The Funniest Things Ever Said New And Expanded

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The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded

Author : Steven D. Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1493041207
Total Pages : 343 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (93 download)

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Book Synopsis The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded by : Steven D. Price

Download or read book The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded written by Steven D. Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2019-08-29 with total page 343 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher

The Smartest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded

Author : Steven D. Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1493026291
Total Pages : 393 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (93 download)

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Book Synopsis The Smartest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded by : Steven D. Price

Download or read book The Smartest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded written by Steven D. Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2017-04-03 with total page 393 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Smartest Things Ever Said is a compendium of human wisdom culled from the world’s most celebrated—and sometimes anonymous—minds. From Confucius and Shakespeare to Maya Angelou and Woody Allen, and from Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison to Jeff Bezos and Jane Fonda, it is quite simply the best collection of the smartest quotes ever.

Funniest Things Ever Said New

Author : Steven Price
Publisher : 1001
ISBN 13 : 9781493041190
Total Pages : 344 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (411 download)

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Book Synopsis Funniest Things Ever Said New by : Steven Price

Download or read book Funniest Things Ever Said New written by Steven Price and published by 1001. This book was released on 2019 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of the greatest witticisms from the world of politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can get a good laugh Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,001 funniest things ever said: "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"--Christina Aguilera "Fame means when your computer modem is broken, the repair guy comes out to your house a little faster." --Sandra Bullock "Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his." --Ronald Reagan

The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said

Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451648901
Total Pages : 674 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

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Book Synopsis The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said by :

Download or read book The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-05 with total page 674 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A latest collection of quotes features entries that are thematically arranged to provide narrative readings, in a volume that celebrates the lighter side of such topics as courtship, lawyers, and aging.

The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2

Author :
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0091924510
Total Pages : 578 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (919 download)

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Book Synopsis The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 by :

Download or read book The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 written by and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "From Samuel Johnson's 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American', to Richard Nixon's classic, 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people', the 6000 hilarious quotations in this title are certain to have anyone with a sense of humour rolling on the floor. Spanning every topic, from religion and celebrities to politics and love, this gem of a book includes classic wise-cracks (and not-so-wise-words) from the likes of Oscar Wilde, Steve Martin, Homer Simpson and Karl Marx, as well as hundreds of fresh funnies!"--Publisher's description.

The Dumbest Things Ever Said

Author : Steven D. Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1493029436
Total Pages : 353 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (93 download)

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Book Synopsis The Dumbest Things Ever Said by : Steven D. Price

Download or read book The Dumbest Things Ever Said written by Steven D. Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2017-09-01 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

One More Thing

Author : B. J. Novak
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0385351844
Total Pages : 251 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (853 download)

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Book Synopsis One More Thing by : B. J. Novak

Download or read book One More Thing written by B. J. Novak and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2014-02-04 with total page 251 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times Bestseller A startlingly original debut from the actor, writer, director, and executive producer hailed as “a gifted observer of the human condition and a very funny writer capable of winning that rare thing: unselfconscious, insuppressible laughter” (The Washington Post). A boy wins a $100,000 prize in a box of Frosted Flakes—only to discover that claiming the winnings might unravel his family. A woman sets out to seduce motivational speaker Tony Robbins—turning for help to the famed motivator himself. A new arrival in Heaven, overwhelmed with options, procrastinates over a long-ago promise to visit his grandmother. We meet Sophia, the first artificially intelligent being capable of love, who falls for a man who might not be ready for it himself; a vengeance-minded hare, obsessed with scoring a rematch against the tortoise who ruined his life; and post-college friends who try to figure out how to host an intervention in the era of Facebook. Along the way, we learn why wearing a red T-shirt every day is the key to finding love, how February got its name, and why the stock market is sometimes just . . . down. Finding inspiration in questions from the nature of perfection to the icing on carrot cake, One More Thing has at its heart the most human of phenomena: love, fear, hope, ambition, and the inner stirring for the one elusive element just that might make a person complete. Across a dazzling range of subjects, themes, tones, and narrative voices, the many pieces in this collection are like nothing else, but they have one thing in common: they share the playful humor, deep heart, sharp eye, inquisitive mind, and altogether electrifying spirit of a writer with a fierce devotion to the entertainment of the reader.

1001 Insults, Put-Downs, & Comebacks

Author : Steven D. Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1599216566
Total Pages : 361 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (992 download)

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Book Synopsis 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, & Comebacks by : Steven D. Price

Download or read book 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, & Comebacks written by Steven D. Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 361 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”—Groucho Marx An insult can be offensive and infuriating, but it means nothing if you have a better comeback. 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources, with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others.

