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Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks Is A Bad Idea
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Book Synopsis Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks Is A Bad Idea by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks Is A Bad Idea written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2014-08-25 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You found her! The hottest chick you've ever laid eyes on wants you and only you. But aren't you forgetting something? You're broke, and this chick is way out of your league. She's scorching hot and you're…well…lucky to have her. Or so you think… This short volume will help demystify the impact of a high maintenance hottie and encourage you to resist the urge to go into debt just to appease her. Approximately 7,000 words.
Download or read book Captive Audience written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-12-19 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three men, one blonde secretary, a jammed up elevator, and a series of ghastly, deadly farts. What could possibly go wrong? Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,600 words.
Book Synopsis Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Four Stinky Stories Vol. 2 written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-03-17 with total page 86 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrating the best of fart fiction, Donald Rump weaves together four new flatulent tales of love, betrayal, flesh-eating cannibals and everyone's favorite green gas in one dastardly volume. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 14,000 words in all. THE $500 QUESTION Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. Hay caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas really going to stink? FINDING FLOOFY When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it's the last thing I do!" TILL DEATH DO US FART Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. WEEKEND GETAWAY When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they're in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they've reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won't do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads, and offers each a shot of poison to end their suffering. Will the two lovebirds cash in on their free weekend getaway and make things right between them? Or will the doomed couple kill each other in the process?
Download or read book Weekend Getaway written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-01-06 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they're in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they've reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won't do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads, and offers each a shot of poison to end their suffering. Will the two lovebirds cash in on their free weekend getaway and make things right between them? Or will the doomed couple kill each other in the process? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 5,200 words.
Download or read book Finding Floofy written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-07-05 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you my darling Floofy, even if it's the last thing I do!" For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 4,400 words in all.
Book Synopsis The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB) by : Donald Rump
Download or read book The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.
Book Synopsis Diez Cuentos Apestosos: Volumen 1 by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Diez Cuentos Apestosos: Volumen 1 written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-01-07 with total page 155 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Diez historias de amor, traición y ese gas verde favorito de todos en un inolvidable volumen. Para lectores adultos (maduros o no). Aproximadamente 30.000 palabras. EMBOTELLANDO PEDOS ¿Podría el poder más grande... El camino a la riqueza, más allá de nuestra imaginación más salvaje... La clave para alcanzar el más alto nivel de conciencia espiritual y la felicidad... ... Ser obtenido por pedos embotellado??? --Es nuestro secreto... --Vlad le dijo al niño pequeño. --Usa el poder con cuidado... EL CRITICO ENCULADO El culo de Zack Pimpton nunca ha estado peor, y el hecho de que el médico sea un comediante a tiempo parcial no ayuda. Por desgracia, Zack es bastante cabrón y dice lo que no debe, haciendo que el buen doctor se ponga furioso. A PUNTO DE REVENTAR Barnabus Prim ha llegado al final del camino. Ahogado en deudas y casado con una mujer odiosa que no puede ni verlo, decide hacer lo impensable. Pero encontrar el camino al más allá resulta mucho más difícil de lo que él había imaginado. EL MATRIMONIO APESTA Mackelroy Puggsley creía haberlo oído todo, hasta que un extraño hombre llamado Bilby Bloob se aparece en su vestíbulo una mañana. Cuando Bilby le pide un permiso de matrimonio para su gaseosa esposa, el viejo pone el freno. Sí, una cosa es casarte con tu novia de la secundaria, pero ¿con un pedo? ¿A quién se le puede ocurrir casarse con un pedo? --No me iré a ningún lado hasta que nos dé un permiso de matrimonio --insisitó Bilby. --¿Ah, sí? --Mackelroy se hizo sonar los nudillos. HASTA QUE EL GRAN PEDO NOS SEPARE Los temores de Helen Hubbard finalmente se han confirmado. Una mañana, durante el almuerzo en su restaurante favorito, su esposo Gary le confiesa que la ha estado engañando, y está listo para abandonarla en un instante. Cuando ella hurga en el asunto, descubre más de lo que quería saber sobre Muffy, la misteriosa amante de él. "¿¿¿Entonces me estás dejando por un pedo???", exclamó Helen. LA PREGUNTA DE 500 DÓLARES Perkins Deadwood no puede dar crédito a sus oídos. Su hijo de doce años acaba de pedirle para Navidad un pedo mascota. Y no cualquier pedo: un pedo español. ¡Ay, caramba! ¿Podrá disuadir a su hijo el vendedor de autos usados? ¿O será esta Navidad realmente apestosa? ESCAPADA DE FIN DE SEMANA Cuando Martin Dollop y Arthur Bodine parten para unas vacaciones románticas en las islas, no tienen idea de lo que les espera. Ahora se pudren en una celda de una cárcel mexicana y parece que han llegado al final del camino. Hasta el pinche guardia no les hará el honor de meterles una bala en la cabeza y les ofrece un poco de veneno para acabar con su sufrimiento. ¿Podrán los tórtolos concretar su escapada gratis de fin de semana y hacer las paces? ¿O acabarán los condenados matándose entre sí en el proceso? BUSCANDO A FLOOFY Cuando un hombre se enamora perdidamente de un pedo asesino, le resulta difícil aceptar su misteriosa partida. ¿Fue algo que dijo? ¿Algo que hizo? ¿Era su pene demasiado pequeño? Nada tiene sentido. "Te encontraré, mi querida Floofy. ¡Aunque sea lo último que haga!" EL ASPIRANTE A PEDONAUTA Hank Larmspitz tiene un plan. Bueno, más o menos. Va a ser el primer hombre en la luna, maldita sea, y va a hacerlo sin la ayuda de un traje espacial o incluso de una nave espacial. ¿Qué tiene en mente exactamente? Dan Dinkerleaf, un reportero local de KAAS-LD en Eureeka, quiere averiguarlo. Y cuando descubre las verdaderas intenciones de Hank, eso pone a prueba su paciencia. "¿En serio?", espeta. "¿No le parece que su teoría es... oh, no sé... implausible?" "Preste atención y tal vez aprenda algo." Hank hace sonar los nudillos y saca una ración de su marca favorita. PÚBLICO CAUTIVO Tres hombres, una secretaria rubia, un ascensor atascado y una serie de pedos horribles y letales. ¿Qué podría salir mal?
