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Santas Lap
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Download or read book On Santa's Lap written by N. K. Pockett and published by . This book was released on 2016-06-20 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Santa is scary with his pot stomach and beard that God knows what's inside and his abusive name calling. I mean, he calls everyone hoes." Evelyn Monroe hates Christmas with a passion, and she vows to hate it till the day she dies. Up until she was seventeen, she was a firm believer about all things Christmas, including that Father Christmas exists. But after reality slapped her hard, all she wants to do with Christmas spirit is to shoot it down. Christmas season drives her borderline crazy, and things just got a tad harder when an insanely hot Santa with a six-pack starts following her around. Nik McArthur a.k.a 'Santa' was busy greeting kids when he saw the Grinch in human form, albeit a prettier and more charming version. Now, he wants nothing short of her for Christmas, and he's gonna find her and turn her into his own little elf no matter how fast she runs. Between holiday parties and a Santa stalker hot on her heels, Evelyn is clearly struggling to keep up. Everything only goes off the charts hilarious when a jealous ex and a six-year- old kid whoknows way too much join the mix. Will this daft turn of events push her over the edge? Or will it make her believe in Chistmas once more? On a different note, will Nik ever discover why she hates Christmas so much? One thing's for sure, this will take a Christmas miracle to sort out. Looking for a witty yet heart-warming Christmas tale that's sure to crack you up? Join Evelyn on her most awkward Christmas as of yet, grab your copy now!
Book Synopsis The Two Sides of Santa's Lap by : Jae El Foster
Download or read book The Two Sides of Santa's Lap written by Jae El Foster and published by . This book was released on 2020-11 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Enjoy the magic of Christmas with this eclectic anthology of six exquisitely entertaining stories by three remarkable authors. Displaying both sides of Santa's list - the naughty and the nice - Christmas has never felt so fun! Romance melds with such genres as contemporary, comedy, thriller, and action adventure in this exciting and incomparable collection of sweet and spicy enjoyment. Whether you've been good or bad this year, Santa has a treat in this sack of goodies that is just perfect to satisfy your cravings. Have a seat on Santa's lap and let all of your literary Christmas wishes be granted.
Book Synopsis Santa's Book of Knowledge by : Santa Al Horton
Download or read book Santa's Book of Knowledge written by Santa Al Horton and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2011-06 with total page 395 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever thought what the world would be like if I didn't carry that sack and make that sleigh ride each year? I know one thing; there wouldn't be a need for a Naughty and Nice list anymore. Can you imagine all those children and their sad little faces? I could never give up this cause because the children are so angelic with those bright and cheery smiles when they look at you or the presents you leave on Christmas morning. -- Santa Claus
Download or read book Scared of Santa written by Denise Joyce and published by William Morrow Paperbacks. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He's huge and hairy and hulking. He dresses in strange furry clothing. He sneaks into people's homes at night. Who wouldn't be afraid of . . . Santa Claus ?!? Nothing says Christmas quite like innocent children shrieking with terror as a stranger dressed in red drags them kicking and screaming onto his lap. Now this time-honored rite of passage is celebrated with a hilarious collection of more than two hundred and fifty priceless photos of kids' traumatic trips to Santa's workshop. Scared of Santa offers a cornucopia of photographic funnies—from sixty-year-old family heirlooms to last year's howlers—along with delightful commentary on those unforgettable childhood visits to scary ol' Saint Nick.
Download or read book Sketchy Santas written by Will Zweigart and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ho, ho, huh? Who’s that excessively jolly fellow with the fake beard, shifty eyes, sweaty hands, and boozy breath? Why, it’s not just Santa but sketchy Santa! Yes, ’tis the season for awkward photos of small children posed precariously on the laps of some of the most clownish, irritable, and just plain weird-looking Santa wannabes—guys you’d give a wide berth to if you passed them on the street. Inside this painfully hilarious collection of holiday photos, you’ll discover the pop culture history of the sketchy Santa, and how to identify sketchy Santas in shopping malls everywhere . . . making this the perfect gift for anyone who understands that "He sees you when you’re sleeping" is a deeply disturbing thought.
Book Synopsis The Santa Claus Chronicles by : Dan Short
Download or read book The Santa Claus Chronicles written by Dan Short and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2019-10-01 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa Dan’s Stories Will Soothe Your Soul Thirty years ago, Dan Short left the corporate world to follow a calling—to give the gift of God’s love to children and adults alike. How did he do it? By becoming Santa Claus, of course! These are “Santa Dan’s” tales of hope and humor, collected from his three decades of playing Jolly Old Saint Nick. And as you might have guessed, Santa has his share of stories to tell—some tearful, some joyful, and all of them filled with heartwarming Christmas spirit. You’ll meet some of the unforgettable people Santa Dan has encountered… Anna, a young cancer patient whose fulfillment of her dying wish becomes a life-changing experience for those around her. Rose, an elderly woman with a longstanding grudge against Saint Nick. Terry, a precocious boy with more moxie than clothing. Front Yard Santa, a neighborhood icon whose passing prompts a poignant gesture from a fellow Santa. Faith, Hope, and Grace, three enterprising young girls whose overwhelming generosity befits their virtuous names. …and you’ll be inspired to share the joy of Jesus with those around you!
