The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book

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Amy's Answering Machine

Author : Amy Borkowsky
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 0743444574
Total Pages : 136 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (434 download)

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Book Synopsis Amy's Answering Machine by : Amy Borkowsky

Download or read book Amy's Answering Machine written by Amy Borkowsky and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2002-02-15 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Does your mother call you in a panic whenever there's a storm warning for your area? Does she act as though it's her duty to alert you to every health story on the news? Have you ever been briefly out of touch with your mother only to find she's phoned everyone short of the National Guard to track you down -- or, just maybe, are you that mother? Take comfort in knowing you're not alone, as Amy Borkowsky shares more than a decade's worth of maddening phone messages from her hilariously overprotective mom. Based on the hit CD of the same name, Amy's Answering Machine features actual messages in which Amy's mom warns her not to wear a red bathrobe because a friend's grandson "said that red is a gang color"...advises her not to get a cat because "what if you finally found a nice guy and he was allergic?"...cautions her not to wear crepe-soled shoes because "they were just saying on the news that if you're ever in a plane crash, crepe is no good if you have to go down the slide." Amy also reveals the stories behind the messages and shares calls not available on CD, each one brimming with the worry and annoying comments only a loving mother could dish out. The same warnings and suggestions that had Amy cringing are sure to have you doubled over with laughter. But before you turn the page, take some advice from Amy's mom: Make sure you have plenty of reading light, because squinting causes crow's feet.

The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book

Author : Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780836232257
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (322 download)

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Book Synopsis The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book by : Marnie Winston-Macauley

Download or read book The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book written by Marnie Winston-Macauley and published by . This book was released on 1997 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Based on a True Story

Author : Norm Macdonald
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0812993632
Total Pages : 245 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (129 download)

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Book Synopsis Based on a True Story by : Norm Macdonald

Download or read book Based on a True Story written by Norm Macdonald and published by Random House. This book was released on 2016-09-20 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the legendary actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”

You Have Seven Messages

Author : Stewart Lewis
Publisher : Ember
ISBN 13 : 0385740298
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (857 download)

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Book Synopsis You Have Seven Messages by : Stewart Lewis

Download or read book You Have Seven Messages written by Stewart Lewis and published by Ember. This book was released on 2012-09-11 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A smart, heartbreaking mystery about unexpected love, art, family, and finding yourself. It's been a year since Luna's mother, the fashion-model wife of a successful film director, was hit and killed by a taxi in New York's East Village. Luna, her father, and little brother are still struggling with grief. But when Luna goes to clean out her mother's old studio, she's stunned to find her mom's old cell phone there—charged and holding seven unheard messages. As Luna begins to listen, she learns more about her mother's life than she ever wanted to know . . . because the tidy tale she's been told about her mother's death may not be the whole truth. With the help of Oliver, the musically gifted boy next door, Luna won't stop until she finds answers. But what else will she find along the way?

Yiddishe Mamas

Author : Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN 13 : 0740788892
Total Pages : 388 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (47 download)

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Book Synopsis Yiddishe Mamas by : Marnie Winston-Macauley

Download or read book Yiddishe Mamas written by Marnie Winston-Macauley and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2009-01-01 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Jewish mother feels her job isn't done even after death. You're never too dead to be a Jewish mother." --Mallory Lewis, daughter of Shari Lewis * What do Steven Spielberg, Woody Allen, Barbra Streisand, Jon Stewart, Bette Midler, and Natalie Portman have in common with this book? A Jewish mother. Is there such a thing as a Jewish mother? And if so, who is she? For the first time, best-selling Jewish author and humorist Marnie Winston-Macauley examines all aspects of the Jewish mother. Chronicling biblical Jewish mothers to modern-day Yentls, she creates a compendium using celebrity interviews, anecdotes, humor, and scholarly sources to answer these questions with truth and humor. * Contributors to the book range from Dr. Ruth Gruber and Rabbi Bonnie Koppel to Jackie Mason, Amy Borkowsky, John Stossel, Lainie Kazan, and more. * "The definitive source on Jewish mothers." --Eileen Warshaw, Ph.D., executive director of the Jewish Heritage Center of the Southwest

The Call Me Ishmael Phone Book

Author : Logan Smalley
Publisher : Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1982140585
Total Pages : 224 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (821 download)

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Book Synopsis The Call Me Ishmael Phone Book by : Logan Smalley

