Letters From A Nut

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Author :
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 1446491501
Total Pages : 194 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (464 download)

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Book Synopsis Letters From A Nut by : Ted L Nancy

Download or read book Letters From A Nut written by Ted L Nancy and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-10-31 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city... I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME."... Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.

More Letters from a Nut

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Author :
Publisher : Bantam
ISBN 13 : 0804149801
Total Pages : 871 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (41 download)

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Book Synopsis More Letters from a Nut by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book More Letters from a Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and published by Bantam. This book was released on 2013-07-31 with total page 871 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

All New Letters from a Nut

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Author :
Publisher : Crown Archetype
ISBN 13 : 0307716287
Total Pages : 258 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (77 download)

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Book Synopsis All New Letters from a Nut by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book All New Letters from a Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2010 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The best-selling author of Letters from a Nut presents a latest collection of whimsical correspondence between the author and the unwary establishments, organizations and government offices that attempted to respond to such requests as a hotel room for 300 hamsters and a 59-foot piece of bologna.

Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut!

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Author :
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780312261559
Total Pages : 244 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (615 download)

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Book Synopsis Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut! by : Ted Nancy

Download or read book Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut! written by Ted Nancy and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2000-06-14 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Wilber Winkle Has a Complaint!

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Author :
Publisher : Bancroft Press
ISBN 13 : 1890862991
Total Pages : 445 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (98 download)

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Book Synopsis Wilber Winkle Has a Complaint! by : John Homans

Download or read book Wilber Winkle Has a Complaint! written by John Homans and published by Bancroft Press. This book was released on 1997-06-25 with total page 445 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is Wilber Winkle a consumer advocate extraordinaire or just a nut with too much time on his hands? Whatever the verdict, this hilarious collection of complaint letters to American corporations and their responses are a laugh-aloud page-turner. Readers everywhere will recognize the beefs that Wilber strives to get to the bottom of: Denny's waitresses disturbing the delicate balance of cream and sugar in their coffee, the disappearance of the almond from the 5th Avenue candy bar, and insulting automotive technicians at Jiffy Lube. After studying Wilber's letter-writing campaigns, readers will learn how to complain the Wilber Winkle Way and translate customer service-ese. An unflinchingly funny look into the world of customer service and one consumer who will not stand for life's little inconveniences.

The Falconer

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Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1501193244
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (11 download)

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Book Synopsis The Falconer by : Dana Czapnik

Download or read book The Falconer written by Dana Czapnik and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-01-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times Editor’s Choice Pick “A novel of huge heart and fierce intelligence. It has restored my faith in pretty much everything.” —Ann Patchett, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Commonwealth “[An] electric debut novel…Reader, beware: Spending time with Lucy is unapologetic fun, and heartbreak, and awe as well.” —Chloe Malle, The New York Times Book Review In this “frank, bittersweet coming-of-age story that crackles with raw adolescent energy, fresh-cut prose, and a kinetic sense of place” (Entertainment Weekly), a teenaged tomboy explores love, growing up, and New York City in the early 1990s. New York, 1993. Street-smart seventeen-year-old Lucy Adler is often the only girl on the public basketball courts. Lucy’s inner life is a contradiction. She’s by turns quixotic and cynical, insecure and self-possessed, and, despite herself, is in unrequited love with her best friend and pickup teammate, Percy, the rebellious son of a prominent New York family. As Lucy begins to question accepted notions of success, bristling against her own hunger for male approval, she is drawn into the world of a pair of provocative feminist artists living in what remains of New York’s bohemia. Told with wit and pathos, The Falconer is at once a novel of ideas, a portrait of a time and place, and an ode to the obsessions of youth. In her critically acclaimed debut, Dana Czapnik captures the voice of an unforgettable modern literary heroine, a young woman in the first flush of freedom.

Hello Junk Mail!

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780980059212
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (592 download)

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Book Synopsis Hello Junk Mail! by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book Hello Junk Mail! written by Ted L. Nancy and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humour.

Nuts to You!

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Author :
Publisher : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN 13 : 9780152050641
Total Pages : 38 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (56 download)

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Book Synopsis Nuts to You! by : Lois Ehlert

Download or read book Nuts to You! written by Lois Ehlert and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2004 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A rascally squirrel has an indoor adventure in a city apartment.

