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The Best Anaheim Ducks Joke Book Ever
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Book Synopsis Tales of a First-Round Nothing by : Terry Ryan
Download or read book Tales of a First-Round Nothing written by Terry Ryan and published by ECW Press. This book was released on 2014-05-01 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Terry Ryan was poised to take the hockey world by storm when he was selected eighth overall by the Montreal Canadiens in the 1995 NHL draft, their highest draft pick in a decade. Expected to go on to become a hockey star, Ryan played a total of eight NHL games for the Canadiens, scoring no goals and no assists: not exactly the career he, or anyone else, was expecting. Though Terry's NHL career wasn't long, he experienced a lot and has no shortage of hilarious and fascinating revelations about life in pro hockey on and off the ice. In Tales of a First-Round Nothing, he recounts fighting with Tie Domi, partying with rock stars, and everything in between. Ryan tells it like it is, detailing his rocky relationship with Michel Therrien, head coach of the Canadiens, and explaining what life is like for a man who was unprepared to have his career over so soon.
Book Synopsis Duck, Duck, Goose: Read & Listen Edition by : Tad Hills
Download or read book Duck, Duck, Goose: Read & Listen Edition written by Tad Hills and published by Schwartz & Wade. This book was released on 2010-11-15 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Duck & Goose, Goose & Duck. Feathered friends forever . . . or are they? That's what we discover in this charming and hilarious follow-up to the bestselling Duck & Goose. You see, there's a challenge to their friendship: a little whippersnapper of a duck named Thistle. Thistle's good at everything (or so she thinks), from math to holding her breath to standing on her head. Duck thinks she's fantastic. But Goose does not! And so Goose is faced with a problem close to the hearts of children everywhere: what happens when your best friend makes a new friend? This ebook includes Read & Listen audio narration.
Download or read book The Rig written by Joe Ducie and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2015 with total page 319 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this action-packed fantastically-imagined thriller, fifteen-year-old Will Drake has made a career of breaking out from high-security prisons. His talents have landed him at the Rig, a specialist juvenile holding facility in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. No one can escape from the Rig. But Will Drake likes a challenge . . .
Download or read book Countdown written by Deborah Wiles and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2016-04-26 with total page 406 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The story of a formative year in 12-year-old Franny Chapman's life, and the life of a nation facing the threat of nuclear war. Franny Chapman just wants some peace. But that's hard to get when her best friend is feuding with her, her sister has disappeared, and her uncle is fighting an old war in his head. Her saintly younger brother is no help, and the cute boy across the street only complicates things. Worst of all, everyone is walking around just waiting for a bomb to fall. It's 1962, and it seems that the whole country is living in fear. When President Kennedy goes on television to say that Russia is sending nuclear missiles to Cuba, it only gets worse. Franny doesn't know how to deal with what's going on in the world -- no more than she knows how to deal with what's going on with her family and friends. But somehow she's got to make it through. Featuring a captivating story interspersed with footage from 1962, award-winning author Deborah Wiles has created a documentary novel that will put you right alongside Franny as she navigates a dangerous time in both her history and our history.
