No Country For Old Gnomes

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No Country for Old Gnomes

Author : Kevin Hearne
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 1524797782
Total Pages : 416 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (247 download)

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Book Synopsis No Country for Old Gnomes by : Kevin Hearne

Download or read book No Country for Old Gnomes written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2019-04-16 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett. “A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down—or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts—from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses—all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that there’s nothing more heroic than being yourself. In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here you’ll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but you’ll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.

Kill the Farm Boy

Author : Kevin Hearne
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 1524797758
Total Pages : 384 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (247 download)

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Book Synopsis Kill the Farm Boy by : Kevin Hearne

Download or read book Kill the Farm Boy written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2018-07-17 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. “Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett.”—Chuck Wendig “When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!”—Terry Brooks Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed. Praise for Kill the Farm Boy “A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style . . . a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python–esque humor and whimsy à la Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.”—Kirkus Reviews “Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.”—Library Journal “Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly.”—SyFy “A smart comedy . . . nuanced, complicated, and human.”—Tordotcom “[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical ‘white male power fantasies,’ and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella.”—Publishers Weekly

The Princess Beard

Author : Kevin Hearne
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 1524797812
Total Pages : 400 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (247 download)

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Book Synopsis The Princess Beard by : Kevin Hearne

Download or read book The Princess Beard written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2019-10-08 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This princess can shave herself! The hilarious bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell. Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails—which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise. This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss—it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong. But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer—preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas! In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.

The Gnome's Eye

Author : Anna Kerz
Publisher : Orca Book Publishers
ISBN 13 : 1554694744
Total Pages : 219 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (546 download)

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Book Synopsis The Gnome's Eye by : Anna Kerz

Download or read book The Gnome's Eye written by Anna Kerz and published by Orca Book Publishers. This book was released on 2010-04-01 with total page 219 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the spring of 1954, when her father announces that the family has a chance to immigrate to Canada, Theresa's life changes forever. She and her family are wartime refugees from Yugoslavia, so it shouldn't be hard to leave Austria. But the weathered barracks of Lager Lichtenstein are the only home she knows, and they are filled with family and friends she doesn't want to leave behind. As she says her good-byes, Theresa's friend Martin gives her two gifts: a package of postcards and a stone he calls the Gnome's Eye, which he says will "protect her from all things evil, living or dead." Theresa is convinced the stone has no power, but she still keeps it close as they travel on the crowded immigrant ship and when they settle into a rooming house on Kensington Avenue in Toronto. At first Theresa is afraid of everything: the other tenants in the rooming house, the rat that lives in the kitchen, learning a new language. But as time goes by, Theresa's need for the Gnome's Eye fades, until she is finally able to give it to someone who needs it more than she does.

Child of God

Author : Cormac McCarthy
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0307762483
Total Pages : 209 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis Child of God by : Cormac McCarthy

Download or read book Child of God written by Cormac McCarthy and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2010-08-11 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling author of The Passenger and the Pulitzer Prize–winning novel The Road • In this taut, chilling story, Lester Ballard—a violent, dispossessed man falsely accused of rape—haunts the hill country of East Tennessee when he is released from jail. While telling his story, Cormac McCarthy depicts the most sordid aspects of life with dignity, humor, and characteristic lyrical brilliance. "Like the novelists he admires-Melville, Dostoyevsky, Faulkner-Cormac McCarthy has created an imaginative oeuvre greater and deeper than any single book. Such writers wrestle with the gods themselves." —Washington Post Look for Cormac McCarthy's latest bestselling novels, The Passenger and Stella Maris.

Pip and the Wood Witch Curse

Author : Chris Mould
Publisher : Albert Whitman & Company
ISBN 13 : 0807565490
Total Pages : 153 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (75 download)

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Book Synopsis Pip and the Wood Witch Curse by : Chris Mould

Download or read book Pip and the Wood Witch Curse written by Chris Mould and published by Albert Whitman & Company. This book was released on 2012-09-01 with total page 153 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dark, scary, and magnificently illustrated, this is a new series not to be missed! The great walled city of Hangman's Hollow is at war with the forest outside. Into this war, one dreadful night, fate delivers a skinny, helpless boy. But maybe Pip isn't as helpless as he seems. Maybe he is the one who will defeat the wood witches and rescue the children of Hangman's Hollow.

