Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781621052210
Total Pages : 122 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (522 download)

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Book Synopsis Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes by : Carlton Mellick III

Download or read book Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes written by Carlton Mellick III and published by . This book was released on 2016-04-06 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Known for his cute, disturbing, and utterly absurd novels, cult author Carlton Mellick III returns with a tale of childhood love and spontaneous face explosions. Ethan is in love with the weird girl in school. The one with the twitchy eyes and spiders in her hair. The one who can't sit still for even a minute and speaks in an odd squeaky voice. The one they call "Spiderweb." Although she scares all the other kids in school, Ethan thinks Spiderweb is the cutest, sweetest, most perfect girl in the world. But there's a problem. Whenever they go on a date at the Dairy Queen, her whole fucking face explodes. He's not sure why it happens. She just gets so excited that pressure builds under her skin. Then her face bursts, spraying meat and gore across the room, her eyeballs and lips landing in his strawberry sundae. At first, Ethan believes he can deal with his girlfriend's face-exploding condition. But the more he gets to know her, the weirder her condition turns out to be. And as their relationship gets serious, Ethan realizes that the only way to make it work is to become just as strange as she is. From the award-winning author of "Sweet Story" and "The Haunted Vagina," comes a twisted love story that is as creepy as it is heart-warming.

The Morbidly Obese Ninja

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781936383573
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (835 download)

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Book Synopsis The Morbidly Obese Ninja by : Carlton Mellick III

Download or read book The Morbidly Obese Ninja written by Carlton Mellick III and published by . This book was released on 2011-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Neo Tokyo, California is a city built so high that none of its residents have ever seen the ground. It is a place where citizens cosmetically alter their bodies to look like Japanese anime characters. It is a place where ninja battles determine the fate of corporate business ventures. It is the home of Basu-- a 700 pound killing machine who uses his grotesque excess weight as a deadly weapon.

Apeshit

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781621050414
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (54 download)

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Book Synopsis Apeshit by : Carlton Mellick Iii

Download or read book Apeshit written by Carlton Mellick Iii and published by . This book was released on 2013-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened

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Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0425261018
Total Pages : 385 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (252 download)

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Book Synopsis Let's Pretend This Never Happened by : Jenny Lawson

Download or read book Let's Pretend This Never Happened written by Jenny Lawson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-03-05 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Unbroken

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Publisher : Random House Trade Paperbacks
ISBN 13 : 0812974492
Total Pages : 530 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (129 download)

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Book Synopsis Unbroken by : Laura Hillenbrand

Download or read book Unbroken written by Laura Hillenbrand and published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This book was released on 2014-07-29 with total page 530 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE • Look for special features inside. Join the Random House Reader’s Circle for author chats and more. In boyhood, Louis Zamperini was an incorrigible delinquent. As a teenager, he channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics. But when World War II began, the athlete became an airman, embarking on a journey that led to a doomed flight on a May afternoon in 1943. When his Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean, against all odds, Zamperini survived, adrift on a foundering life raft. Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will. Appearing in paperback for the first time—with twenty arresting new photos and an extensive Q&A with the author—Unbroken is an unforgettable testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit, brought vividly to life by Seabiscuit author Laura Hillenbrand. Hailed as the top nonfiction book of the year by Time magazine • Winner of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for biography and the Indies Choice Adult Nonfiction Book of the Year award “Extraordinarily moving . . . a powerfully drawn survival epic.”—The Wall Street Journal “[A] one-in-a-billion story . . . designed to wrench from self-respecting critics all the blurby adjectives we normally try to avoid: It is amazing, unforgettable, gripping, harrowing, chilling, and inspiring.”—New York “Staggering . . . mesmerizing . . . Hillenbrand’s writing is so ferociously cinematic, the events she describes so incredible, you don’t dare take your eyes off the page.”—People “A meticulous, soaring and beautifully written account of an extraordinary life.”—The Washington Post “Ambitious and powerful . . . a startling narrative and an inspirational book.”—The New York Times Book Review “Magnificent . . . incredible . . . [Hillenbrand] has crafted another masterful blend of sports, history and overcoming terrific odds; this is biography taken to the nth degree, a chronicle of a remarkable life lived through extraordinary times.”—The Dallas Morning News “An astonishing testament to the superhuman power of tenacity.”—Entertainment Weekly “A tale of triumph and redemption . . . astonishingly detailed.”—O: The Oprah Magazine “[A] masterfully told true story . . . nothing less than a marvel.”—Washingtonian “[Hillenbrand tells this] story with cool elegance but at a thrilling sprinter’s pace.”—Time “Hillenbrand [is] one of our best writers of narrative history. You don’t have to be a sports fan or a war-history buff to devour this book—you just have to love great storytelling.”—Rebecca Skloot, author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

