The Funniest Excuse Book Ever

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Author :
Publisher : Sterling
ISBN 13 : 9780806942902
Total Pages : 100 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (429 download)

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Book Synopsis The Funniest Excuse Book Ever by : Maureen Kushner

Download or read book The Funniest Excuse Book Ever written by Maureen Kushner and published by Sterling. This book was released on 1998 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Any kid who forgets to make his bed, gets caught daydreaming in class, likes to eat with fingers instead of forks, or is sick of stupid questions is going to love the snappy, wacky comebacks in the Funniest Excuse Book Ever! Forget the boring, ordinary excuses everybody uses. The hundreds of answers and explanations in this zany collection will crack kids up and drive parents and teachers crazy. From school smarts (Why were you absent yesterday? I wasn't absent, I was temporarily invisible) and chore chuckles (Why didn't you take the garbage out? I had another date) to behavior busters (Why are you always fighting? It must be these boxer shorts I'm wearing) and food funnies (Why aren't you eating the school lunch? School lunch? I thought this was leftovers from chemistry class), there are plenty of silly answers to silly questions here. Whether they're aimed at getting out of trouble or just getting a few laughs, the amusing alibis and ridiculous retorts included here are guaranteed kid-pleasers. No excuses! Sterling 96 pages, 114 b/w illus., 5 3/4 x 8 1/4.

The Ultimate Excuse Generator

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781786275240
Total Pages : 80 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (752 download)

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Book Synopsis The Ultimate Excuse Generator by : Mike Barfield

Download or read book The Ultimate Excuse Generator written by Mike Barfield and published by . This book was released on 2019-08-02 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This fabulously fun flipbook allows you to generate over 100 million excellent excuses for all occasions. Wacky, zany, and sometimes plain silly, this book will ensure you'll always have the right answer for anything!

Every Excuse in the Book

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780836251951
Total Pages : 292 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (519 download)

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Book Synopsis Every Excuse in the Book by : Craig Boldman

Download or read book Every Excuse in the Book written by Craig Boldman and published by . This book was released on 1998 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This compendium offers every excuse for every occasion, such as: It was the alien experiment. I haven't been the same since Elvis died. My inner child made me do it. All excuses are illustrated.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

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Author :
Publisher : Disney Electronic Content
ISBN 13 : 1423141083
Total Pages : 452 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (231 download)

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Book Synopsis It's Kind of a Funny Story by : Ned Vizzini

Download or read book It's Kind of a Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2010-09-25 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!

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Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN 13 : 1429986506
Total Pages : 217 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (299 download)

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Book Synopsis You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero! by : Bob Powers

Download or read book You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero! written by Bob Powers and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2010-07-01 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom? In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part-time actor/full-time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping. Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn't misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours! You awake to the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?" You hear a man's voice. It is muffled. "We've got Julia." "Wait, what do you mean?" "We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---" "Whoa, she's not my girlfriend," you say. "I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think." "We understand," the voice says. "But she's new to the city, and presently, you're all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we'll blow her head off." If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173. If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183. BE VERY CAREFUL! You're directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It's YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you've got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

It's Not My Fault

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Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1510730540
Total Pages : 162 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (17 download)

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Book Synopsis It's Not My Fault by : Joshua Shifrin

Download or read book It's Not My Fault written by Joshua Shifrin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-04-03 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In It's Not My Fault, author Joshua Shifrin helps tennis players make sense of their most monumental losses on the court. The next time a player goes down in defeat, he or she can always explain the woeful loss with "My opponent was a pusher . . . I can't play against pushers." Or after a bad shot, tennis gurus might try to get out of dodge by uttering, "There was a leaf on the court and I couldn't concentrate." Shifrin has crafted 150 funny--but all-too-real--excuses for pros and amateurs alike. Examples include: My opponent's grunting is distracting. My strings are too tight. I have tennis elbow. These tennis balls are too slow. Any many more! Whether you want to motivate your friends or family who have just started playing or eradicate embarrassing mistakes in your own game, It's Not My Fault is a must-read. Complete with laugh-out-loud cartoons, this book makes for the perfect gift.

