The Chapped Ass Critic Epub

Download The Chapped Ass Critic Epub full books in PDF, epub, and Kindle. Read online The Chapped Ass Critic Epub ebook anywhere anytime directly on your device. Fast Download speed and no annoying ads. We cannot guarantee that every ebooks is available!

The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

Author : Donald Rump
Publisher : Donald Rump
ISBN 13 : 1624544835
Total Pages : 26 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (245 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB) by : Donald Rump

Download or read book The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.

20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB)

Author : Donald Rump
Publisher : Donald Rump
ISBN 13 : 1624544983
Total Pages : 60 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (245 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis 20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) by : Donald Rump

Download or read book 20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-12-13 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.

Bottling Farts (EPUB)

Author : Donald Rump
Publisher : Donald Rump
ISBN 13 : 1624544827
Total Pages : 30 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (245 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Bottling Farts (EPUB) by : Donald Rump

Download or read book Bottling Farts (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.

Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB)

Author : Donald Rump
Publisher : Donald Rump
ISBN 13 : 1624544975
Total Pages : 32 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (245 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB) by : Donald Rump

Download or read book Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-11-24 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Author : Donald Rump
Publisher : Donald Rump
ISBN 13 : 1533731373
Total Pages : 25 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (337 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub) by : Donald Rump

Download or read book Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub) written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-07-02 with total page 25 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.

The Deal

Author : Elle Kennedy
Publisher : Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN 13 : 9781537356037
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (56 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis The Deal by : Elle Kennedy

Download or read book The Deal written by Elle Kennedy and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-09-25 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: She's about to make a deal with the college bad boy... Hannah Wells has finally found someone who turns her on. But while she might be confident in every other area of her life, she's carting around a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. If she wants to get her crush's attention, she'll have to step out of her comfort zone and make him take notice...even if it means tutoring the annoying, childish, cocky captain of the hockey team in exchange for a pretend date. ...and it's going to be oh so good All Garrett Graham has ever wanted is to play professional hockey after graduation, but his plummeting GPA is threatening everything he's worked so hard for. If helping a sarcastic brunette make another guy jealous will help him secure his position on the team, he's all for it. But when one unexpected kiss leads to the wildest sex of both their lives, it doesn't take long for Garrett to realize that pretend isn't going to cut it. Now he just has to convince Hannah that the man she wants looks a lot like him.

Empire of the Summer Moon

Author : S. C. Gwynne
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416597158
Total Pages : 394 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Empire of the Summer Moon by : S. C. Gwynne

Download or read book Empire of the Summer Moon written by S. C. Gwynne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-05-25 with total page 394 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: *Finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award* *A New York Times Notable Book* *Winner of the Texas Book Award and the Oklahoma Book Award* This New York Times bestseller and stunning historical account of the forty-year battle between Comanche Indians and white settlers for control of the American West “is nothing short of a revelation…will leave dust and blood on your jeans” (The New York Times Book Review). Empire of the Summer Moon spans two astonishing stories. The first traces the rise and fall of the Comanches, the most powerful Indian tribe in American history. The second entails one of the most remarkable narratives ever to come out of the Old West: the epic saga of the pioneer woman Cynthia Ann Parker and her mixed-blood son Quanah, who became the last and greatest chief of the Comanches. Although readers may be more familiar with the tribal names Apache and Sioux, it was in fact the legendary fighting ability of the Comanches that determined when the American West opened up. Comanche boys became adept bareback riders by age six; full Comanche braves were considered the best horsemen who ever rode. They were so masterful at war and so skillful with their arrows and lances that they stopped the northern drive of colonial Spain from Mexico and halted the French expansion westward from Louisiana. White settlers arriving in Texas from the eastern United States were surprised to find the frontier being rolled backward by Comanches incensed by the invasion of their tribal lands. The war with the Comanches lasted four decades, in effect holding up the development of the new American nation. Gwynne’s exhilarating account delivers a sweeping narrative that encompasses Spanish colonialism, the Civil War, the destruction of the buffalo herds, and the arrival of the railroads, and the amazing story of Cynthia Ann Parker and her son Quanah—a historical feast for anyone interested in how the United States came into being. Hailed by critics, S. C. Gwynne’s account of these events is meticulously researched, intellectually provocative, and, above all, thrillingly told. Empire of the Summer Moon announces him as a major new writer of American history.

The Recognitions

Author : William Gaddis
Publisher : New York Review of Books
ISBN 13 : 1681374676
Total Pages : 969 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (813 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis The Recognitions by : William Gaddis

Download or read book The Recognitions written by William Gaddis and published by New York Review of Books. This book was released on 2020-11-24 with total page 969 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A postmodern masterpiece about fraud and forgery by one of the most distinctive, accomplished novelists of the last century. The Recognitions is a sweeping depiction of a world in which everything that anyone recognizes as beautiful or true or good emerges as anything but: our world. The book is a masquerade, moving from New England to New York to Madrid, from the art world to the underworld, but it centers on the story of Wyatt Gwyon, the son of a New England minister, who forsakes religion to devote himself to painting, only to despair of his inspiration. In expiation, he will paint nothing but flawless copies of his revered old masters—copies, however, that find their way into the hands of a sinister financial wizard by the name of Recktall Brown, who of course sells them as the real thing. Dismissed uncomprehendingly by reviewers on publication in 1955 and ignored by the literary world for decades after, The Recognitions is now established as one of the great American novels, immensely ambitious and entirely unique, a book of wild, Boschian inspiration and outrageous comedy that is also profoundly serious and sad.