Same Same

Author : Peter Mendelsund
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0525435883
Total Pages : 498 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (254 download)

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Book Synopsis Same Same by : Peter Mendelsund

Download or read book Same Same written by Peter Mendelsund and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2019-02-05 with total page 498 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the shifting sands of the desert, near an unnamed metropolis, there is an institute where various fellows come to undertake projects of great significance. But when our sort-of hero, Percy Frobisher, arrives, surrounded by the simulated environment of the glass-enclosed dome of the Institute, his mind goes completely blank. When he spills something on his uniform—a major faux pas—he learns about a mysterious shop where you can take something, utter the command “same same,” and receive a replica even better than the original. Imagining a world in which simulacra have as much value as the real—so much so that any distinction between the two vanishes, and even language seeks to reproduce meaning through ever more degraded copies of itself—Peter Mendelsund has crafted a deeply unsettling novel about what it means to exist and to create . . . and a future that may not be far off.

Gretel and the Case of the Missing Frog Prints

Author : P. J. Brackston
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1605987379
Total Pages : 159 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (59 download)

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Book Synopsis Gretel and the Case of the Missing Frog Prints by : P. J. Brackston

Download or read book Gretel and the Case of the Missing Frog Prints written by P. J. Brackston and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-01-15 with total page 159 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times bestselling author of The Witch's Daughter comes the story of Gretel, all grown up and investigating the disappearance of Albrecht Durer's treasured Frog Prints. Bavaria, 1776. When Albrecht Durer the Much Much Younger's Frog Prints go missing, he knows exactly where to turn for help. Gretel (yes, that Gretel), now 35 and still living with her gluttonous brother Hans, is the country's most famous private investigator, and she leaps at the opportunity to travel to cosmopolitan Nuremberg to take on the case. But amid the hubbub of the city’s annual sausage festival, Gretel struggles to find any clues that point toward the elusive thief. Even with the aid of the chatty mice living under her bed, the absent prints remain stubbornly out of view, and Gretel is forced to get creative in her search for the truth.

Hit

Author : Delilah S. Dawson
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 148142341X
Total Pages : 352 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (814 download)

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Book Synopsis Hit by : Delilah S. Dawson

Download or read book Hit written by Delilah S. Dawson and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-04-14 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In order to save her mother, a teen is forced to become an indentured assassin in this sizzling “movie ready” (Kirkus Reviews) dystopian thriller. No one reads the fine print. The good news is that the USA is finally out of debt. The bad news is that it was bought out by Valor National Bank, and debtors are the new big game, thanks to a tricky little clause hidden deep in the fine print of a credit card application. Now, after a swift and silent takeover that leaves 9-1-1 calls going through to Valor voicemail, they’re unleashing a wave of anarchy across the country. Patsy didn’t have much of a choice. When the suits showed up at her house threatening to kill her mother then and there for outstanding debt unless Patsy agreed to be an indentured assassin, what was she supposed to do? Let her own mother die? Patsy is forced to take on a five-day mission to complete a hit list of ten names. Each name on Patsy’s list has only three choices: pay the debt on the spot, agree to work as a bounty hunter, or die. And Patsy has to kill them personally, or else her mom takes a bullet of her own. Since yarn bombing is the only anarchy in Patsy’s past, she’s horrified and overwhelmed, especially as she realizes that most of the ten people on her list aren’t strangers. Things get even more complicated when a moment of mercy lands her with a sidekick: a hot rich kid named Wyatt whose brother is the last name on Patsy’s list. The two share an intense chemistry even as every tick of the clock draws them closer to an impossible choice. An absorbing, frightening glimpse at a reality that is eerily just steps away from ours—Hit is a taut, suspenseful thriller that absolutely mesmerizes from start to finish.

Over the Hills and Far Away

Author : Els Boekelaar
Publisher : Floris Books - Floris Books
ISBN 13 : 9780863157301
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (573 download)

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Book Synopsis Over the Hills and Far Away by : Els Boekelaar

Download or read book Over the Hills and Far Away written by Els Boekelaar and published by Floris Books - Floris Books. This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A revised color edition of a collection of forty stories from around Europe about gnomes, dwarfs, leprechauns and fairies.

The One Great Gnome

Author : Jeff Dinardo
Publisher : Red Chair Press
ISBN 13 : 1947159577
Total Pages : 122 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (471 download)

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Book Synopsis The One Great Gnome by : Jeff Dinardo

Download or read book The One Great Gnome written by Jeff Dinardo and published by Red Chair Press. This book was released on 2020-09-01 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the spirit of Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz, this story introduces readers to the hidden magical—and mysterious—world of gnomes, elves, and trolls. Eleven-year-old Sarah moves with her family from New York City to rural Hadley, Connecticut. She's eager to explore her new home and meet new friends, but she never expected to befriend an old garden gnome. Readers join Sarah as she is drawn into a secret world under our feet. Sarah uses her instincts to calm old rivalries and help the underworld elves, gnomes, and more join her in the upperworld.