But Excuse Me that is My Book

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Author :
Publisher : Charlie and Lola
ISBN 13 : 9780141500539
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (5 download)

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Book Synopsis But Excuse Me that is My Book by : Lauren Child

Download or read book But Excuse Me that is My Book written by Lauren Child and published by Charlie and Lola. This book was released on 2006 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Lola's favorite book is not on the library's shelf, her older brother, Charlie, tries to find another book she will enjoy.

SpongeBob's book of excuses

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Author :
Publisher : Pocket Books
ISBN 13 : 9781416916765
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (167 download)

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Book Synopsis SpongeBob's book of excuses by : Holly Kowitt

Download or read book SpongeBob's book of excuses written by Holly Kowitt and published by Pocket Books. This book was released on 2006 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everyone's favourite yellow sponge has an excuse for everything!

Excuse Me

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Author :
Publisher : Random House Trade Paperbacks
ISBN 13 : 1984801511
Total Pages : 417 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (848 download)

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Book Synopsis Excuse Me by : Liana Finck

Download or read book Excuse Me written by Liana Finck and published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This book was released on 2019-09-24 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A razor-sharp collection from the acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist and Instagram sensation whom Vulture recently called “a remarkable young talent” With her trademark, scratchy style and keen eye for the absurd, Liana Finck has amassed a large, devoted following who love the deeply insightful, delightfully odd way she describes how we all experience the world. Excuse Me assembles more than 500 of her most loved cartoons from Instagram and The New Yorker over the past few years, in such distinctive chapters as: Love & Dating; Gender & Other Politics; Animals; Art & Myth-Making; Humanity; Time, Space, and How to Navigate Them; Strangeness, Shyness, Sadness; and Notes to Self. Melancholy and hilarious, relatable and surreal, intensely personal yet surprisingly universal, Excuse Me brings together the best work so far by one of the most talented young comics artists working today.

The Book of Big Excuses

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Author :
Publisher : Hodder & Stoughton
ISBN 13 : 9780340970553
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (75 download)

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Book Synopsis The Book of Big Excuses by : Tracey Turner

Download or read book The Book of Big Excuses written by Tracey Turner and published by Hodder & Stoughton. This book was released on 2008 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Need to weasel your way out of blame? Or explain some strange behaviour? This is the book for you - for every type of situation, here are excuses from the historical to the hysterical.

No Excuses

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Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416545581
Total Pages : 853 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

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Book Synopsis No Excuses by : Robert Shrum

Download or read book No Excuses written by Robert Shrum and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2007-06-05 with total page 853 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He was named by The Atlantic Monthly as "the most sought-after strategist in the Democratic party." He was targeted by National Review as the Democratic Party's "poet goon." From his unique perspective, Robert Shrum gives us an epic and personal story of the struggle for power in America during the past four decades. With wit and humor, rare candor, and a wealth of detail, he vividly recounts the real personalities and real forces that shaped the outcome of the closest and most important elections of our time. We are there with Shrum in the back rooms, on the planes, and in the motorcades with Ted Kennedy, Al Gore, John Kerry, John Edwards, and Bill and Hillary Clinton. Shrum reveals the manipulations and limitations of old and new forms of political persuasion, from the historic and sometimes controversial speeches he wrote to the negative ads he created for national and statewide candidates, from prepping presidential nominees for critical debates to the deployment of the new political weapon, the Internet. He lifts the curtain on decisive moments. Did John Kerry and John Edwards actually believe in the Iraq war they voted for? What was the real reason the Kerry campaign didn't respond faster to the Swift Boat attacks? Why didn't Al Gore let Bill Clinton campaign all-out in 2000? How did Clinton get through the first perilous week of the Lewinsky scandal? This is a provocative journey through recent history: George McGovern's antiwar campaign of 1972, the improbable rise of Jimmy Carter, Senate campaigns that made historic breakthroughs and shaped the presidential contests of the future, the gifts that made Bill Clinton a great politician -- and the circumstances and calculations that kept him from being a great president. As strategist, adviser, and often friend to the leaders he enlisted with, Shrum shows them as they are, with their strengths and human weaknesses -- as well as his own. Assailed as a populist who pushed the Democratic Party, in a phrase he coined, "to stand for the people, not the powerful," Shrum argues that unlike Republicans from Reagan on, Democrats fall short, politically or in office, when they trim their convictions and walk away from fundamental issues -- like universal health coverage. This is one of the most fascinating books ever written about the victories and defeats, the causes and candidates, the "flawed heroes" that drive the high drama of American politics.

