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The Mammoth Book Of One Liners
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Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Humor by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Humor written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Running Press. This book was released on 2000-09-12 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More than 10,000 stories and jokes, limericks and one-liners, put-downs and puns in the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From boners and groaners to classic shaggy-dog stories and jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct but always devilishly diverting collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, newspaper misprints, misleading headlines ("MAGISTRATES MAY ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS"), limericks, puns, and the darnedest things said by kids ("a fjord is a Scandinavian car") also appear among the volume's ten thousand entries, which are arranged by category and fully indexed by subject. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speech-makers for events great and small. So it is that The Mammoth Book of Humor meets the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. The volume even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines-at the same time that it provides some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey. Waggish, witty, wisecracking, or whimsical, the humor is as various as it is vigorous on every page of this endlessly entertaining collection.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour by : Michael Powell
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour written by Michael Powell and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2010-10-14 with total page 576 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Best Crime Comics by : Paul Gravett
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Best Crime Comics written by Paul Gravett and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 2008-08-12 with total page 510 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mammoth Books: From history to manga, true crime to sci-fi, these anthologies feature top-name contributors and award-winning editors.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of the Funniest Cartoons of All Time by : Geoff Tibbals
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of the Funniest Cartoons of All Time written by Geoff Tibbals and published by Running PressBook Pub. This book was released on 2006 with total page 520 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compendium of 450 top-selected cartoons from around the world includes pieces by such artists as Peter Arno, Posy Simmonds, and Charles Addams and is thematically arranged under such headings as Sport, Sex, and the Long Arm of the Law, in a volume complemented by brief artist biographies. Original.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance by : Trisha Telep
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance written by Trisha Telep and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2009-06-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Paranormal romance is a supernatural force to be reckoned with. Although packed with a menagerie of werewolves, shapeshifters and assorted demons, its undisputed king is none other than our favourite centuries-old bloodsucker - the vampire. We're now living in a post-Buffy world of dark urban fantasy à la Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Sherrilyn Kenyon's irresistible Dark Hunters and the blood-lusting soul mates of Christine Feehan. But it doesn't stop there. This Mammoth collection opens a vein to reveal the mind-boggling scope of the supercharged phenomenon created when vampires met romance. Let the biggest and brightest names in the paranormal romance business take you hot on the haemoglobin trail of the sexiest creatures of the night. Witness the bewildering array of complex vampire codes of conduct, dark ritual and dating practices, as they chat up the locals and engage in the most erotic encounters you will sink your teeth into this side of un-Death. These ain't your mother's vampires!
Book Synopsis Milton Berle's Private Joke File by : Milton Berle
Download or read book Milton Berle's Private Joke File written by Milton Berle and published by Crown. This book was released on 1992-01-28 with total page 674 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes ("The most comprehensive storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world"--Los Angeles Magazine) to present the most astounding array of one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags ever published. Line drawings.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2011-09-22 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
Book Synopsis Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Constable. This book was released on 2005-10-13 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Mammoth Book of Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes is the ultimate collection of X-rated and decidedly politically incorrect jokes - an indispensable guide to the funny, the fearless and the filthy. Be warned, the contents of this spanking new bumper book are not for the faint-hearted. Even a blonde would blush ...if she got any of them.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Angels and Demons by : Paula Guran
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Angels and Demons written by Paula Guran and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 2013-07-30 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Twenty-seven fantasy tales from Neil Gaiman to George R. R. Martin, plus many more, are collected in this anthology of speculative fiction. The renowned storytellers assembled here will challenge our concept of good and evil and provide us with new ways of seeing right and wrong: even angels can fall and demons will strive for redemption.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Comic Crime by : Maxim Jakubowski
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Comic Crime written by Maxim Jakubowski and published by Running PressBook Pub. This book was released on 2002 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An entertaining assortment of comic mysteries and whodunits captures the zany misadventures and mishaps of bungling burglas, not-so-wise guys, and hit-or-miss assassins in works by Donald E. Westlake, Terry Pratchet, Ed Gorman, Bill Pronzini, Sarah Caudwell, Peter Lovesey, and other notable authors. Original.
