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1001 One Liners
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Book Synopsis The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by : Geoff Tibballs
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One-Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 607 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Download or read book 1001 Cool Jokes written by Glen Singleton and published by hinkler. This book was released on 2013-06-01 with total page 10 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Looking for some laughs? We have them! We have found 1001 of them and whacked them right here. Some are worth a giggle, there are a few that will raise a smile. There is a batch that will have you in stitches and another that will have you in tears. There's a special selection of jokes that will make you snort and a few that will make you smirk. This is a collection of the best jokes we could find around the world, so get into it and get your ribs tickling! Go on, buy the book, just for a laugh!
Download or read book 1001 Jokes written by Peter Eldin and published by . This book was released on 1999 with total page 156 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of gags, giggles, wisecracks and guffaws. From the best jokes to the worst, the gags in this joke book cover all the subjects dear to children's hearts - animals, school, food - and of course, include the timeless Knock Knock and What do you get if...? jokes.
Book Synopsis The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes by : Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Download or read book The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes written by Gordon Hideaki Nagai and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-10 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”
Book Synopsis Ultimate Book of Jokes by : Scott McNeely
Download or read book Ultimate Book of Jokes written by Scott McNeely and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2011-10-19 with total page 349 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From road-crossing chickens and classic knock-knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of more than 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with two-color line art throughout.
Book Synopsis The Best Joke Book (Period) by : William Donohue
Download or read book The Best Joke Book (Period) written by William Donohue and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-11 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!
Download or read book Golf Shorts written by Glenn Liebman and published by Robson Books Limited. This book was released on 1995 with total page 243 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Jokelopedia written by Eva Blank and published by Workman Publishing Company. This book was released on 2013-04-23 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It’s the mother of all kids’ joke books—an all-encompassing, gut-busting, and bestselling collection of more than 1,700 jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns for all occasions. Here are 61 elephant jokes, including: What did the elephant say when he walked into the post office? / Ouch! Dozens of knock-knock jokes, like: Knock-knock. / Who’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked. That’s why I knocked! Plus teacher jokes and creature jokes, doctor jokes and robber jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes, and name-game jokes: What do you call a man in a tiger’s cage? / Claude. And for all aspiring comedians, there are joke-telling pointers and tips, funny facts, and spotlights on comic TV shows, books, and actors, from Steve Carell to Tina Fey to SpongeBob Squarepants. It’s the ultimate gift for the incurable jokester.
Book Synopsis The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book by : Tim Vine
Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Book Synopsis The Funniest Quotes Book by : M. Prefontaine
Download or read book The Funniest Quotes Book written by M. Prefontaine and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-06-06 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool. Joseph Roux This is a collection of the funniest quotes culled by the author from the thousands that are out there to save the reader the trouble of perusing the multitude of mediocre to find the best. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to sit at home and enjoy the best humorous quotations for their own amusement. In the author's view the best humorous quotations are often those which contain an essence of truth viewed from an unexpected and quirky angle unseen previously.
Book Synopsis The Best Joke Book Ever by : Wayne Brindle
Download or read book The Best Joke Book Ever written by Wayne Brindle and published by Bookbaby. This book was released on 2019-12-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever wanted to be the life of the party but were unsure of where to start, this book will point you in the right direction! Contained within these pages are hundreds of the most hilarious jokes you'll ever read. From one-liners to enthralling sagas, this collection is genuinely The Best Joke Book Ever, and will entertain adults and children of all ages.This carefully curated collection includes new jokes, classic jokes, animals and blondes, married couples and lovers, doctors and patients, church-goers, students, lawyers, crooks and more!
Book Synopsis Man Walks Into a Bar by : Stephen Arnott
Download or read book Man Walks Into a Bar written by Stephen Arnott and published by Random House. This book was released on 2004 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.
Book Synopsis The Book of Witty One-Liners by : Manhardeep Singh
Download or read book The Book of Witty One-Liners written by Manhardeep Singh and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2020-07-23 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Would you like to be the smartest person in the room? These 1000 one-liners will make you the wittiest one people have ever met. The Book of Witty One-liners can: * Help you break the ice in any situation * Make you look the sharpest * Project you as the funniest * Attract people through your continuous one-liners * Give you a happy time reading them The Book of Witty One-liners is the p(h)unniest, wittiest, and the most hilarious compilation of one-liners that is sure to get your gut-busting. If you like to laugh your way to hilarity, have endless one-liners up your sleeve, then you'll love Manhardeep Singh's one-liners book. Buy The Book of Witty One-liners and have a hearty laugh!
Book Synopsis Relationship, Love and Marriage Jokes Book by : Juicy Quotes
Download or read book Relationship, Love and Marriage Jokes Book written by Juicy Quotes and published by . This book was released on 2019-12-19 with total page 72 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This relationship, love and marriage joke book is perfect for lovers and couples. Great funny present for Valentines Day, anniversaries and birthdays to give to your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband and wife. Enjoy over 60 pages of funny jokes and puns with your loved one. Now available in the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Germany and many other countries. Start enjoy lots of laughs today!
