Men Are Stupid . . . And They Like Big Boobs

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Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416599223
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

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Book Synopsis Men Are Stupid . . . And They Like Big Boobs by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Men Are Stupid . . . And They Like Big Boobs written by Joan Rivers and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-12-30 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Delivered with Joan's signature sense of humour, Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs is a no-nonsense, common-sense, "can-we-talk" guide to the ins and outs of such increasingly common beauty procedures as botox injections, chemical peels, microdermabrasion, liposuction, rhinoplasty, eye lifts, breast augmentation-and much more. Chapters include: Peels and Fillers, Sucks to Be You, Eyes Wide Open, Care Enough to Do Your Very, Very Breast, Less Where You Don't Want It, More Where You Do, and Bringing Up the Rear. Filled with practical wisdom and plenty of wisecracks, this fun and inspirational guide is for every woman who wants to look and feel gorgeous.

Having a Baby Can be a Scream

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Author :
Publisher : Tarcher
ISBN 13 : 9780874770193
Total Pages : 150 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (71 download)

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Book Synopsis Having a Baby Can be a Scream by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Having a Baby Can be a Scream written by Joan Rivers and published by Tarcher. This book was released on 1974 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Bouncing Back

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Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062004557
Total Pages : 148 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (62 download)

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Book Synopsis Bouncing Back by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Bouncing Back written by Joan Rivers and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-08-31 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fiercely honest and moving story of how Joan Rivers, one of comedy's greatest stars, survived the worst that life could throw at her, how she hit bottom and then made it back to the top. "There are many self-help books by Ph.D's, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A. — I've Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but on gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune." —From Bouncing Back Survival stratagems from Joan Rivers Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger And always remember: Surviving is the best revenge Look at Alexander Graham Bell, who did 22,000 experiments before he hit on the telephone. Just a few more and he would have had call waiting Whenever I hit bottom, the only thing I think of was set down by Jerome Kern: Pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Dr. Kevorkian will get no call from me, unless I think he'd look good in a brooch.

Don't Count the Candles

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Author :
Publisher : HarperTorch
ISBN 13 : 9780061097973
Total Pages : 240 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (979 download)

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Book Synopsis Don't Count the Candles by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Don't Count the Candles written by Joan Rivers and published by HarperTorch. This book was released on 2000-05-02 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There's No Such Thing As Over The Hill, Because The Hill Has Been Moved!In this humorous, practical book, Joan Rivers shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any--and every--age. Filled with the latest information as well as entertaining anecdotes and stories, Don't Count the Candles provides down-to-earth, sensible advice on everything that every woman needs to be her best, from wardrobe and fitness to surgery and sex.Here is Joan Rivers's own unique take on aging: IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five. At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short. Eat all you want, just don't swallow it. A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away--unless he happens to be in the hay with you. Take it from Joan Rivers--you've got a lot of living left to do!

Jewelry by Joan Rivers

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781558598089
Total Pages : 164 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (98 download)

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Book Synopsis Jewelry by Joan Rivers by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Jewelry by Joan Rivers written by Joan Rivers and published by . This book was released on 1995 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Joan Rivers adores jewelry. She loves to shop for it, wear it, and design it. She also loves to talk about it, which is just what she does throughout this glittering volume. Her passion for jewelry - as romantic keepsake, fashion accessory, and personal statement - informs every page of Jewelry by Joan Rivers. She describes the pieces that she has always admired, particularly those that have influenced her own designs. She tells the fascinating stories of her favorite jewelry designers, from the fabulous Faberge to the phenomenal Bulgari brothers. She devotes a chapter to accessorizing with jewelry, offering countless tips on how to turn that plain outfit into a totally chic ensemble by knowing what jewelry to select, and demonstrating the different looks that jewelry can achieve in a series of fashion photographs taken exclusively for this book." "All of Joan River's love and knowledge of jewelry is reflected in the pieces she designs for her own line of costume jewelry - the Joan Rivers Classics Collection - hundreds of which are reproduced here in specially commissioned, full-color photographs. And she takes us behind the scenes to show us how her jewelry is crafted, from initial sketches to finished product."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Diary of a Mad Diva

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Author :
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101632046
Total Pages : 304 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis Diary of a Mad Diva by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Diary of a Mad Diva written by Joan Rivers and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-07-01 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the headline-making, New York Times bestselling author of I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me comes another intimate glimpse into the delightfully hilarious mind of Joan Rivers. When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas, at first Joan is horrified—who the hell does Melissa think she is? That fat pig, Bridget Jones? But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say. About everything. And everyone, God help them. The result? A no-holds-barred, delightfully vicious and always hilarious look at the everyday life of the ultimate diva. Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars, never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events, and excoriating insights about life, pop culture, and celebrities (from A to D list), all in her relentlessly funny signature style. This is the Diary of a Mad Diva. Forget about Anais Nin, Anne Frank, and Sylvia Plath. For the first time in a century, a diary by someone that’s actually worth reading.