120 Days of Sodom

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Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1625585985
Total Pages : 450 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (255 download)

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Book Synopsis 120 Days of Sodom by : Marquis de Sade

Download or read book 120 Days of Sodom written by Marquis de Sade and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-02-18 with total page 450 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The 120 Days of Sodom by Marquis de Sade relates the story of four wealthy men who enslave 24 mostly teenaged victims and sexually torture them while listening to stories told by old prostitutes. The book was written while Sade was imprisoned in the Bastille and the manuscript was lost during the storming of the Bastille. Sade wrote that he "wept tears of blood" over the manuscript's loss. Many consider this to be Sade crowing acheivement.

Together We Will Go

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Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1982142596
Total Pages : 320 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (821 download)

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Book Synopsis Together We Will Go by : J. Michael Straczynski

Download or read book Together We Will Go written by J. Michael Straczynski and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-02-22 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Breakfast Club meets The Silver Linings Playbook in this powerful, provocative, and heartfelt novel about twelve strangers who come together to make the most of their final days, from New York Times bestselling and award-winning author J. Michael Straczynski. Mark Antonelli, a failed young writer looking down the barrel at thirty, is planning a cross-country road trip. He buys a beat-up old tour bus. He hires a young army vet to drive it. He puts out an ad for others to join him along the way. But this will be a road trip like no other: His passengers are all fellow disheartened souls who have decided that this will be their final journey—upon arrival in San Francisco, they will find a cliff with an amazing view of the ocean at sunset, hit the gas, and drive out of this world. The unlikely companions include a young woman with a chronic pain sensory disorder and another who was relentlessly bullied at school for her size; a bipolar, party-loving neo-hippie; a gentle coder with a literal hole in his heart and blue skin; and a poet dreaming of a better world beyond this one. We get to know them through access to their texts, emails, voicemails, and the daily journal entries they write as the price of admission for this trip. By turns tragic, funny, quirky, charming, and deeply moving, Together We Will Go explores the decisions that brings these characters together, and the relationships that grow between them, with some discovering love and affection for the first time. But as they cross state lines and complications to the initial plan arise, it becomes clear that this is a novel as much about the will to live as it is the choice to end it. The final, unforgettable moments as they hurtle toward the outcomes awaiting them will be remembered for a lifetime.

The Things They Carried

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Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0547420293
Total Pages : 259 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (474 download)

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Book Synopsis The Things They Carried by : Tim O'Brien

Download or read book The Things They Carried written by Tim O'Brien and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.

To the Lighthouse

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Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1504083865
Total Pages : 213 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (4 download)

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Book Synopsis To the Lighthouse by : Virginia Woolf

Download or read book To the Lighthouse written by Virginia Woolf and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2023-01-01 with total page 213 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This landmark work of modernist literature explores the inner lives of a typical English family while vividly exploring the nature of loss and memory. Following her celebrated masterpiece Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf continues to develop her groundbreaking stream-of-consciousness technique in To the Lighthouse. Every summer, the Ramsey family returns to the Isle of Skye for a tranquil holiday, where the imposing lighthouse seems to promise everlasting constancy. But as their idyllic holiday confronts the realities of World War I, the Ramseys must also face the inescapable nature of change. A profound evocation of marriage, parenthood, aging, and grief, To the Lighthouse is regarded as one of the greatest novels of the twentieth century.

The Baby Jesus Butt Plug

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780972959827
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (598 download)

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Book Synopsis The Baby Jesus Butt Plug by : Carlton Mellick

Download or read book The Baby Jesus Butt Plug written by Carlton Mellick and published by . This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This tale of office drones and disposable clones is a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family."--Back cover.

Stacking Doll

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Publisher : Eraserhead Press
ISBN 13 : 9781621052654
Total Pages : 138 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (526 download)

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Book Synopsis Stacking Doll by : Carlton Mellick III

