The Most Stolen Borrowed Jokes In The History Of The Internet

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The Most Stolen/Borrowed Jokes in the History of the Internet

Author : Rich Wilens
Publisher : CreateSpace
ISBN 13 : 9781475090789
Total Pages : 188 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (97 download)

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Book Synopsis The Most Stolen/Borrowed Jokes in the History of the Internet by : Rich Wilens

Download or read book The Most Stolen/Borrowed Jokes in the History of the Internet written by Rich Wilens and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compilation of Jokes, One-liners and Poems guaranteed to be the funniest material ever stolen/borrowed from the internet. You will hear such jokes as: A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. You can't have everything, where would you put it? Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. Pick up lines overheard from men to women: Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: So, wanna go back to my place ? Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? Things you should not say to a cop: 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN... The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people." Think about this, Not That.... I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Slogan's ..............................WHAT? On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." Some Men Jokes.... What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What is the thinnest book in the world? "What Men Know About Women" How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One ... men will screw anything. Just Sayin: The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. I live in my own little world, but it's ok they know me here. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast." I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately! "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive." Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted. Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom. "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" Welcome To Shit Creek Sorry, We're Out of Paddles! Rules of life so to speak: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape . 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right." Lawyer stuff: These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down & now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. and so much more...... This will be the funniest 90 minute read ever.

The Funniest Laugh Out Loud, Roll on the the Floor, Joke Book in the History of the Internet

Author : Rich Wilens
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781479252039
Total Pages : 120 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (52 download)

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Book Synopsis The Funniest Laugh Out Loud, Roll on the the Floor, Joke Book in the History of the Internet by : Rich Wilens

Download or read book The Funniest Laugh Out Loud, Roll on the the Floor, Joke Book in the History of the Internet written by Rich Wilens and published by . This book was released on 2012-09-03 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compilation of Jokes, One-liners and Poems guaranteed to be the funniest material ever stolen/borrowed from the internet. You will hear such jokes as: A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. You can't have everything, where would you put it? Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. Pick up lines overheard from men to women: Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: So, wanna go back to my place ? Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? Things you should not say to a cop: 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN... The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people." Think about this, Not That.... I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Slogan's ..............................WHAT? On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." Some Men Jokes.... What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What is the thinnest book in the world? "What Men Know About Women" How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One ... men will screw anything. Just Sayin: The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. I live in my own little world, but it's ok they know me here. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast." I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately! "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive." Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted. Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom. "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles! Rules of life so to speak: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape . 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right." Lawyer stuff: These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down & now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. and so much more...... This will be the funniest 90 minute read ever.

It Came from Something Awful

Author : Dale Beran
Publisher : All Points Books
ISBN 13 : 1250219477
Total Pages : 256 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (52 download)

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Book Synopsis It Came from Something Awful by : Dale Beran

Download or read book It Came from Something Awful written by Dale Beran and published by All Points Books. This book was released on 2019-07-30 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How 4chan and 8chan fuel white nationalism, inspire violence, and infect politics. The internet has transformed the ways we think and act, and by consequence, our politics. The most impactful recent political movements on the far left and right started with massive online collectives of teenagers. Strangely, both movements began on the same website: an anime imageboard called 4chan.org. It Came from Something Awful is the fascinating and bizarre story of sites like 4chan and 8chan and their profound effect on youth counterculture. Dale Beran has observed the anonymous messageboard community's shifting activities and interests since the beginning. Sites like 4chan and 8chan are microcosms of the internet itself—simultaneously at the vanguard of contemporary culture, politics, comedy and language, and a new low for all of the above. They were the original meme machines, mostly frequented by socially awkward and disenfranchised young men in search of a place to be alone together. During the recession of the late 2000’s, the memes became political. 4chan was the online hub of a leftist hacker collective known as Anonymous and a prominent supporter of the Occupy Wall Street movement. But within a few short years, the site’s ideology spun on its axis; it became the birthplace and breeding ground of the alt-right. In It Came from Something Awful, Beran uses his insider’s knowledge and natural storytelling ability to chronicle 4chan's strange journey from creating rage-comics to inciting riots to—according to some—memeing Donald Trump into the White House.

A Stolen Life

Author : Jaycee Dugard
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 0857207148
Total Pages : 263 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (572 download)

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Book Synopsis A Stolen Life by : Jaycee Dugard

Download or read book A Stolen Life written by Jaycee Dugard and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-07-12 with total page 263 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A raw and powerful memoir of Jaycee Lee Dugard's own story of being kidnapped as an 11-year-old and held captive for over 18 years On 10 June 1991, eleven-year-old Jaycee Dugard was abducted from a school bus stop within sight of her home in Tahoe, California. It was the last her family and friends saw of her for over eighteen years. On 26 August 2009, Dugard, her daughters, and Phillip Craig Garrido appeared in the office of her kidnapper's parole officer in California. Their unusual behaviour sparked an investigation that led to the positive identification of Jaycee Lee Dugard, living in a tent behind Garrido's home. During her time in captivity, at the age of fourteen and seventeen, she gave birth to two daughters, both fathered by Garrido. Dugard's memoir is written by the 30-year-old herself and covers the period from the time of her abduction in 1991 up until the present. In her stark, utterly honest and unflinching narrative, Jaycee opens up about what she experienced, including how she feels now, a year after being found. Garrido and his wife Nancy have since pleaded guilty to their crimes.

