If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

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Author :
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290109
Total Pages : 178 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (532 download)

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Book Synopsis If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The hilarious #1 New York Times bestseller: Erma Bombeck’s take on marriage and family life is “fun from cover to cover” (Hartford Courant). Ever since she was a child, Er ma Bombeck has been an expert worrier, and married life has only honed that skill. She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year’s Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredictable saga even when you know exactly how loud your husband snores every night—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In this crisp collection of essays, Bombeck shows off the irresistible style that made her one of America’s favorite humorists for more than three decades. When she sharpens her wit, no family member is sacred and no self-help fad is safe. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

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Author :
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290060
Total Pages : 199 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (532 download)

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Book Synopsis The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “marvelously funny” and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller (Vogue). For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don’t risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte’s Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load up their belongings and cry, “Station wagons . . . ho!” But life on the suburban frontier is not as perfect as they had hoped. The trees are stunted, the house is cramped, and there’s no grass at all. But the Bombecks will make do, for they are suburbanites now—the last true pioneers! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

At Wit's End

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Author :
Publisher : Fawcett
ISBN 13 : 030777824X
Total Pages : 225 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis At Wit's End by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book At Wit's End written by Erma Bombeck and published by Fawcett. This book was released on 2011-02-02 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "America's irrepressible doyenne of domestic satire." THE BOSTON GLOBE Madcap, bittersweet humor in classic Erma Bombeck-style. You'll laugh until it hurts and love it! "Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet, he's treading water. What do you mean you're a participle in the school play and you need a costume? Those rotten kids. If only they'd let me wake up in my own way. Why do they have to line up along my bed and stare at me like Moby Dick just washed up onto a beach somewhere?"

Sparkly Green Earrings

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Publisher : Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
ISBN 13 : 1414382480
Total Pages : 240 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (143 download)

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Book Synopsis Sparkly Green Earrings by : Melanie Shankle

Download or read book Sparkly Green Earrings written by Melanie Shankle and published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. This book was released on 2013-02-08 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “There is really no better indicator you’re a mother than acquiring the ability to catch throw-up in a plastic bag, disinfect your hands, and immediately ask your friend to pass the beef jerky as you put on another Taylor Swift song and act as if nothing has happened.” This is the type of insight Melanie Shankle offers in this quirky memoir of motherhood. Written in the familiar, stream-of-consciousness style of her blog, Big Mama, Sparkly Green Earrings is a heartwarming and hilarious look at motherhood from someone who is still trying to figure it all out. Filled with personal stories—from the decision to become a mother to the heartbreak of miscarriage and ultimately, to the joy of raising a baby and living to tell about it—Sparkly Green Earrings will make you feel like you’re sitting across the table from your best friend. A must-read for anyone who’s ever had a child or even thought about it.

When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home

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Author :
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0061099813
Total Pages : 292 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (61 download)

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Book Synopsis When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home written by Erma Bombeck and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 1992-12-05 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The author tells of her travel experiences around the world, addressing the questions of travelers everywhere." --

All I Know about Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room

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Author :
Publisher : Harpercollins
ISBN 13 : 9780060177881
Total Pages : 207 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (778 download)

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Book Synopsis All I Know about Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book All I Know about Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room written by Erma Bombeck and published by Harpercollins. This book was released on 1995 with total page 207 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Identifying the likenesses between animals in the wild and human beings, another humorous reflection of the ridiculous side of life pokes fun at nutrition, talk shows, childbirth, and more. 500,000 first printing. $300,000 ad/promo.

Aunt Erma's Cope Book

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Author :
Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290079
Total Pages : 183 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (532 download)

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Book Synopsis Aunt Erma's Cope Book by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book Aunt Erma's Cope Book written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestseller about one woman’s doomed quest for self-improvement by a writer “blessed with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch” (The Boston Globe). As far as Erma can tell, her life is going well. Her children speak to her, her husband smiles at her, and she’s capable of looking in a mirror without screaming. But her friends know better. No matter how happy Erma thinks she is, she’s in need of help, and the only way to fulfillment is a ten-foot stack of self-improvement books. From Sensual Needlepoint to Fear of Buying, Erma will try them all. One book recommends bringing roleplay into the bedroom, so she dresses up in her son’s football pads. She tries to meditate but gets stuck in the lotus position. She spends more time in the kitchen but only succeeds in melting her son’s retainer. No matter how hard she tries to improve her family life, her schemes keep backfiring. As she soon learns, you may not always be able to fix what’s not broken—but with enough self-help books, you can break anything you want. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Forever, Erma

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Publisher : Open Road Media
ISBN 13 : 1453290095
Total Pages : 427 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (532 download)