Download or read book Santa's Baby written by Chantal Roome and published by Chantal Roome. This book was released on 2023-12-15 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 𝙂𝙚𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙡𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙮 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙮, 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙖'𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙗𝙮. Phoebe Fox, media manager for a rock band and single mom to the surprise baby she conceived last Christmas, is spending this holiday season tracking down the Santa who got her pregnant and giving him the chance to know his son. And if she gets to replay the single best night of her life when she finds him, well, that's even better. Archer Fade, factory owner and sometime Santa Claus impersonator, is so focused on improving the culture at the toy factory he inherited that romance isn't on his radar, even if he can't get the runaway bride from that amazing night a year ago out of his head. When Phoebe finds Archer and a chance meeting makes her think he has a gorgeous model girlfriend, she leaves her hopes of a repeat rendezvous behind in favor of helping him be a dad to their son. So what happens when she finds out he's actually single and just as interested in repeating their one night as she is? And what will it mean when she learns he has a few naughty surprises of his own? 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘬𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 (𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺) 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘳, 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘤𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴. 18+
Book Synopsis Santa Claus Confidential by : Kevin Neary
Download or read book Santa Claus Confidential written by Kevin Neary and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-11-05 with total page 121 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hilarious, true stories from a professional Santa Claus! For the past twenty-five years, Kevin Neary has lived a double life. He even went as far as wearing a disguise and altering his appearance. Yes, it is true that during this time, he played the role of Santa Claus for a local department store. In Santa Claus Confidential, Neary describes his experiences working as Santa and the interactions with the clever children he encountered. Some of the many hilarious topics he discusses include: Why Santa never introduces new reindeer to his crew. How Santa can enter the home when it has no chimney. Whether Santa’s sleigh has safety belts. How long Santa and Mrs. Claus have been married. And many others! The perfect Christmas gift, Neary’s delightful tales are bound to get you feeling the holiday spirit!
Download or read book Santa's Destiny written by Tami Lund and published by Tami Lund. This book was released on 2021-12-01 with total page 72 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Des (don’t call her Destiny—she hates that name) is an elf with a problem. A jolly, red-suit wearing, gift-bearing, reindeer-loving problem. Turns out, someone has stolen Santa Claus’s magic. And it’s three days before Christmas. What’s an elf to do? Help him out, of course. That’s her specialty, after all. Except that creates a whole new problem: Des has to work closely with the Man in Red while keeping her presents under wraps, because there is definitely one thing she will not do. Ride in Santa’s sleigh tonight.
Download or read book Santa's Yule Log written by James Osborn and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2009-07 with total page 62 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the story of an everyday American hero: Terry Schmidt, a Colorado cowboy who holds the "Office" of Santa Claus. This book chronicles his experiences as Santa Claus and the stories of the people he has touched. When you're Santa Claus, children give you mementos, wish lists, funny and heartwarming moments, and sometimes the cold virus going around the elementary school. In this book you will find some of the treasures Terry has collected over the years (minus the cold, of course). Also in this book, you will find pictures of Santa Terry, a couple of his stories told in his cowboy way, and some newspaper articles that have been written about him over the years.
Download or read book Sunbreaks written by Greg Messel and published by Trafford Publishing. This book was released on 2009-09-23 with total page 303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After losing his beloved wife to a drunk driver, fifty-three year old Tom Walker retreats into dark clouds of depression, isolating himself from friends, family, and the things he loves. Gloomy days turn into years and just when it seems there will be no break in the clouds, a light appears, in the form of a dazzling young woman named Erika Stevens. Tom is old enough to be her father, but he refuses to let their chance encounter in a rain-soaked city parking lot go to waste, and as the two strangers move from public coffee dates to something more, they make a surprising Valentines Day pact friendship at all costs. But can men and women really be just friends? And is age really, as Erika says, just a number? Set in the vibrant (and famously rainy) city of Portland, Oregon, Tom and Erikas story serves as a potent reminder that even the seemingly endless storm clouds of life have breaks sun breaks that seem to come in the most unexpected places.