Download or read book The Publishers Weekly written by and published by . This book was released on 1999 with total page 854 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Taiko written by Eiji Yoshikawa and published by Vertical, Inc.. This book was released on 2012-08-03 with total page 944 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the tempestuous closing decades of the sixteenth century, the Empire of Japan writhes in chaos as the shogunate crumbles and rival warlords battle for supremacy. Warrior monks in their armed citadels block the road to the capital; castles are destroyed, villages plundered, fields put to the torch. Amid this devastation, three men dream of uniting the nation. At one extreme is the charismatic but brutal Nobunaga, whose ruthless ambition crushes all before him. At the opposite pole is the cold, deliberate Ieyasu, wise in counsel, brave in battle, mature beyond his years. But the keystone of this triumvirate is the most memorable of all, Hideyoshi, who rises from the menial post of sandal bearer to become Taiko--absolute ruler of Japan in the Emperor's name. When Nobunaga emerges from obscurity by destroying an army ten times the size of his own, he allies himself with Ieyasu, whose province is weak, but whose canniness and loyalty make him invaluable. Yet it is the scrawny, monkey-faced Hideyoshi--brash, impulsive, and utterly fearless--who becomes the unlikely savior of this ravaged land. Born the son of a farmer, he takes on the world with nothing but his bare hands and his wits, turning doubters into loyal servants, rivals into faithful friends, and enemies into allies. In all this he uses a piercing insight into human nature that unlocks castle gates, opens men's minds, and captures women's hearts. For Hideyoshi's passions are not limited to war and intrigue-his faithful wife, Nene, holds his love dear, even when she must share it; the chaste Oyu, sister of Hideyoshi's chief strategist, falls prey to his desires; and the seductive Chacha, whom he rescues from the fiery destruction of her father's castle, tempts his weakness. As recounted by Eiji Yoshikawa, author of the international best-seller Musashi, Taiko tells many stories: of the fury of Nobunaga and the fatal arrogance of the black-toothed Yoshimoto; of the pathetic downfall of the House of Takeda; how the scorned Mitsuhide betrayed his master; how once impregnable ramparts fell as their defenders died gloriously. Most of all, though, Taiko is the story of how one man transformed a nation through the force of his will and the depth of his humanity. Filled with scenes of pageantry and violence, acts of treachery and self-sacrifice, tenderness and savagery, Taiko combines the panoramic spectacle of a Kurosawa epic with a vivid evocation of feudal Japan.
Book Synopsis The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love by : Jill Conner Browne
Download or read book The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love written by Jill Conner Browne and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2004-11-30 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include: • The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding • The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times • Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly • What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment • The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article.
Download or read book Let Them Lead written by John U. Bacon and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-09-07 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An uplifting leadership book about a coach who helped transform the nation’s worst high school hockey team into one of the best. Bacon’s strategy is straightforward: set high expectations, make them accountable to each other, and inspire them all to lead their team. When John U. Bacon played for the Ann Arbor Huron High School River Rats, he never scored a goal. Yet somehow, years later he found himself leading his alma mater’s downtrodden program. How bad? The team hadn’t won a game in over a year, making them the nation’s worst squad—a fact they celebrated. With almost everyone expecting more failure, Bacon made it special to play for Huron by making it hard, which inspired the players to excel. Then he defied conventional wisdom again by putting the players in charge of team discipline, goal-setting, and even decision-making – and it worked. In just three seasons the River Rats bypassed 95-percent of the nation’s teams. A true story filled with unforgettable characters, stories, and lessons that apply to organizations everywhere, Let Them Lead includes the leader’s mistakes and the reactions of the players, who have since achieved great success as leaders themselves. Let Them Lead is a fast-paced, feel-good book that leaders of all kinds can embrace to motivate their teams to work harder, work together, and take responsibility for their own success.
Download or read book Crystal Force written by Joe Ducie and published by Hot Key Books. This book was released on 2015-04-02 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With enemies on all sides, who can Drake really trust? On the run after escaping from what was supposed to be the world's most secure juvenile facility (and blowing it up in the process), Will Drake knows it's only a matter of time before the sinister Alliance catches up with him. But Drake is in need of an alliance of his own - knowing who to trust is becoming increasingly difficult, and after having been exposed to the highly unstable (and potentially deadly) Crystal-X whilst fleeing from the Rig, it looks like time might be running out for him all together. His arm has started to mutate into an impenetrable black crystal, and although it gives him a superhuman-like ability to fight, it might also be causing him to lose his mind. Surrounded by enemies and desperate for help, Drake and his escapee comrades are forced to form an uneasy partnership with a mysterious group who also claim to have been exposed to Crystal-X. They say they know how to use its powers for good - but can Drake really keep running forever? And who should he trust more - his supposed friends, or the voices in his head...?
Download or read book In the Bin written by Lloyd Freeberg and published by Triumph Books. This book was released on 2001-09-01 with total page 231 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hockey is best known for its “bad boys,” those players who spend as much time on the ice swinging punches as they do swinging their sticks. Here is an inside look at the exciting, suspenseful, sometimes outrageous world of an NHL game—on the ice and in the “sin bin.”
