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Funniest Thing You Never
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Book Synopsis The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 by :
Download or read book The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 written by and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "From Samuel Johnson's 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American', to Richard Nixon's classic, 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people', the 6000 hilarious quotations in this title are certain to have anyone with a sense of humour rolling on the floor. Spanning every topic, from religion and celebrities to politics and love, this gem of a book includes classic wise-cracks (and not-so-wise-words) from the likes of Oscar Wilde, Steve Martin, Homer Simpson and Karl Marx, as well as hundreds of fresh funnies!"--Publisher's description.
Book Synopsis Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 by : Rosemarie Jarski
Download or read book Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 written by Rosemarie Jarski and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-09-02 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour. 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson 'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon 'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin 'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson 'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx 'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueen
Book Synopsis Funniest Things Ever Said New by : Steven Price
Download or read book Funniest Things Ever Said New written by Steven Price and published by 1001. This book was released on 2019 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of the greatest witticisms from the world of politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can get a good laugh Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,001 funniest things ever said: "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"--Christina Aguilera "Fame means when your computer modem is broken, the repair guy comes out to your house a little faster." --Sandra Bullock "Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his." --Ronald Reagan
Book Synopsis A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again by : David Foster Wallace
Download or read book A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again written by David Foster Wallace and published by Back Bay Books. This book was released on 2009-11-23 with total page 546 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: These widely acclaimed essays from the author of Infinite Jest -- on television, tennis, cruise ships, and more -- established David Foster Wallace as one of the preeminent essayists of his generation. In this exuberantly praised book -- a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner -- David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest.
Book Synopsis A Confederacy of Dunces by : John Kennedy Toole
Download or read book A Confederacy of Dunces written by John Kennedy Toole and published by Grove/Atlantic, Inc.. This book was released on 2007-12-01 with total page 414 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the Pulitzer Prize “A masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.”—The New York Times Book Review A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).
Book Synopsis The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World by : Joey Acker
Download or read book The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World written by Joey Acker and published by . This book was released on 2019-03-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: OH NO!!! You found The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World! Well, since you're already here I may as well tell you about it... Poor Nameless tries to explain to the reader why this book is simply the WORST book in the whole entire world. Will he succeed in his noble quest? Is he the reason this book is the worst?? Will it have a happy ending or the worst ending ever??? The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World is a humorous and witty tale for young and seasoned readers. Whatever you do though, don't read it out loud! You may catch wind of these words: toot, stinky, booger, and booty. You've been warned, but you'll still want to see what happens next!
Book Synopsis It's Kind of a Funny Story by : Ned Vizzini
Download or read book It's Kind of a Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2010-09-25 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
Download or read book Funny: The Book written by David Misch and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2012-04-01 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: FUNNY: THE BOOK - EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT COMEDY
Book Synopsis Everything Sad Is Untrue by : Daniel Nayeri
Download or read book Everything Sad Is Untrue written by Daniel Nayeri and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2020-08-25 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A National Indie Bestseller An NPR Best Book of the Year A New York Times Best Book of the Year An Amazon Best Book of the Year A Booklist Editors' Choice A BookPage Best Book of the Year A NECBA Windows & Mirrors Selection A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year A Wall Street Journal Best Book of the Year A Today.com Best of the Year PRAISE "A modern masterpiece." —The New York Times Book Review "Supple, sparkling and original." —The Wall Street Journal "Mesmerizing." —TODAY.com "This book could change the world." —BookPage "Like nothing else you've read or ever will read." —Linda Sue Park "It hooks you right from the opening line." —NPR SEVEN STARRED REVIEWS ★ "A modern epic." —Kirkus Reviews, starred review ★ "A rare treasure of a book." —Publishers Weekly, starred review ★ "A story that soars." —The Bulletin, starred review ★ "At once beautiful and painful." —School Library Journal, starred review ★ "Raises the literary bar in children's lit." —Booklist, starred review ★ "Poignant and powerful." —Foreword Reviews, starred review ★ "One of the most extraordinary books of the year." —BookPage, starred review A sprawling, evocative, and groundbreaking autobiographical novel told in the unforgettable and hilarious voice of a young Iranian refugee. It is a powerfully layered novel that poses the questions: Who owns the truth? Who speaks it? Who believes it? "A patchwork story is the shame of the refugee," Nayeri writes early in the novel. In an Oklahoman middle school, Khosrou (whom everyone calls Daniel) stands in front of a skeptical audience of classmates, telling the tales of his family's history, stretching back years, decades, and centuries. At the core is Daniel's story of how they became refugees—starting with his mother's vocal embrace of Christianity in a country that made such a thing a capital offense, and continuing through their midnight flight from the secret police, bribing their way onto a plane-to-anywhere. Anywhere becomes the sad, cement refugee camps of Italy, and then finally asylum in the U.S. Implementing a distinct literary style and challenging western narrative structures, Nayeri deftly weaves through stories of the long and beautiful history of his family in Iran, adding a richness of ancient tales and Persian folklore. Like Scheherazade of One Thousand and One Nights in a hostile classroom, Daniel spins a tale to save his own life: to stake his claim to the truth. EVERYTHING SAD IS UNTRUE (a true story) is a tale of heartbreak and resilience and urges readers to speak their truth and be heard.