Book Synopsis New Sherlock Holmes Adventures by : Packages
Download or read book New Sherlock Holmes Adventures written by Packages and published by Packages. This book was released on 2000-05-24 with total page 548 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After Arthur Conan Doyle created the detective, Sherlock Holmes, many writers borrowed him to be the hero of their stories. The anthology offers a selection, old and new.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Cthulhu by : Paula Guran
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Cthulhu written by Paula Guran and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2016-04-14 with total page 496 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For more than 80 years H. P. Lovecraft has inspired writers of horror and supernatural fiction with his dark vision of humankind's insignificant place in a vast, uncaring cosmos. At the time of his death in 1937, Lovecraft was virtually unknown, but from early cult status his readership expanded exponentially; his nightmarish visions laying down roots in the collective imagination of his readers. Now this master of the macabre is accepted as part of the literary mainstream, as an American author of note, and the impact of his work on modern popular culture - in literature, film, television, music, the graphic arts, gaming and theatre - has been profound. As Stephen King wrote in Danse Macabre, the shadow of H. P. Lovecraft 'underlies almost all of the important horror fiction that has come since.' Today, Lovecraft's themes of cosmic indifference, the utter insignificance of humankind, minds invaded by the alien, and the horrors of history remain not only viable motifs for modern speculative fiction, but are more relevant than ever as we explore the mysteries of a universe in which our planet is infinitesimal. This outstanding anthology of original stories - from both established award-winning authors and exciting new voices - collects tales of cosmic horror inspired by Lovecraft from authors who do not merely imitate, but reimagine, re-energize, and renew the best of his concepts in ways relevant to today's readers, to create fresh new fiction that explores our modern fears and nightmares. From the depths of R'lyeh to the heights of the Mountains of Madness, some of today's best weird fiction writers traverse terrain created by Lovecraft and create new eldritch geographies to explore . . . With stories by: Laird Barron, Nadia Bulkin, Amanda Downum, Ruthanna Emrys, Richard Gavin, Lois H. Gresh, Lisa L. Hannett, Brian Hodge, Caitlín R. Kiernan, John Langan, Yoon Ha Lee, Usman T. Malik, Helen Marshall, Silvia Moreno, Norman Partridge, W. H. Pugmire, Veronica Schanoes, Michael Shea, John Shirley, Simon Strantzas, Sandra McDonald, Damien Angelica Walters, Don Webb, Michael Wehunt and A.C. Wise Praise for the editor: 'For fans of Lovecraftian fiction and well-wrought horror' - Library Journal 'Guran smartly selects stories that evoke the spirit of Lovecraft's work without mimicking its style.' - Publishers Weekly 'It's a pretty impressive line-up, with nary a clunker to be found. . . . You don't have to be a Lovecraft fan to enjoy this anthology... You'll find alienation, inhumanity, desperation, cruelty, insanity, hopelessness and despair, all set against the backdrop of a vast, unknowable universe filled with vile, indifferent monstrosities. You'll also find beauty, hope, redemption, and the struggle for survival. What more can you ask for?' - Tor.com 'I highly recommend this collection... If you have even the slightest interest in contemporary horror fiction, you'll want to try this one on for size!' - BookGuide
Book Synopsis The Book of Witty One-Liners by : Manhardeep Singh
Download or read book The Book of Witty One-Liners written by Manhardeep Singh and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2020-07-23 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Would you like to be the smartest person in the room? These 1000 one-liners will make you the wittiest one people have ever met. The Book of Witty One-liners can: * Help you break the ice in any situation * Make you look the sharpest * Project you as the funniest * Attract people through your continuous one-liners * Give you a happy time reading them The Book of Witty One-liners is the p(h)unniest, wittiest, and the most hilarious compilation of one-liners that is sure to get your gut-busting. If you like to laugh your way to hilarity, have endless one-liners up your sleeve, then you'll love Manhardeep Singh's one-liners book. Buy The Book of Witty One-liners and have a hearty laugh!
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes by : E. Henry Thripshaw
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes written by E. Henry Thripshaw and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 571 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told. More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking. From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these: My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream. Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter. What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm. How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass. I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead. Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Running Press. This book was released on 2004-11-01 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners contains the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From shaggy-dog stories to jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct—but always diverting—collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, limericks, and puns also appear among the volume's thousands of entries categorized by topic. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speechmakers for events great and small—meeting the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. Providing more than 10,000 choices, this mammoth book even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines—at the same time that it offers some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey.
Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of Limericks by : Glyn Rees
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Limericks written by Glyn Rees and published by Running Press. This book was released on 2008-10-28 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the best-ever collection of those catchy Irish rhymes – from squeaky-clean to the moderately filthy. With over 2,000 silly, political, modern, classic, and more to choose from, there is bound to be a limerick to get you giggling. This giant collection includes Irish classics called out in corner pubs for decades as well as many new verses specifically created to be read here. Creators include Spike Milligan, Mark Twain, Michael Palin, Lewis Carroll, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, W.H. Auden, and many, many more.
