Youre A Vampire That Sucks

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You're a Vampire - That Sucks!

Author : Domenick Dicce
Publisher : National Geographic Books
ISBN 13 : 0399175881
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (991 download)

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Book Synopsis You're a Vampire - That Sucks! by : Domenick Dicce

Download or read book You're a Vampire - That Sucks! written by Domenick Dicce and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker—tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go. As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, “Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101—such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers—to Vampire Graduate Studies—such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire. This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout.

You Suck

Author : Christopher Moore
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0060590297
Total Pages : 340 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (65 download)

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Book Synopsis You Suck by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book You Suck written by Christopher Moore and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2007-01-16 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Waking up after a fantastic night only to discover that his girlfriend is a vampire and has transformed him into one, C. Thomas Flood adapts to his new powers while dealing with a dangerous faction of bloodsuckers trying to kill off all other vampires.

Vampire Management

Author : Joseph Phillips
Publisher : Instructingcom, LLC
ISBN 13 : 9780983970101
Total Pages : 126 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (71 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampire Management by : Joseph Phillips

Download or read book Vampire Management written by Joseph Phillips and published by Instructingcom, LLC. This book was released on 2011-10 with total page 126 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I'm a vampire and I'm your manager. I'd rather drink your blood than coffee. Your job sucks because you work for me. For years I've owned you, controlled you, and made your life miserable, but not anymore. I'm retiring and I'm sharing some secrets that just might get me killed. I don't care - I'm dead already. Vampires rule over corporate fiefdoms and control workers by the minute. You know you're working for a vampire when your manager doesn't care about your goals, your family life, and the misery you endure just to do your job. If you hate your job because of your manager, your coworkers, or because you can't afford to quit, you're probably working for a vampire. You might dream of breaking free from the corporate graveyard to pursue your life's passion. People warn you not to get your hopes up. To hell with them. Get your hopes up. Try hard and harder. Create goals. If you want to achieve you have to get your hopes up or there's nothing for you to look forward to. If you aren't willing to take a chance, come by my office, bare your neck, and I'll put you out of our misery. Vampire Management: Why Your Job Sucks is a biting look at today's corporate environment and its control of the workforce. Management consultant and author Joseph Phillips explores the dynamics of office life from the viewpoint of a bitter and aging vampire. It's an honest look at why so many workers are unhappy in their careers, feel stuck in a job they hate, and how people can escape from vampire managers. This is a read you can sink your teeth into.

Sucks to Be Me

Author : Kimberly Pauley
Publisher : Wizards of the Coast
ISBN 13 : 0786955775
Total Pages : 217 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (869 download)

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Book Synopsis Sucks to Be Me by : Kimberly Pauley

Download or read book Sucks to Be Me written by Kimberly Pauley and published by Wizards of the Coast. This book was released on 2010-01-26 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mina Hamilton's parents want her dead. (Or undead to be precise.) They're vampires, and like it or not, Mina must decide whether to become a vampire herself. But Mina's more interested in hanging out with best friend Serena and trying to catch the eye of the too-hot-for-high-school Nathan Able than in the vampire training classes she's being forced to take. How's a girl supposed to find the perfect prom date and pass third-year French when her mom and dad are breathing down her neck--literally?

Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever.

Author : Caissie St. Onge
Publisher : Ember
ISBN 13 : 0375899766
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (758 download)

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Book Synopsis Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. by : Caissie St. Onge

Download or read book Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. written by Caissie St. Onge and published by Ember. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do? Fans of the Vladmir Tod Chronicles, You are So Undead to Me, and Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side will feast on this deliciously readable, smart, and fantastically funny debut.

Suck It Up

Author : Brian Meehl
Publisher : Delacorte Press
ISBN 13 : 0375848940
Total Pages : 338 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (758 download)

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Book Synopsis Suck It Up by : Brian Meehl

Download or read book Suck It Up written by Brian Meehl and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2008-05-13 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ARE YOU UP to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories? Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords? Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He’s a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me—this is like no other vampire book you’ll ever feed on. So, as my buddy Morning says, “Pop the lid, and suck it up.”