Everything Sad Is Untrue

Author : Daniel Nayeri
Publisher : Chronicle Books
ISBN 13 : 1646140028
Total Pages : 372 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (461 download)

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Book Synopsis Everything Sad Is Untrue by : Daniel Nayeri

Download or read book Everything Sad Is Untrue written by Daniel Nayeri and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2020-08-25 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A National Indie Bestseller An NPR Best Book of the Year A New York Times Best Book of the Year An Amazon Best Book of the Year A Booklist Editors' Choice A BookPage Best Book of the Year A NECBA Windows & Mirrors Selection A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year A Wall Street Journal Best Book of the Year A Today.com Best of the Year PRAISE "A modern masterpiece." —The New York Times Book Review "Supple, sparkling and original." —The Wall Street Journal "Mesmerizing." —TODAY.com "This book could change the world." —BookPage "Like nothing else you've read or ever will read." —Linda Sue Park "It hooks you right from the opening line." —NPR SEVEN STARRED REVIEWS ★ "A modern epic." —Kirkus Reviews, starred review ★ "A rare treasure of a book." —Publishers Weekly, starred review ★ "A story that soars." —The Bulletin, starred review ★ "At once beautiful and painful." —School Library Journal, starred review ★ "Raises the literary bar in children's lit." —Booklist, starred review ★ "Poignant and powerful." —Foreword Reviews, starred review ★ "One of the most extraordinary books of the year." —BookPage, starred review A sprawling, evocative, and groundbreaking autobiographical novel told in the unforgettable and hilarious voice of a young Iranian refugee. It is a powerfully layered novel that poses the questions: Who owns the truth? Who speaks it? Who believes it? "A patchwork story is the shame of the refugee," Nayeri writes early in the novel. In an Oklahoman middle school, Khosrou (whom everyone calls Daniel) stands in front of a skeptical audience of classmates, telling the tales of his family's history, stretching back years, decades, and centuries. At the core is Daniel's story of how they became refugees—starting with his mother's vocal embrace of Christianity in a country that made such a thing a capital offense, and continuing through their midnight flight from the secret police, bribing their way onto a plane-to-anywhere. Anywhere becomes the sad, cement refugee camps of Italy, and then finally asylum in the U.S. Implementing a distinct literary style and challenging western narrative structures, Nayeri deftly weaves through stories of the long and beautiful history of his family in Iran, adding a richness of ancient tales and Persian folklore. Like Scheherazade of One Thousand and One Nights in a hostile classroom, Daniel spins a tale to save his own life: to stake his claim to the truth. EVERYTHING SAD IS UNTRUE (a true story) is a tale of heartbreak and resilience and urges readers to speak their truth and be heard.

Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin

Author : Calvin Trillin
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0679604804
Total Pages : 345 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (796 download)

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Book Synopsis Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin by : Calvin Trillin

Download or read book Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin written by Calvin Trillin and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-09-13 with total page 345 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For at least forty years, Calvin Trillin has committed blatant acts of funniness all over the place—in The New Yorker, in one-man off-Broadway shows, in his “deadline poetry” for The Nation, in comic novels like Tepper Isn’t Going Out, in books chronicling his adventures as a happy eater, and in the column USA Today called “simply the funniest regular column in journalism.” Now Trillin selects the best of his funny stuff and organizes it into topics like high finance (“My long-term investment strategy has been criticized as being entirely too dependent on Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes”) and the literary life (“The average shelf life of a book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.”) In Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin, the author deals with such subjects as the horrors of witnessing a voodoo economics ceremony and the mystery of how his mother managed for thirty years to feed her family nothing but leftovers (“We have a team of anthropologists in there now looking for the original meal”) and the true story behind the Shoe Bomber: “The one terrorist in England with a sense of humor, a man known as Khalid the Droll, had said to the cell, ‘I bet I can get them all to take off their shoes in airports.’ ” He remembers Sarah Palin with a poem called “On a Clear Day, I See Vladivostok” and John Edwards with one called “Yes, I Know He’s a Mill Worker’s Son, but There’s Hollywood in That Hair.” In this, the definitive collection of his humor, Calvin Trillin is prescient, insightful, and invariably hilarious.

I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This!

Author : Bob Newhart
Publisher : Hachette Books
ISBN 13 : 1401385990
Total Pages : 216 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (13 download)

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Book Synopsis I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This! by : Bob Newhart

Download or read book I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This! written by Bob Newhart and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2006-09-19 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first book ever from an icon of American comedy -- a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite -- have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor -- including excerpts from some of his classic routines -- on the printed page.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cooperstown

Author : Mickey McDermott
Publisher : Triumph Books
ISBN 13 : 1623681537
Total Pages : 265 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (236 download)

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Book Synopsis A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cooperstown by : Mickey McDermott

Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cooperstown written by Mickey McDermott and published by Triumph Books. This book was released on 2003-04 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A memoir by the 1940s pitching sensation looks back at a career playing for thirteen teams in four countries from the 1940s to the 1960s.