Book Synopsis Ten Stinky Stories Vol. 1 by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Ten Stinky Stories Vol. 1 written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-12-05 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrating the best of fart fiction, Donald Rump weaves together ten flatulent tales of love, betrayal, flesh-eating cannibals, and everyone's favorite green gas, that are sure to blow you away. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Over 100 pages (approximately 32,000 words). BOTTLING FARTS Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the mild-mannered doctor to snap. GOING DUTCH Barnabus Prim has reached the end of his rope. Drowning in debt and married to an obnoxious wife who can't stand the sight of him, he decides to do the unthinkable. But finding a way to the afterlife proves more difficult than he imagined. MARRIAGE STINKS Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd heard everything until an odd man named Bilby Bloob shows up in the DMV lobby one morning. When Bilby demands a marriage license for his gassy wife, the old man puts his foot down. Sure, it's one thing to marry your high school sweetheart, but a fart? Who in the world marries farts? GASTROINTESTINAL BLUES Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? THE WOULD BE ASTRONAUT Hank Larmspitz has a plan. Well, sort of. He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship. THE $500 QUESTION Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. Hay caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas really going to stink? FINDING FLOOFY When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it's the last thing I do!" TILL DEATH DO US FART Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. WEEKEND GETAWAY When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they're in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they've reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won't do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads, and offers each a shot of poison to end their suffering. Will the two lovebirds cash in on their free weekend getaway and make things right between them? Or will the doomed couple kill each other in the process? BONUS! Also includes the bonus story I Am Fart.
Book Synopsis Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-08-16 with total page 49 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I’ve no idea what’s going in that pea-brained mind of yours. Perhaps it’s all that crack you’ve been smoking. Who knows? And who cares? You are a scoundrel after all, so it isn’t hard to see your angle. Now you’ve set your sites on the ugliest girl in the room, if not on earth. Even though you’ve set the bar low—way low—you’re not sure how to proceed. Perhaps you could use some advice before pissing your precious time and money away? Good, for I have just the thing for you. From one scoundrel to another… Approximately 11,000 words.
Book Synopsis Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by : John T. Molloy
Download or read book Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others written by John T. Molloy and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2008-12-14 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A groundbreaking book--based on years of the same thorough research that made the "Dress For Success" books national bestsellers--about how women can statistically improve their chances of getting married.
Book Synopsis Boys Love Manga and Beyond by : Mark McLelland
Download or read book Boys Love Manga and Beyond written by Mark McLelland and published by Univ. Press of Mississippi. This book was released on 2015-01-28 with total page 463 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Boys Love Manga and Beyond looks at a range of literary, artistic and other cultural products that celebrate the beauty of adolescent boys and young men. In Japan, depiction of the “beautiful boy” has long been a romantic and sexualized trope for both sexes and commands a high degree of cultural visibility today across a range of genres from pop music to animation. In recent decades, “Boys Love” (or simply BL) has emerged as a mainstream genre in manga, anime, and games for girls and young women. This genre was first developed in Japan in the early 1970s by a group of female artists who went on to establish themselves as major figures in Japan's manga industry. By the late 1970s many amateur women fans were getting involved in the BL phenomenon by creating and self-publishing homoerotic parodies of established male manga characters and popular media figures. The popularity of these fan-made products, sold and circulated at huge conventions, has led to an increase in the number of commercial titles available. Today, a wide range of products produced both by professionals and amateurs are brought together under the general rubric of “boys love,” and are rapidly gaining an audience throughout Asia and globally. This collection provides the first comprehensive overview in English of the BL phenomenon in Japan, its history and various subgenres and introduces translations of some key Japanese scholarship not otherwise available. Some chapters detail the historical and cultural contexts that helped BL emerge as a significant part of girls' culture in Japan. Others offer important case studies of BL production, consumption, and circulation and explain why BL has become a controversial topic in contemporary Japan.