Download or read book The Call Me Ishmael Phone Book written by Logan Smalley and published by Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster. This book was released on 2020-10-13 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of My Ideal Bookshelf and Bibliophile, The Call Me Ishmael Phone Book is the perfect gift for book lovers everywhere: a quirky and entertaining interactive guide to reading, featuring voicemails, literary Easter eggs, checklists, and more, from the creators of the popular multimedia project. The Call Me Ishmael Phone Book is an interactive illustrated homage to the beautiful ways in which books bring meaning to our lives and how our lives bring meaning to books. Carefully crafted in the style of a retro telephone directory, this guide offers you a variety of unique ways to connect with readers, writers, bookshops, and life-changing stories. In it, you’ll discover... -Heartfelt, anonymous voicemail messages and transcripts from real-life readers sharing unforgettable stories about their most beloved books. You’ll hear how a mother and daughter formed a bond over their love for Erin Morgenstern’s The Night Circus, or how a reader finally felt represented after reading Gene Luen Yang’s American Born Chinese, or how two friends performed Mary Oliver’s Thirst to a grove of trees, or how Anne Frank inspired a young writer to continue journaling. -Hidden references inside fictional literary adverts like Ahab’s Whale Tours and Miss Ophelia’s Psychic Readings, and real-life literary landmarks like Maya Angelou City Park and the Edgar Allan Poe House & Museum. -Lists of bookstores across the USA, state by state, plus interviews with the book lovers who run them. -Various invitations to become a part of this book by calling and leaving a bookish voicemail of your own. -And more! Quirky, nostalgic, and full of heart, The Call Me Ishmael Phone Book is a love letter to the stories that change us, connect us, and make us human.

A Little Joy, A Little Oy

Author : Marnie Winston-Macauley
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN 13 : 0740789465
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (47 download)

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Book Synopsis A Little Joy, A Little Oy by : Marnie Winston-Macauley

Download or read book A Little Joy, A Little Oy written by Marnie Winston-Macauley and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-02-05 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "To me, the Jews are funnier than any other group. Why? Because they have had more trouble. And trouble is often the heart of humor."-- Steve Allen (who is not Jewish) from A Little Joy, A Little Oy Not just a slice of Jewish wit and wisdom, this collection is the whole challah*. By including over 350 entries from 200 sources, Winston-Macauley has amassed a unique cross-section of Jewish quotes, anecdotes, proverbs, history, biographies, jokes, unusual facts, "Yinglish," and much more. A Little Joy, A Little Oy showcases this rich and remarkable assembly of all things Jewish through the universal language of laughter and, yes, a few tears. A must in every Jewish household, A Little Joy, A Little Oy also makes the perfect holiday gift. *A rich twisted bread

I Promise

Author : LeBron James
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0063017342
Total Pages : 42 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (63 download)

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Book Synopsis I Promise by : LeBron James

Download or read book I Promise written by LeBron James and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2020-08-11 with total page 42 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An Instant #1 New York Times Bestseller! An Instant Indie Bestseller! *An Amazon Best Book of the Year * A B&N Best Book of the Year* A great gift for tiny go-getters and big dreamers, including for back to school! NBA champion and superstar LeBron James pens a slam-dunk picture book inspired by his foundation’s I PROMISE program that motivates children everywhere to always #StriveForGreatness. Just a kid from Akron, Ohio, who is dedicated to uplifting youth everywhere, LeBron James knows the key to a better future is to excel in school, do your best, and keep your family close. I Promise is a lively and inspiring picture book that reminds us that tomorrow’s success starts with the promises we make to ourselves and our community today. Featuring James’s upbeat, rhyming text and vibrant illustrations perfectly crafted for a diverse audience by #1 New York Times bestselling and Geisel Honor winning artist Nina Mata, this book has the power to inspire all children and families to be their best. Perfect for shared reading in and out of the classroom, I Promise is also a great gift for graduation, birthdays, and other occasions. Plus check out the audiobook, read by LeBron James's mother and I Promise School supporter Gloria James!

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Author : Jonathan Safran Foer
Publisher : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN 13 : 9780618329700
Total Pages : 372 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (297 download)

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Book Synopsis Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by : Jonathan Safran Foer