Download or read book I Never Meant to Be Funny written by and published by iUniverse. This book was released on with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Furiously Happy written by Jenny Lawson and published by Flatiron Books. This book was released on 2015-09-22 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Furiously Happy, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best. As Jenny says: "Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos. "Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'" Furiously Happy is about "taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they're the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It's the difference between "surviving life" and "living life". It's the difference between "taking a shower" and "teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair." It's the difference between being "sane" and being "furiously happy." Lawson is beloved around the world for her inimitable humor and honesty, and in Furiously Happy, she is at her snort-inducing funniest. This is a book about embracing everything that makes us who we are - the beautiful and the flawed - and then using it to find joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. Because as Jenny's mom says, "Maybe 'crazy' isn't so bad after all." Sometimes crazy is just right.
Download or read book Dim Wit written by Rosemarie Jarski and published by Random House. This book was released on 2008 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: -"Tom [Cruise] has--we all have--the right to practice how we feel...don't judge someone until they have tossed your salad." --John Travolta -"I love Africa in general--South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries." --Paris Hilton -"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." --George W. Bush -"My game is like the Pythagorean theorem: No one has an answer." --Shaquille O'Neal -"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." --Axl Rose From Muhammad Ali to Frank Zappa, everyone has said something idiotic at some point. Dim Wit presents the most hilarious verbal mishaps ever uttered by famous figures. Perfect for e-mailing to friends and family or giving yourself a laugh before bed, these adventures in Blunderland define "jaw-droppingly stupid."
Book Synopsis A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to School... by : Davide Cali
Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to School... written by Davide Cali and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2015-03-03 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: First, some giant ants steal breakfast. Then there are the evil ninjas, massive ape, mysterious mole people, giant blob, and countless other daunting (and astonishing) detours along the way to school. Are these excuses really why this student is late? Or is there another explanation that is even more outrageous than the rest? From Davide Cali and Benjamin Chaud, the critically acclaimed author/illustrator team behind I Didn't Do My Homework Because . . . comes a fast-paced, actionpacked, laugh-out-loud story about finding the way to school despite the odds—and the unbelievable oddness! Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.
Book Synopsis Judgments in Vacation by : Sir Edward Abbott Parry
Download or read book Judgments in Vacation written by Sir Edward Abbott Parry and published by . This book was released on 1911 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book One More Thing written by B. J. Novak and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2014-02-04 with total page 251 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times Bestseller A startlingly original debut from the actor, writer, director, and executive producer hailed as “a gifted observer of the human condition and a very funny writer capable of winning that rare thing: unselfconscious, insuppressible laughter” (The Washington Post). A boy wins a $100,000 prize in a box of Frosted Flakes—only to discover that claiming the winnings might unravel his family. A woman sets out to seduce motivational speaker Tony Robbins—turning for help to the famed motivator himself. A new arrival in Heaven, overwhelmed with options, procrastinates over a long-ago promise to visit his grandmother. We meet Sophia, the first artificially intelligent being capable of love, who falls for a man who might not be ready for it himself; a vengeance-minded hare, obsessed with scoring a rematch against the tortoise who ruined his life; and post-college friends who try to figure out how to host an intervention in the era of Facebook. Along the way, we learn why wearing a red T-shirt every day is the key to finding love, how February got its name, and why the stock market is sometimes just . . . down. Finding inspiration in questions from the nature of perfection to the icing on carrot cake, One More Thing has at its heart the most human of phenomena: love, fear, hope, ambition, and the inner stirring for the one elusive element just that might make a person complete. Across a dazzling range of subjects, themes, tones, and narrative voices, the many pieces in this collection are like nothing else, but they have one thing in common: they share the playful humor, deep heart, sharp eye, inquisitive mind, and altogether electrifying spirit of a writer with a fierce devotion to the entertainment of the reader.
Book Synopsis A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cooperstown by : Mickey McDermott
Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cooperstown written by Mickey McDermott and published by Triumph Books. This book was released on 2003-04 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A memoir by the 1940s pitching sensation looks back at a career playing for thirteen teams in four countries from the 1940s to the 1960s.
Book Synopsis The Funniest Quotations to Brighten Every Day by : Bruce Miller
Download or read book The Funniest Quotations to Brighten Every Day written by Bruce Miller and published by . This book was released on 2022-07-02 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