Book Synopsis How to Attract Women If You're Not That Attractive by : Enrique Voltaire
Download or read book How to Attract Women If You're Not That Attractive written by Enrique Voltaire and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-04-13 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What is the Best Way to Approach an Attractive Lady? How do you get her attention? What should you say? How do you ask for her phone number? Some guys are so good-looking that girls naturally flock to them. Other guys, who are not as genetically blessed, have to use courage, humor, intelligence, psychology, and resiliency to attract beautiful women. How to Attract Women if You're Not That Attractive answers everything you need to know about attracting women if you do not look like Prince Charming.
Book Synopsis True Love Dates by : Debra K. Fileta
Download or read book True Love Dates written by Debra K. Fileta and published by Zondervan. This book was released on 2013-10-08 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating.
Download or read book Models written by Mark Manson and published by Pan Australia. This book was released on 2017-09-11 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "You can become irresistibly attractive to women without changing who you are." So says Mark Manson, superstar blogger and author of the international bestseller, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, a self help book that packs a punch. Mark brings the same approach to teaching men what they need to know about attracting women. In Models he shows us how much it sucks trying to attract women using the tricks and tactics recommended by other books. Instead, he says, men need to focus on seduction as an emotional process not a physical or social one. What matters is the intention, the motivation, the authenticity. To improve your dating life you must improve your emotional life - how you feel about yourself and how you express yourself to others. Funny, irreverent and confronting, Models is a mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women by giving up the bullsh*t and becoming an honest broker. "A detailed guide to modern sexual ethics" Sydney Morning Herald "There's nothing subtle about Mark Manson. He's crude and vulgar and doesn't give a f*ck . . . He's as painfully honest as he is outrageously funny" Huffington Post
Download or read book The $500 Question written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2014-01-06 with total page 31 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. ¡Ay, caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas going to really stink? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.
Book Synopsis Mean Girls at Work: How to Stay Professional When Things Get Personal by : Katherine Crowley
Download or read book Mean Girls at Work: How to Stay Professional When Things Get Personal written by Katherine Crowley and published by McGraw Hill Professional. This book was released on 2012-11-02 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of the New York Post's Top 10 Career Books of 2012 and a Booklist Top 10 Business Book DO YOU WORK WITH A MEAN GIRL? A woman’s field guide to the new frontier of professional development—working with other women Women-to-women relationships in the workplace are . . . complicated. When they’re good, they’re great. But when they’re bad, they can ruin your day, your week—even your year. Packed with proven advice from two of today’s leading experts in workplace relationships, this one-of-a-kind guide gives women the tools they need to navigate difficult situations unique to women-to-women relationships—whether with a boss, a colleague, a client, or an employee. Have you dealt with a woman in the workplace who: “Accidentally” excludes you from important meetings? Seems intent on taking you down professionally? Gossips about you with other coworkers? Makes you look bad by missing deadlines? Forms a “pack” of mean girls to make your life miserable? Mean Girls at Work isn’t just about surviving difficult situations. It’s about transforming a toxic relationship into one that benefits and supports both of you. This book is also for women who engage in mean behavior . . . but don’t know it. After all, who hasn’t gossiped about a female coworker? Who hasn’t rolled her eyes in the presence of a woman she doesn’t like? Who hasn’t scanned another woman head to toe—which is just a nonverbal way of saying, “You’ve just been judged”? The authors provide invaluable advice to the more subtle ways of being mean—even if they’re not intended. With a workforce composed of a higher percentage of women than ever, workplace dynamics have changed. Crowley and Elster cover every conceivable scenario, providing critical advice on how to rise above the fray and move forward professionally. Mean Girls at Work is your map to dodging the mines and moving forward in today’s transformed workplace. Praise for Mean Girls at Work “An invaluable suit of armor for surviving nine to five!” —Leil Lowndes, bestselling author of How to Talk to Anyone “If you think the emotional cruelty of comedies like Mean Girls and Heathers doesn’t exist in the real world workplace, think again. In Mean Girls at Work, Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster valuably chronicle female vs. female predators and offer solid defensive strategies.” —Ann Kreamer, author of It’s Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace “Whether you are in your twenties and just starting your professional career, your midcareer forties, when you are supposed to have figured it out already, or a woman in her fifties or sixties who’s seen it all—this book is a must-read. . . . The authors have finally given women the tools and the sound advice necessary to deal with . . . conflicts that keep us all from succeeding. . . . Carry this book with you to work every day!” —Carolyn Cassin, President, Michigan Women’s Foundation “A must-read for women of all ages in today’s workforce. This book offers what we all need to develop the capacities to endure this ever-changing workplace. We know it is all about relationships and you need the skills outlined in this book to survive and thrive when the Mean Girls attack.” —Kim Harrington, Coordinator, Professional Development and Training, Office of Human Resources, California State University, Sacramento
Book Synopsis How to Get Hot Women into Bed by : Ed West
Download or read book How to Get Hot Women into Bed written by Ed West and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-08-28 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