Candide

Author : Voltaire Voltaire
Publisher : Xist Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1681959526
Total Pages : 136 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (819 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Candide by : Voltaire Voltaire

Download or read book Candide written by Voltaire Voltaire and published by Xist Publishing. This book was released on 2016-04-02 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Candide by Voltaire from Coterie Classics All Coterie Classics have been formatted for ereaders and devices and include a bonus link to the free audio book. “Do you believe,' said Candide, 'that men have always massacred each other as they do to-day, that they have always been liars, cheats, traitors, ingrates, brigands, idiots, thieves, scoundrels, gluttons, drunkards, misers, envious, ambitious, bloody-minded, calumniators, debauchees, fanatics, hypocrites, and fools?' Do you believe,' said Martin, 'that hawks have always eaten pigeons when they have found them?” ― Voltaire, Candide Candide is a young man who is raised in wealth to be an optimist but when he is forced to make his own way in the world, his assumptions and outlook are challenged.

Cracked

Author : Eliza Crewe
Publisher : Eliza Crewe
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 272 pages
Book Rating : 4./5 ( download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Cracked by : Eliza Crewe

Download or read book Cracked written by Eliza Crewe and published by Eliza Crewe. This book was released on 2013 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Meda. She eats people. Well, technically, she eats their soul. But she totally promises to only go for people who deserve it. She’s special. It’s not her fault she enjoys it. She can’t help being a bad guy. Besides, what else can she do? Her mother was killed and it’s not like there are any other “soul-eaters” around to show her how to be different. That is, until the three men in suits show up. They can do what she can do. They’re like her. Meda might finally have a chance to figure out what she is. The problem? They kind of want to kill her. Before they get the chance Meda is rescued by Crusaders, members of an elite group dedicated to wiping out Meda’s kind. This is her chance! Play along with the “good guys” and she’ll finally figure out what, exactly, her “kind” is. Be careful what you wish for. Playing capture the flag with her mortal enemies, babysitting a teenage boy with a hero complex, and trying to keep one step ahead of a too-clever girl are bad enough. But the Hunger is gaining on her.

A Deadly Education

Author : Naomi Novik
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 0593128494
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (931 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis A Deadly Education by : Naomi Novik

Download or read book A Deadly Education written by Naomi Novik and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2020-09-29 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of Uprooted and Spinning Silver comes the first book of the Scholomance trilogy, the story of an unwilling dark sorceress who is destined to rewrite the rules of magic. FINALIST FOR THE LODESTAR AWARD • “The dark school of magic I’ve been waiting for.”—Katherine Arden, author of the Winternight Trilogy I decided that Orion Lake needed to die after the second time he saved my life. Everyone loves Orion Lake. Everyone else, that is. Far as I’m concerned, he can keep his flashy combat magic to himself. I’m not joining his pack of adoring fans. I don’t need help surviving the Scholomance, even if they do. Forget the hordes of monsters and cursed artifacts, I’m probably the most dangerous thing in the place. Just give me a chance and I’ll level mountains and kill untold millions, make myself the dark queen of the world. At least, that’s what the world expects. Most of the other students in here would be delighted if Orion killed me like one more evil thing that’s crawled out of the drains. Sometimes I think they want me to turn into the evil witch they assume I am. The school certainly does. But the Scholomance isn’t getting what it wants from me. And neither is Orion Lake. I may not be anyone’s idea of the shining hero, but I’m going to make it out of this place alive, and I’m not going to slaughter thousands to do it, either. Although I’m giving serious consideration to just one. With flawless mastery, Naomi Novik creates a school bursting with magic like you’ve never seen before, and a heroine for the ages—a character so sharply realized and so richly nuanced that she will live on in hearts and minds for generations to come. The magic of the Scholomance trilogy continues in The Last Graduate “The can’t-miss fantasy of fall 2020, a brutal coming-of-power story steeped in the aesthetics of dark academia. . . . A Deadly Education will cement Naomi Novik’s place as one of the greatest and most versatile fantasy writers of our time.”—BookPage (starred review) “A must-read . . . Novik puts a refreshingly dark, adult spin on the magical boarding school. . . . Readers will delight in the push-and-pull of El and Orion’s relationship, the fantastically detailed world, the clever magic system, and the matter-of-fact diversity of the student body.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

A Stolen Life

Author : Jaycee Dugard
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451629192
Total Pages : 293 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (516 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis A Stolen Life by : Jaycee Dugard

Download or read book A Stolen Life written by Jaycee Dugard and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-07-03 with total page 293 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A revelatory memoir about a young woman whose life was stolen when she was kidnapped in 1991 and remained an object of captivity for 18 years.