Russia ABCs

Author : Ann Berge
Publisher : Capstone
ISBN 13 : 1404802843
Total Pages : 33 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (48 download)

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Book Synopsis Russia ABCs by : Ann Berge

Download or read book Russia ABCs written by Ann Berge and published by Capstone. This book was released on 2004 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Privyet! Welcome to Russia! Come along on this ABC adventure through the biggest country on Earth. Read about diamond-studded eggs, the deepest lake in the world, and other fascinating facts.

Minecraft: Mob Squad: Don't Fear the Creeper

Author : Delilah S. Dawson
Publisher : Random House Worlds
ISBN 13 : 0593355822
Total Pages : 254 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (933 download)

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Book Synopsis Minecraft: Mob Squad: Don't Fear the Creeper by : Delilah S. Dawson

Download or read book Minecraft: Mob Squad: Don't Fear the Creeper written by Delilah S. Dawson and published by Random House Worlds. This book was released on 2022-11-01 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Mob Squad must outwit a mysterious new enemy as they journey across the Overworld of Minecraft in this official novel! The Mob Squad are the greatest heroes the town of Cornucopia has produced since it was founded: Mal the bold, Lenna the strong, Tok the wise, and Chug the steadfast. And Jarro, who’s renounced his bullying ways to reveal a truly kind heart. Together they’ve journeyed across the Overworld, delved into the Nether, and saved the day for Cornucopia again and again. So why can’t they get any respect from the adults who run the town? The only one who understands is Nan, Mal’s great-great-great-grandmother, who trained them to be as resourceful and adventurous as she was in her day. So when Nan gets sick and isn’t getting any better, the kids refuse to just sit by and do nothing. There’s something out there that can help her—an enchanted golden apple that can cure just about anything. And the Mob Squad will stop at nothing to get it. But as they venture outside the walls of Cornucopia, they aren’t counting on being followed. The kids soon discover a mysterious foe whose motives are as unknown as the face they hide behind a creeper’s head. If the Mob Squad wants to rescue Nan, they’re going to have to save themselves first.

Star Wars: Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade

Author : Delilah S. Dawson
Publisher : Random House Worlds
ISBN 13 : 0593598598
Total Pages : 401 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (935 download)

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Book Synopsis Star Wars: Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade by : Delilah S. Dawson

Download or read book Star Wars: Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade written by Delilah S. Dawson and published by Random House Worlds. This book was released on 2023-07-18 with total page 401 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When the Jedi Order falls, an Inquisitor rises. Padawan Iskat Akaris has dedicated her life to traveling the galaxy alongside her master, learning the ways of the Force to become a good Jedi. Despite Iskat’s dedication, peace and control have remained elusive, and with each setback, she feels her fellow Jedi grow more distrustful of her. Already uncertain about her future in the Jedi Order, Iskat faces tragedy when her master is killed and the Clone Wars engulf the galaxy in chaos. Now a general on the front lines contributing to that chaos, she is often reminded: Trust in your training. Trust in the wisdom of the Council. Trust in the Force. Yet as the shadows of doubt take hold, Iskat begins to ask questions that no Jedi is supposed to ask. Questions about her own unknown past. Questions the Jedi Masters would consider dangerous. As the years pass and the war endures, Iskat’s faith in the Jedi wanes. If they would grant her more freedom, she is certain she could do more to protect the galaxy. If they would trust her with more knowledge, she could finally cast aside the shadows that have begun to consume her. When the Jedi Order finally falls, Iskat seizes the chance to forge a path of her own. She embraces the salvation of Order 66. As an Inquisitor, Iskat finds the freedom she has always craved: to question, to want. And with each strike of her red blade, Iskat moves closer to claiming her new destiny in the Force—whatever the cost.

