Talk To Me Like Im Someone You Love Revised Edition

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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love

Author : Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D.
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101159553
Total Pages : 171 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (11 download)

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Book Synopsis Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love by : Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D.

Download or read book Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love written by Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D. and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2009-12-24 with total page 171 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars.”—Erin Meanley, Glamour.com A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics. We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love. A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others. This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include: • Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?" • Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?" • Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are." A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.

Fight Less, Love More

Author : Laurie Puhn
Publisher : Rodale
ISBN 13 : 1609618890
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (96 download)

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Book Synopsis Fight Less, Love More by : Laurie Puhn

Download or read book Fight Less, Love More written by Laurie Puhn and published by Rodale. This book was released on 2012-09-18 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Harvard-trained lawyer and mediator shows busy couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. In Fight Less, Love More, readers will learn how to identify the bad verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn’s modern voice presents simple 5-minute strategies create immediate, positive changes and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can continually employ when faced with conflict.

I Don't Want to Talk About It

Author : Terrence Real
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 0684865394
Total Pages : 390 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (848 download)

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Book Synopsis I Don't Want to Talk About It by : Terrence Real

Download or read book I Don't Want to Talk About It written by Terrence Real and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 1999-03-11 with total page 390 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.

31 Days to a Happy Husband

Author : Arlene Pellicane
Publisher : Harvest House Publishers
ISBN 13 : 0736946330
Total Pages : 210 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (369 download)

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Book Synopsis 31 Days to a Happy Husband by : Arlene Pellicane

Download or read book 31 Days to a Happy Husband written by Arlene Pellicane and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2012-08-01 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What does a man need most from his wife? Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to a Younger You, asked numerous husbands that question. Based on their answers, Pellicane identified five keys that will give wives a new appreciation and understanding of how to love and care for their mates. Domestic tranquility—A husband needs a peaceful haven. Respect—A husband needs to be honored in his home. Eros—A husband needs a fulfilling sex life. Attraction—A husband needs to be attracted to his wife. Mutual activities—A husband needs to have fun with his wife. Along with identifying a husband’s needs, Pellicane provides practical instruction to motivate and equip wives to show their husbands the care and affection they long for. Every day a wife is either building her husband up or tearing him down. This book offers wives a 31-day, no holding back, life-changing building program for their marriages.

Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away

Author : Gary Chapman
Publisher : Moody Publishers
ISBN 13 : 0802496423
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (24 download)

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Book Synopsis Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away by : Gary Chapman

Download or read book Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away written by Gary Chapman and published by Moody Publishers. This book was released on 2018-03-06 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What to do when you feel like giving up When you said, “I do,” you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.” Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away, the revised and updated edition of the award-winning Desparate Marriages, teaches you how to: Recognize and reject the myths that hold you captive Better understand your spouse’s behavior Take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions Make choices that can have a lasting, positive impact on you and your spouse An experienced marriage and family counselor, Gary Chapman speaks to those whose spouse is any of the following: Irresponsible A workaholic Controlling Uncommunicative Verbally abusive Physically abusive Sexually abusive Unfaithful Addicted to alcohol or drugs Depressed Marriage has the same potential to be miserable as it does to be blissful. Read Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away to learn how you can turn things around.

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples

Author : John M. Gottman
Publisher : W. W. Norton & Company
ISBN 13 : 0393707407
Total Pages : 667 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (937 download)

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Book Synopsis The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples by : John M. Gottman

Download or read book The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples written by John M. Gottman and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2011-05-09 with total page 667 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

The Normal Bar

Author : Chrisanna Northrup
Publisher : Harmony
ISBN 13 : 0307955745
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (79 download)

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Book Synopsis The Normal Bar by : Chrisanna Northrup

Download or read book The Normal Bar written by Chrisanna Northrup and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2013-02-05 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on data obtained from nearly 100,000 respondents, here is the ultimate resource for anyone who wants to learn the relationship-tested ways couples can achieve satisfaction and contentment in areas such as communication, sex, affection, and financial cooperation. What constitutes “normal” behavior among happy couples? What steps you should take if that “normal” is one you want to strive for? To help answer those questions, wellness entrepreneur Chrisanna Northrup teamed with two of America’s top sociologists, Yale Ph.D. Pepper Schwartz and Harvard Ph.D. James Witte, to design a unique interactive survey that would draw feedback from around the world. What has resulted is the clearest picture yet of how well couples are communicating, romancing each other, satisfying each other in the bedroom, sharing financial responsibilities, and staying faithful – or not. Since the Normal Bar survey methodology sorts for age and gender, racial and geographic differences and sexual preferences, the authors are able to reveal , for example, what happens to passion as we grow older, which gender wants what when it comes to sex, the factors that spur marital combat, how kids figure in, how being gay or bisexual turns out to be both different and the same, and –regardless of background -- the tiny habits that drive partners absolutely batty. The book is dense with revelations, from the unexpected popularity of certain sexual positions, to the average number of times happy – and unhappy -- couples kiss, to the prevalence of lying, to the surprising loyalty most men and women feel for their partner (even when in a deteriorating relationship), to the vivid and idiosyncratic ways individuals of different ages, genders and nationalities describe their “ideal romantic evening.” Much more than a peek behind the relationship curtain, The Normal Bar offers readers an array of prescriptive tools that will help them establish a “new normal.” Mindful of what keeps couples stuck in ruts, the book’s authors suggest practical and life-changing ways to break cycles of disappointment and frustration.

