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The Funniest People In Sports 250 Anecdotes
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Book Synopsis The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2006-11 with total page 239 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."
Book Synopsis Jason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes Argonautica by : David Bruce
Download or read book Jason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes Argonautica written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-10-23 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jason and the Argonauts tells the story of their quest to find the Golden Fleece. They sail from Greece into the Black Sea. With the help of the sorceress Medea, they succeed in getting the Golden Fleece but then have to sail back home. This myth is one of the most important myths of ancient Greece.
Book Synopsis William Shakespeares "1 Henry VI," aka "Henry VI, Part 1": A Retelling in Prose by : David Bruce
Download or read book William Shakespeares "1 Henry VI," aka "Henry VI, Part 1": A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-08-04 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of William Shakespeare's "1 Henry VI." People who read this version first will find the original much easier to read.
Book Synopsis The Funniest People in Sports by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Funniest People in Sports written by David Bruce and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2005-08-01 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes About Sports" contains such anecdotes as the following: Umpire Beans Reardon once made a mistake. Richie Ashburn slid into second base and Billy Cox attempted to tag him. Beans yelled 'Safe," but at the same time he flung his arm in the 'Out" gesture. Mr. Ashburn asked, 'What the hell does that mean?" Mr. Reardon replied, 'Richie, you know you're safe. Billy, you know he's safe. But 30,000 fans see my arm. Richie, you're out." Figure skater Rosalynn Sumners has a tendency to put on weight. When she was skating for Disney, her contract required her to be weighed each week, and if she was three pounds over her desired weight, Disney fined her $10. After a while, Ms. Sumners began to stand on the scales each week with a $10 bill in her hand.
Book Synopsis From the "Iliad" to the "Odyssey": A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrnas "Posthomerica" by : David Bruce
Download or read book From the "Iliad" to the "Odyssey": A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrnas "Posthomerica" written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-10-23 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Homer created the epic poems ""Iliad"" and ""Odyssey."" The "Iliad" tells only a small part of the story of the Trojan War. For example, the "Iliad" does not tell the story of the Trojan Horse although Homer knew about the Trojan Horse and assumed that his audience knew its story. Other, shorter epic poems that made up the Epic Cycle told the rest of the story of the Trojan War. The ""Iliad"" and the ""Odyssey"" have survived to the present time, but the other epic poems of the Epic Cycle have been lost since ancient times. Fortunately, Quintus of Smyrna wrote an epic poem that retold the tales recounted in the lost epic poems of the Epic Cycle. He told the story of the Trojan War from the end of the ""Iliad ""to when Odysseus sets sail for home in the "Odyssey" after Troy has fallen. In this retelling, as in all my retellings, I have tried to make the work of literature accessible to modern readers.
Book Synopsis The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2006-09-01 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.
Book Synopsis The Funniest People in Books and Music by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Funniest People in Books and Music written by David Bruce and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2005-11-01 with total page 135 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The Funniest People Who Write Books and Make Music" contains such anecdotes as these: When Peg Bracken started writing, she would often type the first page of a famous short story for inspiration. Often, she discovered that the page did not look as impressive typed on a sheet of paper as it did printed on a page in a book, so sometimes she would imitate her English professor and write on the sheet of paper: 'You can do better than this, Mr. Faulkner." Andri Previn played jazz with a couple of American-African musicians. Afterwards, he went into a diner, where two white men asked him, 'Why the hell don't you play with your own kind?" Mr. Previn replied, 'To tell you the truth, I wanted to, but I couldn't find two other Jews who swing." Soccer and Cup Final day are important in England. Once, the noted conductor Sir Thomas Beecham held a rehearsal on Cup Final day. The rehearsal had been going on for only a short time when a giant television was delivered to the rehearsal area. Sir Thomas then said, 'Now, gentlemen, let's get down to the most important business of the day-watching the match."
Book Synopsis The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 1 by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 1 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The doing of good deeds is important. As a free person, you can choose to live your life as a good person or as a bad person. To be a good person, do good deeds. To be a bad person, do bad deeds. If you do good deeds, you will become good. If you do bad deeds, you will become bad. To become the person you want to be, act as if you already are that kind of person. Each of us chooses what kind of person we will become. To become a hero, do the things a hero does. To become a coward, do the things a coward does. The opportunity to take action to become the kind of person you want to be is yours. ; ;This book collects 250 stories of good deeds from the arts, from religion, and from life.
