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Kids Are Turds
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Download or read book Kids Are Turds written by Jenny Schoberl and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-04-05 with total page 206 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said “Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share. Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name. Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby! What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out? Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a “good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!
Download or read book I Eat Poop. written by Mark Pett and published by Roaring Brook Press. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 25 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the vein of Please Don't Eat Me and We Don't Eat Our Classmates, I Eat Poop. by Mark Pett is a heartwarming and hilarious picture book about friendship, fitting in, and accepting each other's differences. Dougie has a secret: he’s not a ground beetle. He’s a dung beetle, and he loves eating poop. Dougie knows he should be proud. Dung beetles help process waste and do other extraordinary things! But Dougie also knows that if anyone at school saw his lunch, he’d be an outcast. One day, the lunchroom bugs out over a classmate eating poop, and Dougie must make a choice. Can he stand up for his friend—and for his true self? I Eat Poop. is packed with important social emotional learning themes and is great for classroom or at home discussion. Read I Eat Poop. for conversations about: - Bullying and being kind - Standing up for your friends and speaking up for your beliefs - Being proud of your culture and heritage - Embracing diversity and accepting and celebrating differences The book also includes incredible, STEM-related facts about bugs.
Book Synopsis Who Gives a Poop? by : Heather L. Montgomery
Download or read book Who Gives a Poop? written by Heather L. Montgomery and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2020-10-13 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Follow scientist Heather L. Montgomery into science labs, forests, hospitals, and landfills, as she asks: Who uses poo? Poop is disgusting, but it's also packed with potential. One scientist spent months training a dog to track dung to better understand elephant birthing patterns. Another discovered that mastodon poop years ago is the reason we enjoy pumpkin pie today. And every week, some folks deliver their own poop to medical facilities, where it is swirled, separated, and shipped off to a hospital to be transplanted into another human. There's even a train full of human poop sludge that's stuck without a home in Alabama! This irreverent and engaging narrative nonfiction book shows that poop isn't just waste-and that dealing with it responsibly is our duty.
Book Synopsis The Great Big Poop Party by : Samantha Berger
Download or read book The Great Big Poop Party written by Samantha Berger and published by Henry Holt and Company (BYR). This book was released on 2020-09-29 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Great Big Poop Party is writer Samantha Berger and illustrator Manny Galán's hilarious picture book about a little boy who wants a special theme for his birthday party—and the poop-centric silliness that ensues. Julian's birthday is fast approaching. For his party, his parents promise he can have any theme he wants. Maybe superheroes or skateboards? Dinosaurs or dogs? But Julian has another idea. He wants a poop party. With his family's help, Julian throws the biggest, brownest, most creative poop party ever!
Download or read book The Poop Song written by Eric Litwin and published by Chronicle Books LLC. This book was released on 2021-04-13 with total page 41 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A satisfyingly silly picture book sing-along about pooping—a topic kids find hilarious and parents find necessary! Discover how cats, pelicans, space aliens, and even dinosaurs poop in this rollicking, rhyming verse that's sure to elicit giggles. With plenty of hilarious pictures and a catchy chorus that encourages young children to use the toilet, this laugh-out-loud story is the go-to potty training book that every family needs. • A playful approach to potty training • Full of humor that is silly, not disgusting • From the bestselling author of Pete the Cat: I Love my White Shoes Everybody's pooping all day long. That's why we sing the pooping song! A former elementary school teacher, Eric Litwin's books interweave traditional reading methods with music and movement to make learning fun and effective. • Children's books for kids ages 2–4 • Perfect for families potty training • Great for fans of silly picture books
Download or read book Kids Are Turds written by Jenny Schoberl and published by Skyhorse. This book was released on 2016-04-05 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said “Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share. Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name. Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby! What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out? Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a “good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!
Download or read book Poop Happened! written by Sarah Albee and published by Walker Childrens. This book was released on 2010-05-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did lead pipescause the fall of the Roman Empire? How many toilets were in theaverage Egyptian pyramid? How did a knight wearing fiftypounds of armor go to thebathroom? Was poor hygiene thelast strawbefore the French Revolution? DidThomas Crapper really inventthe modern toilet? How doastronauts goin space? History finally comes out of thewater-closet inthis exploration of how people's need to relieve themselves shapedhumandevelopment from ancient times to the present. Throughout time, themostsuccessful civilizations were the ones who realized thateveryone poops, and theyhad better figure out how to get rid of it! From the world's firstflushing toiletinvented by ancient Minoan plumbers to castle moats in the middle agesthatused more than just water to repel enemies, Sarah Albee traces humancivilization using one revolting yet fascinating theme. A blend of historical photos and humorous illustrationsbring the answers to these questions and more to life, plus extra-grosssidebar information adds to the potty humor. This is bathroom readingkids, teachers,librarians, and parents won't be able to put down!
Book Synopsis 3 Day Potty Training by : Lora Jensen
Download or read book 3 Day Potty Training written by Lora Jensen and published by Lora Jensen. This book was released on 2014-03-04 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 3 Day Potty Training is a fun and easy-to-follow guide for potty training even the most stubborn child just 3 days. Not just for pee and poop but for day and night too! Lora’s method is all about training the child to learn their own body signs. If the parent is having to do all the work, then the child isn’t truly trained, but with Lora’s method your child will learn when their body is telling them that they need to use the potty and they will communicate that need to you.
Book Synopsis When Poop Gets Stuck! by : Nathan Cameron
Download or read book When Poop Gets Stuck! written by Nathan Cameron and published by . This book was released on 2020-04-24 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everybody poops, and every child has weird, wild, and hilarious adventures with poop. Join Timmy and his family in one of the funniest stories as they encounter ridiculous, disgusting, epic turds that just will not move! This is the perfect children's book to combat the crushing news we receive every day. We don't need a teaching book right now. What we need is the sound of laughter, and smiles all around. This is the bedtime story that will put a smile on your child's face every night!