Download or read book Stacking Doll written by Carlton Mellick III and published by Eraserhead Press. This book was released on 2018-03 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee. In his 56th book, Mellick has created a surreal love story that explores the ugly and beautiful nature of relationships. Stacking Doll is the story of Benjamin Hammond, a young man who is in love with a Russian nesting doll. But in this world, nesting dolls are not just antique wooden toys. They are a race of people known as Matryoshkans, a subspecies of human who are born with a very peculiar abnormality--they have a collection of smaller people living inside of them. Benjamin never thought he'd ever fall in love with anyone, let alone a Matryoshkan, but from the moment he met Ynaria he knew she was the only one for him. Although relationships between humans and Matryoshkans are practically unheard of, the two are determined to get married despite objections from their friends and family. After meeting Ynaria's strict conservative parents, it becomes clear to Benjamin that the only way they will approve of their union is if they undergo The Trial--a matryoshkan wedding tradition where couples lock themselves in a house for several days in order to introduce each other to all of the people living inside of them. No human has ever gone through The Trial before, so Benjamin has no idea what's in store for him. He assumes that he'll love each of Ynaria's inner selves just as much as he loves her, but as she peels off her layers he realizes that each one is more neurotic and difficult to deal with than the last. And if they're ever going to be together, Benjamin must fall in love with each and every one of his fianc's inner personalities, no matter how strange or disturbing they turn out to be. From the author of Quicksand House and The Terrible Thing That Happens, comes yet another one-of-a-kind bizarro story that only Wonderland Award-winning cult author Carlton Mellick III could tell.

ClownFellas

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Publisher : Hydra
ISBN 13 : 0804179352
Total Pages : 402 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (41 download)

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Book Synopsis ClownFellas by : Carlton Mellick, III

Download or read book ClownFellas written by Carlton Mellick, III and published by Hydra. This book was released on 2015-07-14 with total page 402 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Binzo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you. For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Binzo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Binzos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Binzos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing. Praise for ClownFellas “Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.”—Publishers Weekly “The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.”—Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header “I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown “If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it. . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue. . . . A must-read.”—This Is Horror “Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative. . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . . ClownFellas is a gem!”—The Qwillery “A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.”—Examiner.com “Mellick has created another amazing read. . . . Highly recommended.”—Kitty Horror

Overthrow

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Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 0805082409
Total Pages : 415 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (5 download)

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Book Synopsis Overthrow by : Stephen Kinzer

Download or read book Overthrow written by Stephen Kinzer and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2007-02-06 with total page 415 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An award-winning author tells the stories of the audacious American politicians, military commanders, and business executives who took it upon themselves to depose monarchs, presidents, and prime ministers of other countries with disastrous long-term consequences.

The Haunted Vagina

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 128 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (91 download)

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Book Synopsis The Haunted Vagina by : Carlton Mellick

Download or read book The Haunted Vagina written by Carlton Mellick and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

The Terrible Thing That Happens

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Publisher : Eraserhead Press
ISBN 13 : 9781621052241
Total Pages : 154 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (522 download)

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Book Synopsis The Terrible Thing That Happens by : Carlton Mellick III

Download or read book The Terrible Thing That Happens written by Carlton Mellick III and published by Eraserhead Press. This book was released on 2016-10-01 with total page 154 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There is a grocery store. The last grocery store in the world. It stands alone in the middle of a vast wasteland that was once our world. The open sign is still illuminated, brightening the black landscape. It can be seen from miles away, even through the poisonous red ash. Every night at the exact same time, the store comes alive. It becomes exactly as it was before the world ended. Its shelves are replenished with fresh food and water. Ghostly shoppers walk the aisles. The scent of freshly baked breads can be smelled from the rust-caked parking lot. For generations, a small community of survivors, hideously mutated from the toxic atmosphere, have survived by collecting goods from the store. But it is not an easy task. Decades ago, before the world was destroyed, there was a terrible thing that happened in this place. A group of armed men in brown paper masks descended on the shopping center, massacring everyone in sight. This horrible event reoccurs every night, in the exact same manner. And the only way the wastelanders can gather enough food for their survival is to traverse the killing spree, memorize the patterns, and escape the bloodbath before it's too late. From the godfather of bizarro fiction, Carlton Mellick III, comes an absurd horror story unlike anything you've read before.

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781933929934
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (299 download)

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Book Synopsis Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by : Cameron Pierce

Download or read book Ass Goblins of Auschwitz written by Cameron Pierce and published by . This book was released on 2009-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce. In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children. While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids. Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.

The Time Traveler's Wife

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Publisher : Night Bookmobile Editions
ISBN 13 : 0578889412
Total Pages : 424 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (788 download)

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Book Synopsis The Time Traveler's Wife by : Audrey Niffenegger

Download or read book The Time Traveler's Wife written by Audrey Niffenegger and published by Night Bookmobile Editions. This book was released on 2021-04-30 with total page 424 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A most untraditional love story, this is the celebrated tale of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian who inadvertently travels through time, and Clare Abshire, an artist whose life takes a natural sequential course. Henry and Clare’s passionate affair endures across a sea of time and captures them in an impossibly romantic trap that tests the strength of fate and basks in the bonds of love. “Niffenegger’s inventive and poignant writing is well worth a trip” (Entertainment Weekly).