Book Synopsis The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 2 by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 2 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2008-11-01 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book collects 250 stories about good deeds, including this one: When the great 19th-century actor Sir Henry Irving discovered an old woman who needed money to survive but who couldn't work, he would hire her to take care of the cats in his theater. Later, he was going to hire an old woman to take care of the cats, but then he discovered that he had already hired three old women to take care of the cats. Therefore, he hired this old woman to take care of the three old women who took care of the cats.
Book Synopsis Tarlton's Jests: A Retelling by : David Bruce
Download or read book Tarlton's Jests: A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-01-14 with total page 115 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of ""Tarlton's Jests, ""which tells anecdotes about Queen Elizabeth I's favorite jester. He is thought to have been the Yorick in Hamlet's famous soliloquy. This book contains the original ""Tarlton's Jests"" in addition to the retelling. 25. How Tarlton Deceived a Doctor of Physic [Medicine]. Tarlton, to satisfy the humors [moods] of certain gentlemen who were his familiar acquaintances, decided to test the skill of a simple Doctor of Physic, who dwelt not far from Islington, and this is what happened: Tarlton took a urinal, filled it half full of good wine, and carried it to this doctor, saying it was a sick man's urine. The doctor viewed it, and tossing it up and down, as though he had great knowledge, he said that the patient whose urine it is, is full of gross humors, and has need of purging, and needs to be bled some ten ounces of blood. "No, you dunce," Tarlton replied. "It is good p*ss," and he drank it all and then threw the urinal at the doctor's head.
Book Synopsis King Edward III: A Retelling by : David Bruce
Download or read book King Edward III: A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2020-04-04 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of "King Edward III," a history play that may have been written in part by William Shakespeare.
Book Synopsis Dante's Purgatory: A Retelling in Prose by : David Bruce
Download or read book Dante's Purgatory: A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2012-07-19 with total page 184 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is a retelling in prose of Dante's "Purgatory," the second part of his "Divine Comedy."
Author :David Bruce Publisher :iUniverse ISBN 13 :0595398758 Total Pages :133 pages Book Rating :4.5/5 (953 download)
Download or read book written by David Bruce and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2006-06-01 with total page 133 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Bride of The Funniest People in Religion and Families" contains such anecdotes as these: When Panamanian salsa singer Rubin Blades married Lisa Lebenzon, an Anglo (a white American not of Spanish descent) non-Spanish speaker, he asked her to learn Spanish so he could speak his native language at home. She finished in only seven months a Spanish course that normally took three years. Dr. Louis Finkelstein, chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, kept a strictly kosher diet. While in Paris, he and a group of rabbis ate only in kosher restaurants. On leaving Paris, Dr. Finkelstein joked, "I can't understand all this fuss people make about French cooking. We have the same things at home." A Sufi teacher spoke about the virtue of patience. As he spoke, a scorpion stung his foot repeatedly. His followers eventually noticed the scorpion and asked the teacher why he had not moved his foot away from it. The teacher replied, "I was discussing the virtue of patience. I could hardly have spoken about patience without also setting an example of patience. I would have been ashamed before God."
Book Synopsis The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 3 by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 3 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis The Famous Victories of Henry V: A Retelling by : David Bruce
Download or read book The Famous Victories of Henry V: A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-02 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-retelling of "The Famous Victories of Henry V," which is an important source for William Shakespeare's "Henry IV" and "Henry V" plays.
Book Synopsis John Ford's "'Tis Pity She's a Whore": A Retelling by : David Bruce
Download or read book John Ford's "'Tis Pity She's a Whore": A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-01-29 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of John Ford's tragedy "'Tis Pity She's a Whore." In this tragedy, a brother and sister fall in love and commit incest.
Book Synopsis William Shakespeare's "The Two Gentlemen of Verona": A Retelling in Prose by : David Bruce
Download or read book William Shakespeare's "The Two Gentlemen of Verona": A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2017-03-31 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of William Shakespeare's comedy titled "The Two Gentlemen of Verona," about faithfulness and unfaithfulness in love. It ends happily.