Download or read book Planet Funny written by Ken Jennings and published by Scribner. This book was released on 2019-07-09 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year The witty and exuberant New York Times bestselling author and record-setting Jeopardy! champion Ken Jennings relays the history of humor in “lively, insightful, and crawling with goofy factlings,” (Maria Semple, author of Where’d You Go Bernadette)—from fart jokes on clay Sumerian tablets to the latest Twitter gags and Facebook memes. Where once society’s most coveted trait might have been strength or intelligence or honor, today, in a clear sign of evolution sliding off the trails, it is being funny. Yes, funniness. Consider: Super Bowl commercials don’t try to sell you anymore; they try to make you laugh. Airline safety tutorials—those terrifying laminated cards about the possibilities of fire, explosion, depressurization, and drowning—have been replaced by joke-filled videos with multimillion-dollar budgets and dance routines. Thanks to social media, we now have a whole Twitterverse of amateur comedians riffing around the world at all hours of the day—and many of them even get popular enough online to go pro and take over TV. In his “smartly structured, soundly argued, and yes—pretty darn funny” (Booklist, starred review) Planet Funny, Ken Jennings explores this brave new comedic world and what it means—or doesn’t—to be funny in it now. Tracing the evolution of humor from the caveman days to the bawdy middle-class antics of Chaucer to Monty Python’s game-changing silliness to the fast-paced meta-humor of The Simpsons, Jennings explains how we built our humor-saturated modern age, where lots of us get our news from comedy shows and a comic figure can even be elected President of the United States purely on showmanship. “Fascinating, entertaining and—I’m being dead serious here—important” (A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically), Planet Funny is a full taxonomy of what spawned and defines the modern sense of humor.
Book Synopsis Beowulf on the Beach by : Jack Murnighan
Download or read book Beowulf on the Beach written by Jack Murnighan and published by Crown. This book was released on 2009-05-19 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Feel bad about not reading or not enjoying the so-called great books? Don’t sweat it, it’s not your fault. Did anyone tell you that Anna Karenina is a beach read, that Dickens is hilarious, that the Iliad’s battle scenes rival Hollywood’s for gore, or that Joyce is at his best when he’s talking about booze, sex, or organ meats? Writer and professor Jack Murnighan says it’s time to give literature another look, but this time you’ll enjoy yourself. With a little help, you’ll see just how great the great books are: how they can make you laugh, moisten your eyes, turn you on, and leave you awestruck and deeply moved. Beowulf on the Beach is your field guide–erudite, witty, and fun-loving–for helping you read and relish fifty of the biggest (and most skipped) classics of all time. For each book, Murnighan reveals how to get the most out of your reading and provides a crib sheet that includes the Buzz, the Best Line, What’s Sexy, and What to Skip.
Download or read book Gabby written by Bruce Boudreau and published by Potomac Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2011 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bruce Boudreau is living a hockey Cinderella story. After more than three decades in the minor leagues as a player and coach, he was promoted to head coach of the Washington Capitals in 2007. Boudreau revived the Caps, written off as dead, to a division championship and received the Jack Adams award as the National Hockey League s Coach of the Year in June 2008. His story is an entertaining odyssey of triumph, disappointment, and perseverance, stretching from Toronto to Washington. As a pro rookie, Boudreau had a cameo appearance in "Slap Shot" with star Paul Newman. Today Boudreau coaches superstar Alexander Ovechkin and a young Washington club poised to become an elite NHL team vying for the Stanley Cup. Boudreau stole the limelight at the 2008 NHL Awards Show with his self-deprecating and folksy manner, which has made him a popular personality at every stop he s made. Hockey fans know there s only one Boudreau."
Download or read book Travel Team written by Mike Lupica and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2024-04-02 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 Bestseller! Twelve-year-old Danny Walker may be the smallest kid on the basketball court -- but don't tell him that. Because no one plays with more heart or court sense. But none of that matters when he is cut from his local travel team, the very same team his father led to national prominence as a boy. Danny's father, still smarting from his own troubles, knows Danny isn't the only kid who was cut for the wrong reason, and together, this washed-up former player and a bunch of never-say-die kids prove that the heart simply cannot be measured. For fans of The Bad News Bears, Hoosiers, the Mighty Ducks, and Mike Lupica's other New York Times bestselling novels Heat, The Underdogs, and Million-Dollar Throw, here is a book that proves that when the game knocks you down, champions stand tall.
