All New Letters From A Nut

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Letters From A Nut

Author : Ted L Nancy
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 1446491501
Total Pages : 194 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (464 download)

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Book Synopsis Letters From A Nut by : Ted L Nancy

Download or read book Letters From A Nut written by Ted L Nancy and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-10-31 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city... I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME."... Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.

More Letters from a Nut

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher : Bantam
ISBN 13 : 0804149801
Total Pages : 871 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (41 download)

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Book Synopsis More Letters from a Nut by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book More Letters from a Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and published by Bantam. This book was released on 2013-07-31 with total page 871 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

All New Letters from a Nut

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher : Crown Archetype
ISBN 13 : 0307716287
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis All New Letters from a Nut by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book All New Letters from a Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2010 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The best-selling author of Letters from a Nut presents a latest collection of whimsical correspondence between the author and the unwary establishments, organizations and government offices that attempted to respond to such requests as a hotel room for 300 hamsters and a 59-foot piece of bologna.

Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut!

Author : Ted Nancy
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780312261559
Total Pages : 244 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (615 download)

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Book Synopsis Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut! by : Ted Nancy

Download or read book Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut! written by Ted Nancy and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2000-06-14 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Hello Junk Mail!

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780980059212
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (592 download)

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Book Synopsis Hello Junk Mail! by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book Hello Junk Mail! written by Ted L. Nancy and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humour.

Letters From Grace

Author : C.J. Carmichael
Publisher : Tule Publishing
ISBN 13 : 195489418X
Total Pages : 192 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (548 download)

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Book Synopsis Letters From Grace by : C.J. Carmichael

Download or read book Letters From Grace written by C.J. Carmichael and published by Tule Publishing. This book was released on 2021-09-23 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finding old love letters in her father’s closet inspires a teen to play matchmaker. Jessica Shanahan is off to college next year, but she’s worried about leaving her father, Levi Shanahan, alone. He’s been a single dad since his wife died when Jessica was only a toddler. He reassures her that he’s too busy running his family general store, taking care of his aging parents and volunteering in the community to be lonely. But Jessica has her doubts—especially when she finds old love letters from his high school sweetheart. Travel photographer Grace Hamilton is promoting her latest book when a student from her hometown reaches out about a research project. Curious, Grace meets with her and when the teen invites her to the Woodland Foliage Arts Festival, Grace accepts. Though her career’s been successful and fulfilling, she’s never met a man who touched her heart the way Levi Shanahan once did. Maybe a trip home will finally help her to move on and find the one thing that’s eluded her throughout her years of travel—love.

Little Billy's Letters

Author : Bill Geerhart
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062015109
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (62 download)

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Book Synopsis Little Billy's Letters by : Bill Geerhart

Download or read book Little Billy's Letters written by Bill Geerhart and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-05-03 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do Tori Spelling, the Church of Scientology, and Donald Rumsfeld all have in common?: They -- and many others -- have answered letters from "Little Billy", a grown man with a cache of stamps and far too much time on his hands. Funny, touching, and delightfully quirky, Billy's letters cover a broad range of subject matter: Operation Drop-Out: Considering dropping out of elementary school, Billy writes to serial killers and celebrities seeking their wise counsel. Billy's Law: Which Supreme Court Justice prefers the Big Mac to the Whopper? Who is Janet Reno's favorite crime fighter? What does Robert Shapiro say is the best defense for being framed for murder? Billy finds out. The Making of the Class President: Billy runs for class president and collects "endorsements" from Nancy Reagan, Dick Cheney, George HW Bush, Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, Ken Starr, and Colin Powell. Choosing My Religion: Billy asks representatives from the Catholic, Presbyterian, Mormon, Raelian, Satanic, Scientologist, Hare Krishna and Unification Church (Moonies) what is "cool" or "easy" about their religion. Presidents, Supreme Court Justices, Celebrities, Heads of Corporations, Serial Killers, Robot Makers, and the NesQuick Bunny have all replied to "Little Billy's" scrawled questions.

Crying in H Mart

Author : Michelle Zauner
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0525657754
Total Pages : 257 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (256 download)

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Book Synopsis Crying in H Mart by : Michelle Zauner

Download or read book Crying in H Mart written by Michelle Zauner and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2021-04-20 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the indie rock sensation known as Japanese Breakfast, an unforgettable memoir about family, food, grief, love, and growing up Korean American—“in losing her mother and cooking to bring her back to life, Zauner became herself” (NPR). • CELEBRATING OVER ONE YEAR ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humor and heart, she tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, and performing gigs with her fledgling band--and meeting the man who would become her husband--her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her. Vivacious and plainspoken, lyrical and honest, Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage. Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely, and complete with family photos, Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish, share, and reread.

