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Joe Vampire
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Download or read book Joe Vampire written by Steven Luna and published by . This book was released on 2015-10-21 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hey, folks. I'm Joe, and I'm a vampire - not by choice, mind you, but by accident...a fate-twisting, fang-creating, blood lust-inducing misunderstanding. It started with a group date, a case of mistaken identity and far too many sake bombers, and ended with a ridiculous set of circumstances that I just can't seem to wrap my head around. Maybe you can tell: I'm not real happy about it. But I'm certainly not going to let it get in the way of my life.So I've thrown my ranting into a blog. I'm hanging out my dirty laundry in an effort to explain the real deal about being a card-carrying member of the Undead Elite. Maybe it will help others understand the truth about vampires. Maybe it will help me come to terms with it, too. Believe me, it's not all satin capes and naked ladies...none of it is, actually. One naked lady would be nice. Instead, it's just one nasty little surprise after another. The truth bears exposing, and I'm pulling back the curtain on all of it. If I can figure out how to keep it from mowing me over in the process, then that's groovy, too. And that thing about vampires sparkling in the sun? That is a bunch of bull.
Download or read book Vampire Joe written by Jimmie Christo and published by . This book was released on 2019-06-07 with total page 433 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you even know what a pain in the neck being a vampire is!? All Joe ever wanted was to shoot up some smack, listen to some Nick Cave, and be left the hell alone. One little bite ruined his plans. Minding his own business, looking to score, Joe inadvertently receives the gift of eternal unlife. Now he has to deal with his dealer, his girlfriend, groupies, the Mafia, the police, his Christian minister, his vamp daddy and an unquenchable thirst for human blood. How the hell does life get harder AFTER you die!?
Download or read book Already Dead written by Charlie Huston and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Those stories you hear? The ones about things that only come out at night? Things that feed on blood, feed on us? Got news for you: they’re true. Only it’s not like the movies or old man Stoker’s storybook. It’s worse. Especially if you happen to be one of them. Just ask Joe Pitt. There’s a shambler on the loose. Some fool who got himself infected with a flesh-eating bacteria is lurching around, trying to munch on folks’ brains. Joe hates shamblers, but he’s still the one who has to deal with them. That’s just the kind of life he has. Except afterlife might be better word. From the Battery to the Bronx, and from river to river, Manhattan is crawling with Vampyres. Joe is one of them, and he’s not happy about it. Yeah, he gets to be stronger and faster than you, and he’s tough as nails and hard to kill. But spending his nights trying to score a pint of blood to feed the Vyrus that’s eating at him isn’t his idea of a good time. And Joe doesn’t make it any easier on himself. Going his own way, refusing to ally with the Clans that run the undead underside of Manhattan–it ain’t easy. It’s worse once he gets mixed up with the Coalition–the city’s most powerful Clan–and finds himself searching for a poor little rich girl who’s gone missing in Alphabet City. Now the Coalition and the girl’s high-society parents are breathing down his neck, anarchist Vampyres are pushing him around, and a crazy Vampyre cult is stalking him. No time to complain, though. Got to find that girl and kill that shambler before the whip comes down . . . and before the sun comes up.
Download or read book Joe Vampire written by Steven Luna and published by . This book was released on 2015-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Joe Vampire (Joe Vampire Series) by : Steven Luna
Download or read book Joe Vampire (Joe Vampire Series) written by Steven Luna and published by . This book was released on 2014-05-14 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hey, folks. I'm Joe, and I'm a vampire - not by choice, mind you, but by accident...a fate-twisting, fang-creating, blood lust-inducing misunderstanding. It started with a group date, a case of mistaken identity and far too many sake bombers, and ended with a ridiculous set of circumstances that I just can't seem to wrap my head around. Maybe you can tell: I'm not real happy about it. But I'm certainly not going to let it get in the way of my life. So I've thrown my ranting into a blog. I'm hanging out my dirty laundry in an effort to explain the real deal about being a card-carrying member of the Undead Elite. Maybe it will help others understand the truth about vampires. Maybe it will help me come to terms with it, too. Believe me, it's not all satin capes and naked ladies...none of it is, actually. One naked lady would be nice. Instead, it's just one nasty little surprise after another. The truth bears exposing, and I'm pulling back the curtain on all of it. If I can figure out how to keep it from mowing me over in the process, then that's groovy, too. And that thing about vampires sparkling in the sun? That is a bunch of bull.
Download or read book Vampires Today written by Joseph Laycock and published by Praeger. This book was released on 2009-05-14 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book explores the modern world of vampirism. Based on interviews, it looks at the many expressions of vampirism, from lifestyle vampires, who adopt the culture and admire the gothic image, to 'real' vampires who believe they are a separate race and need to consume blood and psychic energy in order to survive.
