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The Mammoth Book Of Tasteless Jokes
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Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes by : E. Henry Thripshaw
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes written by E. Henry Thripshaw and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 571 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told. More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking. From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these: My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream. Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter. What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm. How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass. I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead. Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Jokes by : Geoff Tibbals
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Jokes written by Geoff Tibbals and published by Running Press. This book was released on 2006-11-22 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book, now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries. This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything funny, from birthdays and dogs to mothers-in-law and war, from the tasteful to the tasteless. The Mammoth Book of Jokes also includes hilarious epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines, and put-downs. Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favorite celebrity jokes — specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair — as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new ones.
Book Synopsis Truly Tasteless Jokes Three by : Blanche Knott
Download or read book Truly Tasteless Jokes Three written by Blanche Knott and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1985-05-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Disgusting, abhorrent, and just plain terrible. But people love them. Tackling every taboo subject, this truly tasteless little book proves that there's nothing too sacred to be laughed at. After all, it was a #1 bestseller.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2011-09-22 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour by : Michael Powell
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour written by Michael Powell and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2010-10-14 with total page 576 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper
Book Synopsis Truly Tasteless Jokes by : Blanche Knott
Download or read book Truly Tasteless Jokes written by Blanche Knott and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1985-05-12 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The original is back. TRULY TASTELESS JOKES took America by storm and made it laugh at itself. It's all in here, disgusting, repulsive, cruel, and just plain tasteless jokes and stories that will make you smile, laugh, or groan--and love every minute of it.
Book Synopsis Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Constable. This book was released on 2005-10-13 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Mammoth Book of Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes is the ultimate collection of X-rated and decidedly politically incorrect jokes - an indispensable guide to the funny, the fearless and the filthy. Be warned, the contents of this spanking new bumper book are not for the faint-hearted. Even a blonde would blush ...if she got any of them.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Filthy Limericks by : Glyn Rees
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Filthy Limericks written by Glyn Rees and published by Running Press. This book was released on 2009-12-22 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This hilariously inappropriate collection of rhymes is sure to provide ammunition to use at the office or even at a party among friends. You'll never have to repeat a line from this collection of more than 2,000 dirty verses. Perfect for St. Patty's Day or any time year-round!
Book Synopsis John Dies at the End by : David Wong
Download or read book John Dies at the End written by David Wong and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2009-09-29 with total page 479 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jon Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town--and the world--from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions. Now a Major Motion Picture. "[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." —Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
Book Synopsis Dead People Suck by : Laurie Kilmartin
Download or read book Dead People Suck written by Laurie Kilmartin and published by Rodale. This book was released on 2018-02-13 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An honest, irreverent, laugh-out-loud guide to coping with death and dying from Emmy-nominated writer and New York Times bestselling co-author of Sh*tty Mom Laurie Kilmartin. Death is not for the faint of heart, and sometimes the best way to cope is through humor. No one knows this better than comedian Laurie Kilmartin. She made headlines by live-tweeting her father’s time in hospice and her grieving process after he passed, and channeled her experience into a comedy special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad. Dead People Suck is her hilarious guide to surviving (sometimes) death, dying, and grief without losing your mind. If you are old and about to die, sick and about to die, or with a loved one who is about to pass away or who has passed away, there’s something for you. With chapters like “Are You An Old Man With Daughters? Please Shred Your Porn,” “If Cancer was an STD, It Would Be Cured By Now,” and “Unsubscribing Your Dead Parent from Tea Party Emails,” Laurie Kilmartin guides you through some of life’s most complicated moments with equal parts heart and sarcasm.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of the Best of Best New Horror by : Stephen Jones
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of the Best of Best New Horror written by Stephen Jones and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2010-03-25 with total page 671 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For twenty years The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror has been recognized as the world's foremost annual showcase of horror and dark fantasy fiction. Now, with one story from each year in which it has been published, from 1989 to 2008, representing the work of dozens of authors, many of them acknowledged as the foremost practitioners of the genre, multi-award-winning editor Stephen Jones looks back on two decades of superb writing to bring readers the ultimate horror fiction anthology. With names such as Ramsey Campbell, Christopher Fowler, Neil Gaiman, Michael Marshall Smith, Paul J. McAuley and Lisa Tuttle, this collection represents a true landmark in horror fiction publishing. Praise for Stephen Jones: 'Horror's last maverick.' - Christopher Fowler 'Stephen Jones . . . has a better sense of the genre than almost anyone in this country.'- Lisa Tuttle, The Times Books 'The best horror anthologist in the business is, of course, Stephen Jones.' - Roz Kavaney, Time Out 'Edited by Stephen Jones, a member of that tiny band of anthologists whose work is so reliably good that you automatically reach out and grab hold of any new volume spotted if you are wise.'- Gahan Wilson, Realms of Fantasy 'One of the genre's most enthusiastic cheerleaders.' - Publishers Weekly 'Horror readers owe Stephen Jones a lot.' - Rue Morgue 'Edited by the prolific and reliable Stephen Jones.' - SFX Magazine 'Jones performs his usual exemplary job.' - Starlog (UK) 'A new horror anthology from Stephen Jones is always an event' - Dennis Etchison
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Slasher Movies by : Peter Normanton
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Slasher Movies written by Peter Normanton and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2012-10-18 with total page 528 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An engrossing A-Z of over 60 gory years of slasher and splatter movies, from Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later to Lucio Fulci's Zombie Flesh Eaters. Here you will find the low-down on over 250 movies with entries from 23 different countries. The index, which includes every movie mentioned in the A-Z and accompanying notes, runs to 540 movies. The book includes the list of video nasties which the UK government attempted to ban.