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Book Synopsis Forever, Erma by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book Forever, Erma written by Erma Bombeck and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2013-01-15 with total page 427 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times Bestseller: This anthology of Erma Bombeck’s most memorable and humorous essays is a tribute to one of America’s sharpest wits. When she began writing her regular newspaper column in 1965, Erma Bombeck’s goal was to make housewives laugh. Thirty years later, she had published more than four thousand columns, and earned countless laughs—from housewives, presidents, and everyone in between. With grace, good humor, and razor-sharp prose, she gently skewered every aspect of the American family. This collection holds the best of her columns—not just her famous quips, but also the heartbreaking observations that gave her writing such weight. In 1969, Erma wrote: “screaming kids, unpaid bills, green leftovers, husbands behind newspapers, basketballs in the bathroom. They’re real . . . they’re warm . . . they’re the only bit of normalcy left in this cockeyed world, and I’m going to cling to it like life itself.” With what Publishers Weekly calls her “infectious sense of human absurdity,” Erma Bombeck’s writing remains a timeless examination of the still-cockeyed world. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Four of a Kind

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Publisher : Galahad Books
ISBN 13 : 9780883659595
Total Pages : 632 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (595 download)

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Book Synopsis Four of a Kind by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book Four of a Kind written by Erma Bombeck and published by Galahad Books. This book was released on 1996-10 with total page 632 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The grass is always greener over the septic tank; If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?; Aunt Erma's cope book; Motherhood: the second oldest profession.

Cherries and Cherry Pits

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Author :
Publisher : Greenwillow Books
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 48 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (91 download)

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Book Synopsis Cherries and Cherry Pits by : Vera B. Williams

Download or read book Cherries and Cherry Pits written by Vera B. Williams and published by Greenwillow Books. This book was released on 1986-10-20 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bidemmi, a girl from Kenya, draws pictures and tells stories about cherries.

Erma Bombeck

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Author :
Publisher : Samuel French, Incorporated
ISBN 13 : 9780573705038
Total Pages : 36 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (5 download)

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Book Synopsis Erma Bombeck by : Allison Engel

Download or read book Erma Bombeck written by Allison Engel and published by Samuel French, Incorporated. This book was released on 2016 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "From the writers of the smash hit Red Hot Patriot: The Kick-Ass Wit of Molly Ivins comes a comic look at one of our country's most beloved voices. Erma Bombeck captured the frustrations of her generation by asking, "If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?" Discover the story behind America's most beloved humorist who championed women's lives with wit that sprang from the most unexpected place of all - the truth."

I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise

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Author :
Publisher : Harpercollins
ISBN 13 : 9780060161705
Total Pages : 174 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (617 download)

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Book Synopsis I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise by : Erma Bombeck

Download or read book I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise written by Erma Bombeck and published by Harpercollins. This book was released on 1989 with total page 174 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The story of children fighting and surviving cancer is a tale of innocent courage and remarkable strength of character in the face of a seemingly implacable foe

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780812433678
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (336 download)

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Book Synopsis If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? by :

Download or read book If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? written by and published by . This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

The Stories of John Cheever

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Author :
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0307743985
Total Pages : 1093 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis The Stories of John Cheever by : John Cheever

Download or read book The Stories of John Cheever written by John Cheever and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2011-04-20 with total page 1093 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: PULITZER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A seminal collection from one of the true masters of the short story. Spanning the duration of Cheever’s long and distinguished career, these sixty-one stories chronicle and encapsulate the lives of what has been called “the greatest generation.” From the early wonder and disillusionment of city life in “The Enormous Radio” to the surprising discoveries and common mysteries of suburbia in “The Housebreaker of Shady Hill” and “The Swimmer,” these are tales that have helped define the form. Featuring a preface by the Pulizter Prize-winning author, The Stories of John Cheever brings together some of the finest short stories ever written. "Cheever’s crowning achievement is the ability to be simultaneously generous and cynical, to see that the absurd and the profound can reside in the same moment, and to acknowledge both at the detriment of neither." —The Guardian

Food in Jars

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Author :
Publisher : Running PressBook Pub
ISBN 13 : 0762441437
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (624 download)

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Book Synopsis Food in Jars by : Marisa McClellan

Download or read book Food in Jars written by Marisa McClellan and published by Running PressBook Pub. This book was released on 2012-05-22 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A comprehensive guide to home preserving and canning in small batches provides seasonally arranged recipes for 100 jellies, spreads, salsas and more while explaining the benefits of minimizing dependence on processed, store-bought preserves.

Napalm & Silly Putty

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Publisher : Hachette UK
ISBN 13 : 0786871598
Total Pages : 272 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (868 download)

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Book Synopsis Napalm & Silly Putty by : George Carlin

Download or read book Napalm & Silly Putty written by George Carlin and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2001-07-01 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings. Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask: How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite? Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff? In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"? And he makes some startling observations, including: Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore. Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including: KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.

Live Long & Die Laughing

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Author :
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 141851621X
Total Pages : 161 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (185 download)

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Book Synopsis Live Long & Die Laughing by : Mark Lowry

Download or read book Live Long & Die Laughing written by Mark Lowry and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2000-10-18 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: InLive & Die Laughing,comedian/singer Mark Lowry pulls his wild-and-wacky train of thought into the station with musings about everything from God's character to church potlucks. Using material from his email newsletter, along with responses from its nearly 40,000 subscribers ("reMarkable,"www.marklowry.com), Lowry underscored the idea that God tirelessly loves and looks after his believers, no matter how quirky we are!