Best Life

Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 140 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis Best Life by :

Download or read book Best Life written by and published by . This book was released on 2008-04 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Best Life magazine empowers men to continually improve their physical, emotional and financial well-being to better enjoy the most rewarding years of their life.

Inside the Third Reich

Author : Albert Speer
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781857998566
Total Pages : 832 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (985 download)

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Book Synopsis Inside the Third Reich by : Albert Speer

Download or read book Inside the Third Reich written by Albert Speer and published by . This book was released on 1970 with total page 832 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'INSIDE THE THIRD REICH is not only the most significant personal German account to come out of the war but the most revealing document on the Hitler phenomenon yet written. It takes the reader inside Nazi Germany on four different levels: Hitler's inner circle, National Socialism as a whole, the area of wartime production and the inner struggle of Albert Speer. The author does not try to make excuses, even by implication, and is unrelenting toward himself and his associates... Speer's full-length portrait of Hitler has unnerving reality. The Fuhrer emerges as neither an incompetent nor a carpet-gnawing madman but as an evil genius of warped conceits endowed with an ineffable personal magic' NEW YORK TIMES

Seriously...I'm Kidding

Author : Ellen DeGeneres
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 13 : 0446585033
Total Pages : 146 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (465 download)

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Book Synopsis Seriously...I'm Kidding by : Ellen DeGeneres

Download or read book Seriously...I'm Kidding written by Ellen DeGeneres and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2011-10-04 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ~b~>With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus/DIVspan

Group Exercises for Adolescents

Author :
Publisher : SAGE
ISBN 13 : 1412970059
Total Pages : 273 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (129 download)

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Book Synopsis Group Exercises for Adolescents by :

Download or read book Group Exercises for Adolescents written by and published by SAGE. This book was released on 2010 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Comedy at the Edge

Author : Richard Zoglin
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN 13 : 1582346259
Total Pages : 257 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (823 download)

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Book Synopsis Comedy at the Edge by : Richard Zoglin

Download or read book Comedy at the Edge written by Richard Zoglin and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2009-02-10 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Surveys the stand-up comedy of the 1970s, citing the contributions of celebrity comics, from George Carlin and Richard Pryor to Robin Williams and Andy Kaufman, in an account that also evaluates the roles played by such clubs as Catch a Rising Star, the Improv, and the Comedy Store.

The Mirror

Author : Eben C. Sam
Publisher : Graphic Communications Group
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 32 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis The Mirror by : Eben C. Sam

Download or read book The Mirror written by Eben C. Sam and published by Graphic Communications Group. This book was released on 2005-02-19 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Between the World and Me

Author : Ta-Nehisi Coates
Publisher : One World
ISBN 13 : 0679645985
Total Pages : 163 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (796 download)

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Book Synopsis Between the World and Me by : Ta-Nehisi Coates

Download or read book Between the World and Me written by Ta-Nehisi Coates and published by One World. This book was released on 2015-07-14 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NATIONAL BOOK AWARD WINNER • NAMED ONE OF TIME’S TEN BEST NONFICTION BOOKS OF THE DECADE • PULITZER PRIZE FINALIST • NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE AWARD FINALIST • ONE OF OPRAH’S “BOOKS THAT HELP ME THROUGH” • NOW AN HBO ORIGINAL SPECIAL EVENT Hailed by Toni Morrison as “required reading,” a bold and personal literary exploration of America’s racial history by “the most important essayist in a generation and a writer who changed the national political conversation about race” (Rolling Stone) NAMED ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL BOOKS OF THE DECADE BY CNN • NAMED ONE OF PASTE’S BEST MEMOIRS OF THE DECADE • NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The New York Times Book Review • O: The Oprah Magazine • The Washington Post • People • Entertainment Weekly • Vogue • Los Angeles Times • San Francisco Chronicle • Chicago Tribune • New York • Newsday • Library Journal • Publishers Weekly In a profound work that pivots from the biggest questions about American history and ideals to the most intimate concerns of a father for his son, Ta-Nehisi Coates offers a powerful new framework for understanding our nation’s history and current crisis. Americans have built an empire on the idea of “race,” a falsehood that damages us all but falls most heavily on the bodies of black women and men—bodies exploited through slavery and segregation, and, today, threatened, locked up, and murdered out of all proportion. What is it like to inhabit a black body and find a way to live within it? And how can we all honestly reckon with this fraught history and free ourselves from its burden? Between the World and Me is Ta-Nehisi Coates’s attempt to answer these questions in a letter to his adolescent son. Coates shares with his son—and readers—the story of his awakening to the truth about his place in the world through a series of revelatory experiences, from Howard University to Civil War battlefields, from the South Side of Chicago to Paris, from his childhood home to the living rooms of mothers whose children’s lives were taken as American plunder. Beautifully woven from personal narrative, reimagined history, and fresh, emotionally charged reportage, Between the World and Me clearly illuminates the past, bracingly confronts our present, and offers a transcendent vision for a way forward.