Candle & Crow

Author : Kevin Hearne
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 1984821318
Total Pages : 353 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (848 download)

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Book Synopsis Candle & Crow by : Kevin Hearne

Download or read book Candle & Crow written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2024-10-01 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times bestselling author of The Iron Druid Chronicles comes the final book in the “action-packed, enchantingly fun” (Booklist) Ink & Sigil series, as an ink-slinging wizard pursues the answer to a very personal mystery: Who cast a pair of curses on his head? Al MacBharrais has a most unusual job: He’s a practitioner of ink-and-sigil magic, tasked with keeping order among the gods and monsters that dwell hidden in the human world. But there’s one supernatural mystery he’s never been able to solve: Years ago, someone cast twin curses on him that killed off his apprentices and drove away loved ones who heard him speak, leaving him bereft and isolated. But he’s not quite alone: As Al works to solve this mystery, his friends draw him into their own eccentric dramas. Buck Foi the hobgoblin has been pondering his own legacy—and has a plan for a daring shenanigan that will make him the most celebrated hobgoblin of all. Nadia, goth queen and battle seer, is creating her own cult around a god who loves whisky and cheese. And the Morrigan, a former Irish death goddess, has decided she wants not only to live as an ordinary woman but also to face the most perilous challenge of the mortal world: online dating. Meanwhile, Al crosses paths with old friends and new—including some beloved Druids and their very good dogs—in his globe-trotting quest to solve the mystery of his curses. But he’s pulled in so many different directions by his colleagues, a suspicious detective, and the whims of destructive gods that Al begins to wonder: Will he ever find time to write his own happy ending? BOOK THREE OF THE INK & SIGIL SERIES Don’t miss any of Kevin Hearne’s enchanting Ink & Sigil series: INK & SIGIL • PAPER & BLOOD • CANDLE & CROW

Hammered (with bonus short story)

Author : Kevin Hearne
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 0345522540
Total Pages : 344 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (455 download)

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Book Synopsis Hammered (with bonus short story) by : Kevin Hearne

Download or read book Hammered (with bonus short story) written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2011-07-05 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the third novel in the New York Times bestselling Iron Druid Chronicles, two-thousand year-old Druid Atticus O’Sullivan must take down the Norse god of thunder himself. “A page-turning and often laugh-out-loud-funny caper through a mix of the modern and the mythic.”—Ari Marmell, author of The Warlord’s Legacy When the naysayers say, “Nay, don’t mess with the man who wields the lightning bolts,” ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the ancient Druid Atticus O’Sullivan would nod along and agree. But when multiple people convince him that Thor, the Norse god of thunder, needs to get got, he thinks maybe this is the one time he should ignore the advice of the wise—even if those sages include deities who tend not to be wrong about very much. Because Thor has undeniably done somebody wrong—many somebodies, in fact, and Atticus doesn’t think he can simply dismiss it as someone else’s problem. Plus he has made promises that he doesn’t feel he can break, promises that will take him away from Midgard to the planes of the Norse, where his actions will create ripples throughout the nine realms. On top of that there’s a turf war brewing amongst the vampires, a zealous group of mystic hunters called the Hammers of God running rampant, and a pack of werewolves who very much don’t wish to see their leader taken off to Valhalla. In order to avoid being the nail underneath the hammer Mjöllnir, Atticus will need every ounce of Irish luck he can muster, and maybe the help of a few deities in his corner. Don’t miss any of The Iron Druid Chronicles: HOUNDED | HEXED | HAMMERED | TRICKED | TRAPPED | HUNTED | SHATTERED | STAKED | SCOURGED | BESIEGED

Minecraft: Mob Squad

Author : Delilah S. Dawson
Publisher : Random House Worlds
ISBN 13 : 0593355784
Total Pages : 260 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (933 download)

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Book Synopsis Minecraft: Mob Squad by : Delilah S. Dawson

Download or read book Minecraft: Mob Squad written by Delilah S. Dawson and published by Random House Worlds. This book was released on 2021-09-28 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Come with the Mob Squad on an amazing adventure through the Overworld in this official Minecraft novel! The village of Cornucopia is practically perfect in every way. Plenty of food, cozy homes, and a huge wall to keep everyone safe from the scary world outside. What more could a kid possibly need? Well, a lot, actually. Mal, a fearless girl, needs adventure, and her friends are right there with her: Lenna, a dreamer whose family underestimates her every day. Tok and Chug, brothers who love to build stuff (Tok) and smash stuff (Chug). They’re best friends, and in a town whose grown-ups value safety over bravery and fitting in over standing out, they’re the bad apples. But when a mysterious mob sneaks past Cornucopia’s defenses, the village is in huge trouble. And nobody knows what to do. Finally faced with the adventure she’s always wanted, Mal and her friends defy the rules their elders have always followed and set out beyond the wall for the first time. On their journey across the Overworld, they discover wonders they’ve never dreamed of and dangers they’ve never imagined. To save the day, they’ll have to prove they’re more than bad apples. They’re the Mob Squad!