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The Not Quite Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
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Book Synopsis The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book by : Tim Vine
Download or read book The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-02-29 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . . Velcro. What a rip off. Why do you never see an elephant on a bus? Because he's got a massive bum. So I went to the doctors. I said, 'I got hurt in a pillow fight.' He said, 'You've got concushion.' Believe it or not there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people I tried to surf the Internet and I fell off my chair Read it to find these funny puns, plus many more original jokes and illustrations. You won't be able to put it down!
Book Synopsis The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book by : Tim Vine
Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will.
Book Synopsis The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book by : Tim Vine
Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Book Synopsis The Tim Vine Bumper Book of Silliness by : Tim Vine
Download or read book The Tim Vine Bumper Book of Silliness written by Tim Vine and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2013-10-10 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedian and TV star Tim Vine delivers a jam-packed, laugh-a-minute assortment of hilarious silliness. Welcome to THE TIM VINE BUMPER BOOK OF SILLINESS. Put your 3D glasses on now. And then remove them because they won't make any difference. This is a bit like an annual. Annual love it. It's filled with silly jokes, daft quizzes, zany pictures and other silly stuff too. We live in a very serious world but now and again it's good to forget about that and say things like 'lozenge waffle' or 'giraffe sprocket'. Ideally to a stranger.
Download or read book Gagged and Bound written by Nick Jones and published by Full Media Ltd. This book was released on 2015-06-15 with total page 135 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.
Book Synopsis Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book by : Tommy Cooper
Download or read book Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book written by Tommy Cooper and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-10-09 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Book Synopsis Harry Hill's Whopping Great Joke Book by : Harry Hill
Download or read book Harry Hill's Whopping Great Joke Book written by Harry Hill and published by Faber & Faber. This book was released on 2008-11-20 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A treat for Harry Hill fans! Britain's favourite comedian, Harry Hill, loves jokes so much that he has put together a side-splitting joke book for all the family. Containing Harry's favourite jokes picked from the world's joke archive, it also features jokes written by Harry, including some brand-new ones written specially for this book.
Download or read book Pundamentalist written by Gary Delaney and published by Headline. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
Book Synopsis Man Walks Into a Bar by : Stephen Arnott
Download or read book Man Walks Into a Bar written by Stephen Arnott and published by Random House. This book was released on 2004 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.
Download or read book Buy-In written by John P. Kotter and published by Harvard Business Review Press. This book was released on 2010-10-06 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You've got a good idea. You know it could make a crucial difference for you, your organization, your community. You present it to the group, but get confounding questions, inane comments, and verbal bullets in return. Before you know what's happened, your idea is dead, shot down. You're furious. Everyone has lost: Those who would have benefited from your proposal. You. Your company. Perhaps even the country. It doesn't have to be this way, maintain John Kotter and Lorne Whitehead. In Buy-In, they reveal how to win the support your idea needs to deliver valuable results. The key? Understand the generic attack strategies that naysayers and obfuscators deploy time and time again. Then engage these adversaries with tactics tailored to each strategy. By "inviting in the lions" to critique your idea--and being prepared for them--you'll capture busy people's attention, help them grasp your proposal's value, and secure their commitment to implementing the solution. The book presents a fresh and amusing fictional narrative showing attack strategies in action. It then provides several specific counterstrategies for each basic category the authors have defined--including: · Death-by-delay: Your enemies push discussion of your idea so far into the future it's forgotten. · Confusion: They present so much data that confidence in your proposal dies. · Fearmongering: Critics catalyze irrational anxieties about your idea. · Character assassination: They slam your reputation and credibility. Smart, practical, and filled with useful advice, Buy-In equips you to anticipate and combat attacks--so your good idea makes it through to make a positive change.
Book Synopsis Using Microsoft Word 2010 by : Tim Huddleston
Download or read book Using Microsoft Word 2010 written by Tim Huddleston and published by Que Publishing. This book was released on 2010-11-30 with total page 623 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Using Microsoft Word 2010 is a customized, media-rich learning experience designed to help new users master Microsoft Word 2010 system quickly, and get the most out of it, fast! It starts with a concise, friendly, straight-to-the-point guide to Microsoft Word 2010. This exceptional book is fully integrated with an unprecedented collection of online learning resources: online video, screencasts, podcasts, and additional web content, all designed to reinforce key concepts and help users achieve real mastery. The book and online content work together to teach everything mainstream Microsoft Word 2010 users need to know. Practical, approachable coverage that completely flattens the Microsoft Word 2010 learning curve Tightly integrated with online video, screencast tutorials, podcasts, and more: the total learning experience for new Microsoft Word 2010 users A companion website offers supplemental media including video, screencast tutorials, podcasts, and more
Book Synopsis The Importance of Being Funny by : Al Gini
Download or read book The Importance of Being Funny written by Al Gini and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2017-07-25 with total page 169 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When E. B. White said “analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog; few people are interested and the frog dies,” he hadn’t seen Al Gini’s hilarious, incisive, and informative take on jokes, joke-telling, and the jokers who tell jokes. For Gini, humor is more than just foolish fun: it serves as a safety valve for dealing with reality that gives us the courage to endure that which we cannot understand or avoid. Not everyone tells jokes. Not everyone gets a joke, even a good one. But, Gini argues, joke-telling can act as both a sword and a shield to defend us from reality. As the late, great stand-up comic Joan Rivers put it: ‘If you can laugh at it, you can live with it!’ This book is for anyone who enjoys a good laugh, but also wants to know why.