The Hard Crowd

Author : Rachel Kushner
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1982157712
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (821 download)

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Book Synopsis The Hard Crowd by : Rachel Kushner

Download or read book The Hard Crowd written by Rachel Kushner and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-04-06 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now includes a new essay, “Naked Childhood,” about Kushner’s family, their converted school bus, and the Summers of Love in Oregon and San Francisco! “The Hard Crowd is wild, wide-ranging, and unsparingly intelligent throughout.” —Taylor Antrim, Vogue From a writer celebrated for her “chops, ambition, and killer instinct” (John Powers, Fresh Air), a career-spanning collection of spectacular essays about politics and culture. Rachel Kushner has established herself as “the most vital and interesting American novelist working today” (The Millions) and as a master of the essay form. In The Hard Crowd, she gathers a selection of her writing from over the course of the last twenty years that addresses the most pressing political, artistic, and cultural issues of our times—and illuminates the themes and real-life experiences that inform her fiction. In twenty razor-sharp essays, The Hard Crowd spans literary journalism, memoir, cultural criticism, and writing about art and literature, including pieces on Jeff Koons, Denis Johnson, and Marguerite Duras. Kushner takes us on a journey through a Palestinian refugee camp, an illegal motorcycle race down the Baja Peninsula, 1970s wildcat strikes in Fiat factories, her love of classic cars, and her young life in the music scene of her hometown, San Francisco. The closing, eponymous essay is her manifesto on nostalgia, doom, and writing. These pieces, new and old, are electric, vivid, and wry, and they provide an opportunity to witness the evolution and range of one of our most dazzling and fearless writers. “Kushner writes with startling detail, imagination, and gallows humor,” said Leah Greenblatt in Entertainment Weekly, and, from Paula McLain in the Wall Street Journal: “The authority and precision of Kushner’s writing is impressive, but it’s the gorgeous ferocity that will stick with me.”

Beg, Steal & Borrow

Author : Robert Shore
Publisher : Laurence King Publishing
ISBN 13 : 9781780679464
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (794 download)

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Book Synopsis Beg, Steal & Borrow by : Robert Shore

Download or read book Beg, Steal & Borrow written by Robert Shore and published by Laurence King Publishing. This book was released on 2017-10-24 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Art is theft," Picasso once proclaimed, and much of the best and most "original" new art involves an act or two of unequivocal, overt theft. Paradoxically, the law relating to artistic borrowing has grown more restrictive. "The plagiarism and copyright trials of the twenty-first century are what the obscenity trials were to the twentieth century," Kenneth Goldsmith, has observed. "These are really the issues of our time." Beg, Steal and Borrow offers a comprehensive and provocative survey of a complex subject that is destined to grow in relevance and importance. It traces an artistic lineage of appropriation from Michelangelo to Jeff Koons, and examines the history of its legality from the sixteenth century to now.

Tears of a Tiger

Author : Sharon M. Draper
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1442489138
Total Pages : 25 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (424 download)

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Book Synopsis Tears of a Tiger by : Sharon M. Draper

Download or read book Tears of a Tiger written by Sharon M. Draper and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-07-23 with total page 25 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The death of high school basketball star Rob Washington in an automobile accident affects the lives of his close friend Andy, who was driving the car, and many others in the school.

Shatnerquake

Author : Jeff Burk
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781933929828
Total Pages : 83 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (298 download)

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Book Synopsis Shatnerquake by : Jeff Burk

Download or read book Shatnerquake written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 83 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.

The Advocate

Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 88 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

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Book Synopsis The Advocate by :

Download or read book The Advocate written by and published by . This book was released on 2004-09-14 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Advocate is a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) monthly newsmagazine. Established in 1967, it is the oldest continuing LGBT publication in the United States.

My American Harp

Author : Surazeus Astarius
Publisher : Lulu.com
ISBN 13 : 1365807142
Total Pages : 672 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (658 download)

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Book Synopsis My American Harp by : Surazeus Astarius

Download or read book My American Harp written by Surazeus Astarius and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2017-03-14 with total page 672 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "My American Harp" presents 1,169 poems written 2010-2014 by Surazeus that explore what it means to be an American in the modern world of an interconnected global civilization.