Bite Me

Author : Christopher Moore
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 006198616X
Total Pages : 281 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (619 download)

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Book Synopsis Bite Me by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book Bite Me written by Christopher Moore and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-03-23 with total page 281 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”

Vampires Never Get Old

Author : Zoraida Córdova
Publisher : Imprint
ISBN 13 : 1250230004
Total Pages : 282 pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (52 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampires Never Get Old by : Zoraida Córdova

Download or read book Vampires Never Get Old written by Zoraida Córdova and published by Imprint. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Eleven fresh vampire stories from young adult fiction’s leading voices fill this bestselling anthology—including V.E. Schwab's First Kill, now a major Netflix adaptation! "Boundary-pushing... Stories that stake a new claim on old tropes." —Publishers Weekly, starred review In this delicious new collection, you’ll find stories about lurking vampires of social media, rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, eager vampires coming out—and going out for their first kill—and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night. Welcome to the evolution of the vampire—and a revolution on the page. Vampires Never Get Old includes stories by authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley. An Imprint Book "Vampire fans, sink your teeth into this satisfying collection." —Kirkus Reviews

Bloodsucking Fiends

Author : Christopher Moore
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1439191492
Total Pages : 297 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (391 download)

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Book Synopsis Bloodsucking Fiends by : Christopher Moore

Download or read book Bloodsucking Fiends written by Christopher Moore and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-12-15 with total page 297 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

Interview with the Vampire

Author : Anne Rice
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0345337662
Total Pages : 369 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (453 download)

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Book Synopsis Interview with the Vampire by : Anne Rice

Download or read book Interview with the Vampire written by Anne Rice and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1991-09-13 with total page 369 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The spellbinding classic that started it all, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author—the inspiration for the hit television series “A magnificent, compulsively readable thriller . . . Rice begins where Bram Stoker and the Hollywood versions leave off and penetrates directly to the true fascination of the myth—the education of the vampire.”—Chicago Tribune Here are the confessions of a vampire. Hypnotic, shocking, and chillingly sensual, this is a novel of mesmerizing beauty and astonishing force—a story of danger and flight, of love and loss, of suspense and resolution, and of the extraordinary power of the senses. It is a novel only Anne Rice could write.

Vampire Crush

Author : A. M. Robinson
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062039725
Total Pages : 420 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (62 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampire Crush by : A. M. Robinson

Download or read book Vampire Crush written by A. M. Robinson and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-12-28 with total page 420 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I swear, my life was always totally normal. Normal house, normal family, normal school. My looks are average, I don't have any superpowers, no one's showing up to tell me I'm a princess—you get the picture. But when my junior year started, something not normal happened. There were new kids at school . . . new kids with a wardrobe straight out of a 19th-century romance novel, and an inexplicable desire to stay at school until sundown. And on top of that, James Hallowell showed up. James, who stole my sandwiches in fourth grade and teased me mercilessly through middle school. James, who now seems to have the power to make my heart race any time he comes near. But something weird is going on. Because James rarely goes out during the day. And he seems stronger than your typical guy. And he knows the new kids, all of whom seem to be harboring some kind of deep secret. . . .

How to Steal the Mona Lisa

Author : Taylor Bayouth
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0698196716
Total Pages : 224 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (981 download)

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Book Synopsis How to Steal the Mona Lisa by : Taylor Bayouth

Download or read book How to Steal the Mona Lisa written by Taylor Bayouth and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-03-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A step-by-step guide for the craft of high stakes thievery In How to Steal the Mona Lisa, author Taylor Bayouth meticulously describes seven heists of priceless art and artifacts: the Hope Diamond, the "Mona Lisa," the Archaeopteryx Lithographica, Rodin's "Thinker," King Tut's golden death mask, the Crown Jewels, and the Codex Leicester. With this trusty guide, learn to: - Camouflage a getaway car. - Hack security systems. - Navigate air ducts. - Master the art of disguise. - Pick locks, scale buildings, and more. Illustrated throughout, this book contains all the information you need to acquire equipment, recruit partners, strategize the perfect crime, and discreetly sell off your stolen national treasures.

Well This Sucks

Author : Carrie Gray
Publisher : Independently Published
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 432 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (93 download)

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Book Synopsis Well This Sucks by : Carrie Gray

Download or read book Well This Sucks written by Carrie Gray and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2020-10-02 with total page 432 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I treat eating pancakes on patios like it's a personality trait.Brunch is my jam. I like the beach, shopping, carbs, and reading naughty books on the train during my commute. I wear pink. Lots of it. If Tinder were an olympic sport, I'd take home the gold. I can rock stilettos like they're a pair of Nike joggers. I'm basically a basic bitch.I'm in the prime of my life. I've got my dream job as the head of marketing at a sex toy company, and I've been steadily dating myself for the better half of the last decade. I'm thirty, flirty, and thriving, dammit.Or at least I was, until some fucker had the audacity to turn me into a vampire.I don't do blood and doom and gloom. I sure as hell don't like sleeping in a coffin, avoiding garlic bread, and these ridiculous vamp politics. And don't get me started on Diego. He's vampire royalty and a pain in my ass. A very sexy pain in the ass. When he's not driving me crazy with all his rules, he's turning my panties into Niagara falls.I absolutely refuse to live the rest of my immortal life in some wannabe nineties grunge music video.