What's Your Excuse?

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Author :
Publisher : Thomas Nelson
ISBN 13 : 1418565253
Total Pages : 225 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (185 download)

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Book Synopsis What's Your Excuse? by : John P. Foppe

Download or read book What's Your Excuse? written by John P. Foppe and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2008-08-24 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this positive and practical memoir, John Foppe learns how to not only survive amidst insurmountable odds, but live a full life and inspire others to do the same. Born without arms, John has faced unique obstacles to living a normal life. But what he's always had is an indomitable faith?a faith that not only gives him the will to survive, but also the will to thrive. With a foreword by Zig Ziglar, John asks the reader hard questions and applies his own experiences as well as the unique insights he's developed. As a trained counselor and motivational speaker, John advises us how to: confidently confront adversity discover our own dynamic potential achieve accomplishment and fulfillment As John says, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, "All things are within reach." "John Foppe's book What's Your Excuse? is an inspiration just like he is for all those who have been touched by him." ?Jimmy Johnson, former NFL coach, Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins "If you truly want to reach your goals, then you must read What's Your Excuse?" ?Rudy Ruettiger, the inspiration behind the TriStar hit movie Rudy "Every one of us has survived some type of tragedy. John's story and practical insights help all of us to overcome the challenges in our lives. What's Your Excuse? is not just an inspirational book but a definitive 'how to' guide for triumphing over our problems." ?Dav Pelzer, number one international bestselling author of A Child Called It and Help Yourself

100 EXCUSES for Not Doing THINGS

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Author :
Publisher : Independently Published
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 100 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (55 download)

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Book Synopsis 100 EXCUSES for Not Doing THINGS by : May Betom Horrow

Download or read book 100 EXCUSES for Not Doing THINGS written by May Betom Horrow and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2021-02-06 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Has it ever happened to you that you don't want to go out with someone or do something and don't have an excuse ready? Thanks to this book, it will never happen again. A collection of the best excuses divided by categories that will help you avoid doing what is wrong with class.

Furiously Happy

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Author :
Publisher : Picador
ISBN 13 : 1743540256
Total Pages : 315 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (435 download)

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Book Synopsis Furiously Happy by : Jenny Lawson

Download or read book Furiously Happy written by Jenny Lawson and published by Picador. This book was released on 2015-10-01 with total page 315 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of David Sedaris, Tina Fey and Caitlin Moran comes the new book from Jenny Lawson, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Let's Pretend This Never Happened... In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Jenny Lawson regaled readers with uproarious stories of her bizarre childhood. In her new book, Furiously Happy, she explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. And terrible ideas are what Jenny does best. As Jenny says: "You can't experience pain without also experiencing the baffling and ridiculous moments of being fiercely, unapologetically, intensely and (above all) furiously happy." It's a philosophy that has - quite literally - saved her life. Jenny's first book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened, was ostensibly about family, but deep down it was about celebrating your own weirdness. Furiously Happy is a book about mental illness, but under the surface it's about embracing joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. And who doesn't need a bit more of that?

Excuse Me!

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780689837029
Total Pages : 32 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (37 download)

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Book Synopsis Excuse Me! by : Lisa Kopelke

Download or read book Excuse Me! written by Lisa Kopelke and published by . This book was released on 2003 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Frog has a problem. Burping makes him happy, but all the other frogs think it's disgusting. When he finds a town where everyone loves to burp, he finally realises that the other frogs may have been right after all. This comedy of bad manners will have children laughing out loud. And they will discover, like Frog, that a little manners can go a long way. Lisa Kopelke's lively text and witty illustrations showcase Frog and his overly gassy friends.

No Excuses!

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Author :
Publisher : Vanguard
ISBN 13 : 1593156138
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (931 download)

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Book Synopsis No Excuses! by : Brian Tracy

Download or read book No Excuses! written by Brian Tracy and published by Vanguard. This book was released on 2010-05-25 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Includes sections on self-discipline and personal success; business, sales and finances; and the good life.

1,001 Excuses!

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781559502085
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (2 download)

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Book Synopsis 1,001 Excuses! by : George D. Zgourides

Download or read book 1,001 Excuses! written by George D. Zgourides and published by . This book was released on 2000 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The current price for this title as of 3/07/05 is $12.95