No More Mr Nice Guy

Author : Dr Robert A Glover
Publisher : Sanage Publishing House Llp
ISBN 13 : 9789391560485
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (64 download)

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Book Synopsis No More Mr Nice Guy by : Dr Robert A Glover

Download or read book No More Mr Nice Guy written by Dr Robert A Glover and published by Sanage Publishing House Llp. This book was released on 2022-11-02 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.

Five-Minute Relationship Repair

Author : Susan Campbell, PhD,
Publisher : New World Library
ISBN 13 : 1932073728
Total Pages : 298 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (32 download)

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Book Synopsis Five-Minute Relationship Repair by : Susan Campbell, PhD,

Download or read book Five-Minute Relationship Repair written by Susan Campbell, PhD, and published by New World Library. This book was released on 2015-01-20 with total page 298 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Tool Kit No Relationship Should Be Without Long-term happiness in love depends on a couple’s ability to repair the inevitable rifts and differences, large and small, that occur in any relationship. Neuroscience suggests that relationship upsets are best mended quickly, or they accumulate in long-term memory, increase reactive communication, and become harder to repair successfully. And good repair takes five minutes or less! This book offers practical tools and suggested scripts for resolving problems and having your needs met. Following its guidance, you can turn difficulties into opportunities to foster love, trust, and thriving intimacy.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

Author : Raymond Carver
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 1101970588
Total Pages : 169 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (19 download)

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Book Synopsis What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by : Raymond Carver

Download or read book What We Talk About When We Talk About Love written by Raymond Carver and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2015-05-25 with total page 169 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most celebrated story collection from “one of the true American masters” (The New York Review of Books)—a haunting meditation on love, loss, and companionship, and finding one’s way through the dark that includes the iconic and much-referenced title story featured in the Academy Award-winning film Birdman. "Raymond Carver's America is ... clouded by pain and the loss of dreams, but it is not as fragile as it looks. It is a place of survivors and a place of stories.... [Carver] has done what many of the most gifted writers fail to do: He has invented a country of his own, like no other except that very world, as Wordsworth said, which is the world to all of us." —The New York Times Book Review

True Love Dates

Author : Debra K. Fileta
Publisher : Zondervan
ISBN 13 : 0310336805
Total Pages : 212 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (13 download)

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Book Synopsis True Love Dates by : Debra K. Fileta

Download or read book True Love Dates written by Debra K. Fileta and published by Zondervan. This book was released on 2013-10-08 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating.

In Love

Author : Amy Bloom
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0593243943
Total Pages : 241 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (932 download)

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Book Synopsis In Love by : Amy Bloom

Download or read book In Love written by Amy Bloom and published by Random House. This book was released on 2022-03-08 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A powerful memoir of a love that leads two people to find a courageous way to part—and a woman’s struggle to go forward in the face of loss—that “enriches the reader’s life with urgency and gratitude” (The Washington Post) “A pleasure to read . . . Rarely has a memoir about death been so full of life. . . . Bloom has a talent for mixing the prosaic and profound, the slapstick and the serious.”—USA Today ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: NPR Amy Bloom began to notice changes in her husband, Brian: He retired early from a new job he loved; he withdrew from close friendships; he talked mostly about the past. Suddenly, it seemed there was a glass wall between them, and their long walks and talks stopped. Their world was altered forever when an MRI confirmed what they could no longer ignore: Brian had Alzheimer’s disease. Forced to confront the truth of the diagnosis and its impact on the future he had envisioned, Brian was determined to die on his feet, not live on his knees. Supporting each other in their last journey together, Brian and Amy made the unimaginably difficult and painful decision to go to Dignitas, an organization based in Switzerland that empowers a person to end their own life with dignity and peace. In this heartbreaking and surprising memoir, Bloom sheds light on a part of life we so often shy away from discussing—its ending. Written in Bloom’s captivating, insightful voice and with her trademark wit and candor, In Love is an unforgettable portrait of a beautiful marriage, and a boundary-defying love.