Download or read book Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close written by Jonathan Safran Foer and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2005 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jonathan Safran Foer emerged as one of the most original writers of his generation with his best-selling debut novel, Everything Is Illuminated. Now, with humor, tenderness, and awe, he confronts the traumas of our recent history. What he discovers is solace in that most human quality, imagination. Meet Oskar Schell, an inventor, Francophile, tambourine player, Shakespearean actor, jeweler, pacifist, correspondent with Stephen Hawking and Ringo Starr. He is nine years old. And he is on an urgent, secret search through the five boroughs of New York. His mission is to find the lock that fits a mysterious key belonging to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11. An inspired innocent, Oskar is alternately endearing, exasperating, and hilarious as he careens from Central Park to Coney Island to Harlem on his search. Along the way he is always dreaming up inventions to keep those he loves safe from harm. What about a birdseed shirt to let you fly away? What if you could actually hear everyone's heartbeat? His goal is hopeful, but the past speaks a loud warning in stories of those who've lost loved ones before. As Oskar roams New York, he encounters a motley assortment of humanity who are all survivors in their own way. He befriends a 103-year-old war reporter, a tour guide who never leaves the Empire State Building, and lovers enraptured or scorned. Ultimately, Oskar ends his journey where it began, at his father's grave. But now he is accompanied by the silent stranger who has been renting the spare room of his grandmother's apartment. They are there to dig up his father's empty coffin.

Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 23

Author : Thomas F. Shubnell
Publisher : Thomas F. Shubnell
ISBN 13 : 1440434956
Total Pages : 171 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (44 download)

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Book Synopsis Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 23 by : Thomas F. Shubnell

Download or read book Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 23 written by Thomas F. Shubnell and published by Thomas F. Shubnell. This book was released on 2008-10-11 with total page 171 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 23 can it really be? Here are more jokes, jibes, jibs, and jabs, funny stuff, silly stuff, and one shaggy dog. All neatly tucked between these covers.

Be Our Guest

Author : Disney Institute
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 212 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis Be Our Guest by : Disney Institute

Download or read book Be Our Guest written by Disney Institute and published by . This book was released on 2003-06 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Foreword by Michael D. Eisner. All organisations drive towards the same goal - how best to serve their customers. Walt Disney World has always enjoyed a reputation as a company that set the benchmark for outstanding business practices. Now, for the first time, one critical element of the method behind the magic is revealed: that of quality service. Here, their proven principles and processes are fully outlined, to help your organisation focus its vision and assemble its infrastructure to deliver exceptional customer service.

Passage

Author : Connie Willis
Publisher : Bantam
ISBN 13 : 0307573729
Total Pages : 802 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (75 download)

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Book Synopsis Passage by : Connie Willis

Download or read book Passage written by Connie Willis and published by Bantam. This book was released on 2009-12-09 with total page 802 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of those rare, unforgettable novels that are as chilling as they are insightful, as thought-provoking as they are terrifying, award-winning author Connie Willis's Passage is an astonishing blend of relentless suspense and cutting-edge science unlike anything you've ever read before. It is the electrifying story of a psychologist who has devoted her life to tracking death. But when she volunteers for a research project that simulates the near-death experience, she will either solve life's greatest mystery -- or fall victim to its greatest terror. At Mercy General Hospital, Dr. Joanna Lander will soon be paged -- not to save a life, but to interview a patient just back from the dead. A psychologist specializing in near-death experiences, Joanna has spent two years recording the experiences of those who have been declared clinically dead and lived to tell about it. It's research on the fringes of ordinary science, but Joanna is about to get a boost from an unexpected quarter. A new doctor has arrived at Mercy General, one with the power to give Joanna the chance to get as close to death as anyone can. A brilliant young neurologist, Dr. Richard Wright has come up with a way to manufacture the near-death experience using a psychoactive drug. Dr. Wright is convinced that the NDE is a survival mechanism and that if only doctors understood how it worked, they could someday delay the dying process, or maybe even reverse it. He can use the expertise of a psychologist of Joanna Lander's standing to lend credibility to his study. But he soon needs Joanna for more than just her reputation. When his key volunteer suddenly drops out of the study, Joanna finds herself offering to become Richard's next subject. After all, who better than she, a trained psychologist, to document the experience? Her first NDE is as fascinating as she imagined it would be -- so astounding that she knows she must go back, if only to find out why this place is so hauntingly familiar. But each time Joanna goes under, her sense of dread begins to grow, because part of her already knows why the experience is so familiar, and why she has every reason to be afraid.... And just when you think you know where she is going, Willis throws in the biggest surprise of all -- a shattering scenario that will keep you feverishly reading until the final climactic page is turned.

