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Sausagey Santa
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Download or read book Sausagey Santa written by Carlton Mellick and published by Eraserhead Press. This book was released on 2006 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "...One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. ...Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a strange Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone."--Back cover.
Book Synopsis Sausagey Santa by : Carlton Mellick, III
Download or read book Sausagey Santa written by Carlton Mellick, III and published by . This book was released on 2013-10 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa isn't the jolly old elf as portrayed in Children's stories. He's a bit more grotesque than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives, his teeth are walnuts, and his body is made of sausages. One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. It is an anti-Christmas spirit that loathes everything having to do with children and Jesus. His name is Frosty the Neo-Nazi Snowman. After Frosty steals his magic bag of presents, Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a peculiar Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone. It's the greatest sausage-spewing, elf-raping, zombie-killing, Transformer- fucking, reindeer-exploding, snowman-battling, adventure-rocking, bizarro Christmas story OF ALL TIME!!!
Download or read book Bucket of Face written by Eric Hendrixson and published by Eric Hendrixson. This book was released on 2010-10 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth. When Charles turns the wiseguys into doughnuts and steals their luggage, hoping for a better life for himself and his kiwi fruit girlfriend, he finds himself in the middle of a mafia war. As his girlfriend travels the DC metro area, selling off the contents of the bucket, Charles finds he is the target of a seasoned hit-tomato, who happens to be the biggest Michael Jackson fan who ever lived.
Book Synopsis The Ultra Fuckers by : Carlton Mellick Iii
Download or read book The Ultra Fuckers written by Carlton Mellick Iii and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife's company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwestern-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don't seem to make any sense. After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can't seem to find his way out. Ultra Fuckers is a work of absurd suburban horror in the tradition of Mellick's previous short novel, The Menstruating Mall.
Book Synopsis Jack and Mr. Grin by : Andersen Prunty
Download or read book Jack and Mr. Grin written by Andersen Prunty and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jack Orange is a twentysomething guy who works at a place called The Tent packing dirt in boxes and shipping them off to exotic, unheard of locales. He thinks about his girlfriend, Gina Black, and the ring he hopes to surprise her with. But when he returns home one day, Gina isn't there. He receives a strange call from a man who sounds likes he is smiling-- Mr. Grin. He says he has Gina. He gives Jack twenty-four hours to find her--Publisher's description.
Book Synopsis The Ballad of a Slow Poisoner by : Andrew Goldfarb
Download or read book The Ballad of a Slow Poisoner written by Andrew Goldfarb and published by . This book was released on 2007 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Herein are the singular adventures of one Millford Mutterwurst, who one day makes the unpleasant discovery that his elbows are becoming flatter - an unpleasant effect of the nefarious act of slow poisoning. He is soon joined by a blue and globular companion named Slub Glub and one translucent monkey in a frenetic balloon voyage to dangerous isles and disturbing planets in a desperate attempt to escape this deadly withering. A tale told in eighty dizzying chapters, all of them exceedingly short, and filled with strange songs and oblique illustrations.
Book Synopsis Adolf in Wonderland by : Carlton Mellick
Download or read book Adolf in Wonderland written by Carlton Mellick and published by . This book was released on 2007 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In an alternate version of the future where Hitler had conquered the entire world during WW2 and developed society into his vision of utopia, an SS officer is on a mission to find and exterminate the last imperfect human on Earth. Following his trail leads the young Nazi to a small town hidden in the middle of the desert; a place that has been cut off from society for so long that it has developed its own strange and disturbing culture. Thus begins Mellick's dreamlike adventure that takes a young descendent of Adolf Hitler's design and sends him down the rabbit hole into a world of imperfection and disorder, where even the laws of reality itself don't seem to apply. A tribute to both Franz Kafka and Lewis Carroll, "Adolf in Wonderland" is a perfect read for fans of the bizarro genre.