Between the World and Me

Author : Ta-Nehisi Coates
Publisher : One World
ISBN 13 : 0679645985
Total Pages : 163 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (796 download)

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Book Synopsis Between the World and Me by : Ta-Nehisi Coates

Download or read book Between the World and Me written by Ta-Nehisi Coates and published by One World. This book was released on 2015-07-14 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NATIONAL BOOK AWARD WINNER • NAMED ONE OF TIME’S TEN BEST NONFICTION BOOKS OF THE DECADE • PULITZER PRIZE FINALIST • NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE AWARD FINALIST • ONE OF OPRAH’S “BOOKS THAT HELP ME THROUGH” • NOW AN HBO ORIGINAL SPECIAL EVENT Hailed by Toni Morrison as “required reading,” a bold and personal literary exploration of America’s racial history by “the most important essayist in a generation and a writer who changed the national political conversation about race” (Rolling Stone) NAMED ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL BOOKS OF THE DECADE BY CNN • NAMED ONE OF PASTE’S BEST MEMOIRS OF THE DECADE • NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The New York Times Book Review • O: The Oprah Magazine • The Washington Post • People • Entertainment Weekly • Vogue • Los Angeles Times • San Francisco Chronicle • Chicago Tribune • New York • Newsday • Library Journal • Publishers Weekly In a profound work that pivots from the biggest questions about American history and ideals to the most intimate concerns of a father for his son, Ta-Nehisi Coates offers a powerful new framework for understanding our nation’s history and current crisis. Americans have built an empire on the idea of “race,” a falsehood that damages us all but falls most heavily on the bodies of black women and men—bodies exploited through slavery and segregation, and, today, threatened, locked up, and murdered out of all proportion. What is it like to inhabit a black body and find a way to live within it? And how can we all honestly reckon with this fraught history and free ourselves from its burden? Between the World and Me is Ta-Nehisi Coates’s attempt to answer these questions in a letter to his adolescent son. Coates shares with his son—and readers—the story of his awakening to the truth about his place in the world through a series of revelatory experiences, from Howard University to Civil War battlefields, from the South Side of Chicago to Paris, from his childhood home to the living rooms of mothers whose children’s lives were taken as American plunder. Beautifully woven from personal narrative, reimagined history, and fresh, emotionally charged reportage, Between the World and Me clearly illuminates the past, bracingly confronts our present, and offers a transcendent vision for a way forward.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about it

Author : Patricia Love
Publisher : Broadway
ISBN 13 : 0767923170
Total Pages : 224 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (679 download)

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Book Synopsis How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about it by : Patricia Love

Download or read book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about it written by Patricia Love and published by Broadway. This book was released on 2007-01-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Offers practical suggestions for how to enhance a marriage, explains behaviors that can break up a marriage, and argues that talking about a relationship will not bring partners closer together.

Dying to Be Me

Author : Anita Moorjani
Publisher : Hay House, Inc
ISBN 13 : 1401937527
Total Pages : 218 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (19 download)

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Book Synopsis Dying to Be Me by : Anita Moorjani

Download or read book Dying to Be Me written by Anita Moorjani and published by Hay House, Inc. This book was released on 2022-03-08 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! "I had the choice to come back ... or not. I chose to return when I realized that 'heaven' is a state, not a place" In this truly inspirational memoir, Anita Moorjani relates how, after fighting cancer for almost four years, her body began shutting down—overwhelmed by the malignant cells spreading throughout her system. As her organs failed, she entered into an extraordinary near-death experience where she realized her inherent worth . . . and the actual cause of her disease. Upon regaining consciousness, Anita found that her condition had improved so rapidly that she was released from the hospital within weeks—without a trace of cancer in her body! Within this enhanced e-book, Anita recounts—in words and on video—stories of her childhood in Hong Kong, her challenge to establish her career and find true love, as well as how she eventually ended up in that hospital bed where she defied all medical knowledge. In "Dying to Be Me," Anita Freely shares all she has learned about illness, healing, fear, "being love," and the true magnificence of each and every human being!

Everything I Know About Love

Author : Dolly Alderton
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062968807
Total Pages : 314 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (629 download)

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Book Synopsis Everything I Know About Love by : Dolly Alderton

Download or read book Everything I Know About Love written by Dolly Alderton and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2020-02-25 with total page 314 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times Bestseller "There is no writer quite like Dolly Alderton working today and very soon the world will know it.” —Lisa Taddeo, author of #1 New York Times bestseller Three Women “Dolly Alderton has always been a sparkling Roman candle of talent. She is funny, smart, and explosively engaged in the wonders and weirdness of the world. But what makes this memoir more than mere entertainment is the mature and sophisticated evolution that Alderton describes in these pages. It’s a beautifully told journey and a thoughtful, important book. I loved it.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love and City of Girls The wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking internationally bestselling memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love along the ride When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, journalist and former Sunday Times columnist Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, realizing that Ivan from the corner shop might just be the only reliable man in her life, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Love is about bad dates, good friends and—above all else— realizing that you are enough. Glittering with wit and insight, heart and humor, Dolly Alderton’s unforgettable debut weaves together personal stories, satirical observations, a series of lists, recipes, and other vignettes that will strike a chord of recognition with women of every age—making you want to pick up the phone and tell your best friends all about it. Like Bridget Jones’ Diary but all true, Everything I Know About Love is about the struggles of early adulthood in all its terrifying and hopeful uncertainty.

The State of Affairs

Author : Esther Perel
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062322605
Total Pages : 321 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (623 download)

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Book Synopsis The State of Affairs by : Esther Perel

Download or read book The State of Affairs written by Esther Perel and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-10-10 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”