Household Gods

Author : Judith Tarr
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780812564662
Total Pages : 676 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (646 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Household Gods by : Judith Tarr

Download or read book Household Gods written by Judith Tarr and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2000-07-15 with total page 676 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When a troubled housewife awakens one morning as a tavernkeeper in the Roman frontier town of Carnuntum around 170 A.D., she must face plague and war in order to survive and prosper in her new life.

Unravel

Author : Calia Read
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 1495300978
Total Pages : 338 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (953 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Unravel by : Calia Read

Download or read book Unravel written by Calia Read and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-02-15 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Calia Read breaks the mold in this explosive novel that grabs hold and doesn’t let go until the shocking truth is revealed. One kiss can change everything. One month ago I was admitted to a psych ward. Yesterday, Lachlan told me I’m losing my mind. But I know what I saw. Will you believe me? Behind the walls of a mental hospital, Naomi Carradine feels her world breaking to pieces. She’s starting to believe all the voices questioning her sanity. Only visitors from the outside world keep her tethered to reality. But deep in her thoughts, Naomi is haunted by memories of a golden summer that twisted into a waking nightmare of obsessive love and fractured truths. Just home from college, Naomi moves in with her best friend, Lana, the daughter of a Virginia senator. At a lavish party thrown by Lana’s father, Naomi meets a sexy stockbroker named Max and finds herself unable to resist his charms. One fiery kiss and she’s going back for more, beginning a terrifying descent. Having witnessed the unspeakable, Naomi has only one hope of escape: unraveling the devastating secrets of her past. Unravel is intended for mature audiences. Praise for Unravel “A sexy, mysterious, and enthralling story . . . Calia Read’s words are so captivating, they’ll hold you hostage and throw you into loops you’ll never see coming.”—Claire Contreras, author of There Is No Light in Darkness

Dragon Bound

Author : Thea Harrison
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1101514396
Total Pages : 338 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (15 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Dragon Bound by : Thea Harrison

Download or read book Dragon Bound written by Thea Harrison and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-05-03 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE FIRST NOVEL IN THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING ELDER RACES SERIES! Half-human and half-wyr, Pia Giovanni spent her life keeping a low profile among the wyrkind and avoiding the continuing conflict between them and their Dark Fae enemies. But after being blackmailed into stealing a coin from the hoard of a dragon, Pia finds herself targeted by one of the most powerful—and passionate—of the Elder races. As the most feared and respected of the wyrkind, Dragos Cuelebre cannot believe someone had the audacity to steal from him, much less succeed. And when he catches the thief, Dragos spares her life, claiming her as his own to further explore the desire they’ve ignited in each other. Pia knows she must repay Dragos for her trespass, but refuses to become his slave—although she cannot deny wanting him, body and soul...

Kettlebell: A Simple Guide to Learn Kettlebell Exercises (The Ultimate Kettlebell Workouts for a Shredded Body)

Author : Bobbie Wright
Publisher : Bobbie Wright
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 182 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (28 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis Kettlebell: A Simple Guide to Learn Kettlebell Exercises (The Ultimate Kettlebell Workouts for a Shredded Body) by : Bobbie Wright

Download or read book Kettlebell: A Simple Guide to Learn Kettlebell Exercises (The Ultimate Kettlebell Workouts for a Shredded Body) written by Bobbie Wright and published by Bobbie Wright. This book was released on 2022-01-13 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The great thing about the kettlebell is that it allows you to perform resistance cardio. This means you are using cardiovascular training that increases your heartrate and helps you to burn fat. At the same time though, you are also lifting weight, which protects your muscle from breakdown and increases the challenge, thereby increasing the amount of calories burned and the amount of effort involved. What you will learn in this guide: · The benefits of kettlebells · How to purchase the right kettlebell · How to make your own kettlebell cheaply · The top kettlebell exercises that give you the best results · Learn the best workouts that provide high intensity that will make you a kettlebell machine! Enter kettlebell training. In this book, you'll learn how it can help you get ripped and shredded and, more importantly, how to start with the right set of kettlebells, i.e., the right quality and weight. By the end of this short book, you'll be in a great position to start going for that ripped and shredded body you've always dreamed of using kettlebells. You have a great tool in your hands now. It's up to you if you'll use it to the hilt.

A Long Walk to Water

Author : Linda Sue Park
Publisher : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN 13 : 0547251270
Total Pages : 145 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (472 download)

DOWNLOAD NOW!

Book Synopsis A Long Walk to Water by : Linda Sue Park

Download or read book A Long Walk to Water written by Linda Sue Park and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2010 with total page 145 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When the Sudanese civil war reaches his village in 1985, 11-year-old Salva becomes separated from his family and must walk with other Dinka tribe members through southern Sudan, Ethiopia and Kenya in search of safe haven. Based on the life of Salva Dut, who, after emigrating to America in 1996, began a project to dig water wells in Sudan. By a Newbery Medal-winning author.