Book Synopsis Have I Told You This Already? by : Lauren Graham
Download or read book Have I Told You This Already? written by Lauren Graham and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2023-11-14 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the beloved star of Gilmore Girls and the New York Times bestselling author of Talking as Fast as I Can comes an “insightful, honest, funny, and moving collection of captivating stories” (BuzzFeed). “Graham is fast and furiously funny. . . . Where Graham leads, we will definitely follow.”—E! Online Lauren Graham has graced countless television screens with her quick-witted characters and hilarious talk show appearances, earning a reputation as a pop culture icon who always has something to say. In her latest book, Have I Told You This Already?, Graham combines her signature sense of humor with down-to-earth storytelling. Graham shares personal stories about her life and career—from her early days spent pounding the pavement while waitressing in New York City, to living on her aunt’s couch during her first Los Angeles pilot season, to thoughts on aging gracefully in Hollywood. In “R.I.P. Barneys New York” Graham writes about an early job as a salesperson at the legendary department store (and the time she inadvertently shoplifted from it); in “Ryan Gosling Cannot Confirm,” she attempts to navigate the unspoken rules of Hollywood hierarchies; in “Boobs of the ’90s” she worries her bras haven’t kept up with the times; and in “Actor-y Factory” she recounts what a day in the life of an actor looks like (unless you’re Brad Pitt). Filled with surprising anecdotes, sage advice, and laugh-out-loud observations, these all-new, original essays showcase the winning charm and wry humor that have delighted Graham’s millions of fans.
Download or read book Mrs. Dalloway written by Virginia Woolf and published by Good Press. This book was released on 2023-12-16 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mrs Dalloway, Virginia Woolf's fourth novel, offers the reader an impression of a single June day in London in 1923. Clarissa Dalloway, the wife of a Conservative member of parliament, is preparing to give an evening party, while the shell-shocked Septimus Warren Smith hears the birds in Regent's Park chattering in Greek. There seems to be nothing, except perhaps London, to link Clarissa and Septimus. She is middle-aged and prosperous, with a sheltered happy life behind her; Smith is young, poor, and driven to hatred of himself and the whole human race. Yet both share a terror of existence, and sense the pull of death. The world of Mrs Dalloway is evoked in Woolf's famous stream of consciousness style, in a lyrical and haunting language which has made this, from its publication in 1925, one of her most popular novels.
Book Synopsis The Down Goes Brown History of the NHL by : Sean McIndoe
Download or read book The Down Goes Brown History of the NHL written by Sean McIndoe and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sean McIndoe of Down Goes Brown, one of hockey's favourite and funniest writers, takes aim at the game's most memorable moments--especially if they're memorable for the wrong reasons--in this warts-and-all history of the NHL. The NHL is, indisputably, weird. One moment, you're in awe of the speed, skill and intensity that define the sport, shaking your head as a player makes an impossible play, or shatters a longstanding record, or sobs into his first Stanley Cup. The next, everyone's wearing earmuffs, Mr. Rogers has shown up, and guys in yellow raincoats are officiating playoff games while everyone tries to figure out where the league president went. That's just life in the NHL, a league that often can't seem to get out of its own way. No matter how long you've been a hockey fan, you know that sinking feeling that maybe, just maybe, some of the people in charge here don't actually know what they're doing. And at some point, you've probably wondered: Has it always been this way? The short answer is yes. As for the longer answer, well, that's this book. In this fun, irreverent and fact-filled history, Sean McIndoe relates the flip side to the National Hockey League's storied past. His obsessively detailed memory combines with his keen sense for the absurdities that make you shake your head at the league and yet fanatically love the game, allowing you to laugh even when your team is the butt of the joke (and as a life-long Leafs fan, McIndoe takes the brunt of some of his own best zingers). The Down Goes Brown History of the NHL is the weird and wonderful league's story told as only Sean McIndoe can.