Book Synopsis 1001+ Wacky, Daffy, Crazy One Liners and Definitions! by : Thos Zettel
Download or read book 1001+ Wacky, Daffy, Crazy One Liners and Definitions! written by Thos Zettel and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on 2017-01-10 with total page 83 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 1001+ Wacky, Daffy, Crazy One Liners and Definitions! by Thos Zettel Experiencing crazy days or/and nights? Daffier than daffy friends and/or family members? Wacky events control your life and happen all too soon to you? ‘Furr-ga-about it!’ Friend and/or not foe… Pick up this book, then put it down, pick it up, down, up again and keep it up, because isn’t laughter the best medicine? The title tells you what it’s about, but the author needs to bore you for about 1100 letters (half a $100 worth). Here we go, that’s three, now five, he means… Really just open it up, stick your nose into it and read a few lines, then a few more, and a couple more, then more, and before you know it, you’ve read some for free (what’s for free now-a-days?). If you like it, buy it. If you don’t like it, buy it anyway (Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa is only XXX day’s away). Zettel had to burn up four dozen plus two words…that’s fifty right? Listen, we all know that life can be tough or bizarre or I don’t know what?! It can also be pleasant and laid-back and it can be “I don’t want to know anything, except ‘Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha…’” fun and ‘funny-d-ness’ (trademarked word). So pick it up, buy it, read it, and if you don’t dig-it, re-gift it. If you do, buy two or more for some friends and some not so ‘foettes’ (trademarked also!), then everybody can delight in a good (excellent!) chuckle-y until wacky, daffy, and crazy schedules and resume in life’s progression. Enjoy and dig-it!
Download or read book DTrace written by Brendan Gregg and published by Prentice Hall Professional. This book was released on 2011-03-18 with total page 1152 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Oracle Solaris DTrace feature revolutionizes the way you debug operating systems and applications. Using DTrace, you can dynamically instrument software and quickly answer virtually any question about its behavior. Now, for the first time, there's a comprehensive, authoritative guide to making the most of DTrace in any supported UNIX environment--from Oracle Solaris to OpenSolaris, Mac OS X, and FreeBSD. Written by key contributors to the DTrace community, DTrace teaches by example, presenting scores of commands and easy-to-adapt, downloadable D scripts. These concise examples generate answers to real and useful questions, and serve as a starting point for building more complex scripts. Using them, you can start making practical use of DTrace immediately, whether you're an administrator, developer, analyst, architect, or support professional. The authors fully explain the goals, techniques, and output associated with each script or command. Drawing on their extensive experience, they provide strategy suggestions, checklists, and functional diagrams, as well as a chapter of advanced tips and tricks. You'll learn how to Write effective scripts using DTrace's D language Use DTrace to thoroughly understand system performance Expose functional areas of the operating system, including I/O, filesystems, and protocols Use DTrace in the application and database development process Identify and fix security problems with DTrace Analyze the operating system kernel Integrate DTrace into source code Extend DTrace with other tools This book will help you make the most of DTrace to solve problems more quickly and efficiently, and build systems that work faster and more reliably.
Book Synopsis I'm So Glad You Told Me What I Didn't Wanna Hear by : Barbara Johnson
Download or read book I'm So Glad You Told Me What I Didn't Wanna Hear written by Barbara Johnson and published by HarperChristian + ORM. This book was released on 1996-04-03 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For parents who have been knocked to the floor by bad news and plastered to the ceiling by unwelcome surprises . . . here's a book to prop you up, scrape you down, and (believe it or not) help you laugh again. Bad news is bad enough. .But bad news about your children carries a triple whammy of pain, worry, and "where did we go wrong!" An accident, an illness, an unwholesome lifestyle, a devastating decision?the truth about these awful events can turn your life upside down, isolate you from family and friends, drain you of hope, and overpower you with stress. If that's your experience right now, this book can be a lifesaver. Crammed with practical guidance and sanity-saving laughter, it's a gift of hope to you from "the queen of encouragement," Barbara Johnson and other men and women who are "out there on the dance floor of life, doing the lost-parent shuffle." Drawing on her personal experience, her years of ministering to parents in pain, and the letters she has received from hundreds of hurting (and healing) parents, Barbara Johnson shares: what you can expect in the days ahead?and how to cope what to do with your shock, pain, and guilt how to find grace for your ongoing stress how to love your kids without trying to "fix 'em" how to find comfort and encouragement in scripture, friendship, and the knowledge that you're not alone how to locate a support group?or start one of your own how to pull together with your spouse?instead of letting your pain pull you apart She salts each chapter with wry observations, uplifting letters, sunny day-lifters, cartoons and just plain-funny one-liners?to life your spirits and bring you comfort. Whether you're stuck on the ceiling, groping through the tunnel, smoldering in the fire, or down for the count, this book can keep you moving and even keep you laughing through your tears as you travel the rocky path from "Why me, Lord?" to "Thank you, Lord."