Book Synopsis Empire of the Vampire by : Jay Kristoff
Download or read book Empire of the Vampire written by Jay Kristoff and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2021-09-14 with total page 794 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES, USA TODAY, AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER From New York Times bestselling author Jay Kristoff comes Empire of the Vampire, the first illustrated volume of an astonishing new dark fantasy saga. From holy cup comes holy light; The faithful hand sets world aright. And in the Seven Martyrs’ sight, Mere man shall end this endless night. It has been twenty-seven long years since the last sunrise. For nearly three decades, vampires have waged war against humanity; building their eternal empire even as they tear down our own. Now, only a few tiny sparks of light endure in a sea of darkness. Gabriel de León is a silversaint: a member of a holy brotherhood dedicated to defending realm and church from the creatures of the night. But even the Silver Order could not stem the tide once daylight failed us, and now, only Gabriel remains. Imprisoned by the very monsters he vowed to destroy, the last silversaint is forced to tell his story. A story of legendary battles and forbidden love, of faith lost and friendships won, of the Wars of the Blood and the Forever King and the quest for humanity’s last remaining hope: The Holy Grail.
Book Synopsis Buffy the Last Vampire Slayer (2023) #1 by : Casey Gilly
Download or read book Buffy the Last Vampire Slayer (2023) #1 written by Casey Gilly and published by Boom! Studios. This book was released on 2023-08-02 with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thess is all grown up, having taken up the mantle as the new Slayer! But with new responsibilities comes new enemies, and a mysterious clan will do anything to get to her, even if it means using her friends as bait. Fans won’t want to miss this brand new mini series from veteran Buffy scribe Casey Gilly, set after the events of Buffy The Last Vampire Slayer Special #1!
Download or read book Joe Vampire written by Steven Luna and published by Booktrope Editions. This book was released on 2013 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: So...yeah. It's me again. America's most sarcastic vampire. I'm back on the blog. It's been a while - about a year, if we need to get into specifics. Which I usually do. It's just a thing with me. A lot has happened since we last chatted - some good, some bad. All worthwhile, in the grand scheme. I've dealt with the whole Living Dead thing long enough now to know how to keep it from taking over my life. What I'm still figuring out is how to keep it from wreaking havoc on everyone else's lives. It's a roller coaster, for sure, but I'm convinced that waiting for me somewhere on the other side of the Other Side is a real-life life, not just some artificially-sweetened half-life substitute. I want a family. I want my music. I want the dream come true, not the dream fell through. And I'm determined to have it, regardless of how eternal this afterlife thing might be. But it's a hell of a lot to keep track of. Barring any unforeseen developments that might undo all my vampirosity, I may have to grow up a little in order to get it all to work out. I'm ready for that, though. As fun as it might seem to hang with the Lost Boys, I can't be Peter Pan-pire forever.
Download or read book Joe Vampire written by Steven Luna and published by . This book was released on 2014-05-14 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: So...yeah. It's me again. America's most sarcastic vampire. I'm back on the blog. It's been a while - about a year, if we need to get into specifics. Which I usually do. It's just a thing with me. A lot has happened since we last chatted - some good, some bad. All worthwhile, in the grand scheme. I've dealt with the whole Living Dead thing long enough now to know how to keep it from taking over my life. What I'm still figuring out is how to keep it from wreaking havoc on everyone else's lives. It's a roller coaster, for sure, but I'm convinced that waiting for me somewhere on the other side of the Other Side is a real-life life, not just some artificially-sweetened half-life substitute. I want a family. I want my music. I want the dream come true, not the dream fell through. And I'm determined to have it, regardless of how eternal this afterlife thing might be. But it's a hell of a lot to keep track of. Barring any unforeseen developments that might undo all my vampirosity, I may have to grow up a little in order to get it all to work out. I'm ready for that, though. As fun as it might seem to hang with the Lost Boys, I can't be Peter Pan-pire forever.
Download or read book Psychic Vampires written by Joe H. Slate and published by Llewellyn Worldwide. This book was released on 2002 with total page 268 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Consuming energy instead of blood, psychic vampires come in a variety of unsuspecting guises. This unique approach to the subject will introduce you to a trio of new thieves: group vampires, parasitic vampires, and global vampirism. Exploring environmental, developmental, and past-life factors, Psychic Vampires presents effective step-by-step empowerment procedures you can use to protect yourself and replenish your energy reserves. This practical guide offers: An exploration of previously unknown forms of psychic vampirism Methods to identify and counteract the effects of psychic attacks Thirteen photos illustrating the "Vampire Shadow Phenomenon," the "Halo Effect," and more A Seven-Day Psychic Protection Plan
Download or read book Reading the Vampire written by Ken Gelder and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2002-08-27 with total page 174 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Insatiable bloodlust, dangerous sexualities, the horror of the undead, uncharted Trannsylvanian wildernesses, and a morbid fascination with the `other': the legend of the vampire continues to haunt popular imagination. Reading the Vampire examines the vampire in all its various manifestations and cultural meanings. Ken Gelder investigates vampire narratives in literature and in film, from early vampire stories like Sheridan Le Fanu's `lesbian vampire' tale Carmilla and Bram Stoker's Dracula, the most famous vampire narrative of all, to contemporary American vampire blockbusters by Stephen King and others, the vampire chronicles of Anne Rice, `post-Ceausescu' vampire narratives, and films such as FW Murnau's Nosferatu and Bram Stoker's Dracula. Reading the Vampire embeds vampires in their cultural contexts, showing vampire narratives feeding off the anxieties and fascinations of their times: from the nineteenth century perils of tourism, issues of colonialism and national identity, and obsessions with sex and death, to the `queer' identity of the vampire or current vampiric metaphors for dangerous exchanges of bodily fluids and AIDS.