I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me

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Author :
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101580887
Total Pages : 272 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (15 download)

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Book Synopsis I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me written by Joan Rivers and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-06-05 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “An entertaining rant…The only thing missing is the sound of a drumroll and cymbals to feel as though one is sitting in a nightclub watching a live comedy marathon…A raucous, biting look at life.”—Kirkus Reviews “Nobody, but nobody, can hate like Joan Rivers. It is a gift. It is also shocking, the things she makes us laugh at…Joan Rivers is extraordinary, but she's not for the easily offended—or for anyone who gets offended at all.”—People Joan Rivers, comedienne, actress, jewelry monger, and an award-winning international star (she can sneer in eight different languages) lives by her own golden rule: Do unto others before they do unto you—and for God’s sakes, do it funny! Her career in comedy may have begun with self-loathing, but, after looking at the human decrepitude around her, she figured Why stop here when there are so many other things to hate? With all of her diverse experiences, Joan has looked down at, turned away from, and thrown up over a lot of hateful things, deplorable places, and despicable people. Thank God she took notes. Here—uncensored and uninhibited—Joan says exactly what’s on her mind…And HER mind is a terrible thing to waste. She proudly kicks the crap out of ugly children, dating rituals, funerals, and lousy restaurants. She nails First Ladies, closet cases, and hypocrites to the wall. She shows no mercy towards doctors and feminists, and even goes after Anne Frank and Stephen Hawking. Joan lets everyone—including herself—have it in this one hundred percent honest and unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.

From Mother to Daughter

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Author :
Publisher : Birch Lane Press
ISBN 13 : 9781559724937
Total Pages : 104 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (249 download)

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Book Synopsis From Mother to Daughter by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book From Mother to Daughter written by Joan Rivers and published by Birch Lane Press. This book was released on 1998 with total page 104 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this remarkable, touching, and timely book--which grew out of a letter to her daughter Melissa--comedienne and talk show host Joan Rivers writes about a series of highly personal but universal subjects, including religion, fate, sex, life changes, the importance of touching and contact, money, trust, love, and death.

It's Probably Nothing...*

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Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 147671276X
Total Pages : 160 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (767 download)

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Book Synopsis It's Probably Nothing...* by : Micki Myers

Download or read book It's Probably Nothing...* written by Micki Myers and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Daring, sly, and unlike any other book you’ve read, this memoir-in-poems tackles cancer with a bawdy wit guaranteed to “make you laugh in cancer’s face” (Marisa Acocella Marchetto, author of Cancer Vixen). As a vibrant woman in her late thirties, a mother of two, poet, artist, and teacher, Micki Myers decided to confront her cancer diagnosis head on with the sharpest tools in her arsenal: namely, her sense of humor and unbridled poetic license. The result is a charming, poignant, laugh-out-loud collection that hits all the highs (morphine) and lows (everything else) of being a cancer patient and surviving with your spirit intact (even if your boobs are not). It’s Probably Nothing. . .* provides the perfect blend of wit and pathos to help you or a loved one achieve much-needed perspective on this frightening journey, whether recently diagnosed or reveling in remission. From losing your hair (even, ahem, down there) and gaining two bouncy silicone strangers, to the pitfalls of marijuana therapy and the endless chemo-room muzak “that makes you think / sur­vival might be overrated,” Myers reminds you that you’re not alone and that it’s okay to laugh.

Still Talking

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Author :
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 9780712655712
Total Pages : 314 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (557 download)

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Book Synopsis Still Talking by : Joan Rivers

Download or read book Still Talking written by Joan Rivers and published by Vintage. This book was released on 1992 with total page 314 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

The Reasons I Won't Be Coming

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Author :
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 9781594482236
Total Pages : 338 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (822 download)

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Book Synopsis The Reasons I Won't Be Coming by : Elliot Perlman

Download or read book The Reasons I Won't Be Coming written by Elliot Perlman and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-12-05 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The stories in this collection explore the complex worlds of lovers, poets, lawyers, immigrants, students, and murderers. They tell of corporate betrayals and lost opportunities, and of the obsessions, hopes, fears, and vagaries of desire.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks

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Author :
Publisher : Crown
ISBN 13 : 0307717380
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks by : Adam Carolla

Download or read book In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-05-17 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid

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Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416595058
Total Pages : 257 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

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Book Synopsis Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid by : Howard J Morris