Idiot Letters

Author : Paul Rosa
Publisher : Main Street Books
ISBN 13 : 9780385475082
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (75 download)

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Book Synopsis Idiot Letters by : Paul Rosa

Download or read book Idiot Letters written by Paul Rosa and published by Main Street Books. This book was released on 1995 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Look out, public relations; take cover, customer service -- Paul Rosa's letter is in the mail and his inventively imbecilic queries about consumer products have a way of eliciting equally idiotic and even more unlikely answers from some of America's biggest companies.

Consumer Joe

Author : Paul Davidson
Publisher : Broadway
ISBN 13 : 9780767915021
Total Pages : 228 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (15 download)

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Book Synopsis Consumer Joe by : Paul Davidson

Download or read book Consumer Joe written by Paul Davidson and published by Broadway. This book was released on 2003 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the bestselling tradition of "The Lazlow Letters" and "Letters from a Nut," screenwriter Paul Davidson has been firing off humble but humorous letters to Fortune 500 companies to find answers to such hot-button questions like why hasn't Minute Maid begun to sell an all pulp, juice-free product yet, and whether it's safe to microwave a bowl of Marshmallow Fluff on high for ten minutes. And the funny thing is . . . consumer-care departments everywhere have been writing back to him, addressing his queries with deadpan seriousness. Collecting dozens of selections from Davidson's funniest correspondence, "Consumer Joe" uncovers why a box of fifty envelopes only contained forty-seven and how colorblind people are supposed to tell whether their Ziploc baggies ("yellow and blue makes green") are properly sealed, while making numerous product-improvement suggestions along the way (such as adding Tuna Melt flavor to the Jamba Juice product line). Taking aim at the increasingly advertising-sponsored society, "Consumer Joe" features utterly absurd but irresistible missives to companies ranging from Barnes & Noble and Fed-Ex to Southwest Airlines and Taco Bell. Full of kvetches we all can relate to, "Consumer Joe" is poised to become the patron saint of every beleaguered shopper.

The Letters of Shirley Jackson

Author : Shirley Jackson
Publisher : Random House Trade Paperbacks
ISBN 13 : 0593134656
Total Pages : 673 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (931 download)

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Book Synopsis The Letters of Shirley Jackson by : Shirley Jackson

Download or read book The Letters of Shirley Jackson written by Shirley Jackson and published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This book was released on 2022-07-19 with total page 673 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A bewitchingly brilliant collection of never-before-published letters from the renowned author of “The Lottery” and The Haunting of Hill House NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY KIRKUS REVIEWS • “This biography-through-letters gives an intimate and warm voice to the imagination behind the treasury of uncanny tales that is Shirley Jackson’s legacy.”—Joyce Carol Oates Shirley Jackson is one of the most important American authors of the last hundred years and among our greatest chroniclers of the female experience. This extraordinary compilation of personal correspondence has all the hallmarks of Jackson’s beloved fiction: flashes of the uncanny in the domestic, sparks of horror in the quotidian, and the veins of humor that run through good times and bad. i am having a fine time doing a novel with my left hand and a long story—with as many levels as grand central station—with my right hand, stirring chocolate pudding with a spoon held in my teeth, and tuning the television with both feet. Written over the course of nearly three decades, from Jackson’s college years to six days before her early death at the age of forty-eight, these letters become the autobiography Shirley Jackson never wrote. As well as being a bestselling author, Jackson spent much of her adult life as a mother of four in Vermont, and the landscape here is often the everyday: raucous holidays and trips to the dentist, overdue taxes and frayed lines of Christmas lights, new dogs and new babies. But in recounting these events to family, friends, and colleagues, she turns them into remarkable stories: entertaining, revealing, and wise. At the same time, many of these letters provide fresh insight into the genesis and progress of Jackson’s writing over nearly three decades. The novel is getting sadder. It’s always such a strange feeling—I know something’s going to happen, and those poor people in the book don’t; they just go blithely on their ways. Compiled and edited by her elder son, Laurence Jackson Hyman, in consultation with Jackson scholar Bernice M. Murphy and featuring Jackson’s own witty line drawings, this intimate collection holds the beguiling prism of Shirley Jackson—writer and reader, mother and daughter, neighbor and wife—up to the light.

Collins Big Cat Phonics - Sam and the Nut

Author : Sheryl Webster
Publisher : HarperCollins UK
ISBN 13 : 0007334990
Total Pages : 20 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (73 download)

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Book Synopsis Collins Big Cat Phonics - Sam and the Nut by : Sheryl Webster

Download or read book Collins Big Cat Phonics - Sam and the Nut written by Sheryl Webster and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2010 with total page 20 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sam the squirrel has seen a juicy looking nut at the top of a tree, but when he tries to knock it down, it falls to the ground and into the paws of a cat and a dog. Will he ever get his nut back? Beautiful illustrations by Giuditta Gaviraghi accompany this story. * Pink/1B - A simple story with a familiar setting * Text type: Fiction * Focus phonemes: s, a, t, i, p, n, m, c, g, k, ck, d, e, o, u * A story map on pages 14-15 helps children recap important events of the narrative and provides a wealth of speaking and listening opportunities

Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher : Booksurge Publishing
ISBN 13 : 9781439247273
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (472 download)

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Book Synopsis Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories written by Ted L. Nancy and published by Booksurge Publishing. This book was released on 2011-03-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now Ted writes stories instead of letters and reads them to people at their jobs. If they don't want to hear the story, he brings on an idiotic act like the ventriloquist with a puppet in a coma.

The Lazlo Letters

Author : Don Novello
Publisher : Workman Publishing
ISBN 13 : 9781563052859
Total Pages : 164 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (528 download)

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Book Synopsis The Lazlo Letters by : Don Novello

Download or read book The Lazlo Letters written by Don Novello and published by Workman Publishing. This book was released on 1992-01-01 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Updated with a new cover and 14 new pages of letters and replies, here is the classic that put America into a "Fight! Fight! Fight!" mood. Novello's collection of correspondence with political and corporate officials provides an offbeat portrait of our times. "A very funny book".--Chevy Chase.

Dear Bob and Sue

Author : Matt Smith
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780985358181
Total Pages : 333 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (581 download)

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Book Synopsis Dear Bob and Sue by : Matt Smith

Download or read book Dear Bob and Sue written by Matt Smith and published by . This book was released on 2019-07-28 with total page 333 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Letters from India

Author : Emily Eden
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 372 pages
Book Rating : 4.:/5 (8 download)

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Book Synopsis Letters from India by : Emily Eden

Download or read book Letters from India written by Emily Eden and published by . This book was released on 1872 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Nut Tree

Author : Diane Power Zimmerman
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780578995199
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (951 download)

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Book Synopsis Nut Tree by : Diane Power Zimmerman

Download or read book Nut Tree written by Diane Power Zimmerman and published by . This book was released on 2021-10-29 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Long before California became a world leader in wine and food, Nut Tree pioneered the idea of dining as, first and foremost, an experience. The food not only delighted the palate, but it also presented a visual feast. By 1952, customers experienced the bounty of farm-to-table, the nostalgia of grandma's homemade bread, a tamale of Old California, exotic tropical fruits, or stir-fried entrees inspired by Asian cultures. Later, customers sipped California wines along with fresh-from-the-farm foods. This epic story of a world-famous restaurant spans the twentieth century and tells how a California ranch grew into a renowned destination in Vacaville, California, fifty miles inland from San Francisco. Visitors came by land and by air knowing they would find surprises-something found nowhere else. They came to dine, purchase fresh baked goods, candies, unique gifts, or just to look at the art and enjoy the entertainment. While basking in the hospitality, customers came back again and again, making life-long friends with family and employees. Central to the story is the author's grandmother, Helen Harbison Power, who, as a newlywed along with her husband, Bunny, opened a fruit stand that grew into a multi-million-dollar roadside destination. For seventy-five years, Nut Tree defined Western food, mid-century design, and cutting-edge hospitality, attracting ordinary folks, and serving dignitaries alike, including Ronald Regan, Neil Armstrong, and Queen Elizabeth II. While many journalists have written articles about the rich history of Nut Tree, no one has written a five-generation retrospective. Diane Power Zimmerman draws from her own experiences as a founding family member growing up at Nut Tree and from the treasure trove of memorabilia--photos, stories, family histories, newspaper clippings, and letters. She reflects on how Nut Tree defied the odds and foreshadowed the future. Then, seemingly overnight, the future became a high-speed freeway and wall-to-wall shopping centers with an abundance of choice and fierce competition. Nut Tree, in all its complexity, could no longer compete and closed after seventy-five years.