Men Explain Things to Me

Author : Rebecca Solnit
Publisher : Haymarket Books
ISBN 13 : 1608464571
Total Pages : 145 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (84 download)

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Book Synopsis Men Explain Things to Me by : Rebecca Solnit

Download or read book Men Explain Things to Me written by Rebecca Solnit and published by Haymarket Books. This book was released on 2014-04-14 with total page 145 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The National Book Critics Circle Award–winning author delivers a collection of essays that serve as the perfect “antidote to mansplaining” (The Stranger). In her comic, scathing essay “Men Explain Things to Me,” Rebecca Solnit took on what often goes wrong in conversations between men and women. She wrote about men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don’t, about why this arises, and how this aspect of the gender wars works, airing some of her own hilariously awful encounters. She ends on a serious note— because the ultimate problem is the silencing of women who have something to say, including those saying things like, “He’s trying to kill me!” This book features that now-classic essay with six perfect complements, including an examination of the great feminist writer Virginia Woolf’s embrace of mystery, of not knowing, of doubt and ambiguity, a highly original inquiry into marriage equality, and a terrifying survey of the scope of contemporary violence against women. “In this series of personal but unsentimental essays, Solnit gives succinct shorthand to a familiar female experience that before had gone unarticulated, perhaps even unrecognized.” —The New York Times “Essential feminist reading.” —The New Republic “This slim book hums with power and wit.” —Boston Globe “Solnit tackles big themes of gender and power in these accessible essays. Honest and full of wit, this is an integral read that furthers the conversation on feminism and contemporary society.” —San Francisco Chronicle “Essential.” —Marketplace “Feminist, frequently funny, unflinchingly honest and often scathing in its conclusions.” —Salon

The Book of Unusual Knowledge

Author : Ltd Publications International
Publisher : Publications International, Limited
ISBN 13 : 9781450845809
Total Pages : 704 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (458 download)

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Book Synopsis The Book of Unusual Knowledge by : Ltd Publications International

Download or read book The Book of Unusual Knowledge written by Ltd Publications International and published by Publications International, Limited. This book was released on 2012-03 with total page 704 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Book of Unusual Knowledge is a mammoth 704-page hardcover book crammed with a cornucopia of information--some useful, others not so much--but all of it completely captivating. It's perfect for anyone with a curious mind and a passion for learning. With quirky illustrations and a vast array of articles, anecdotes, lists, and games, this book will provide hours of fascinating reading. It will also expand your knowledge on a range of topics, including the animal kingdom, art, sports, technology, history, politics, the universe, and much, much more. Sample topics include: * Are plastic bags killing sacred cows in India? * Does NASCAR have roots in bootlegging moonshine? * Did Ronald Reagan see not one--but two--UFOs during his lifetime? Gorgeous leatherette binding with gilded accents makes The Book of Unusual Knowledge a handsome addition to your library.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future

Author : Michael J. Fox
Publisher : Hachette Books
ISBN 13 : 1401395082
Total Pages : 71 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (13 download)

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Book Synopsis A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future by : Michael J. Fox

Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future written by Michael J. Fox and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2010-04-13 with total page 71 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Michael J. Fox abandoned high school to pursue an acting career, but went on to receive honorary degrees from several universities and garner the highest accolades for his acting, as well as for his writing. In his new book, he inspires and motivates graduates to recognize opportunities, maximize their abilities, and roll with the punches--all with his trademark optimism, warmth, and humor. In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future, Michael draws on his own life experiences to make a case that real learning happens when "life goes skidding sideways." He writes of coming to Los Angeles from Canada at age eighteen and attempting to make his way as an actor. Fox offers up a comically skewed take on how, in his own way, he fulfilled the requirements of a college syllabus. He learned Economics as a starving artist; an unexpected turn as a neophyte activist schooled him in Political Science; and his approach to Comparative Literature involved stacking books up against their movie versions. Replete with personal stories and hilarious anecdotes, Michael J. Fox's new book is the perfect gift for graduates.

The Funny Thing Is . . .

Author : Ellen DeGeneres
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 0743253663
Total Pages : 191 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (432 download)

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Book Synopsis The Funny Thing Is . . . by : Ellen DeGeneres

Download or read book The Funny Thing Is . . . written by Ellen DeGeneres and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2003-10-28 with total page 191 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read—or wants to fool people into thinking they do—The Funny Thing Is... is sure to make you laugh. Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life—from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.

Totally Scripted

Author : Josh Chetwynd
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1630762830
Total Pages : 233 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (37 download)

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Book Synopsis Totally Scripted by : Josh Chetwynd

Download or read book Totally Scripted written by Josh Chetwynd and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2017-02-01 with total page 233 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The language of Hollywood resonates beyond the stage and screen because it often has inherent drama—or comedic effect. This volume contains a combination of approximately 100 expertly researched essays on words, phrases and idioms made famous by Hollywood along with the stories behind 30 or so of the most iconic—and ultimately often used—quotes from films. There are also sidebars that focus on other ways the entertainment world has changed language. For instance, stories behind stars whose names have been used for drinks (hello, Shirley Temple) or roses (there are ones named after Elizabeth Taylor and Judy Garland, among others). And, a sidebar on William Shakespeare’s unique contribution to the English language.