The Lifelong Project

Author : Joseph Phillips
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9780615337548
Total Pages : 168 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (375 download)

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Book Synopsis The Lifelong Project by : Joseph Phillips

Download or read book The Lifelong Project written by Joseph Phillips and published by . This book was released on 2009-11 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What could happen if you were the project manager of your life? Around the world people are desperately searching for answers, direction, motivation, and purpose. Lives are in high demand but living is in low supply. The business of life needs new management and The Lifelong Project offers the solution. You will determine your wants and needs, create goals, seize your ambitions, and maximize your potential. Your Lifelong Project begins today. As the project manager of your life you have the authority to plan, control, and get things done. You'll achieve more than you ever thought possible. You'll find answers to squelch fears, dismiss doubts, and banish anxiety. Your goals will move from flimsy wishes to life-changing accomplishments. This isn't goal setting - this is goal achieving!

Dead Collections

Author : Isaac Fellman
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0143136917
Total Pages : 257 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (431 download)

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Book Synopsis Dead Collections by : Isaac Fellman

Download or read book Dead Collections written by Isaac Fellman and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2022-02-22 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A whirlwind romance between an eccentric archivist and a grieving widow explores what it means to be at home in your own body in this clever, humorous, and heartfelt novel. When archivist Sol meets Elsie, the larger than life widow of a moderately famous television writer who's come to donate her wife's papers, there's an instant spark. But Sol has a secret: he suffers from an illness called vampirism, and hides from the sun by living in his basement office. On their way to falling in love, the two traverse grief, delve into the Internet fandom they once unknowingly shared, and navigate the realities of transphobia and the stigmas of carrying the "vampire disease." Then, when strange things start happening at the collection, Sol must embrace even more of the unknown to save himself and his job. DEAD COLLECTIONS is a wry novel full of heart and empathy, that celebrates the journey, the difficulties and joys, in finding love and comfort within our own bodies.

Vampire - The Masquerade 5th Edition

Author : Modiphius Entertainment
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781912200924
Total Pages : pages
Book Rating : 4.2/5 (9 download)

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Book Synopsis Vampire - The Masquerade 5th Edition by : Modiphius Entertainment

Download or read book Vampire - The Masquerade 5th Edition written by Modiphius Entertainment and published by . This book was released on 2018-09 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Vampire: The Masquerade is the original and ultimate roleplaying game of personal and political horror. You are a vampire, struggling for survival, supremacy, and your own fading humanityafraid of what you are capable of, and fearful of the inhuman conspiracies that surround you.

Angel Killer

Author : Andrew Mayne
Publisher : Harper Collins
ISBN 13 : 0062348884
Total Pages : 264 pages
Book Rating : 4.0/5 (623 download)

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Book Synopsis Angel Killer by : Andrew Mayne

Download or read book Angel Killer written by Andrew Mayne and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-09-23 with total page 264 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the first installment in Andrew Mayne's sensational mystery series, FBI agent Jessica Blackwood believes she has successfully left her complicated life as a gifted magician behind her . . . until a killer with seemingly supernatural powers puts her talents to the ultimate test. A mysterious hacker, who identifies himself only as “Warlock,” brings down the FBI’s website and posts a code in its place. It hides the GPS coordinates of a Michigan cemetery, where a dead girl is discovered rising from the ground . . . as if she tried to crawl out of her own grave. Born into a dynasty of illusionists, Jessica Blackwood is destined to become its next star—until she turns her back on her troubled family, and her legacy, to begin a new life in law enforcement. But FBI consultant Dr. Jeffrey Ailes’s discovery of an old copy of Magician Magazine will turn Jessica’s carefully constructed world upside down. Faced with a crime that appears beyond explanation, Ailes has nothing to lose—and everything to gain—by taking a chance on an agent raised in a world devoted to seemingly achieving the impossible. The body in the cemetery is only the first in the Warlock’s series of dark miracles. Thrust into the media spotlight, with time ticking away until the next crime, can Jessica confront her past to embrace her gifts and stop a depraved killer? If she can’t, she may become his next victim.