Consumer Joe

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Author :
Publisher : Broadway
ISBN 13 : 9780767915021
Total Pages : 228 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (15 download)

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Book Synopsis Consumer Joe by : Paul Davidson

Download or read book Consumer Joe written by Paul Davidson and published by Broadway. This book was released on 2003 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the bestselling tradition of "The Lazlow Letters" and "Letters from a Nut," screenwriter Paul Davidson has been firing off humble but humorous letters to Fortune 500 companies to find answers to such hot-button questions like why hasn't Minute Maid begun to sell an all pulp, juice-free product yet, and whether it's safe to microwave a bowl of Marshmallow Fluff on high for ten minutes. And the funny thing is . . . consumer-care departments everywhere have been writing back to him, addressing his queries with deadpan seriousness. Collecting dozens of selections from Davidson's funniest correspondence, "Consumer Joe" uncovers why a box of fifty envelopes only contained forty-seven and how colorblind people are supposed to tell whether their Ziploc baggies ("yellow and blue makes green") are properly sealed, while making numerous product-improvement suggestions along the way (such as adding Tuna Melt flavor to the Jamba Juice product line). Taking aim at the increasingly advertising-sponsored society, "Consumer Joe" features utterly absurd but irresistible missives to companies ranging from Barnes & Noble and Fed-Ex to Southwest Airlines and Taco Bell. Full of kvetches we all can relate to, "Consumer Joe" is poised to become the patron saint of every beleaguered shopper.

Idiot Letters

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Author :
Publisher : Main Street Books
ISBN 13 : 9780385475082
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (75 download)

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Book Synopsis Idiot Letters by : Paul Rosa

Download or read book Idiot Letters written by Paul Rosa and published by Main Street Books. This book was released on 1995 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Look out, public relations; take cover, customer service -- Paul Rosa's letter is in the mail and his inventively imbecilic queries about consumer products have a way of eliciting equally idiotic and even more unlikely answers from some of America's biggest companies.

The Letters of Shirley Jackson

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Author :
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0593134648
Total Pages : 673 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (931 download)

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Book Synopsis The Letters of Shirley Jackson by : Shirley Jackson

Download or read book The Letters of Shirley Jackson written by Shirley Jackson and published by Random House. This book was released on 2021-07-13 with total page 673 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A bewitchingly brilliant collection of never-before-published letters from the renowned author of “The Lottery” and The Haunting of Hill House NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY KIRKUS REVIEWS • “This biography-through-letters gives an intimate and warm voice to the imagination behind the treasury of uncanny tales that is Shirley Jackson’s legacy.”—Joyce Carol Oates Shirley Jackson is one of the most important American authors of the last hundred years and among our greatest chroniclers of the female experience. This extraordinary compilation of personal correspondence has all the hallmarks of Jackson’s beloved fiction: flashes of the uncanny in the domestic, sparks of horror in the quotidian, and the veins of humor that run through good times and bad. i am having a fine time doing a novel with my left hand and a long story—with as many levels as grand central station—with my right hand, stirring chocolate pudding with a spoon held in my teeth, and tuning the television with both feet. Written over the course of nearly three decades, from Jackson’s college years to six days before her early death at the age of forty-eight, these letters become the autobiography Shirley Jackson never wrote. As well as being a bestselling author, Jackson spent much of her adult life as a mother of four in Vermont, and the landscape here is often the everyday: raucous holidays and trips to the dentist, overdue taxes and frayed lines of Christmas lights, new dogs and new babies. But in recounting these events to family, friends, and colleagues, she turns them into remarkable stories: entertaining, revealing, and wise. At the same time, many of these letters provide fresh insight into the genesis and progress of Jackson’s writing over nearly three decades. The novel is getting sadder. It’s always such a strange feeling—I know something’s going to happen, and those poor people in the book don’t; they just go blithely on their ways. Compiled and edited by her elder son, Laurence Jackson Hyman, in consultation with Jackson scholar Bernice M. Murphy and featuring Jackson’s own witty line drawings, this intimate collection holds the beguiling prism of Shirley Jackson—writer and reader, mother and daughter, neighbor and wife—up to the light.