Download or read book Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid written by Howard J Morris and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-09-15 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE REVEALiNG, RiP-ROARiNGLY FUNNY GUiDE TO MAKiNG EVERY RELATiONSHiP SMARTER, SANER, AND HAPPiER. Since the dawn of time, when the first smitten caveboy tried to woo the object of his affections by shoving her into the mud, men have demonstrated that when it comes to women, they are profoundly stupid. And when it comes to men, women -- no matter how intelligent or mature -- are completely crazy. Based on this simple yet groundbreaking insight, comedy writers and real-life couple Howard J. Morris and Jenny Lee have devised a relationship guide that is refreshingly honest, completely hilarious, and surprisingly practical. Using their own crazy/stupid romance as an example of these forces in action, they set out to explain why women ask questions that they absolutely do not want answered -- and why men persist in answering them. What are men really thinking -- or crucially, not thinking? Why do women view even the most mundane events through an emotional prism? Why do guys suck at being romantic? And why does every conversation with a woman lead back to whether or not she's fat? Using wit, hard-earned wisdom, and a highly entertaining he said/she said format, the authors explore the surprising method to his dumbness and the valid reasons behind her insanity, while providing real solutions to perennial relationship problems. By teaching men how and why they're stupid around women and showing women how to "control the crazy" for everybody's sake, Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid helps couples to reach the place where giving isn't giving in, needing isn't needy, and where the sexes can break the dysfunctional patterns and find a way to live lovingly, happily ever after.

To the Nines

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Publisher : St. Martin's Press
ISBN 13 : 1429971606
Total Pages : 356 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (299 download)

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Book Synopsis To the Nines by : Janet Evanovich

Download or read book To the Nines written by Janet Evanovich and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2008-05-14 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times Bestselling Author A Stephanie Plum Novel Janet Evanovich's novels are the hottest bestsellers in America! # 1 New York Times # 1 Wall Street Journal #1 Los Angeles Times #1 Entertainment Weekly #1 Publishers Weekly Stephanie Plum's got rent to pay, people shooting at her, and psychos wanting her dead every day of the week (much to the dismay of her mother, her family, the men in her life, the guy who slices meat at the deli . . . oh, the list goes on). An ordinary person would cave under the pressure. But hey, she's from Jersey. Stephanie Plum may not be the best bounty hunter in beautiful downtown Trenton, but she's pretty darn good at turning bad situations her way . . . and she always gets her man. In To the Nines, her cousin Vinnie (who's also her boss) has posted bail on Samuel Singh, an illegal immigrant. When the elusive Mr. Singh goes missing, Stephanie is on the case. But what she uncovers is far more sinister than anyone imagines and leads to a group of killers who give new meaning to the word hunter. In a race against time that takes her from the Jersey Turnpike to the Vegas Strip, Stephanie Plum is on the chase of her life. The unforgettable characters, nonstop action, high-stakes suspense, and sheer entertainment of To the Nines define Janet Evanovich as unique among today's writers.

Joan Rivers Confidential

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Author :
Publisher : Abrams
ISBN 13 : 1683351320
Total Pages : 342 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (833 download)

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Book Synopsis Joan Rivers Confidential by : Melissa Rivers

Download or read book Joan Rivers Confidential written by Melissa Rivers and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2017-10-24 with total page 342 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “A gorgeous scrapbook of the late icon’s life—featuring clippings, letters, and dozens of finely honed quips from her famous-joke files.” —Vanity Fair Joan Rivers is an enduring icon of the twentieth century, and her wildly popular humor has appealed to generations of fans. With a career that began in the late 1950s, Joan kept mementos over the course of her entire working life, and Joan Rivers Confidential is a compilation of never-before-seen personal archives. Assembled by her daughter Melissa with Scott Currie, the book contains scripts and monologues, letters from famous friends, exchanges with fans, rare photographs, as well as classic and never-before-heard jokes—many simply scribbled on everything from hotel stationery to airplane boarding passes. Touching on subjects from her 50 years in show business (The Tonight Show, Las Vegas, Elizabeth Taylor, Heidi Abromowitz, the red carpet, and Fashion Police), this is a revelatory and humor-filled insider look at the popular, multitalented comedian. “It’s easy to forget, in this era of Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman, how revolutionary it was for a meticulously coiffed, nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn—born in 1933!—to get up onstage and crack jokes about hookers, the Holocaust, and her vagina. What fun it is to be reminded.” —W Magazine “From joke cards and contracts to personal letters from pals like Nancy Reagan and Prince Charles, Rivers’ mountain of memorabilia was mostly sealed and largely unseen—until now.” —Women’s Wear Daily “For fans, this is a gold mine. For others who are simply curious about this unstoppable force, it’s a fun, loving tribute.” —Southern Jewish Life

Tits, Boobies and Loons: And Other Birds Named by People Who Clearly Hate Birds

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Author :
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0008501351
Total Pages : 114 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (85 download)

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Book Synopsis Tits, Boobies and Loons: And Other Birds Named by People Who Clearly Hate Birds by : Stu Royall

Download or read book Tits, Boobies and Loons: And Other Birds Named by People Who Clearly Hate Birds written by Stu Royall and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2022-02-17 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the monotonous lark to the rough-faced shag, these poor birds have us all asking: ARE ORNITHOLOGISTS OK?

Boob

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780986662508
Total Pages : 712 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (625 download)

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Book Synopsis Boob by : Dave Carnie

Download or read book Boob written by Dave Carnie and published by . This book was released on 2010-09 with total page 712 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: