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Till Death Do Us Fart
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Book Synopsis Till Death Do Us Fart by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Till Death Do Us Fart written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2014-05-18 with total page 20 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,500 words.
Book Synopsis Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2018-06-19 with total page 20 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner... Approximately 3,100 words.
Book Synopsis A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve - Episode 1: Maloofed by : Donald Rump
Download or read book A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve - Episode 1: Maloofed written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-04-24 with total page 20 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Steve Skaggs realizes that his earthly body is gone and now he’s a crusty, old fart, the circumstances behind his mysterious death become clear, sending on an aloof adventure of betrayal and deceit. A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve is an ongoing serial novel. This particular volume, including the subsequent author’s note, is approximately 3,150 words. WARNING This story is about a man who dies and comes back to life as a fart. There’s sex involved—not with farts, because you can’t have sex with a fart, you dolt! Anyways, there’s a Pakistani meat stick that’s mentioned, boobs that seem to defy the laws of the galaxy, and plenty of cruel and unusual things that happen to everyone’s favorite fart, Steve. Even if you are some perverted old fool, don’t read it to your kids. You don’t want to have to explain where our arch villainess’ mouth has been. And don’t say that I didn’t warn you!
Download or read book Fart Lover Supreme written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2020-01-24 with total page 27 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time. Approximately 2,800 words.
Book Synopsis Bottling Farts, Inc. Season One by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Bottling Farts, Inc. Season One written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2017-10-22 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of toxic gas at his disposal. Can anyone stop his evil plot to gas the world? AND GETS F**KED OVER BY A MYSTERIOUS DIPSH*T AGENT . . . By his letter he is known. W. W for Wacky. W for Wicked. W for WTF?! WILL THE INDELIBLE SH*THEAD GET HIS REVENGE? Or is mankind totally f**ked? Season One includes all nine episodes of Bottling Farts, Inc. plus the original short story that kicked off the series. Approximately 35,000 words in all.
Book Synopsis Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2018-07-04 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortune? No, probably not. Approximately 4,100 words.
Book Synopsis Four Stinky Stories, Vol. 3 by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Four Stinky Stories, Vol. 3 written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2017-07-01 with total page 69 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What's that I see? Four more stinky stories that are sure to enliven anyone's day! Included in this fartabulous foursome: CAPTIVE AUDIENCE Three men, one blonde secretary, a jammed up elevator, and a series of ghastly, deadly farts. What could possibly go wrong? BUTT-DIALING BASTARD When Lenny Ludwitz gets a call from a mysterious stranger, he knows that he's totally f*cked. After going round and round with the knucklehead caller, Lenny and his trio of halfwit friends come to the only conclusion that they can--that the call, indeed, is originating from his bunghole. THE WOULD BE ASSTRONAUT He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship. FLOOFED AT 40,000 FEET It's a swell day aboard Crampton Airways Flight 007 until a passenger decides to follow his heart (and nose) out the airplane by cracking open the emergency door. Before long, others follow, chasing their dreams to certain death. What exactly has gotten into them? ***BONUS!*** KEEPING WIND LATEN AND THE REST OF THE WORLD AT BAY Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 12,000 words.
Book Synopsis Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB) by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-11-24 with total page 20 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.
Book Synopsis Floofed at 40,000 Feet by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Floofed at 40,000 Feet written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2017-06-29 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's a swell day aboard Crampton Airways Flight 007 until a passenger decides to follow his heart (and nose) out the airplane by cracking open the emergency door. Before long, others follow, chasing their dreams to certain death. What exactly has gotten into them? The hell if Captain Marlow knows, who's still waiting for the busty stewardess to deliver a much needed shot of vodka. Approximately 3,200 words. Note: This is a companion piece to the original Finding Floofy. WARNING: Brain freeze ahead.
Download or read book The $500 Question written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2014-01-06 with total page 31 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. ¡Ay, caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas going to really stink? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.
Book Synopsis Like a Festering Ingrown Toenail--Where’s My Side of Toe Cheese? by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Like a Festering Ingrown Toenail--Where’s My Side of Toe Cheese? written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-05-08 with total page 23 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Earl Muggs wanted a wife. Instead, he got the devil, or close to it. His witch of a wife Helga doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, and certainly doesn’t polish yours truly. Gagnabbit! So what’s a man to do? Get revenge, that’s what! And mental midget Muggs knows just how… Approximately 1,200 words. WARNING: Contains toe cheese.
Download or read book The Hairiest Butt written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2019-05-06 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The search for the hairiest butt on Venus leads to explosive results. Approximately 1,600 words. WARNING: Butts, with lots of hair on them.
Download or read book Pedo Flambé written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2019-02-02 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When an old man hobbles into the Palazzio and demands his favorite dish, the peculiar Pedo Flambé, the wait staff isn't sure what to make of it. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have such a thing on our menu." His baby-faced waiter Zach Spitz frowns. "You sure about that?" The old man slaps down a $100 bill. "Of course, sir. Right away, sir!" Zach's manager snatches up the bill and runs back to the kitchen. Approximately 4,000 words.
Book Synopsis The Would Be Asstronaut by : Donald Rump
Download or read book The Would Be Asstronaut written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-06-18 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hank Larmspitz has a plan. Well, sort of. He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship. Exactly what does he have in mind? Dan Dinkerleaf, a local correspondent for KAAS-LD Eureeka, wants to find out. And when he discovers Hank's true intentions, his patience becomes paper thin. "Seriously?" he blurts out. "Don't you think your theory is a bit…oh, I don't know...implausible?" "Watch close and you might learn something." Hank cracked his knuckles and pulled out a helping of his favorite brand. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.
Book Synopsis 20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) by : Donald Rump
Download or read book 20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-12-13 with total page 47 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.
Book Synopsis Captive Audience (EPUB) by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Captive Audience (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-12-19 with total page 25 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three men, one blonde secretary, a jammed up elevator, and a series of ghastly, deadly farts. What could possibly go wrong? Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,600 words.
Book Synopsis Ten Stinky Stories: Vol. 1 (ePub) by : Donald Rump
Download or read book Ten Stinky Stories: Vol. 1 (ePub) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2015-12-05 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrating the best of fart fiction, Donald Rump weaves together ten flatulent tales of love, betrayal, flesh-eating cannibals, and everyone's favorite green gas, that are sure to blow you away. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Over 100 pages (approximately 32,000 words). BOTTLING FARTS Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the mild-mannered doctor to snap. GOING DUTCH Barnabus Prim has reached the end of his rope. Drowning in debt and married to an obnoxious wife who can't stand the sight of him, he decides to do the unthinkable. But finding a way to the afterlife proves more difficult than he imagined. MARRIAGE STINKS Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd heard everything until an odd man named Bilby Bloob shows up in the DMV lobby one morning. When Bilby demands a marriage license for his gassy wife, the old man puts his foot down. Sure, it's one thing to marry your high school sweetheart, but a fart? Who in the world marries farts? GASTROINTESTINAL BLUES Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? THE WOULD BE ASTRONAUT Hank Larmspitz has a plan. Well, sort of. He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship. THE $500 QUESTION Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. Hay caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas really going to stink? FINDING FLOOFY When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it's the last thing I do!" TILL DEATH DO US FART Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. WEEKEND GETAWAY When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they're in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they've reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won't do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads, and offers each a shot of poison to end their suffering. Will the two lovebirds cash in on their free weekend getaway and make things right between them? Or will the doomed couple kill each other in the process? BONUS! Also includes the bonus story I Am Fart.