Download or read book Spy written by and published by . This book was released on 1986-12 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Smart. Funny. Fearless."It's pretty safe to say that Spy was the most influential magazine of the 1980s. It might have remade New York's cultural landscape; it definitely changed the whole tone of magazine journalism. It was cruel, brilliant, beautifully written and perfectly designed, and feared by all. There's no magazine I know of that's so continually referenced, held up as a benchmark, and whose demise is so lamented" --Dave Eggers. "It's a piece of garbage" --Donald Trump.
Download or read book Santa's Pet written by Rachelle Ayala and published by Rachelle Ayala. This book was released on 2018-04-18 with total page 490 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis A Very Paranormal Family: Striking Out On Our Own by : William J. Smith
Download or read book A Very Paranormal Family: Striking Out On Our Own written by William J. Smith and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-09-04 with total page 334 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Smiths are back at it again, investigating more haunted houses with the "Paranormal Society of America", but when neighbors of theirs, when they find out that they are paranormal investigators through an appearance of "the Society", on an obscure TV show, and the rest of the team is busy with other cases, the Smiths strike out on their own using their own experiences with the paranormal to help out their neighbors
Book Synopsis Santa's Thirty-Five-Year Sleigh Ride by : Charles Jeffrey Noel
Download or read book Santa's Thirty-Five-Year Sleigh Ride written by Charles Jeffrey Noel and published by Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.. This book was released on 2020-12-10 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The title of my book, Santa's Thirty-Five Year Sleigh Ride: Memoirs of a Professional Career as Santa Claus, states the basic summary of my book and alerts the reader of what to expect. It contains many of my favorite memories (memoirs) of my career as a professional Santa Claus over the past thirty-five years. To me, children are special, and they deserve to be happy. At first contact, I have no idea of their background or their circumstances. I just do my best to make them feel like the most important person in the world. The few minutes they have with me (as Santa Claus) might very well be the only time during the entire year that they feel special, important, and loved. My memoirs are full of interesting stories, sad stories and true tales of surprising adventures and events in the life of a modern-day Santa Claus. Since I love humor, and I think that most people do, I have included my most memorable stories that are memorable because of the humor involved. And perhaps some of my favorite memories will become some of yours as well. Maybe you have wondered what a Santa Claus does, what experience he has had, or why he became a Santa Claus in the first place. Perhaps you have wondered what credentials he has to have or what type of personality he needs to be a great and convincing Santa Claus. If so, my book will be of great interest and value to you. I, as Santa, have had many, many precious moments with children; I have had both funny and sad moments that may bring you to tears. I've smiled, I've laughed, and I've cried. You will too. And if you've ever wondered what it would be like to be a Santa Claus and make a child smile by just being there...my book will help you to understand. And finally, if you have ever considered actually donning the red suit and portraying the 'Jolly Old Elf' yourself, my book may very well push you over the top.
Book Synopsis The Evangelical’s Daughter by : Debra Roberts Torres-Reyes
Download or read book The Evangelical’s Daughter written by Debra Roberts Torres-Reyes and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2017-02-21 with total page 286 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One day, Frankie Roberts hears a preacher pronounce that a woman’s place is in the home, not in the pulpit. But this mother of four daughters and wife of a pastor in New Jersey won’t hear of it; she knows she has a special calling. In 1959, Frankie packs up her children, leaves her husband, and moves to Sioux City, Iowa, to start a ministry. In this memoir, one of Frankie’s daughters, the author Debra Roberts Torres-Reyes narrates her mother’s story. Availing herself of both humor and honesty, Torres-Reyes describes being raised by Pentecostal Holiness Ministers and living with a fanatical preacher mother who inflicts both physical and verbal abuse on her offspring. The author reflects on how the church’s views and actions—speaking in tongues, casting out demons, and dancing in the spirit—caused her to grow up with poor self-esteem, to suffer panic attacks, and to live in constant mental and emotional torment about The Rapture, demons, the devil, and hell. The Evangelical’s Daughter describes how Torres-Reyes ultimately breaks out of a self-destructive lifestyle, joins the military, and later attends college and law school, finally becoming an attorney. This is one woman’s true story about finding God and leaving religious dogma behind.
Download or read book Santa Claus written by Pat Koch and published by Arcadia Publishing. This book was released on 2013-11-25 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa Claus, Indiana, acquired its famous name in 1856 and has been celebrating the spirit of Christmas ever since. Postmaster James Martin began answering childrens letters to Santa and his elves in 1914, a tradition that continues to this day and makes Santa Claus a favored destination for those seeking the holiday spirit. The towns unique name prompted Robert Ripley to feature it in his popular cartoon strip, and businessmen such as Carl Barrett and Milton Harris raced to erect Christmas attractions as early as 1935. Beating Walt Disney by nearly a decade, Louis J. Koch opened Santa Claus Land, the nations first theme park, in 1946. Today, visitors still flock to Santa Claus to share in the magic of Americas Christmas Hometown.