Book Synopsis The Egg Man by : Carlton Mellick Iii
Download or read book The Egg Man written by Carlton Mellick Iii and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 190 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden by : Cameron Pierce
Download or read book Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden written by Cameron Pierce and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A group of fanatical religious tourists from the future travel back in time to meet Adam and Eve. Unfortunately, their time ship crashes, killing the majority of the crew (including the leprechauns) and leaving them stranded in this strange shark-infested land. Among the survivors are: Ernest who has the ability to turn people into mannequins, Ira who wields a razor-edged bible for a weapon, Wayne a giant wizard head with fat lizard legs, Donkey the hunchback halfwit, Anton the birdman, Rattlesnake Doctor, Ancestor, and Sturgeonwolf. This cult of deranged priests soon discover that Eden is a far more surreal and dangerous place than they could ever have imagined. It is going to take everything they've got in order to survive long enough to find another way home--Publisher's description.
Book Synopsis Christmas on Crack by : Carlton Mellick Iii
Download or read book Christmas on Crack written by Carlton Mellick Iii and published by . This book was released on 2010-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's the dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass!
Book Synopsis Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition) by : Carlton Mellick III
Download or read book Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition) written by Carlton Mellick III and published by Eraserhead Press. This book was released on 2016-07-01 with total page 296 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
Book Synopsis The Rough Guide to Sardinia by : Robert Andrews
Download or read book The Rough Guide to Sardinia written by Robert Andrews and published by Rough Guides. This book was released on 2004 with total page 420 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This guide to Sardinia opens with a 16-page section featuring photography of the island's highlights from the beaches of the southern coast to the evocative prehistoric ruins of the nuraghi. The following chapters provide informative accounts of all the sights, from the lively capital of Cagliari to the Smerelda coast. There are reviews of the best places to eat, drink and sleep in every region and practical advice on exploring the island whether by bicycle, car, boat or on foot. Finally, there is comprehensive coverage of Sardinia's history, culture, art and festivals.
Book Synopsis The Rough Guide to Sardinia by : Rough Guides
Download or read book The Rough Guide to Sardinia written by Rough Guides and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-06-21 with total page 471 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Rough Guide to Sardinia is the ultimate travel guide to one of the Mediterranean's most fascinating islands. Discover Sardinia's highlights with stunning photography, color-coded maps, and more listings and information than ever before. You'll find detailed practical advice on what to see and do in Sardinia, from museums and archaeological sites to mountain hikes and beaches, as well as up-to-date descriptions of the best hotels, bars, and restaurants for all budgets. This guidebook covers the major festivals, explores Sardinia's checkered history and rich archaeology, and features lesser-known aspects of the island, such as its industrial heritage, literature, handicrafts, culinary quirks, and trekking opportunities. Make the most of your time with The Rough Guide to Sardinia.
Download or read book Sardinia written by Edward Burman and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2019-06-13 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An exploration of Sardinia's incredibly rich history and culture, which stretches back to the Neolithic period. This book details everyone from the Phoenicians to the Carthaginians and Aragonese who invaded Sardinia, which is covered with some of the most fascinating historical and archaeological sites in Europe – from thousands of nuraghi, Bronze Age towers and settlements, to 'giant's grave' and 'fairy house' tombs. It also holds eccentric festivals, from Barbagia's carnival parade of ghoulish mamuthones, said to banish winter demons, to the death-defying S'Ardia horse race in Sedilo. There are shipwrecks off Cagliari's coast, underwater caves and submerged Roman ruins in addition to ancient castles, churches, undisturbed hilltop villages and 2,000 miles of some of the most beautiful coastline in the world.
Book Synopsis Rough Guide Sardinia by : Robert Andrews
Download or read book Rough Guide Sardinia written by Robert Andrews and published by Rough Guides UK. This book was released on 2013-06-03 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The new-look, full colour Rough Guide to Sardinia is the ultimate travel guide to one of the Mediterranean's most fascinating islands. Discover Sardinia's highlights with stunning photography, colour-coded maps and more listings and information than ever before. You'll find detailed practical advice on what to see and do in Sardinia, from museums and archaeological sites to mountain hikes and beaches, as well as up-to-date descriptions of the best hotels, bars and restaurants for all budgets. The major festivals are covered at length, Sardinia's chequered history and rich archeology are explored, and lesser-known aspects of the island such as its industrial heritage, literature, handicrafts, culinary quirks and trekking opportunities are featured. With loads of practical advice, suggested itineraries and top 5 boxes, The Rough Guide to Sardinia will help you make the most of your time on this stunning island. Now available in PDF format.