Book Synopsis 26.2 Miles to Happiness by : Paul Tonkinson
Download or read book 26.2 Miles to Happiness written by Paul Tonkinson and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2020-02-06 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ***WINNER OF THE TELEGRAPH SPORTS BOOK AWARDS 2021 – SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT BOOK OF THE YEAR*** 'Utterly joyous!' - Bryony Gordon 'The best book about running I have read' – Nick Cohen, The Critic 'The funniest book about running I have ever read. In fact it is the only book about running I have ever read, but it is HILARIOUS!' - David Walliams '...insightful, inspiring and laugh-out-loud funny!' - Michael McIntyre 'Pain. Hope. Misery. Joy. All the big stuff. Excellent.' - Dara Ó Briain 'This book is funny (which I expected) and concerns running (ditto), but it is also exceptionally moving and profound. Don't be fooled: it's not really about completing a marathon. It's about life and all its joy and weirdness. Recommended to all...' - Miranda Sawyer 'Very good book... very funny, very insightful, very inspiring' - Chris Evans, Virgin Radio 'Fabulous book' - Radio 2 The hilarious trials and tribulations of stand-up comedian Paul Tonkinson as he attempts to beat the much lauded 3-hour mark at the London Marathon. With a supporting cast of fellow comedians, this is a warmly written and wonderfully honest adventure-through-sport that will both entertain and inspire. Along the way, we are introduced to the characters helping Paul with his quest. Celebrity names such as Bryony Gordon, Russell Howard, Roisin Conaty and Vassos Alexander pop up with wit and wisdom, alongside an alpine adventure to the Mayr Clinic with Michael McIntyre that pushes Paul to the limit. And not forgetting the 'words of wisdom' and derision from Paul's anti-running friend, Richard.
Download or read book Middle Men written by Jim Gavin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-02-19 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A powerful, funny, and wise debut from a writer Esquire praises as “the second coming of Denis Johnson.” In this widely acclaimed story collection, Jim Gavin delivers a hilarious and panoramic vision of California, in which a number of down-on-their-luck men, from young dreamers to old vets, make valiant forays into middle-class respectability. Each of the men in Gavin’s stories is stuck somewhere in the middle, caught halfway between his dreams and the often crushing reality of his life. A work of profound humanity that pairs moments of high comedy with searing truths about life’s missed opportunities, Middle Men brings to life unforgettable characters as they learn what it means to love and work and exist in the world as a man. Hailed as a “modern-day Dubliners” (Time Out ) and “reminiscent of Tom Perotta’s best work” (The Boston Globe), this stellar debut has the Los Angeles Review of Books raving, “Middle Men deserves its hype and demonstrates a top-shelf talent. . . . A brilliant sense of humor animates each story and creates a state of near-continuous reading pleasure.”
Download or read book Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers written by and published by . This book was released on 2003 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The world's first complete book of wine humor. Hundreds of funny quotes, definitions, anecdotes and news items about mankind's favorite beverage. Plus cartoons from The New Yorker.
Book Synopsis The Silly Kids Joke Book by : Cooper The Pooper
Download or read book The Silly Kids Joke Book written by Cooper The Pooper and published by Books by Cooper. This book was released on 2020-09-28 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What's laughter-inducing, belly-aching, crazy fun? The perfect kids' present, that's what!How do people fit in the TV? Why can't I see my eyes? How old was I when I was three?Kids ask the funniest questions, and they ask them a lot! It's a precious time when their curiosity is growing, their minds are absorbing everything and their energy is at an all-time high.As a result, parents hear a lot of crazy quips, random facts, and some of the most absurd questions you'll ever hear. As much as we love our kids, we all need some help at times.Some questions are easy to answer, some more difficult, but when you're being bombarded nonstop every day, you might find yourself drawing a blank on even the most wholesome questions.Want to find a way to distract your kid while indulging their curious mind and encouraging their sense of humor?Jokes are not only funny, exciting, and lively, they're also a great way to develop your child's growing mind. They enhance language skills, increase vocabulary, and strengthen social connections.Plus, they're a total hoot to boot!With this selection of hilarious jokes, your child will get all these benefits? and a cackling great time.