Book Synopsis The Vampire Archives by : Otto Penzler
Download or read book The Vampire Archives written by Otto Penzler and published by Vintage Crime/Black Lizard. This book was released on 2009-09-29 with total page 1058 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Vampire Archives is the biggest, hungriest, undeadliest collection of vampire stories, as well as the most comprehensive bibliography of vampire fiction ever assembled. Dark, stormy, and delicious, once it sinks its teeth into you there’s no escape. Vampires! Whether imagined by Bram Stoker or Anne Rice, they are part of the human lexicon and as old as blood itself. They are your neighbors, your friends, and they are always lurking. Now Otto Penzler—editor of the bestselling Black Lizard Big Book of Pulps—has compiled the darkest, the scariest, and by far the most evil collection of vampire stories ever. With over eighty stories, including the works of Stephen King and D. H. Lawrence, alongside Lord Byron and Tanith Lee, not to mention Edgar Allan Poe and Harlan Ellison, The Vampire Archives will drive a stake through the heart of any other collection out there. Other contributors include: Arthur Conan Doyle • Ray Bradbury • Ambrose Bierce • H. P. Lovecraft • Harlan Ellison • Roger Zelazny • Robert Bloch • Clive Barker
Book Synopsis The New Vampire's Handbook by : Joe Garden
Download or read book The New Vampire's Handbook written by Joe Garden and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-09-08 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being turned into a vampire is the easy part. Actually becoming a vampire is far more difficult. In today’s world of vampire-obsessed pop culture, misinformation abounds. A newly turned vampire who looks to movies and novels for answers to everlasting life’s questions will inevitably be reduced to a smoldering pile of dust. So whom can you, a neophyte immortal, trust to provide reliable information and proven strategies for leading your best and bloodiest existence? The Vampire Miles Proctor, editor of The New Vampire’s Handbook. In this definitive guide, the newly turned will find • a head-to-toe look at your vampiric body: how to harness your new powers to dispatch mortal enemies, maintain your fangs, and embrace your vampirosexuality • methods for luring prey, faking your way through meals, approaching other vampires, and creating a four-hundred-year financial plan • tips on acting your “age,” behaving appropriately if you see a human you knew decades ago, and dealing with epic vampire feuds • essential advice for blending in with the masses, from finding a coven to avoiding the media (and mirrors) to staying on top of the latest fashion trends • the joy of scrapbooking Plus helpful online resources, a glyph guide, renovation instructions for emergency lairs, a Ruling Families directory, nightly mantras, and personal anecdotes from The Vampire Miles Proctor’s nearly five hundred years of experience. Welcome to the night.
Book Synopsis Tracking the Man-beasts by : Joe Nickell
Download or read book Tracking the Man-beasts written by Joe Nickell and published by . This book was released on 2011 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Join veteran paranormal investigator Joe Nickell on an investigative expedition of the historical, geographical, and cultural reaches of various 'manimals' and other humanoid entities ..."--Page 4 of cover.
Book Synopsis Morbius: the Living Vampire by : Joe Keatinge
Download or read book Morbius: the Living Vampire written by Joe Keatinge and published by Marvel Entertainment. This book was released on 2014 with total page 235 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Collects Amazing Spider-Man #699.1 Morbius: The Living Vampire #1-9. Somewhere inside Doctor Michael Morbius is a good man who just needs a second chance. NO W!, after escaping from the Raft, Morbius the Living Vampire is scraping desperately through each day, on the run and desperate to quell his vampiric tendencies. Will he be able to resist the siren song of blissful bloodsucking, or will Spider-Man sling him straight back into the slammer? And will his redemption turn out to be worse than his sin? As Morbius tries to stay under the radar, a new threat arises, and they want Morbius dead. But after inciting a gang war, will Morbius be able to protect the new friends?
Download or read book My Dead Body written by Charlie Huston and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nobody lives forever. Not even a Vampyre. Just ask Joe Pitt. After exposing the secret source of blood for half of Manhattan’s Vampyres, he’s definitely a dead man walking. He’s been a punching bag and a bullet magnet for every Vampyre Clan in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and the Bronx, not to mention a private eye, an enforcer, an exile, and a vigilante, but now he’s just a target with legs. For a year he’s sloshed around the subway tunnels and sewers, tapping the veins of the lost, while above ground a Vampyre civil war threatens to drag the Clans into the sunlight once and for all. What’s it gonna take to dig him up? Just the search for a missing girl who’s carrying a baby that just might be the destiny of Vampyre-kind. Not that Joe cares all that much about destiny and such. What he cares about is that his ex-girl Evie wants him to take the gig. What’s the risk? Another turn playing pigeon in a shooting gallery. What’s the reward? Maybe one shot of his own. What’s he aiming for? Nothing much. Just all the evil at the heart of his world.