Download or read book P Is for Poop written by Ben Luster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-09-24 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A LAUGH OUT LOUD ABC BOOK From poop filled diapers and dad in his underwear, to tripping over toys and lice filled hair, P Is For Poop is a hilarious rhyming ABC book that highlights true parenthood. Join our family of characters as they embark on a typical day filled with the frequent pitfalls, challenges, and silly situations known to every parent. A funny and honest assessment on raising children, with simple rhymes and full color pictures, P Is For Poop was written for the kid in us all. As a new father, author Ben Luster, wants every parent to know they're not alone as they navigate the trials and tribulations of rasiing a child. It's hard, overwhelming, and at times quite smelly; but at the end of the day it is worth it. A perfect gift for those expecting a new addition to their family, and who seek a book that will make them laugh along with their child.
Book Synopsis Don't Say Poop! by : Jimmy Matejek-Morris
Download or read book Don't Say Poop! written by Jimmy Matejek-Morris and published by HMH Books For Young Readers. This book was released on 2021-04-20 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everyone Poops meets The Book with No Pictures in this irresistibly naughty read-aloud. When you get the urge to say you-know-what, don't. DON'T SAY POOP! Why say a vile word like poop when you could say humdrum bum crumbs, float-or-sinker, major stinker, sometimes mushy from your tushy, or smelly belly funky jelly. See how much nicer that is? This silly book of tongue twisters will have kids doubled over as they learn some alternatives to their favorite potty words. Perfect for reading aloud, and for reading again and again!
Book Synopsis Whose Poop Is That? by : Darrin Lunde
Download or read book Whose Poop Is That? written by Darrin Lunde and published by Triangle Interactive, Inc. . This book was released on 2018-03-29 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Read Along or Enhanced eBook: Poop! Ewwww! No, don’t say “Ewwww.” Ask, “Whose poop is that?” This simple, and yes, charming book asks this question about seven examples of animal poop. By investigating visual clues, young readers can learn to identify the animal through its droppings. For instance, find a sample of poop with bits of bone and tufts of hair. Turn the page to learn it came from a fox! Kelsey Oseid’s illustrations are both accurate and beautiful. Backmatter includes further information about the poop and what scientists can learn from an animal’s droppings. From the Hardcover edition.
Download or read book Rabbit Turds written by Susan Froehlich and published by Bookhouse Fulfillment. This book was released on 2013-07-15 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With over seventy quirky poems, Rabbit Turds is sure to tickle your funny bone. In a style reminiscent of Shel Silverstein, this book explores topics ranging from the silly to serious— bad breath to bullying, the fear of shots to zombies. From eternally popular potty-humor that will send kids into fits of giggles to educational poems that spark interest in insects and animals, the imaginative poems in Rabbit Turds will be a treat for both young readers and those who are young at heart.
Book Synopsis How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler by : Natasha Daniels
Download or read book How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler written by Natasha Daniels and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. This book was released on 2015-09-21 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why does your toddler get upset when his or her routine is disrupted? Why do they follow you from room to room and refuse to play on their own? Why are daily routines such as mealtimes, bath time, and bed time such a struggle? This accessible guide demystifies the difficult behaviors of anxious toddlers, offering tried-and-tested practical solutions to common parenting dilemmas. Each chapter begins with a real life example, clearly illustrating the behavior from the parent's and the toddler's perspective. Once the toddler's anxious behavior has been demystified and explained, new and effective parenting approaches are introduced to help parents tackle everyday difficulties and build up their child's resilience, independence, and coping mechanisms. Common difficulties with bath time, toileting, sleep, eating, transitions, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and sensory issues are solved, along with specific fears and phobias, and more extreme behaviors such as skin picking and hair pulling. A must-read for all parents of anxious toddlers, as well as for the professionals involved in supporting them.
Book Synopsis Oh Crap! Potty Training by : Jamie Glowacki
Download or read book Oh Crap! Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Book Synopsis Even Princesses Poop by : Thomas Nelson
Download or read book Even Princesses Poop written by Thomas Nelson and published by . This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For Ingest Only - Data needs to be cleaned up for all products being loaded
Download or read book Harlem Grown written by Tony Hillery and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-08-18 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As featured on Humans of New York “Hartland’s joyful folk-art illustrations bop from the gray-toned jazzy vibrancy of a bustling city neighborhood to the colorful harvest of a lush urban farm.” —The New York Times “An inspiring picture book for youngsters with meaningful ties to the environment, sustainability, and community engagement.” —Booklist Discover the incredible true story of Harlem Grown, a lush garden in New York City that grew out of an abandoned lot and now feeds a neighborhood. Once In a big city called New York In a bustling neighborhood There was an empty lot. Nevaeh called it the haunted garden. Harlem Grown tells the inspiring true story of how one man made a big difference in a neighborhood. After seeing how restless they were and their lack of healthy food options, Tony Hillery invited students from an underfunded school to turn a vacant lot into a beautiful and functional farm. By getting their hands dirty, these kids turned an abandoned space into something beautiful and useful while learning about healthy, sustainable eating and collaboration. Five years later, the kids and their parents, with the support of the Harlem Grown staff, grow thousands of pounds of fruits and vegetables a year. All of it is given to the kids and their families. The incredible story is vividly brought to life with Jessie Hartland’s “charmingly busy art” (Booklist) that readers will pore over in search of new details as they revisit this poignant and uplifting tale over and over again. Harlem Grown is an independent, not-for-profit organization. The author’s share of the proceeds from the sale of this book go directly to Harlem Grown.