The Scout Mindset

Author : Julia Galef
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0735217556
Total Pages : 290 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (352 download)

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Book Synopsis The Scout Mindset by : Julia Galef

Download or read book The Scout Mindset written by Julia Galef and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-04-13 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "...an engaging and enlightening account from which we all can benefit."—The Wall Street Journal A better way to combat knee-jerk biases and make smarter decisions, from Julia Galef, the acclaimed expert on rational decision-making. When it comes to what we believe, humans see what they want to see. In other words, we have what Julia Galef calls a "soldier" mindset. From tribalism and wishful thinking, to rationalizing in our personal lives and everything in between, we are driven to defend the ideas we most want to believe—and shoot down those we don't. But if we want to get things right more often, argues Galef, we should train ourselves to have a "scout" mindset. Unlike the soldier, a scout's goal isn't to defend one side over the other. It's to go out, survey the territory, and come back with as accurate a map as possible. Regardless of what they hope to be the case, above all, the scout wants to know what's actually true. In The Scout Mindset, Galef shows that what makes scouts better at getting things right isn't that they're smarter or more knowledgeable than everyone else. It's a handful of emotional skills, habits, and ways of looking at the world—which anyone can learn. With fascinating examples ranging from how to survive being stranded in the middle of the ocean, to how Jeff Bezos avoids overconfidence, to how superforecasters outperform CIA operatives, to Reddit threads and modern partisan politics, Galef explores why our brains deceive us and what we can do to change the way we think.

The Angel Numbers Book

Author : Mystic Michaela
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1507217358
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (72 download)

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Book Synopsis The Angel Numbers Book by : Mystic Michaela

Download or read book The Angel Numbers Book written by Mystic Michaela and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-12-14 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Have you ever noticed yourself waking up at exactly the same time every night? Or find yourself stuck on a certain page number of a book? What about seeing those very numbers repeated on signs and license plates while you travel? Numbers repeated throughout your day are one major way that angels communicate guidance, warning, and praise to let you know whether the path you are on is right for you. The Angel Numbers Book can help you decipher these messages. Here you'll receive the tools to understand the meaning of each number and number pattern sent by your angel guides. You'll also find space to record and reflect on the numbers you see, cultivating meanings that are personal to you and your experiences. You'll learn to turn your attention toward the communications of your angel guides, strengthen your understanding of the messages they are sending, and stay more tune in whenever they're trying to speak to you. Unlock your potential -- and light the way to a more satisfying, meaningful life -- with The Angel Numbers Book!" --

The Die Broke Complete Book of Money

Author : Stephen Pollan
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0066619947
Total Pages : 614 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (666 download)

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Book Synopsis The Die Broke Complete Book of Money by : Stephen Pollan

Download or read book The Die Broke Complete Book of Money written by Stephen Pollan and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2001-12-24 with total page 614 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stephen M. Pollan, the man famous for turning outdated conventional wisdom on its head in his bestseller Die Broke, now shares the advice he gives to his millionaire clients on everything from allowances to zero-coupon bonds. As America's most trusted financial consultant, Pollan offers guidance on money and career choices that is battle-tested in the real world. He knows that what worked in the prosperous 1990s may not fly in the lean, mean 21st century-and he realizes we often make decisions with our hearts as well as our heads. Pollan's new rules help us manage our money for maximum returns, security, and comfort. Book jacket.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Organizing Your Life

Author : Georgene Muller Lockwood
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 9780028643182
Total Pages : 460 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (431 download)

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Book Synopsis The Complete Idiot's Guide to Organizing Your Life by : Georgene Muller Lockwood

Download or read book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Organizing Your Life written by Georgene Muller Lockwood and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2002 with total page 460 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When stuff rules a person's life, it's Georgene Lockwood to the rescue. Her revised handbook shows how to organize paperwork, food, clothing, and shelter systems and how to win the money wars.

I Hope You Get This Message

Author : Farah Naz Rishi
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062741470
Total Pages : 364 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (627 download)

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Book Synopsis I Hope You Get This Message by : Farah Naz Rishi

Download or read book I Hope You Get This Message written by Farah Naz Rishi and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2019-10-22 with total page 364 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this high concept YA novel debut that’s We All Looked Up meets The Sun Is Also a Star, three teens must face down the mistakes of their past after they learn that life on Earth might end in less than a week. News stations across the country are reporting mysterious messages that Earth has been receiving from a planet—Alma—claiming to be its creator. If they’re being interpreted correctly, in seven days Alma will hit the kill switch on their “colony” Earth. True or not, for teenagers Jesse Hewitt, Cate Collins, and Adeem Khan, the prospect of this ticking time bomb will change their lives forever. Jesse, who has been dealt one bad blow after another, wonders if it even matters what happens to the world. Cate, on the other hand, is desperate to use this time to find the father she never met. And Adeem, who hasn’t spoken to his estranged sister in years, must find out if he has it in him to forgive her for leaving. With only a week to face their truths and right their wrongs, Jesse, Cate, and Adeem’s paths collide as their worlds are pulled apart.