Book Synopsis One Hundred and One Dirty Nasty Disgusting Jokes You'll Love Reading by : Kiven Hopper
Download or read book One Hundred and One Dirty Nasty Disgusting Jokes You'll Love Reading written by Kiven Hopper and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2008-10-17 with total page 246 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book has alot of good old fashion jokes and alot of new ones. I know you'll read it over & over so you can tell them to all your friends or at your next Party.
Download or read book Seriously Sick Jokes written by and published by Ulysses Press. This book was released on 2009-07-14 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A treasury of irreverent, politically incorrect, and wholly distasteful jokes represents top-selected submissions to the b3ta.com Web site, in a volume that is complemented by equally biting illustrations. Original.
Book Synopsis The Only Harmless Great Thing by : Brooke Bolander
Download or read book The Only Harmless Great Thing written by Brooke Bolander and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2018-01-23 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the Nebula Award for Best Novelette Finalist for the Hugo, Locus, Shirley Jackson, and Sturgeon Awards The Only Harmless Great Thing is a heart-wrenching alternative history by Brooke Bolander that imagines an intersection between the Radium Girls and noble, sentient elephants. In the early years of the 20th century, a group of female factory workers in Newark, New Jersey slowly died of radiation poisoning. Around the same time, an Indian elephant was deliberately put to death by electricity in Coney Island. These are the facts. Now these two tragedies are intertwined in a dark alternate history of rage, radioactivity, and injustice crying out to be righted. Prepare yourself for a wrenching journey that crosses eras, chronicling histories of cruelty both grand and petty in search of meaning and justice. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Download or read book Homeland written by Cory Doctorow and published by Tor Teen. This book was released on 2013-02-05 with total page 398 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Cory Doctorow's wildly successful Little Brother, young Marcus Yallow was arbitrarily detained and brutalized by the government in the wake of a terrorist attack on San Francisco—an experience that led him to become a leader of the whole movement of technologically clued-in teenagers, fighting back against the tyrannical security state. A few years later, California's economy collapses, but Marcus's hacktivist past lands him a job as webmaster for a crusading politician who promises reform. Soon his former nemesis Masha emerges from the political underground to gift him with a thumbdrive containing a Wikileaks-style cable-dump of hard evidence of corporate and governmental perfidy. It's incendiary stuff—and if Masha goes missing, Marcus is supposed to release it to the world. Then Marcus sees Masha being kidnapped by the same government agents who detained and tortured Marcus years earlier. Marcus can leak the archive Masha gave him—but he can't admit to being the leaker, because that will cost his employer the election. He's surrounded by friends who remember what he did a few years ago and regard him as a hacker hero. He can't even attend a demonstration without being dragged onstage and handed a mike. He's not at all sure that just dumping the archive onto the Internet, before he's gone through its millions of words, is the right thing to do. Meanwhile, people are beginning to shadow him, people who look like they're used to inflicting pain until they get the answers they want. Fast-moving, passionate, and as current as next week, Homeland is every bit the equal of Little Brother—a paean to activism, to courage, to the drive to make the world a better place. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Undercover Cops by : Paul Copperwaite
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Undercover Cops written by Paul Copperwaite and published by C & R Crime. This book was released on 2011-11-03 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Edgy revelations and revealing first-hand accounts, including the inspirations for popular TV dramas as diverse as The Wire, The Sopranos and Life on Mars. Terrorists, criminal gangs, drug-dealing lawyers, solitary psychos and suspected serial killers all feature as the intended targets in these cops' tales. Using fake identities and complex back-stories, dependent on teamwork to keep one step away from exposure, torture and death, the subjects of this book describe in vivid detail what it is like to cultivate contacts and gather evidence in major prosecutions: in the UK, Northern Ireland, the USA and around the world.