Download or read book Real Americans written by Rachel Khong and published by Knopf. This book was released on 2024-04-30 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK • From the award-winning author of Goodbye, Vitamin: How far would you go to shape your own destiny? An exhilarating novel of American identity that spans three generations in one family and asks: What makes us who we are? And how inevitable are our futures? "Mesmerizing"—Brit Bennett • "A page turner.”—Ha Jin • “Gorgeous, heartfelt, soaring, philosophical and deft"—Andrew Sean Greer • "Traverses time with verve and feeling."—Raven Leilani Real Americans begins on the precipice of Y2K in New York City, when twenty-two-year-old Lily Chen, an unpaid intern at a slick media company, meets Matthew. Matthew is everything Lily is not: easygoing and effortlessly attractive, a native East Coaster, and, most notably, heir to a vast pharmaceutical empire. Lily couldn't be more different: flat-broke, raised in Tampa, the only child of scientists who fled Mao’s Cultural Revolution. Despite all this, Lily and Matthew fall in love. In 2021, fifteen-year-old Nick Chen has never felt like he belonged on the isolated Washington island where he lives with his single mother, Lily. He can't shake the sense she's hiding something. When Nick sets out to find his biological father, the journey threatens to raise more questions than it provides answers. In immersive, moving prose, Rachel Khong weaves a profound tale of class and striving, race and visibility, and family and inheritance—a story of trust, forgiveness, and finally coming home. Exuberant and explosive, Real Americans is a social novel par excellence that asks: Are we destined, or made? And if we are made, who gets to do the making? Can our genetic past be overcome?
Book Synopsis The Rough Guide to Sardinia (Travel Guide eBook) by : Rough Guides
Download or read book The Rough Guide to Sardinia (Travel Guide eBook) written by Rough Guides and published by Apa Publications (UK) Limited. This book was released on 2019-05-01 with total page 492 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover Sardinia with this comprehensive, entertaining, 'tell it like it is' Rough Guide, packed with exhaustive practical information and our experts' honest independent recommendations. Whether you plan to discover the prehistoric nuraghe, cycle the island's mountainous interior, take a boat trip through La Maddalena archipelago or marvel at the art-rich churches, The Rough Guide to Sardinia will show you the perfect places to explore, sleep, eat, drink and shop along the way. Detailed regional coverage: provides in-depth practical information for every step of every kind of trip, from intrepid off-the-beaten-track adventures, to chilled-out breaks in popular tourist areas. Regions covered include: Cágliari, Campidano,La Marmilla, Sarrabus, Oristano, Sássari, Sulcis, Gallura, Nuoro and Ogliastra Honest independent reviews: written with Rough Guides' trademark blend of humour, honesty and expertise, and recommendations you can truly trust, our writers will help you get the most from your trip to Sardinia. Meticulous mapping: always full colour, with clear numbered, colour-coded keys. Navigate Gallura's jagged-peaked interior, Costa Smeralda's beautiful beaches, the Pisan churches near Sássari,and many more locations without needing to get online. Fabulous full-colour photography: features a richness of inspirational colour photography, including the haunting ruins of Tharrosand the jewel-toned waters of the Costa Smeralda. Things not to miss: Rough Guides' rundown of Anglona, Oristano and Alghero's best sights and top experiences. Itineraries:carefully planned routes will help you organise your trip, and inspire and inform your on-the-road experiences. Basics section: packed withessential pre-departure information including getting there, getting around, accommodation, food and drink, health, the media, festivals, sports and outdoor activities, culture and etiquette, shopping and more. Background information: comprehensiveContexts chapter provides fascinating insights into Sardinia, with coverage of history, religion, ethnic groups, environment, wildlife and books, plus a handy language section and glossary. About Rough Guides: Rough Guides have been inspiring travellers for over 35 years, with over 30 million copies sold. Synonymous with practical travel tips, quality writing and a trustworthy 'tell it like it is' ethos, the Rough Guides' list includes more than 260 travel guides to 120+ destinations, gift-books and phrasebooks.
