why this book will prove so useful to you. It will show you how to prepare and deliver a unique and memorable speech that you can be proud of. What's more, you'll enjoy it! CONTENTS: Finding a captivating opening and compelling close - turning listeners into participants - weaving quotations into your speech - saying it with humour - using your voice well - giving out the right non-verbal messages - having self-confidence and coping with nerves - fifty model speeches About the author John Bowden has over 20 years' experience as a professional trainer and senior lecturer in communication skills. He has written several books on speech making and is a member of the Comedy Writers' Association.

Man Walks Into a Bar

Author : Stephen Arnott
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1646043642
Total Pages : 448 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (46 download)

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Book Synopsis Man Walks Into a Bar by : Stephen Arnott

Download or read book Man Walks Into a Bar written by Stephen Arnott and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-05-10 with total page 448 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Be the life of the party with this ridiculous and definitely-not-for-kids joke book. Includes knock-knock-jokes, one-liners, puns, and more hilarious jokes. Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime

More One Liners, Jokes and Gags

Author : Grant Tucker
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
ISBN 13 : 184954672X
Total Pages : 298 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (495 download)

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Book Synopsis More One Liners, Jokes and Gags by : Grant Tucker

Download or read book More One Liners, Jokes and Gags written by Grant Tucker and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2013-11-07 with total page 298 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After making us laugh out loud with 5,000 Great One-Liners, Grant Tucker goes one better with this uproarious sequel! More One-Liners is another hilarious volume of the finest quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks known to humanity. From twists on the classics to modern greats, from A-grade antics to X-rated gags, from jokes you could tell your mother to jokes about yo momma, there's something short, sweet and wickedly clever for everyone in this definitive volume.

History in Quotations

Author : M. J. Cohen
Publisher : Orion
ISBN 13 : 9780297844860
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (448 download)

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Book Synopsis History in Quotations by : M. J. Cohen

Download or read book History in Quotations written by M. J. Cohen and published by Orion. This book was released on 2008 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An exciting and original work of historical reference. From the Iraq of ancient Babylon to the Iraq war of 2003 - taking in the histories of Europe, the Americas, Africa and Asia in a grand global sweep. It uses the innovative medium of some 9000 chronologically arranged quotations of more than 5000 years of recorded history.

5000 Quotes Book

Author : Indian Ink Writers Community
Publisher : The IINK Publications
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 43 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis 5000 Quotes Book by : Indian Ink Writers Community

Download or read book 5000 Quotes Book written by Indian Ink Writers Community and published by The IINK Publications. This book was released on with total page 43 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is a special edition quotes collaboration from 10 differents writers from various across all over India. The quotes belongs to specific genres e.g. romance thriller Young adult travel Classics Philosophy etc. This book contains a brief introduction about the Writers during the first few pages subsequent section contain works of our fellow writers their introduction, journey to this stage of life, and future plan. Overall it's a comprehensive package for newbie writers and book readers.

Stand By Your Manhood

Author : Peter Lloyd
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1849548528
Total Pages : 254 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (495 download)

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Book Synopsis Stand By Your Manhood by : Peter Lloyd

Download or read book Stand By Your Manhood written by Peter Lloyd and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2016-07-07 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: DAILY MAIL BOOK OF THE WEEK Men must be the worst oppressors in history - we pay the most taxes, get the least support and play longer matches at Wimbledon for no extra money. We're also more likely to be homeless, circumcised, attacked, jailed, drafted, under-educated, short-changed in parenthood and shafted by divorce. Oh, and to top it all, we die sooner. Despite this, feminists still assert we live in a patriarchy and give us a hard time. Fortunately, Peter Lloyd is here to offer a reality check in this long-overdue lad bible. Part polemic, part toolkit for the modern man, Stand By Your Manhood answers all the burning questions facing the brotherhood today, including: Should we fund the first date? Is penis size a political issue? Are we sexist if we enjoy pornography? Why isn't there a men's minister? Politically incorrect, fearless and laugh-out-loud funny, this is the deliciously provocative book that gives blokes their balls back.

Is That Mic Off?

Author : Phil Mason
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1849544816
Total Pages : 265 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (495 download)

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Book Synopsis Is That Mic Off? by : Phil Mason

Download or read book Is That Mic Off? written by Phil Mason and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2012-10-22 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you want to hear something stupid, just listen to the nearest politician. From the authors of Read My Lips and Mission Accomplished!, this completely new collection of politicians' gaffes, slips and brain freezes brings the verbal misstep into the present era of coalition government in Britain, the 2012 presidential election campaign in America and the global phenomenon of Wikileaks. Here is a treasure trove of the finest worst utterings from the men and women whose main skill is meant to be their power of communication. From Bush, Obama and Palin to Brown, Cameron, Clegg and co., the mad, the bad, the stupid and the shameless are all in attendance -watch them shoot from the lip and hit themselves in the foot. If, as they always say, politicians want to be judged by their words, let them be these.

Troubleshooting SharePoint

Author : Stacy Simpkins
Publisher : Apress
ISBN 13 : 1484231384
Total Pages : 492 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (842 download)

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Book Synopsis Troubleshooting SharePoint by : Stacy Simpkins

Download or read book Troubleshooting SharePoint written by Stacy Simpkins and published by Apress. This book was released on 2017-11-24 with total page 492 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Utilize a treasure trove of free SharePoint troubleshooting tools and receive insightful guidance about the types of SharePoint issues that can be discovered through their use. Chapters in this book contrast solid and least privileged builds in order to help you understand the types of issues that are raised when farms are not built the least privileged way. Because SharePoint errors often present themselves one way, when an issue is actually something entirely different, the process of finding the root cause can feel like going down a rabbit hole. Hands-on exercises get you comfortable with logs so you can efficiently and effectively “explore the rabbit hole.” Troubleshooting SharePoint also demonstrates how to identify components and settings that enter an environment where access has been restricted. The author shares his proven methods for researching an issue based on what appears in the logs, with the understanding that often it is not as simple as asking a question, but how you ask it that leads to the right answer. What You’ll Learn Utilize networking tools such as NetMon, WireShark, and Fiddler for troubleshooting Master SharePoint PAL, Webalizer, Indihaing, Developer Dashboard, the Feature Admin tool, and more Become proficient using Timer Jobs and Search Diagnostics Understand how various files are accessed by IIS sites and within the server file system Discover how IIS mappings and file permissions affect issues Troubleshoot with ULS Viewer, PowerShell, and tools such as ProcMon, PerfMon, and Event Viewer Meet your new best friend, the ULS Viewer Use Event Viewer as a troubleshooting source Become conversant in the “language” of SharePoint from the log’s perspective Who This Book Is For SharePoint administrators and developers who want to learn how to quickly diagnose and resolve issues in any SharePoint server in SharePoint farms where admin access is possible