Crying in H Mart

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Author :
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0525657754
Total Pages : 257 pages
Book Rating : 4.5/5 (256 download)

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Book Synopsis Crying in H Mart by : Michelle Zauner

Download or read book Crying in H Mart written by Michelle Zauner and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2021-04-20 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the indie rock sensation known as Japanese Breakfast, an unforgettable memoir about family, food, grief, love, and growing up Korean American—“in losing her mother and cooking to bring her back to life, Zauner became herself” (NPR). • CELEBRATING OVER ONE YEAR ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humor and heart, she tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, and performing gigs with her fledgling band--and meeting the man who would become her husband--her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her. Vivacious and plainspoken, lyrical and honest, Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage. Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely, and complete with family photos, Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish, share, and reread.

Collins Big Cat Phonics - Sam and the Nut

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Author :
Publisher : HarperCollins UK
ISBN 13 : 0007334990
Total Pages : 20 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (73 download)

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Book Synopsis Collins Big Cat Phonics - Sam and the Nut by : Sheryl Webster

Download or read book Collins Big Cat Phonics - Sam and the Nut written by Sheryl Webster and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2010 with total page 20 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sam the squirrel has seen a juicy looking nut at the top of a tree, but when he tries to knock it down, it falls to the ground and into the paws of a cat and a dog. Will he ever get his nut back? Beautiful illustrations by Giuditta Gaviraghi accompany this story. * Pink/1B - A simple story with a familiar setting * Text type: Fiction * Focus phonemes: s, a, t, i, p, n, m, c, g, k, ck, d, e, o, u * A story map on pages 14-15 helps children recap important events of the narrative and provides a wealth of speaking and listening opportunities

Dear Bob and Sue

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Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780985358181
Total Pages : 333 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (581 download)

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Book Synopsis Dear Bob and Sue by : Matt Smith

Download or read book Dear Bob and Sue written by Matt Smith and published by . This book was released on 2019-07-28 with total page 333 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories

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Author :
Publisher : Booksurge Publishing
ISBN 13 : 9781439247273
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (472 download)

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Book Synopsis Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories by : Ted L. Nancy

Download or read book Ted L. Nancy's Afternoon Stories written by Ted L. Nancy and published by Booksurge Publishing. This book was released on 2011-03-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now Ted writes stories instead of letters and reads them to people at their jobs. If they don't want to hear the story, he brings on an idiotic act like the ventriloquist with a puppet in a coma.

Nut Tree

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780578995199
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (951 download)

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Book Synopsis Nut Tree by : Diane Power Zimmerman

Download or read book Nut Tree written by Diane Power Zimmerman and published by . This book was released on 2021-10-29 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Long before California became a world leader in wine and food, Nut Tree pioneered the idea of dining as, first and foremost, an experience. The food not only delighted the palate, but it also presented a visual feast. By 1952, customers experienced the bounty of farm-to-table, the nostalgia of grandma's homemade bread, a tamale of Old California, exotic tropical fruits, or stir-fried entrees inspired by Asian cultures. Later, customers sipped California wines along with fresh-from-the-farm foods. This epic story of a world-famous restaurant spans the twentieth century and tells how a California ranch grew into a renowned destination in Vacaville, California, fifty miles inland from San Francisco. Visitors came by land and by air knowing they would find surprises-something found nowhere else. They came to dine, purchase fresh baked goods, candies, unique gifts, or just to look at the art and enjoy the entertainment. While basking in the hospitality, customers came back again and again, making life-long friends with family and employees. Central to the story is the author's grandmother, Helen Harbison Power, who, as a newlywed along with her husband, Bunny, opened a fruit stand that grew into a multi-million-dollar roadside destination. For seventy-five years, Nut Tree defined Western food, mid-century design, and cutting-edge hospitality, attracting ordinary folks, and serving dignitaries alike, including Ronald Regan, Neil Armstrong, and Queen Elizabeth II. While many journalists have written articles about the rich history of Nut Tree, no one has written a five-generation retrospective. Diane Power Zimmerman draws from her own experiences as a founding family member growing up at Nut Tree and from the treasure trove of memorabilia--photos, stories, family histories, newspaper clippings, and letters. She reflects on how Nut Tree defied the odds and foreshadowed the future. Then, seemingly overnight, the future became a high-speed freeway and wall-to-wall shopping centers with an abundance of choice and fierce competition. Nut Tree, in all its complexity, could no longer compete and closed after seventy-five years.

Last Lecture

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Author :
Publisher : Turtleback
ISBN 13 : 9781663608192
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (81 download)

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Book Synopsis Last Lecture by : Perfection Learning Corporation

Download or read book Last Lecture written by Perfection Learning Corporation and published by Turtleback. This book was released on 2019 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: